From Here
I'm a bit wistful tonight, which led to some random perusing of the interwebs in search of people that are lost to me. I've burned a lot of bridges in my day... makes me wonder what could have been, for a few brief moments. There are so many faces and voices I'll never see or hear again (some for the better).
There's an old saying in the genealogical world, and it goes a little something like this: All people suffer two deaths. The first is the biological kind. The second is when everyone who ever knew you takes a dirt nap as well.
I've made plenty of mistakes, and failed to live up to the expectations of numerous people who I've come across, but I don't feel bad about it. Generally, the expectations of others revolve around complicity in the domineering schemes of a few bad apples. Some of those people I've told off properly. Some of the others got the best of me and exited stage left before I had a chance to even contest the validity of their behavior. Even if I know I was justified in saying or doing what I said or did, I can't help but pay some sliver of mind to that nagging little voice in my head that says "maybe you should apologize." Jamie said it best, though: if you're truly sorry for what you did, you wouldn't have done it in the first place. You did what you did because you wanted to, and no apology can take that shit back.
I know I'm not perfect. I don't even try to be. I embrace my human frailties and try my best to take them in stride. It's all one can really do to get through the day to day, isn't it?
Time to stop staring from the shoreline and leave the rubble behind me.
There's an old saying in the genealogical world, and it goes a little something like this: All people suffer two deaths. The first is the biological kind. The second is when everyone who ever knew you takes a dirt nap as well.
I've made plenty of mistakes, and failed to live up to the expectations of numerous people who I've come across, but I don't feel bad about it. Generally, the expectations of others revolve around complicity in the domineering schemes of a few bad apples. Some of those people I've told off properly. Some of the others got the best of me and exited stage left before I had a chance to even contest the validity of their behavior. Even if I know I was justified in saying or doing what I said or did, I can't help but pay some sliver of mind to that nagging little voice in my head that says "maybe you should apologize." Jamie said it best, though: if you're truly sorry for what you did, you wouldn't have done it in the first place. You did what you did because you wanted to, and no apology can take that shit back.
I know I'm not perfect. I don't even try to be. I embrace my human frailties and try my best to take them in stride. It's all one can really do to get through the day to day, isn't it?
Time to stop staring from the shoreline and leave the rubble behind me.