Want you back for good

[gayparee]

Like many sports, croquet is basically a game of confidence (at least as far as the skill side goes - tactics are another matter). Step onto the court feeling good and you're halfway to victory already. The trouble is that confidence is very hard to engender. As an example, on a handful of occasions in my croquet career I've stepped up to a long

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[gayparee]

For quite a while, a "county" was pretty much anyone who could get six players and a reasonable case - hence the Channel Islands. But a few years ago, with the event becoming increasingly popular, things were tightened up and counties based on the 1971 counties, for the simple reason that at that time everyone in the country lived in one county or another. These days, with all the unitary authorities and metropolitan areas, that isn't the case. The only exceptions were Avon, who were allowed to continue to compete for as long as they can raise a team (and this is why there isn't a Somerset), and Channel Islands, who were an exception for (I presume) historical reason, and can continue to compete even if they have years out due to not being able to raise a team.

For the first time this year, the event was oversubscribed and Norfolk (the bottom team in 2006) played off against new applicants Wiltshire for the last spot. As the event becomes increasingly popular, this is likely to continue. Oxfordshire are very close indeed - off the top of my head I can think of at least four players who are good enough. There isn't a club in Cambridge other than the university club, which doesn't have its own lawns, so I think they're some way. Other possibilities are Northamptonshire, who competed in the past but haven't been able to find a team recently, Berkshire (ditto) and Cumbria, who are close but need too many Lancastrians. (One of the rules is that you have to be able to field a team of sufficient strength without cannibalising existing sides.)

I am already Middlesex captain! It's more of a hassle than a joy, although I do enjoy trying to find new players to improve the team. on two days this year our worst player on paper was a 0.5, so I am gradually succeeding.

The social side is to a large extent the lunches, teas, and general bar-room gossip during the day - this year, for example, I learnt that during one of the English team's trips out to New Zealand in the days when they still travelled by boat, one of the players stole another's wife! Bet that did a lot for team solidarity. But we also go out in the evening for a meal and a few drinks. No-one other than me was up for painting the town red, sadly.

[jiggery_pokery]

I am already Middlesex captain! I knew that! Will you necessarily be next year, though? Not to disparage your evidently fine captaincy, of course.

Oh, England's county system. *rolls eyes* How would hypothetical Major League Croquet with franchises based on the nine governmental regions of England work in practice? More seriously, how many of those nine regions would be able to raise a team? *investigates* Crikey, the lot (heck, the CA has ten English regions, not nine) plus Glamorgan could represent Wales and Scotland is perfectly well-represented already. Carry on.

I am delighted to see that Middlesbrough is adequately represented in the croquet department, if not quite a powerhouse; our last house was about five furlongs, I would say, from our local lawn. (But, less plausibly and so more impressively, where I used to live with Dad, in the post-Oxonian GIT days, is within sight of where the local Aussie Rules Football team play.) If you ever come up here then I should take you to see either hallowed turf. You could play a round against the club champion at either one, I'm sure.