(no subject)
I Lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. I screwed up and had every name ever called to me come to true slut, bitch, stupid and liar. I cheated on jake my bf and it was the bigest mistake of my life. I know how it feels to be cheated and I was so stupid to think I can do it to someone I cared so much about. I wish so badly that some where in his heart he can forgive me and I will do whatever it takes to be with him. I love him so much it hurts everytime he says he doesn't believe me. I can't believe I hurt him. What was i thinking?? no i wasn't thinking as usual. I want to change I hate the person I am. I want to treat jake the way he treated me. I want him to be my baby. I hate myself. I'm so stupid to bring julian alverez back into my life the guy who two timed me basically the 7 months we were going out. How can i even begin to talk to him. I just wanted to know what happened not a kiss. Jake was perfect and when things seem to go to perfect I'm not sure why I fuck it up and I don't want to anymore. I am going to change and be honest not lie to anyone including my parents. I will be who I've always wanted to be. I miss jake, I love jake and i know i'm not very good at showing it but if I didn't I wouldn't bother trying to get back with him. I want to be with him so badly. His laugh, his music which i learned more from than anyone, our inside jokes, his hair. I can go on and on. I'm willing to give up anything for him. I heard love is giving up something for that person and I will. I will give up anything for him. Something he doesn't approve on from now on its gone. If i can't get him back with and I've tryed all that I can and I'm not as convinceing as I wish I was then i hope he's happy with life later on. I just want u to know Jake I will always love you and i'm here for u . Please don't let go to fast I want to be with you forever.
here's some memories I will never forget and I hope we can carry on
I love you babe so much!!!!!!!!