Love. Just a load of old wank.
TV does not get better than Tim's falling-out-of-love-is-like-masturbation speech.
"I just had a moment of clarity, you know? I woke up. It's like - you know when you're having an orgasm on your own, and you're lying on the sofa watching some porn movie you bought on a drunken lonely night in Soho, and you're lying there, and everything is really great. You're getting totally turned on by these absurdly graphic images, everything seems so right, and suddenly pfft! Bingo. You know, you wake up. And you're lying there, sweating, looking for the tissue which you just know is still in your pocket and the remote control which is somewhere on the floor, and it's like ... walking in on yourself. What are you doing? ... That's how I felt tonight, sitting here feeling my heart skip a beat every time the door opened, you know. Just, what are you doing."