Poor Man's Fortune
Looking around at all the people I know and love in this world, it makes me sad to know that they're just as unhappy as I am. It makes me wonder about a great many things. Is there really justice in this world? Is it entirely possible that people -don't- deserve happiness? Is it better to be humble than to feel self-entitled?
By the same token, is it wrong to WANT to be happy?
Skimming LJ, I find more of the same. The same feel I have right now. That stagnant, desperate want. Then I stumble on something that makes my blood boil. It's nothing offensive by nature; just the opposite in fact. This happening is so pure and beautiful in its happening that I feel an instinctual loathing for this person. I didn't catch it at first. It just felt like something scratching beneath the surface, but soon, I had picked it open and out came the ugly likeliness of resentment. Resentment that I can't feel that way, resentment that I don't even have the faculties to "feel" as sincerely as I once did.
I looked upon truth and beauty and reviled it only because it IS what I AM NOT, and it pains me so greatly to know that.
By the same token, is it wrong to WANT to be happy?
Skimming LJ, I find more of the same. The same feel I have right now. That stagnant, desperate want. Then I stumble on something that makes my blood boil. It's nothing offensive by nature; just the opposite in fact. This happening is so pure and beautiful in its happening that I feel an instinctual loathing for this person. I didn't catch it at first. It just felt like something scratching beneath the surface, but soon, I had picked it open and out came the ugly likeliness of resentment. Resentment that I can't feel that way, resentment that I don't even have the faculties to "feel" as sincerely as I once did.
I looked upon truth and beauty and reviled it only because it IS what I AM NOT, and it pains me so greatly to know that.