He's under my skin (just give me something to get rid of him)
Red and Kennedy came waltzin' on in and then Wes tried his best to explain about Vail and the Circle of Black Thorn that had taken Soul Boy outta the picture for good. Willow listened intently and Ken did her usual butting in every few minutes to ask a question or argue about something. I could tell she was really startin' to piss Wes off when that
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Thank you Faith.
Though she'd probably never admit she might have done it even a little bit to give me some rest too. I'm well aware she more or less fled out of the room because of the talk about Magic. She didn't under stand it and it made her feel uncomfortable. Much like it apparently did Kennedy. Strange twit that one. I think I did a pretty good job of not letting Willow know what I thought of the girl she kept gushing on about.
When we came back from our little magic shopping spree, we talked some more in their room. Until Kennedy arrived. Then I only stayed until it was polite enough to get the hell out. I wonder if it was a wise idea to have Kennedy tag along. But I doubted she'd let Willow leave on her own. No matter, we'll find a way. Or I'll just have to accept it.
After all, I did learn with Faith. More then learned it with her, hadn't I?
When I got to our room, I quietly went inside, since Kennedy told me Faith was already back. She might be sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up. When I closed around, I was greeted by a sight I had no expected. At all. Connor, holding Faith by the throat. Tilting my head, I closed the door softly, wondering if he'd heard me or if I had time to get the tazer.
He looked just as he had done when he came back from Quor-Toth. Not a good sign.
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"Hello Wesley." Connor said, his eyes still intently focused on my face. Guess that answered that question, although how had he heard 'em? He was a vampire's kid so maybe he could smell him. He said he was a good tracker, he could smell things and he had superpowers. Great. "I wouldn't move if I were you." He warned Wes as his grip tightened on my throat. Okay, I've had about all I was gonna take of that.
Lashing out with a leg I turned us over quickly forcing him to lose his grip on my throat and turn the tables so I was on top of him.
"What the fuck are you talkin' about, Connor?" I hissed down at him, trying to hold him still underneath me. "I didn't do anything to Angel."
The words barely left my mouth and he yanked an arm free and hit me hard in the jaw, sending me flying into the wall and down to the floor. I got up quickly, Noname still growling and barking loudly as I glanced over and exchanged a look with a surprised Wes before turning back to Connor who was gettin' up off the bed. He was glarin' at me with a murderous rage in his eyes and I could feel it. Feel it all the way in my soul.
"You killed Angel!" He yelled at me, advancing slowly. "I remember it all now! I don't know why my memories were erased but they're back now. I won't let you play games with me anymore."
Putting my hands up I backed towards the wall. I could take him easy but I wanted him to know I was on his side.
"I dont' know what you're talkin' about, Kid. But someone's been messin' with that head of yours." I said calmly, tryin' to get it through his head that I was on his side.
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A little late perhaps, but still.
And then everything went rather fast. I heard Noname yelp when Connor bounced up again. Quickly moving over, I scooped him up and was on my way to the carrier when Connor started talking again. Looking at Faith with a mixture of surprise and puzzlement, I raised an eyebrow. What the hell was he talking about? Faith didn't kill Angel. Quite the opposite in fact, we were trying to get out revenge on the git who did.
Pushing Noname in the carrier, I stood up and slowly moved behind Connor. He seemed to have only eyes for Faith. The rage and insanity in his eyes frighteningly recognizable. I let Faith do the talking for now, since he did focus on her. Wouldn't want to confuse the boy. But my hand did hover near my gun. I didn't want to shoot him, but I would if I had to. Not kill him, but I could take him out easily.
My eyes met Faith's a she tried to reason with a mad Connor. If past experience were anything to go by, it would have little to no use. Not when he was still able to lash out at us at any given time. What happened, why would he think we had anything to do with Angel's death. What exactly did he....remember.
Vail. He's the maker of the spell, he must've tinkered with it. "Bloody bastard," I muttered under my breath.
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I didn't wanna hurt the kid but he had the superpowers goin' on so I wasn't too worried about leavin' him with a few bruises here and there. Or ya know, a lot of 'em. Gettin' randomly attacked in my hotel room had a habit of pissing me right the fuck off.
Grabbing him by his arm I started to toss him to the wall the opposite direction of Wesley, but he used my own momentum against me and flipped me onto my back. I could see Wes reachin' for the gun, so I quickly grabbed the kid by his legs and brought him crashing down to the ground beside me. Flipping him over so he was on his back, I tried to pin him down but he wouldn't stop struggling and the kid was wicked strong.
"Connor, I didn't do anything to Angel, I swear to fucking God. Why would I hurt him? It wasn't me, you have to listen to me." I pleaded with him, still struggling with him on the floor.
"I remember it, Faith!" He yelled at me, letting his fist smash into my jaw and knockin' me back down to the floor. Fuck! I was gettin' wicked pissed off now. Springing up to my feet quickly he matched my pace as we traded and blocked various blows. Finally it looked like I had the upperhand when I blocked a punch and countered with my foot right to his face. How do you like that for footwork.
Think he was startin' to get that he wasn't gonna win the battle right now, because he grabbed me by the shoulders and slammed my back flat against the wall.
"I know what you did, and you are going to pay for it." He hissed right into my face before dashing past Wesley and out the door.
Quickly I burst into a run into the hallway and looked down the length of it each way, but no Connor. He was already gone.
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My anger toward Vail was reaching staggering heights. If I could, I'd have killed him with my bare hands. But that wasn't to be. I know one thing though. When we finally did get him, he was going down slowly and painfully. I wasn't sure what Faith thought about that, she was after all suddenly not a fan of torture. I did remember her reaction to the girl I stabbed. Of course that had been to get information. This? This was pure and simple revenge.
I got my gun out, ready to jump in if needed. But I could tell Faith had everything under control. Until Connor got away. I tried to stop him, but the boy was fast. Unnaturally so of course. A mere human was no match for him. I ran after Faith, out into the hallway, but it would appear the boy was long gone. He couldn't have gotten very far though. We owed it to Angel to make certain he was alright.
"We need to find him," I said grimly, stepping up beside Faith. "Vail," I growled. "He was the one who created the original memories. He was the one who made the fake ones and now he's done it again. Dammit." This might just set back our plans for god only knows how long. Our make shit home in Las Vegas suddenly seemed light-years away.
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"Connor can wait." I said, turning to Wesley but not really lookin' at him. Because Wes was the thing that was makin' me soft and I had to stop doin' that. I had to be hard again, I had to find a little piece of the girl that I used to be. The girl that kicked ass and took names and didn't let anyone hold her back. That was the girl who was gonna take down Vail, not this pussified puppy whipped version. "It's me he wants, so he'll come back."
Without lookin' at Wes I headed back into the room and ignored Noname's pleas and whines to be let out of his cage. Not now, no puppies, no Wes, no nothing except me and the kill. Heading towards the weapons trunk we had brought with us, I opened it up and started pilfering through all the goodies inside.
Could hear Wes following me back inside and I was sure he was confused. Well, I could unconfuse him pretty damn quickly.
"Find Willow. Get the spell together, or don't. Either way, Vail dies tonight." It wasn't a request, it wasn't really a demand either. It just was. I had to do this, and I had to do it now. Maybe I had to find Connor first, maybe I had to get back some of that rage. Whatever it takes.
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"The hell I will," I said coldly. Typical Faith. Jumping the gun, ready to die. It made me wonder if she had indeed lost that death-wish she had clutched onto to fiercely that night in the rain. It seemed so long ago most of the time. But at times like these? It seemed as though it was only yesterday.
I glanced over at Noname who was barking in his carrier. He was going to stay there. If Faith was so dead set on getting herself killed, she could do it alone. I had other duties and the only reason I *might* stop by Willow is to ask her to take care of the bloody dog. He didn't deserve any of this, he deserved better. Maybe Willow and this Kennedy girl could take care of him. This Kennedy seemed to like him.
"I failed Connor and Angel once before, Faith," I said, quickly gathering some weapons from the bag we'd taken with us. My gun was with me as usual of course. "I've debt to pay to both Angel and Connor. Angel would want me to look after his son, make certain his death was not in vain. Angel died because of his son, Faith. And I'm going to make damn sure he's alright, or going to be."
Snapping my gun from it's safety, I hid a sword beneath my coat and looked up at Faith again, before stepping toward the door. "Try not get yourself killed with your stubbornness," I muttered.
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"If you wanna run around and pull the babysit on the kid that's your call. I ain't gonna stop you." I said, matching his cold tone. If he wanted to run around after Connor that was fine, probably better that way. I didn't think the kid would really hurt Wes, he was way more focused on kickin' my ass. Probably better this way anyway, at least he'd be outta my way.
I glanced down at the carrier that had Noname yappin' away in it. Maybe Mom was right, never was supposed to have a puppy. Never was supposed to care this much about anything or anybody. Noname and Wes? They made me soft when I should be hard. Wesley couldn't understand this, he didn't have it in him.
"Angel died because some fuck decided to gang up on him like ten million to one. Now I'm gonna make sure the last man standin' is six feet under where he belongs. Don't you fucking tell me about debts, I know all about that." I hated when he got all fucking condescending like that with me. Because now that I was so fired up I was bound to take it out on him if he got in my way.
"Gotta do this." I mumbled as if it were an excuse as I headed to the door.
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Because I'm pretty sure Angel doesn't yet want to see her in hell.
"That's right Faith. Go out and get yourself killed. Go around and pretend that you were the only one Angel ever saves, ever gave a second chance." I remember well what it was like to get a second chance from Angel. Hell, I even know what it's like to get a third. He wiped out my memory not just because he wanted to give Connor a new live. But because he wanted me to forget as well. I'd have died for him, and he knew that. That is why he send me off with Faith.
I'm not as stupid as I look.
"Go on and pretend as though you're the only one who has every right for vengeance when you really don't. It wasn't *your* family he killed. It weren't *your* friends he took down. You didn't spend years with them, knowing them inside out, going through hell and back. You didn't see Angel go down the rocky road and climb back up again. All you noticed about that was that he'd not come by for some time. And after that he'd come by and pretend he was just fine. Yes, I do know about that, Faith. I was bloody there."
I walked past her toward the door and yanked it open before she could.
"You're going to get yourself killed Faith and you know it. It's a pity I wont be there to hear you explain to Angel why you are in hell and how you've left his son to his own devices. While you went out and gotten yourself killed to get revenge for Angel. That'll go over really well don't you think?"
Narrowing my eyes, I glanced over at Noname who was now quiet and looking at us with wide eyes. Damn. I'd best go ask Willow and that Kennedy girl to look after him until one of us gets back. If one of us gets back. Oh wait, why not let Faith do that. She's going there anyway to get her revenge.
"Ask Willow to take care of Noname when you get her for your revenge, will you? Thanks." Sliding the wrist sword under my sleeve and clicking it in place I walked through the door.
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He was right, it wasn't my family and friends that Angel sank the ship with. But Fred and Gunn and all those other people? They really didn't inspire the kind of blinding grief that Angel did. Angel himself was my only friend, my only family. And really? That was enough for me. Because it suddenly felt like abandonment, and I knew what I was doin'. Clinging to Wes because he was what was left standing, he was the only thing left. In that second, it felt more like a betrayal then anything else.
Wes brushed past me angrily and yanked the door open before tryin' to take the wind from my sails. He almost had too, tryin' to pretend that he understood and that I was actin' like a brat about it. Maybe I was, but he didn't understand, and he never ever would. He wanted to stay cooped up inside and play house with me while we looked through books while Vail is out there fucking with Angel's son's head!
Angrily I grabbed Wesley by the coat and pulled the door closed as I pushed him back inside angrily and slammed his back against the wall. Why was he so damn set on pushin' me right now? Didn't he know what I was, who I used to be? Had he forgotten the things I'd done to him and everyone else? Because that girl wasn't dead, she was still in here somewhere and right now I was thinkin' about doin' my best to find her. Because that girl woulda gone after Vail for sure, even if it killed her.
She was still me.
I glared at him with the rage of all of that and more but instead of the man who used to cower he only met my glare with an angry one of his own. Good. Get angry. It felt good, and the return on his end only fueled my own anger.
"Don't you fucking dare make this out like I don't give a shit about Connor! Connor was Angel's son and I'll be damned if I sit around and play house with you and a dog while we spend days going through books and playing with magick. See, Angel got that and you just don't. You don't fight with your nose pressed between pages, paper doesn't fix things! Killing the bad guy fixes things! So, ya know what? Maybe I will die. But you can bet your ass that Vail's comin' to hell with me. But I"m not gonna shut myself away in this room because you're too much of a coward to let me go out and be what I am. I'm a slayer, Wes! Look it up. We kill things- I'm sure you remember how good I was at that."
If he lashed out at me, I didn't know if I could stop myself from permanantly damaging him, and that thought scared me. Scared me and propelled me forward. I needed this.
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"You don't give a shit," I said, tiling my chin up to look straight at her. I wasn't yelling, unlike what she was doing. I hated yelling, it showed you were loosing control. "All you want is your revenge, I'm even doubting it's about Angel at this point. And for your information Faith? I wasn't stopping you, though you were probably to busy holding onto your rage to notice that or anything else for that matter," I said quietly. I jerked back from her, pulling myself out of her grip. Though, with some effort.
"I'm not sitting around in a room going through books. Though, that usually is the best way to get a good end result. *I* was about to go out and look after Angel. *You* were going out to get yourself killed. I don't see how that is shutting myself into a room." How dare she make it sound as though I was a coward. I've not been one for a very long time. If I were one? I'd never had stayed with Angel for as long as I did. I know that now.
"You're overestimating Vail again, Faith. You did that once before and he'd been very lenient then. Don't think for a moment he's going to do that again. But hey, suit yourself. And just because we shagged a few times and..." I blinked over at Noname and shook my head. "...both take care of a dog? Does not give you the right to talk to me that way. You've lost that right the moment you tied me to a chair and had your bit of fun."
Straightening my jacket, I narrowed my eyes at her. I didn't want her to die, but I wasn't in a position to stop her either. "Sometimes violence right away isn't the answer, Faith. Even Angel knew that." Well, in the end he did. And even then it took me some convincing to stop him from barging in. Him and Gunn both. Maybe that's what went wrong, maybe I wasn't there to calm then down and think things through.
Dammit.
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And he just had to bring up that. That thing that still slept like a ghost between the two of us. The night I'd lost control and beaten it into him, cut it into him, cursed it into him. All that pain, all that rage and neither of us would ever forget it. Why did he have to bring it up now though? Did he think it might help calm me down? Or was he hoping to wake up the sleeping beast inside of me? That girl would have skewered him by now and besides throwing him (not even that hard) up against the wall I hadn't laid a hand on him.
Sometimes I really hated bein' me.
Why couldn't he just believe? You know, have a little faith? Sounded cliche but even when the chips were down it was obvious that no one was gonna be on my side. Besides, I had a plan. A really shitty plan that would get me killed but I might as well take the demon that killed my best friend, my only friend, my family down to hell with me.
"That's the last time you ever get to hold that against me without a repeat session." I threatened him through clenched teeth as I balled up my hands into two small fists at my sides.
"Do whatever the fuck you want, I don't even care anymore." With that I was out the door, the sound of the slam echoing loudly in the hallway as I stormed down to the elevator. In the elevator before anyone could follow me and I was gone. Snatched the keys to the car too, Wes was gonna be pissed when he found out about that. Not that I cared anymore. Knew it was only a matter of time before Connor, Vail or both found me.
And that was exactly what I was bankin' on.
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