Galaxy Angel Episode 12: Fried Picnic Cat with Mice Garnish
WHO: Dizzy, Uryuu Ishida, Forte Stollen, Milfeulle Sakuraba
WHAT: Some lost Galaxy Angels discover a few friends, and they decide to go for a picnic. Also some other stuff happens.
WHEN: Yesterday night
WHERE: Just outside the Relief Society Community Center.
WATCH FOR: Necro and Undine urging Dizzy to flee the approach of the Galaxy Angels (particularly Milfeulle). Undine crying tears of snowflakes, and Necro being all like "NO NO DON'T SHE DONE CRAZY"! ... But of course Dizzy doesn't listen. Also: Forte speculating how Ichigo Kurosaki managed to recruit Ishida.
Making up for lost time. It's almost a cliche, really, but that's what Dizzy's trying to do. Time to go out on the town with Uryuu, after a month and a half of his absence! Thus we can find the two walking through the streets of the Hub, with her securely latched to his arm, making sure that he doesn't disappear.
Okay, perhaps that's a slight exaggeration: she trusts him, and thus does not have him in a death grip. But she does have her arm looped through his, and sneaks glances at him pretty regularly. Whenever he might catch those, she just giggles and blushes a little bit.
"So, where do you want to go, Uryuu?" she asks, eventually, surveying the wide variety of cafes and such that beckon to the pair. And don't worry! The two of them have spent quite a bit of time alone together: they're going out to be amongst other people too. So don't let the lovey-dovey atmosphere drive you off.
For sure, tonight is the night. They can feel it coming in the air tonight. Oh Lord! And they've been waiting for this moment, for all of their lives. Patrick, Jonathan, and Gasteau stand amidst a group of men locking and loading their various forms of weaponry. "The Nezu-Nezu Gang has been a thorn in our side long enough!" Patrick announces. "And it's time they got theirs!" He clenches a fist. "Now let's go out there and show what the Neko-Neko Gang can do!"
On the other side of the streets of the Hub, similar looking men stand before a group of guys wearing Mouse masks. "Those Neko-Neko guys are a bunch of JERKS!" announces Rico, the leader (and former Zentraedi spy). His partners, Bron and Konda, flank him at each side. "Now let's show those Neko-Neko guys just how loud these mice can ROAR!" There's much cheering and applause.
On opposite sides of the street, rival factions suit up, gear up, and march out. Heading to the South Side. Weapons in hand, they go for a ride. ... Except for the ones who are walking. No quarter will be asked! None will be given! It's Neko-Neko and Nezu-Nezu in a fight to the death, for control of the streets of the Hub, once and for all!
Which then brings us to the middle of said street, quite possibly at ground zero, where Milfeulle is holding a map, Chitose Karasuma hopping up and down to try and get a glimpse over her shoulder. "Admit it, Milfeulle-SAN!" declares Chitose, pointing a trembling finger. "We're lost! And YOU'RE to blame!" Forte might be along as well of course! Leading the charge into the unknown. Being unknown of course because Milfeulle and Chitose don't know where they are.
"Hee hee hee," says Milfeulle, bonking herself on the head. "I guess I am! All these huge streets and buildings! What a neat adventure we're having!"
Chitose merely smacks herself on the head. "This is NOT an adventure! This is a nuisance!"
But Milfeulle is already lost, her eyes going starry. In her own mind, a pith helmet is on her head as she points a finger. "You're right, Chitose-san! I /am. the bravest explorer ever known. But I can't get overconfident! The urban jungle is every bit as dangerous as its... uh... JUNGULAR counterpart, hee hee..."
Yes, Forte is here! In a rare opportunity to flash her civilian garb, she ditched the longcoat and hat for her hoodie. All the better to look inconspicious here in the heart of the city.
Or rather she would if Chitose wasn't busy spazzing over Milfeulle's shoulder. The elder Angel facepalms and reaches ina pocket for her handy mini-GPS unit. "We're not lost. We're right here," she points to the map on the screen, complete with a flashing NORMAD head to show right where they are. "Besides, its the Hub, there's nothing to worry about! Its a strict no-fighting zone," she points out again by pointing to the X'd out Street Fighter logo in the corner of the screen. "So relax and enjoy the trip! Its not every day we get a chance to get out and explore off-duty!"
At the moment, Uryuu Ishida is completely and totally oblivious to the chaos that appears to be gathering. And being as caught up in Dizzy as he is, the Quincy is also unaware of the subset of Galaxy Angels that aren't too far away... But there will be time for the above matters to invade his peaceful state of mind.
For now, Uryuu is contentedly walking down the street with his lovely girlfriend. "Hmm..." he says, in response to her question. "It is a lovely day... Perhaps we could pick up box lunches, and spend the afternoon in a park? I believe there's a nice one not far from here..." A nice meal and good scenery with Dizzy. Whatever could be wrong with that?
You'd think he would have learned, by now.
It is only a few seconds that Dizzy hears a familiar voice. It takes a few moments for her mind to twig to it, though, as it has been a while. "That sounds like...Miss Sakuraba," she says, looking around curiously, before her eyes settle on the pink-haired vortex of ill probabilities. Of course, it helps that the towering Amazon presence of Forte is there to draw the eye as well. "And Miss Stollen, and...another friend," she says, not recognizing Chitose.
She looks at Ishida. "Have you met them?" she says, trying to think back, and gently tugging her boyfriend in their direction. Despite the mental yammerings of Necro going NO NO DON'T SHE DONE CRAZY it would be wonderful to meet up with her again, really! "We can have a picnic with them."
Within, Undine isn't even trying to argue. She's just sobbing tears of real snowflakes. And that's without noticing the two gangs who are going to attempt to rumble nearby: she'd just be gibbering if she knew about that.
"So guys," says Konda, as they sit in the back of the van, securing their nezumi masks. "Back when we were warriors for the Zentraedi - did you ever imagine even once that one day we'd be sitting in the back of the van, wearing giant mice masks, about to create a major civic disturbance with a rival gang who dress in cat masks over mere scraps of territory we can only manage outside the watchful eye of the local law enforcement?"
There's a moment of silence. Rico shakes his head. Bron, however, scratches his neck reflexively. "I had a vague idea," he says. "I mean... I always thought, SOMEDAY, I'd like to fight a senseless street battle in the name of an inoffensive household pest. And, well, here we are."
There's a moment as everyone stares at him. "... No, no, I'm kidding," he says, staring back. "Of course I'm kidding. What kind of a dumb question was that anyway?!"
In the rival truck, Patrick, Jonathan and Gasteau (who coincidentally are just about dead ringers for the Nezu leaders) experience a moment of silence of their own. "So guys," says Jonathan. "Who wants to sing a song? I'll start us off. Here's a song about life on the street! o/~ 'All right STOP! Collaborate and listen / Ice is back with my brand new invention...'" He looks around for someone to take over, but is greeted with dead silence.
Until Patrick whaps him upside the head. "Moron!"
Meanwhile, Milfeulle's mouth opens wide. "Forte-san, Chitose-san! It's Dizzy, from the Reliquary... er, Relegate... um... you know, those nice people who had the cooking contest. Hi Dizzy! Oh, and it's Mr. Open Mic Man!" She runs up to meet Dizzy and Ishida halfway, holding her map. "Chitose-san thinks we're lost, but how can we be lost if we run into someone we know?" She presses on despite the bewildering leap in logic, as Chitose walks up behind her. "Dizzy-san, you remember Forte-san! Like she says, we're taking some free time to explore. And this is my super-duper friend, Karasuma Chitose, of the Twin Star Brigade!"
Chitose visibly winces, grimacing and facepalming as Milfeulle refers to her as a friend. "Don't say that so loud," she whines, before looking up wanly and facing the two lovebirds, snapping off a crisp salute. "First Lieutenant Karasuma Chitose of the Twin Star Brigade, Transbaal Space Army." She sounds immensely pleased with herself just by giving her name and rank. "We're the unit responsible for locating and securing the Lost Technology of the Gate Builders and other previous interstellar civilizations. Only, we're not a hapless public relations unit the Army keeps around for name recognition like the Angels, or to foist off on less, ah, organized governments like the IPA in order to appease our minimum associate membership requirements and maintain gate access."
Milfeulle smiles and nods agreeably. "Whatever she said!"
"No, I'm pretty sure your unit involved Major Mary and some incriminating photographs with members of the high command," Forte mentions all too casually. "Hi Dizzy, hi... Ishida? I'm not sure if we met," she strokes her chin while eyeing the arm-in-arm action. Dizzy's got a boytoy! A skinny nerdy one at that. "I'm Forte, from the Angel Brigade." She's off-duty so she doesn't have to worry about rank.
Then it hits her. "Wait, I think I've heard you on the radio. You're with the IPA too, aren't you? One of that Kurosaki kid's friends." She peers in suspiciously, "You always did sound a little too clean to be running with a delinquent like him. How did he press you into his gang? Atomic wedgie? Purple nurple? Hold your homework hostage?"
At Dizzy's exclamation, Uryuu glances over toward the trio nearby. "Ah, yes, I don't believe I've met the others yet, but I remember Miss Sakuraba," he says. The memories are a bit... bizarre, but he has not yet experienced the /true/ horror of Milfeulle. So he says, "That sounds nice. Shall we?" And indeed they shall.
Milfeulle's nickname earns a chuckle, and Uryuu bows slightly, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "That's right, Miss Sakuraba. It's a pleasure to see you again, and to meet you, Miss Karasuma and Miss Stollen..." Chitose sounds like a focused, business-like type, so the Quincy expects they'll get along well enough. Forte, on the other hand, is rather more forward than Uryuu expects, and he reddens a bit at her questioning. "Ah -- I am /certainly/ not a member of Kurosaki's 'gang'. We have merely fought on the same side, on occasion." He coughs and offers another full bow. "Uryuu Ishida, of the Relief Society and IPA."
Wherever you go, there you are. This is probably especially true in Milfie's case, really, given her unconscious ability to bend time and space just by walking around. At any rate, Dizzy is indeed here, to be found by these lost souls. "Relief Society," she says with a light giggle at Milfie's manglings. "Hello again, Miss Stollen. And hi, Miss Chitose...or is that Miss Karasuma?" She is getting a much better handle on Japanese, but names continue to puzzle her a little bit. "It's nice to meet you. I'm...just Dizzy."
No rank, no last name. No titles, unless you want to call her 'Queen of Gears' or 'Commander Gear'. Which is probably best left alone, aheh.
She nods readily at the description of the Angel Brigade, dimly remembering something along those lines when she first met the others. Then she pauses, glancing over at Ishida, then giggles. "Mister Kurosaki is not as rough as he sounds," she says diplomatically. "He is somewhat abrasive, but at heart, he's a good guy. And Uryuu's also a very good guy." The look was, after all, quite fond.
And why is Dizzy not in the IPA? Well...there's that bit about being a pirate in her home world, benevolent pirates they may be. "Would you like to join us for a picnic?"
Cats and mice. Mice and cats. An eternal story is about to play out on the mean streets of the Hub. Destiny rides on mag wheels with 26 inch rims, engines roaring, torque torqueing! It's the fight of their lives, and they're there to win!
Meanwhile, Milfeulle. "Did somebody say a picnic?" Milfeulle asks, eyes wide, forgetting any further pleasantries.
Meanwhile, Chitose. "Did I hear something about a picnic?" Chitose asks as well, ears perking up, before she remembers herself and clears her throat. "That is, we certainly don't wish to put you to any trouble. Perhaps a, a nibble or two. Oh, and you may call me 'Lieutenant'," she says for Dizzy's benefit. Also she seems to have little trouble accepting the invitation on the group's behalf, as opposed to field commander Forte.
Meanwhile, the Nezu-Nezu gang. "This one's for Miss Minmei!" shouts Rico, as the street of destiny comes into sight.
Meanwhile, the Neko-Neko gang. "Revenge will be ours!" declares Patrick, shaking a fist.
Meanwhile, Apricot Sakuraba, far away on Planet Celldar. "What do you mean - you're out of CUSTARD?" she wails at the vendor, mugging the screen, fists to her cheeks.
Meanwhile - Honey Kisaragi, eating a rice ball in mid-chew. "Eh?"
Meanwhile, Becky Miyamoto, in mid-teach. "GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!" she growls at the camera, which runs over Mesousa in its haste to vacate.
AND THEN! DESTINY ARRIVES! A fleet of vans, cars, bicycles, and mopeds from both ends of the street speed into view, engines roaring! Gang members wave chains, knives, broken bottles, Sanrio figures! One side has cat masks, the other, mouse masks! Milfeulle has just enough time to blink her eyes. "Oh look!" she says, pointing. "It's the Nekosans! And HOW CUTE! They've brought some Nezumi-sans to play with them!"
The vans, cars, bikes, vehicles all screech to a halt, Milfeulle, Dizzy, Ishida, Forte and Chitose standing between the two rival forces!
AND AT THAT VERY MOMENT! Grey-green sludge erupts out of nearby manhole covers, amid the sounds of laughter! "HA HA HA HA!" a voice comes from everywhere. "I, Pharaoh Binghotep, hereby claim this city for EGYPT! Now BRING ON THE WHORES! HA HA HA!" A face slowly defines itself out of the roiling sludge, wearing the crown of the Two Kingdoms and a long goatee. Along with an evil smirk.
Crawling out from the manhole behind him, her uniform covered with stains, pink hair bedraggled and frizzy, is none other than Grand Admiral of the Imperial Fleet, Milfeulle Sakuraba. The Milfeulle from the Possible Future Where Milfeulle Becomes a Model Officer! "Milfeulle," she declares, staggering to her feet and pointing to Milfeulle, the regular Milfeulle, who smiles widely and waves.
"Grandma!" chirps the younger Milfie.
"NO I'M NOT YOUR GRANDMA! I've just spent a month as the trophy wife of an undead Egyptian pharaoh made out of liquified chocolate parsley! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
And SUDDENLY! AT THAT VERY MOMENT! A golden light appears in the middle of the street, out of which walks none other than HARD DRINKIN' HONEST ABE LINCOLN, President of the United States! "Milfeulle Sakuraba!" he shouts, pointing at old Milfeulle. "I've found you this time for SURE! We've got to get going, the Illuminati is about to blow up Lemuria!" Without listening to any of the older Milfeulle's protests, he turns back toward the golden light, pausing briefly upon catching sight of Forte. "Oh, hey Forte! Can't talk now. The space/time whatchamadoohickey needs saving again. But let's belly up to the bar for some good old fashioned Kentucky Rocket Bourbon next time I'm in town!" He tips his hat to the Angel Commander, before jumping back through the temporal gateway.
"MILFEULLE!" screams the Grand Admiral as she gets dragged through. "You haven't seen the last of MEEEEEE!"
As they vanish, so does the gateway, disappearing with a *SHOOP*.
A moment passes. And then:
"Son of a BITCH!" roars the giant ooze, the Egyptian face contorting into blinding rage. "He STOLE my ARM CANDY! DAMN YOU LINCOLN! I'll get you for this someday! ARRRRRRGH!" With a roar of rage, the ooze explodes in size, growing tentacles everywhere, before exploding down through the manholes under the street again, dragging dozens of Nekos and Nezus in his wake. There's a quick tremor. And then all is silent once again.
Only Rico, Bron and Konda are left of the Nezumis; only Patrick, Jonathan and Gasteau are left among the Nekos. They stare at each other. "Truce?" Rico asks after a second.
There's a pause. "NEVER!" roars Patrick, jumping at his rival, at which point they commence to beating each other with their bare hands while the other four stand around confusedly.
"You guys want to go with us on a picnic?" Milfeulle asks them cheerfully, quite unmoved by the spectacle. "Oh Dizzy! Do you have potato salad? I love potato salad. Mmmm....."
Forte's sole response? She salutes the Hardest Drinkin' Representative Illinois Ever Had. "You're on, Mr. President. Just keep that Booth guy away from my gun collection, I swear that look he's been giving my favorite Derringers is way too unhealthy for a grown actor his age."
And then, its back to normal, as if nothing has happened. "A picnic sounds good! Did anybody remember to pack the sake?"
Uryuu has just lifted a finger and begun to speak, when the two gangs screech into position and the altercation begins. And at the end of it, the Quincy holds his position, finger raised and mouth slightly open. As the dust clears, he pauses, lowering his hand, then breathes in and attempts to say something about what just happened.
Silence, and another pause. Uryuu tries one more time.
Again, no words come. Uryuu gives up. "Shall we pick up a tablecloth and picnic food, then?" he asks, running a hand through his hair as he starts toward a home supply retailer.
Something happened just now. Dizzy is sure of it.
Only her brain refuses to parse it all, in its entirety. Necro and Undine aren't telling, either; no, they're just kind of frozen in the back corner of her mind, mentally curled up in the fetal position, not making any sound at all. She takes a few moments to look around the street: there was...gray, and sand, and another Milfeuille, very briefly.... Also some gang members pounding on each other and probably about to be 'escorted' away very quickly.
She finally gives up on that all as a bad idea and smiles a bit unsteadily. Yes, now she remembers why she didn't go seeking out the Angel Brigade too hard. "Potato salad sounds wonderful," she manages after finding her voice again. She smiles a bit at Chitose and Forte. Ah, good thing that they aren't so put off by such things. "Oh, I'm sorry, Lieutenant Karasuma," she says, correcting her terms of address. "Um. Yes, let's do that," she finishes off, nodding to her boyfriend. Whatever it takes to leave...whatever it was that just happened behind. Indeed. "Anything else you have in mind?"
Yes. Talk about food. It's easier on the brain.
Bron, Konda, Jonathan and Gasteau all turn to Dizzy and Uryuu, excitement - not to mention hunger - writ large on their faces. "We'd love to go on a picnic!" says Konda, looking hopeful. "We're really hungry. Gang food is terrible! We've eaten RATS! And that's not cool, considering we're the Nezumi gang!"
Milfeulle also turns to address Chitose. "Won't this be fun? Dizzy's a great cook. She baked a cake the first time we met, and it didn't blow up! ... Chitose-san?" She looks around curiously. Somewhere, somehow, Chitose Karasuma was lost in the confusion. Milfeulle decides she's probably off in the sewers somewhere suffering the anger of Binghotep! Horrible! Poor Chitose! But oh well. Milfeulle's about to be fed! "Oh, she just wandered off. Maybe she got so hungry with us talking about food that she had to get a snack! She can catch up with us later."
Meanwhile, one-hundred-thousand years in the past, Abraham Lincoln makes a terrible discovery. Once AGAIN, he failed to retrieve the Lucky One. Lemuria's explosion could be seen from space! BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"Okay, it blew up!" grunts Chitose, adrift in the middle of the Indian Ocean, holding onto the same driftwood as Admiral Sakuraba and President Lincoln. "Can we go home now...?"
"YOU IDIOT!" roars Admiral Sakuraba to the 16th President of the United States. "If I was one of YOUR admirals I'd depose you in a military coup and have you hanged! ... Hung! Hang...ered. Okay, I mean SHOT! Yeah! Down in the basement, double tap in the back of the head!" Chitose looks at the Admiral with open admiration, hearts in her eyes.
And I thought Farragut was a hardass, Abe Lincoln thinks to himself. Aloud, he sighs. "Well, that's twice I've lost a major landmass. The Time Authority's not going to be happy about THIS..."
Back in the present, Milfeulle raises a hand. "I vote we get out of here and head for the nearest picnic table! I mean, gangs? Pharaohs? Historical figures? I never knew the Hub was such a dangerous neighborhood!"
~fin~
See you next time!
WHAT: Some lost Galaxy Angels discover a few friends, and they decide to go for a picnic. Also some other stuff happens.
WHEN: Yesterday night
WHERE: Just outside the Relief Society Community Center.
WATCH FOR: Necro and Undine urging Dizzy to flee the approach of the Galaxy Angels (particularly Milfeulle). Undine crying tears of snowflakes, and Necro being all like "NO NO DON'T SHE DONE CRAZY"! ... But of course Dizzy doesn't listen. Also: Forte speculating how Ichigo Kurosaki managed to recruit Ishida.
Making up for lost time. It's almost a cliche, really, but that's what Dizzy's trying to do. Time to go out on the town with Uryuu, after a month and a half of his absence! Thus we can find the two walking through the streets of the Hub, with her securely latched to his arm, making sure that he doesn't disappear.
Okay, perhaps that's a slight exaggeration: she trusts him, and thus does not have him in a death grip. But she does have her arm looped through his, and sneaks glances at him pretty regularly. Whenever he might catch those, she just giggles and blushes a little bit.
"So, where do you want to go, Uryuu?" she asks, eventually, surveying the wide variety of cafes and such that beckon to the pair. And don't worry! The two of them have spent quite a bit of time alone together: they're going out to be amongst other people too. So don't let the lovey-dovey atmosphere drive you off.
For sure, tonight is the night. They can feel it coming in the air tonight. Oh Lord! And they've been waiting for this moment, for all of their lives. Patrick, Jonathan, and Gasteau stand amidst a group of men locking and loading their various forms of weaponry. "The Nezu-Nezu Gang has been a thorn in our side long enough!" Patrick announces. "And it's time they got theirs!" He clenches a fist. "Now let's go out there and show what the Neko-Neko Gang can do!"
On the other side of the streets of the Hub, similar looking men stand before a group of guys wearing Mouse masks. "Those Neko-Neko guys are a bunch of JERKS!" announces Rico, the leader (and former Zentraedi spy). His partners, Bron and Konda, flank him at each side. "Now let's show those Neko-Neko guys just how loud these mice can ROAR!" There's much cheering and applause.
On opposite sides of the street, rival factions suit up, gear up, and march out. Heading to the South Side. Weapons in hand, they go for a ride. ... Except for the ones who are walking. No quarter will be asked! None will be given! It's Neko-Neko and Nezu-Nezu in a fight to the death, for control of the streets of the Hub, once and for all!
Which then brings us to the middle of said street, quite possibly at ground zero, where Milfeulle is holding a map, Chitose Karasuma hopping up and down to try and get a glimpse over her shoulder. "Admit it, Milfeulle-SAN!" declares Chitose, pointing a trembling finger. "We're lost! And YOU'RE to blame!" Forte might be along as well of course! Leading the charge into the unknown. Being unknown of course because Milfeulle and Chitose don't know where they are.
"Hee hee hee," says Milfeulle, bonking herself on the head. "I guess I am! All these huge streets and buildings! What a neat adventure we're having!"
Chitose merely smacks herself on the head. "This is NOT an adventure! This is a nuisance!"
But Milfeulle is already lost, her eyes going starry. In her own mind, a pith helmet is on her head as she points a finger. "You're right, Chitose-san! I /am. the bravest explorer ever known. But I can't get overconfident! The urban jungle is every bit as dangerous as its... uh... JUNGULAR counterpart, hee hee..."
Yes, Forte is here! In a rare opportunity to flash her civilian garb, she ditched the longcoat and hat for her hoodie. All the better to look inconspicious here in the heart of the city.
Or rather she would if Chitose wasn't busy spazzing over Milfeulle's shoulder. The elder Angel facepalms and reaches ina pocket for her handy mini-GPS unit. "We're not lost. We're right here," she points to the map on the screen, complete with a flashing NORMAD head to show right where they are. "Besides, its the Hub, there's nothing to worry about! Its a strict no-fighting zone," she points out again by pointing to the X'd out Street Fighter logo in the corner of the screen. "So relax and enjoy the trip! Its not every day we get a chance to get out and explore off-duty!"
At the moment, Uryuu Ishida is completely and totally oblivious to the chaos that appears to be gathering. And being as caught up in Dizzy as he is, the Quincy is also unaware of the subset of Galaxy Angels that aren't too far away... But there will be time for the above matters to invade his peaceful state of mind.
For now, Uryuu is contentedly walking down the street with his lovely girlfriend. "Hmm..." he says, in response to her question. "It is a lovely day... Perhaps we could pick up box lunches, and spend the afternoon in a park? I believe there's a nice one not far from here..." A nice meal and good scenery with Dizzy. Whatever could be wrong with that?
You'd think he would have learned, by now.
It is only a few seconds that Dizzy hears a familiar voice. It takes a few moments for her mind to twig to it, though, as it has been a while. "That sounds like...Miss Sakuraba," she says, looking around curiously, before her eyes settle on the pink-haired vortex of ill probabilities. Of course, it helps that the towering Amazon presence of Forte is there to draw the eye as well. "And Miss Stollen, and...another friend," she says, not recognizing Chitose.
She looks at Ishida. "Have you met them?" she says, trying to think back, and gently tugging her boyfriend in their direction. Despite the mental yammerings of Necro going NO NO DON'T SHE DONE CRAZY it would be wonderful to meet up with her again, really! "We can have a picnic with them."
Within, Undine isn't even trying to argue. She's just sobbing tears of real snowflakes. And that's without noticing the two gangs who are going to attempt to rumble nearby: she'd just be gibbering if she knew about that.
"So guys," says Konda, as they sit in the back of the van, securing their nezumi masks. "Back when we were warriors for the Zentraedi - did you ever imagine even once that one day we'd be sitting in the back of the van, wearing giant mice masks, about to create a major civic disturbance with a rival gang who dress in cat masks over mere scraps of territory we can only manage outside the watchful eye of the local law enforcement?"
There's a moment of silence. Rico shakes his head. Bron, however, scratches his neck reflexively. "I had a vague idea," he says. "I mean... I always thought, SOMEDAY, I'd like to fight a senseless street battle in the name of an inoffensive household pest. And, well, here we are."
There's a moment as everyone stares at him. "... No, no, I'm kidding," he says, staring back. "Of course I'm kidding. What kind of a dumb question was that anyway?!"
In the rival truck, Patrick, Jonathan and Gasteau (who coincidentally are just about dead ringers for the Nezu leaders) experience a moment of silence of their own. "So guys," says Jonathan. "Who wants to sing a song? I'll start us off. Here's a song about life on the street! o/~ 'All right STOP! Collaborate and listen / Ice is back with my brand new invention...'" He looks around for someone to take over, but is greeted with dead silence.
Until Patrick whaps him upside the head. "Moron!"
Meanwhile, Milfeulle's mouth opens wide. "Forte-san, Chitose-san! It's Dizzy, from the Reliquary... er, Relegate... um... you know, those nice people who had the cooking contest. Hi Dizzy! Oh, and it's Mr. Open Mic Man!" She runs up to meet Dizzy and Ishida halfway, holding her map. "Chitose-san thinks we're lost, but how can we be lost if we run into someone we know?" She presses on despite the bewildering leap in logic, as Chitose walks up behind her. "Dizzy-san, you remember Forte-san! Like she says, we're taking some free time to explore. And this is my super-duper friend, Karasuma Chitose, of the Twin Star Brigade!"
Chitose visibly winces, grimacing and facepalming as Milfeulle refers to her as a friend. "Don't say that so loud," she whines, before looking up wanly and facing the two lovebirds, snapping off a crisp salute. "First Lieutenant Karasuma Chitose of the Twin Star Brigade, Transbaal Space Army." She sounds immensely pleased with herself just by giving her name and rank. "We're the unit responsible for locating and securing the Lost Technology of the Gate Builders and other previous interstellar civilizations. Only, we're not a hapless public relations unit the Army keeps around for name recognition like the Angels, or to foist off on less, ah, organized governments like the IPA in order to appease our minimum associate membership requirements and maintain gate access."
Milfeulle smiles and nods agreeably. "Whatever she said!"
"No, I'm pretty sure your unit involved Major Mary and some incriminating photographs with members of the high command," Forte mentions all too casually. "Hi Dizzy, hi... Ishida? I'm not sure if we met," she strokes her chin while eyeing the arm-in-arm action. Dizzy's got a boytoy! A skinny nerdy one at that. "I'm Forte, from the Angel Brigade." She's off-duty so she doesn't have to worry about rank.
Then it hits her. "Wait, I think I've heard you on the radio. You're with the IPA too, aren't you? One of that Kurosaki kid's friends." She peers in suspiciously, "You always did sound a little too clean to be running with a delinquent like him. How did he press you into his gang? Atomic wedgie? Purple nurple? Hold your homework hostage?"
At Dizzy's exclamation, Uryuu glances over toward the trio nearby. "Ah, yes, I don't believe I've met the others yet, but I remember Miss Sakuraba," he says. The memories are a bit... bizarre, but he has not yet experienced the /true/ horror of Milfeulle. So he says, "That sounds nice. Shall we?" And indeed they shall.
Milfeulle's nickname earns a chuckle, and Uryuu bows slightly, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "That's right, Miss Sakuraba. It's a pleasure to see you again, and to meet you, Miss Karasuma and Miss Stollen..." Chitose sounds like a focused, business-like type, so the Quincy expects they'll get along well enough. Forte, on the other hand, is rather more forward than Uryuu expects, and he reddens a bit at her questioning. "Ah -- I am /certainly/ not a member of Kurosaki's 'gang'. We have merely fought on the same side, on occasion." He coughs and offers another full bow. "Uryuu Ishida, of the Relief Society and IPA."
Wherever you go, there you are. This is probably especially true in Milfie's case, really, given her unconscious ability to bend time and space just by walking around. At any rate, Dizzy is indeed here, to be found by these lost souls. "Relief Society," she says with a light giggle at Milfie's manglings. "Hello again, Miss Stollen. And hi, Miss Chitose...or is that Miss Karasuma?" She is getting a much better handle on Japanese, but names continue to puzzle her a little bit. "It's nice to meet you. I'm...just Dizzy."
No rank, no last name. No titles, unless you want to call her 'Queen of Gears' or 'Commander Gear'. Which is probably best left alone, aheh.
She nods readily at the description of the Angel Brigade, dimly remembering something along those lines when she first met the others. Then she pauses, glancing over at Ishida, then giggles. "Mister Kurosaki is not as rough as he sounds," she says diplomatically. "He is somewhat abrasive, but at heart, he's a good guy. And Uryuu's also a very good guy." The look was, after all, quite fond.
And why is Dizzy not in the IPA? Well...there's that bit about being a pirate in her home world, benevolent pirates they may be. "Would you like to join us for a picnic?"
Cats and mice. Mice and cats. An eternal story is about to play out on the mean streets of the Hub. Destiny rides on mag wheels with 26 inch rims, engines roaring, torque torqueing! It's the fight of their lives, and they're there to win!
Meanwhile, Milfeulle. "Did somebody say a picnic?" Milfeulle asks, eyes wide, forgetting any further pleasantries.
Meanwhile, Chitose. "Did I hear something about a picnic?" Chitose asks as well, ears perking up, before she remembers herself and clears her throat. "That is, we certainly don't wish to put you to any trouble. Perhaps a, a nibble or two. Oh, and you may call me 'Lieutenant'," she says for Dizzy's benefit. Also she seems to have little trouble accepting the invitation on the group's behalf, as opposed to field commander Forte.
Meanwhile, the Nezu-Nezu gang. "This one's for Miss Minmei!" shouts Rico, as the street of destiny comes into sight.
Meanwhile, the Neko-Neko gang. "Revenge will be ours!" declares Patrick, shaking a fist.
Meanwhile, Apricot Sakuraba, far away on Planet Celldar. "What do you mean - you're out of CUSTARD?" she wails at the vendor, mugging the screen, fists to her cheeks.
Meanwhile - Honey Kisaragi, eating a rice ball in mid-chew. "Eh?"
Meanwhile, Becky Miyamoto, in mid-teach. "GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!" she growls at the camera, which runs over Mesousa in its haste to vacate.
AND THEN! DESTINY ARRIVES! A fleet of vans, cars, bicycles, and mopeds from both ends of the street speed into view, engines roaring! Gang members wave chains, knives, broken bottles, Sanrio figures! One side has cat masks, the other, mouse masks! Milfeulle has just enough time to blink her eyes. "Oh look!" she says, pointing. "It's the Nekosans! And HOW CUTE! They've brought some Nezumi-sans to play with them!"
The vans, cars, bikes, vehicles all screech to a halt, Milfeulle, Dizzy, Ishida, Forte and Chitose standing between the two rival forces!
AND AT THAT VERY MOMENT! Grey-green sludge erupts out of nearby manhole covers, amid the sounds of laughter! "HA HA HA HA!" a voice comes from everywhere. "I, Pharaoh Binghotep, hereby claim this city for EGYPT! Now BRING ON THE WHORES! HA HA HA!" A face slowly defines itself out of the roiling sludge, wearing the crown of the Two Kingdoms and a long goatee. Along with an evil smirk.
Crawling out from the manhole behind him, her uniform covered with stains, pink hair bedraggled and frizzy, is none other than Grand Admiral of the Imperial Fleet, Milfeulle Sakuraba. The Milfeulle from the Possible Future Where Milfeulle Becomes a Model Officer! "Milfeulle," she declares, staggering to her feet and pointing to Milfeulle, the regular Milfeulle, who smiles widely and waves.
"Grandma!" chirps the younger Milfie.
"NO I'M NOT YOUR GRANDMA! I've just spent a month as the trophy wife of an undead Egyptian pharaoh made out of liquified chocolate parsley! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
And SUDDENLY! AT THAT VERY MOMENT! A golden light appears in the middle of the street, out of which walks none other than HARD DRINKIN' HONEST ABE LINCOLN, President of the United States! "Milfeulle Sakuraba!" he shouts, pointing at old Milfeulle. "I've found you this time for SURE! We've got to get going, the Illuminati is about to blow up Lemuria!" Without listening to any of the older Milfeulle's protests, he turns back toward the golden light, pausing briefly upon catching sight of Forte. "Oh, hey Forte! Can't talk now. The space/time whatchamadoohickey needs saving again. But let's belly up to the bar for some good old fashioned Kentucky Rocket Bourbon next time I'm in town!" He tips his hat to the Angel Commander, before jumping back through the temporal gateway.
"MILFEULLE!" screams the Grand Admiral as she gets dragged through. "You haven't seen the last of MEEEEEE!"
As they vanish, so does the gateway, disappearing with a *SHOOP*.
A moment passes. And then:
"Son of a BITCH!" roars the giant ooze, the Egyptian face contorting into blinding rage. "He STOLE my ARM CANDY! DAMN YOU LINCOLN! I'll get you for this someday! ARRRRRRGH!" With a roar of rage, the ooze explodes in size, growing tentacles everywhere, before exploding down through the manholes under the street again, dragging dozens of Nekos and Nezus in his wake. There's a quick tremor. And then all is silent once again.
Only Rico, Bron and Konda are left of the Nezumis; only Patrick, Jonathan and Gasteau are left among the Nekos. They stare at each other. "Truce?" Rico asks after a second.
There's a pause. "NEVER!" roars Patrick, jumping at his rival, at which point they commence to beating each other with their bare hands while the other four stand around confusedly.
"You guys want to go with us on a picnic?" Milfeulle asks them cheerfully, quite unmoved by the spectacle. "Oh Dizzy! Do you have potato salad? I love potato salad. Mmmm....."
Forte's sole response? She salutes the Hardest Drinkin' Representative Illinois Ever Had. "You're on, Mr. President. Just keep that Booth guy away from my gun collection, I swear that look he's been giving my favorite Derringers is way too unhealthy for a grown actor his age."
And then, its back to normal, as if nothing has happened. "A picnic sounds good! Did anybody remember to pack the sake?"
Uryuu has just lifted a finger and begun to speak, when the two gangs screech into position and the altercation begins. And at the end of it, the Quincy holds his position, finger raised and mouth slightly open. As the dust clears, he pauses, lowering his hand, then breathes in and attempts to say something about what just happened.
Silence, and another pause. Uryuu tries one more time.
Again, no words come. Uryuu gives up. "Shall we pick up a tablecloth and picnic food, then?" he asks, running a hand through his hair as he starts toward a home supply retailer.
Something happened just now. Dizzy is sure of it.
Only her brain refuses to parse it all, in its entirety. Necro and Undine aren't telling, either; no, they're just kind of frozen in the back corner of her mind, mentally curled up in the fetal position, not making any sound at all. She takes a few moments to look around the street: there was...gray, and sand, and another Milfeuille, very briefly.... Also some gang members pounding on each other and probably about to be 'escorted' away very quickly.
She finally gives up on that all as a bad idea and smiles a bit unsteadily. Yes, now she remembers why she didn't go seeking out the Angel Brigade too hard. "Potato salad sounds wonderful," she manages after finding her voice again. She smiles a bit at Chitose and Forte. Ah, good thing that they aren't so put off by such things. "Oh, I'm sorry, Lieutenant Karasuma," she says, correcting her terms of address. "Um. Yes, let's do that," she finishes off, nodding to her boyfriend. Whatever it takes to leave...whatever it was that just happened behind. Indeed. "Anything else you have in mind?"
Yes. Talk about food. It's easier on the brain.
Bron, Konda, Jonathan and Gasteau all turn to Dizzy and Uryuu, excitement - not to mention hunger - writ large on their faces. "We'd love to go on a picnic!" says Konda, looking hopeful. "We're really hungry. Gang food is terrible! We've eaten RATS! And that's not cool, considering we're the Nezumi gang!"
Milfeulle also turns to address Chitose. "Won't this be fun? Dizzy's a great cook. She baked a cake the first time we met, and it didn't blow up! ... Chitose-san?" She looks around curiously. Somewhere, somehow, Chitose Karasuma was lost in the confusion. Milfeulle decides she's probably off in the sewers somewhere suffering the anger of Binghotep! Horrible! Poor Chitose! But oh well. Milfeulle's about to be fed! "Oh, she just wandered off. Maybe she got so hungry with us talking about food that she had to get a snack! She can catch up with us later."
Meanwhile, one-hundred-thousand years in the past, Abraham Lincoln makes a terrible discovery. Once AGAIN, he failed to retrieve the Lucky One. Lemuria's explosion could be seen from space! BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
"Okay, it blew up!" grunts Chitose, adrift in the middle of the Indian Ocean, holding onto the same driftwood as Admiral Sakuraba and President Lincoln. "Can we go home now...?"
"YOU IDIOT!" roars Admiral Sakuraba to the 16th President of the United States. "If I was one of YOUR admirals I'd depose you in a military coup and have you hanged! ... Hung! Hang...ered. Okay, I mean SHOT! Yeah! Down in the basement, double tap in the back of the head!" Chitose looks at the Admiral with open admiration, hearts in her eyes.
And I thought Farragut was a hardass, Abe Lincoln thinks to himself. Aloud, he sighs. "Well, that's twice I've lost a major landmass. The Time Authority's not going to be happy about THIS..."
Back in the present, Milfeulle raises a hand. "I vote we get out of here and head for the nearest picnic table! I mean, gangs? Pharaohs? Historical figures? I never knew the Hub was such a dangerous neighborhood!"
~fin~
See you next time!