Teamwork 17, HP/DM, PG-13, WIP

[gatewaygirl]

Title: Teamwork 17 -- Keeping Promises
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Canon Compliancy: Through Goblet of Fire
Snakes and Lions: Teamwork is the sequel to Snakes and Lions.
Notes: Thanks to sociofemme for beta work. (This chapter has not been Britpicked.)

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Comments

[lebannen]

Hello!

I'm afraid I am slightly drunk at this time. I read this earlier, when I was not drunk, and - while I do like this - noticed two picky little things that you might or might not care about:

Jack beans are totally American, I don't know if you wanted to give the impression of strange exotic imported things or not. I'd never heard of them before, and live in a household with much interest in gardening. Common beans here are broad beans and runner beans (this year, my sister is growing one and my mum the other).

This one's a boarding school things rather than a specifically British thing; there is no way Harry would have not recognised a third year Gryffindor. He's shared a common room and a dining table with her for two years. Hogwarts is not that big! It would be totally reasonable to get mixed up with people from another house - possibly knowing that one of them's Katie and one's Sara but not being quite sure unless you see them together - but given the closeness within each house at Hogwarts, you'd get to know your own house pretty quickly. As a first year, ok, it would take ages, but after that there are only ten or a dozen new people in your house each year. It's not hard. (I've seen this kind of thing in a few other places lately. the annoyance caused seems to have been cumulative, sorry).

[gatewaygirl]

Hi! Thanks for commenting.

As far as I know, there is no such thing as a "Jack bean". I was trying to evoke Jack and the Beanstalk -- that is, a "Jack bean" would be one that grew at a magical speed, though not to match the fairy tale, and it would add a growth element to the potion.

I can see what you mean about the boarding school thing, but I'm not entirely sure you're right. I went to a mixed boarder/day school of about 300 kids, and while I was a boarder for only a little while (due to being temporarily without a place to live), I can certainly imagine finding someone that much younger only vaguely familiar. Granted, I'm unusually bad with faces (I'm still learning names of people I've worked with for six or seven years, including individuals that I have a pretty good sense of) but Harry strikes me as someone who focuses on his friends and enemies, and is pretty oblivious to everyone else until he has a reason to think about people. (In canon, he seems to become better at that once they form the D.A.)

Hm.... Looking back, I think it may not come across that "I'm Harry; who are you?" is not entirely serious, but more a pointed response to the "sir". I was thinking of her as someone he would definitely recognize as a housemate if he ran into her in the hallway, but hadn't bothered to learn the name of. Perhaps I should tweak that. Would this work better for you?

"Harry, sir?" Harry looked over quickly, and realized he was frowning when a young girl stepped back in alarm. He was fairly sure she was a third year, despite her small size, but he couldn't remember her name.

"Sir?" he said incredulously, letting the source of his displeasure be known. Deliberately, he smiled. "I'm Harry," he said pointedly, "who are you?"

She swallowed. "Um, I'm Katherine, Katherine McDuffie, third year. M'brother Robbie was talking to a Slytherin yesterday, and he said that you said that was okay."

Is that any less jarring for you?