And let the Countdown Begin....
Well it is now Monday morning. Very early on monday morning. I am working on getting some fo the stuff done just in case Madeline decides that it is time to arrive. I am updating my laptop's software, dumping the Camera's memory card, and verifying I have a phone list in my pocket. Iron Chef in the background, and
morningdozerjust went to bed. This is common for me lately, but right now even if I did goto bed, my mind is just working all over the place and I wouldn't sleep. So I am trying to just take care of some stuff and try to decompress.
Anxiety is running high for me right now. Madeline's imminent arrival, 2 family members in the hospital, adjusting to a new job, and bills that are way beyond what is coming in is just a lot. As
morningdozermentioned we are scheduled to try to flip Madeline on Weds, but with dilation already starting I am hoping she waits that long. I am relieved that we are getting toward the end, but I am scared as well. I am hoping Madeline and A'mee are both receptive to the ECV to change Madeline's position. I just want them both safe. Even if it means having to have a longer recovery time (c-section). We are hoping for a standard delivery, but if Madeline is uncooperative or decides to arrive early we will have to resort to C-section. At this point, it is a waiting game.
In other news, my dad is up clearing out my Grandmother's old place at her assisted living facility. My sisters and cousin all came in and carted off what they wanted and my dad loaded up his truck. I spoke with him tonight and I could tell he was really having a hard time with it all. I am as well. Tomorrow, he signs the closing paperwork on the old place and pays for another month of the hospice care and nurse at the home that she is in now. I know he is hurting and I wish I could help more than I have. I feel as though I may have let him down bc I wasn't able to help. I am hoping to get some cleaning done around here tomorrow so that
morningdozerdoesn't have to worry about AS much. Right now I am going to work on trying to reduce the stress of those around me without exploding myself. I know I am crazy or self destructive for trying but I have to do something. I know I still have a lot to learn about being a good father to Elias, let alone taking care of a newborn.
Off to get some stuff done. Good night all....
I can't play wow bc I believe my video card is starting to fail.
morningdozerjust went to bed. This is common for me lately, but right now even if I did goto bed, my mind is just working all over the place and I wouldn't sleep. So I am trying to just take care of some stuff and try to decompress.
Anxiety is running high for me right now. Madeline's imminent arrival, 2 family members in the hospital, adjusting to a new job, and bills that are way beyond what is coming in is just a lot. As
morningdozermentioned we are scheduled to try to flip Madeline on Weds, but with dilation already starting I am hoping she waits that long. I am relieved that we are getting toward the end, but I am scared as well. I am hoping Madeline and A'mee are both receptive to the ECV to change Madeline's position. I just want them both safe. Even if it means having to have a longer recovery time (c-section). We are hoping for a standard delivery, but if Madeline is uncooperative or decides to arrive early we will have to resort to C-section. At this point, it is a waiting game.
In other news, my dad is up clearing out my Grandmother's old place at her assisted living facility. My sisters and cousin all came in and carted off what they wanted and my dad loaded up his truck. I spoke with him tonight and I could tell he was really having a hard time with it all. I am as well. Tomorrow, he signs the closing paperwork on the old place and pays for another month of the hospice care and nurse at the home that she is in now. I know he is hurting and I wish I could help more than I have. I feel as though I may have let him down bc I wasn't able to help. I am hoping to get some cleaning done around here tomorrow so that
morningdozerdoesn't have to worry about AS much. Right now I am going to work on trying to reduce the stress of those around me without exploding myself. I know I am crazy or self destructive for trying but I have to do something. I know I still have a lot to learn about being a good father to Elias, let alone taking care of a newborn.
Off to get some stuff done. Good night all....
I can't play wow bc I believe my video card is starting to fail.