"Sitting on the toilet."

[bipolarymess]

This post of written on my iphone around 12:36 am. May 3, 2019. Friday.

I’m about five hours in after taking one of my sister’s “poop teas”.  Pineapple flavored. I could stand to continue losing a few pounds, why not? I’ve already lost some weight. All my jeans and joggers have been falling off my ass lately.

Depression looks pretty good on me.

I’m also stoned off my tits from smoking with my brother in law out in the garage all night so dont judge me if I ramble off in nonsense.

The title of this post is correct.

I am.

It’s been a shitty past few days. Heh, pun. Don’t want to get into it right now. I’ve been taking it pretty well today. It got a little more bearable once I flipped the switch in my mind and forced myself into a day of self care. Had to get out of the house for a bit. i ended up by my sister's.

...

Since I was in the neighborhood... I kinda texted the Neo-Nazi. He was rather dismissive but he mentioned he was celebrating his son’s birthday so I understood. Plus there’s no feelings in play here. It’s just physical. He’s straight and in a relationship with his live-in baby mama. He’s “straight”, actually. He begged me to teach him how to deep throat my cock and, from first hand knowledge, I could tell you he vocally and very enthusiastically enjoys getting f’ed in the A.

I must have subconsciously did some manscaping the other day. he likes his dicks smooth, like his own. (Fuck he has a good dick) But I refuse to do the tortoise shell thing down there so I gave myself a nice and neat trim. I mean, I swear I must have done all this subconsciously because I definitely was not planning to meet him in his garage and plow him senseless later tonight. But since I was here.

Whatever. Another time.

I do seem to have a pattern, don’t I?

No strings attached. Unavailable. DTF (with some kind of courting perhaps, depending on how hot of a guy I’m dealing with.) Neo-Nazi? Hot as fuck. There’s no lead up needed. Just, “we’re meeting to fuck. Okay, we fucked. See you next time. To fuck."

He looks kinda scummy. “Like he can’t remember if he’s Catholic or not” (name that movie and book).

Dangerous. Like I might have to fight a bitch.

“Straight”.

Ish.

Just my type.

...

False alarm.  Just gas.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bje_8Y7KUfM