Kids

[gateruner]

I don't get it. I REALLY don't get it. I am trying to adapt to this creature that is living in my house now. A fifteen-year-old boy with major moodiness and brooding. It is beyond me how to live with this thing my son has become

Comments

[huntersglenn]

I haven't been there, done that, but Greg has (he's the computer guy in our house, and it was his job, too). How well I remember those arguments! The upside is that now that the boys are older, they will actually seek out their father for computer advice and help.

Teens, especially boys, are in a zone where they still crave the attention of being a 'child', but want to be taken seriously as an 'adult'. They want to be treated like an adult, but don't always understand what that means. Yours is probably thinking that an adult would be able to "fix" his computer if the tech person tells them what to do. Happens on help lines all the time. He doesn't realize the number of times that the in-house help desk call ends up with having a tech going out to the computer, moving the person out of the way and working on it right there. Or, bringing a temporary one out and taking that one back to the IT area to work on it. And he was probably ashamed to admit that his regular log in got so jacked up, because you've probably warned him a ton about that. Paul told me the other day that he won't check his checking account online, because he doesn't trust it. Not that he doesn't trust the bank, or the internet. he doesn't trust his own computer because he knows he visits sites that might be dumping stuff into his computer. But, he will come over here to check it, because his knows we're better than he is on avoiding nasty sites. What he doesn't realize is that sometimes nasty stuff is on the decent sites, too, and it's having a good fire wall and anti-virus stuff that'll make life easier.

The terrible twos are nothing compared to the teen years. If you wake them up for school, then you're babying them. Let them get up on their own and they end up running late, and it's your fault for not making sure they were up on time.

And no, it's not really any better or worse when it's two of them in those teen years at the same time. But, since the younger one was able to see his brother in action before he ever reached his teens, it wasn't quite as bad with him. But, he was still a normal male teenager. And yes, it IS a miracle that they live to adulthood.

Hang in there!

[gateruner]

Thanks! I can't get Carter to understand any of that, esp about the computer security. He always argues that he's got the antivirus and such. I have tried to use every metaphor that I can think of to explain it to him.

You have a security system in your house and give someone the code. What good does the security system do if you give out the code or the key? I figured that one would work, but no luck. It's only as secure as you allow it to be. You download something and tell the computer it's ok to do so then you've invited it in. I don't know how many other ways to say it.

I just hope I survive this!

[huntersglenn]

You will. There will be many fights, much shouting, lots of tears (on both parts, but he's going to try his hardest to never let you see him crying). He'll refer to you by many bad names, and if you're lucky (and he's luckier), he'll never say them directly to your face. In my case, the name calling happened when my oldest was doing his Eagle Project, and I was the adult who had to keep him on schedule, as he was 17 at the time. I overheard him more than once telling Greg what a royal bitch I was (grin). But, as long as he wasn't saying it to my face, I let it go. Don't get me wrong - it hurt. It hurt a lot. And to this day he's the one who knows just what buttons to push to get me angry and defensive, just as I know his. My relationship with my youngest is a lot smoother, but I'll bet you couldn't tell that from the way the oldest and I were when we went to the oceanfront. When we're getting along, we get along wonderfully (grin). When we don't...

[gateruner]

It's almost a fight every time we talk now. Ugh. I can't wait until he's older. :)