[LOG] The New Faculty
WHO: Tatsuki Arisawa, Ichigo Kurosaki, Isshin Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, Uryuu Ishida, Yasutora Sado, Kenpachi Zaraki
WHERE: Karakura High School
WHEN:PE Class, April 11th
WHAT: Tatsuki shows off her prize from beating Kenpachi, traumatizing Ichigo. Then Kenpachi reveals his cover, traumatizing Ichigo. Then Isshin shows up and it all goes downhill from there.
WATCH FOR:Tatsuki vs Yachiru, and the dreaded PARENT TEACHER ANTI-DELINQUINCY TECHNIQUE.
It is lunch. Next class...is PE. Tatsuki Arisawa is lounging under the tree, chomping on a bento. She's not totally sure where Orihime is; it's harder to keep track of the busy bright-haired girl lately, for some reason.
Her satchel is face-down on the ground next to her; she has been carefully concealing the front all day. She is eagerly keeping her eye out, but for what? Hmm.
Ichigo eat lunch at lunchtime? Never!
Like usual, he's kicking it on the roof with Keigo and the rest of the mongoloids, leaning back against the rail and enjoying the springtime sun in silence.
Well, he's at least being Quiet. He's got this feeling of impending doom he can't seem to shake. Like his entire world is going to blow up at the hands of some cackling maniac very soon. Stupid hollows. Probably going to attack during PE or something.
Chad is also up on the roof with Ichigo, as always. Rawrrawr Mongloids forever! He's already eaten his lunch by this point, and is waiting out the period, watching Keigo's typical antics. Like Ichigo, Chad is being a bit more quiet than usual, though probably for different reasons.
Glancing off the roof, he notices Tatsuki down under the tree (good eyesight, despite the hair). He's been meaning to talk to her about.. well... just about everything that's been going on. But mostly about Urahara. He'd do so now... but, well, if he jumped off the roof just to run over and speak to her that might earn him a kick in the face from a startled Martial Artist.
The fall, of course, wouldn't bother him.
Tatsuki's eyes finally track up to the top of the school, and she grunts. "Of course he's up there," she groans. "The ONE day I wanna show him something...jeeze." She finishes her bento quickly, then begins preparations to take off. Maybe she'll be able to actually get some company that isn't Chizuru trying to cop a feel, if she goes up to join them.
Keigo's continued ramblings about some upperclassman's ....tracts of land, earn the permanant annoyance a big nasty frown from Ichigo. He's not in the mood for his friend's constant perversion.
Stupid festival.
"Oi, Chad. What time is it?"
Chad watches Tatsuki scurry off before turning his attention back to Keigo. Not that he's interested, he just wants to make sure he doesn't say/do anything to cause himself grievous bodily harm.
"About halfway through lunch period." Hah! He's estimating, since he doesn't have his watch on him today. Still, his guess is accurate, so whatever time it would be when it's half-way through lunch period is what it is!
Tatsuki grabs her satchel and walks inside the building, making her way toward the roof. It'll take her a bit to get there. Hopefully, lunch won't end while she's still only halfway up.
Great. Halfway done.
'Come on, Hollow. Attack now so I can escape!'
Likely, lunch would be more pleasant for Ichigo if he didn't forget the damn thing because he overslept. He shifted in his seat, readjusting himself against the bars of the railing. The forboding sense was making stating comfortable kinda tough.
The door opens, and Rukia steps into the rooftop, with a juice box in her hand and tugging absently at a lock of hair behind her ear. Sorry, Ichigo, no hollows. Otherwise she would be bursting in right now and dragging you away.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Rukia-chan! You're looking even lovelier than usu--"
"No, Keigo-kun, I don't have Chisa-san's phone number."
"NANI?! But you were just TALKING to her--"
Bawl. Sob. Rukia stares at the poor, dateless NPC, before she turns around and walks towards where Ichigo and Chad are, looking a little confused. "What's his problem?" she asks, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder at the exagerratedly hysterical boy.
Chad glances back at Ichigo, like he can READ HIS MIND. No Hollow attacking, bad Ichigo! Bad! Fighting here would be, well, borderline disasterous if Keigo at ALL caught on you had super-powers.
Then Rukia walks in and geastures to Keigo, to which Chad responds "...rejection."
Well, maybe adding SOME excitement in Keigo's life right now might cheer the poor NPC up a bit. Though a Hollow might not be the best way to go.
At the bottom of the stairs, Tatsuki stops. She stretches a little...and then sprints up them, taking them two at a time and generally going really, really fast. Finally, about two minutes later, she kicks open the door to the roof, somehow not crippled from lack of breath. "Take that, stupid stairs! Tatsuki wins! ...oh, there you are. Ichigo!"
Ichigo can answer this one! "He's Keigo." This is said in a matter of fact tone that makes it seem as if it's the most logical and fully explained answer in the world. He can't help but glance at the juice box and smirk a bit, recalling her didfficulty with such mundane things.
He's just about to open his mouth to say something stupid that would, likely, end up with him getting hurled from the roof when Tatsuki literally bursts onto the scene.
"Eh, Tatsuki? What's up? Something important?" The death god rep tenses a bit, ready to spring into action if heroics are needed!
".....is that supposed to tell me anything?" Back to normal for the two of them, it looks like. Rukia pokes the straw into the juice box and takes a sip. Hey, she's seen it done once before, it's not like she's got the learning curve of a rock. Her hand also draws back in readiness when Ichigo opens his mouth, her Idiocy Senses were tingling.
Until Tatsuki destroys any headwhacking preemptively.
She doesn't ask what's up, Ichigo already took care of that. So all she does now is blink at the other teen with a straw in her mouth.
"Hm?" Is Chad's response as Tatsuki comes bursting up on the roof. Ichigo's faster with his mouth than any of them there, so there's no need to ask 'what's up'. So he just waits for something else to happen. He can't go asking Tatsuki about Urahara NOW, with Keigo present (if a bit out of it).
Tatsuki Arisawa grins crookedly. "Oh, nothing," she says. "Chizuru's trying to grope me again and Orihime's gone off to Candyland again, so I figured I'd come up here and spend some time with you guys." She has been holding her satchel close to her chest as if keeping it secret, but now she hangs it low again, as per usual, and begins walking over. "If you don't mind, that is." She doesn't seem to particularly care if they mind, as she plops down in a spot against the fence in short order, satchel facing Ichigo. Which is about when he'll finally be able to catch sight of the new addition to that bag that she's been giggling about all day. It's a patch. An all too familiar patch...
11TH DIVISION
HONORARY MEMBER
"When's that psycho /not/ trying to grope you, anyway?" If it wasn't for Ichigo's rule against punching girls, Chizuru would have been knocked into orbit by now. Inoue's always in candyland too.
His friends are great, aren't they?
It takes him a moment to notice the patch. She sits, he goes back to being quiet until it catches his eye. Ichigo shoots straight up onto his feet and /points/ at the patch. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Here it goes.
Chad blinks. Stares. Then blinks again. The actual words on the patch don't register with his brain right away, instead the image of the patch comes to mind, he's SEEN something like that before...
*FLASHBACK TO SOUL SOCIETY!*
Bursting through a wall, Chad steps out on the rubble, just missing Ichigo and Ganju as they sprint off away from their opponents. The members of 11th division, angry at being interupted, try to take their anger out on Chad, only to get swatted in less than 5 minutes. They ALL had a patch like that, except theirs was missing the word 'Honorary'.
*END FLASHBACK*
"Hmm..." He thought he sensed Captain Zaraki's presence when he left the party the other night. But he can't even begin to imagine how Tatsuki was given that patch. This oughtta be a doozy.
Rukia peers at the patch, and smirks, even as Ichigo goes spastic somewhere next to her. "Zaraki-taicho's crazier than I thought he was," she remarks dryly. Her straw goes back into her mouth. Siiiiip.
"What, this?" Tatsuki asks, guilelessly. She knows; it's easy enough to tell tell from the twinkle in her eye. But obviously she can't talk about it in front of Pinky and the Brain, er, Keigo and Mizuiro, so instead she says, "It's the logo for a martial arts society. That guy I beat up at the festival gave it to me, or well, his partner did. I guess I don't actually meet the requirements to join yet, so they gave me an honorary one!"
This is almost 100% BS, but it sounds just plausible enough that people who aren't In The Know will probably buy it. Or so Tatsuki hopes.
Ah, that guy she beat up. That explains everything. How else would she get a patch like tha--wait. That guy she beat up couldn't have been Kenpachi?
KENPACHI?
Chad seems more visably put off by this than Ichigo is, though he's not shouting about it. After a moment he composes himself and sighs. Just what has been going on around here lately?
Ichigo's hand drops to his side, and he sinks back to the ground, looking like a cross between dejected and horrified. "I don't get it. I still don't get why he's /here/. Things are fine, aside from the giant robots, but, really, did they need to send /that/ crazy guy?"
Damn you, old man. Damn your sending of captains!
"If it makes you feel better, if he was sent down here, he'd have a limiter imposed on him," Rukia remarks, crossing her arms over her chest and glances at Ichigo askance. "He wouldn't be fighting in his full power in this plane." Might disappoint Tatsuki a little that Zaraki was fighting under a handicap, but that's the way it is.
"Besides...we have other things to worry about. I got a note regarding that thing you received during the Festival." She winks at him. "I found out where the postcard came from."
It is at this point that the bell rings. Oh those schoolbells. Always ringing at the worst possible time.
It doesn't help that it's PE, with that big jerk.
You know, the one who tried to get half the cast in trouble for a TV appearance? Yeah. Him.
A limiter? That's a bit better then. Chad breathes a sigh of relief. Afterall, his own trip through Soul Society was brought to a screeching halt by the first captain he ran into, and hearing that Tatsuki took down a captain was a bit of a shock.
But now he REALLY needs to find time to speak with her later.
It won't be now, though, the bells ring. And it's time for PE. To help things get back to a bit of normalacy, Chad walks over to the destitute Keigo and picks him up off the ground and puts him back on his feet. "Maybe you can get Chisa's number on the way to PE?"
Augh. Bell. Lame. At least it won't be boring. Ichigo rises to his feet and stuffs his hands into his pockets. The fact that Kenpachi's powers are limited doesn't mean much. He's crazy strong anyway, and has a strange obsession with fighting Ichigo.
"Guess we'd better get goin'." Stupid PE. He gets enough exercise running around and fighting the bad guys. At an easy pace, Ichigo heads for the door to the stairs. It's probably baseball or something today. Or running. How he hates running.
Rukia pushes off the rail, and once people start to file out for PE, she follows the rest, but lags behind. Why? Because she doesn't really get involved with PE. She lets other people do it. She does watch though.
Rukia Kuchiki, cheater.
Aww. Way to ruin the party, Rukia. She didn't actually win, you know. But Tatsuki's expression isn't that dampened by the news. She doesn't reply, just standing up and working her way downstairs along with the others. "Man, I hope it's not marathon again today," she mutters.
Oh, it might be Marathon for someone....Yes indeed...
But still, people are coming together for PE, and big jerk teacheris currently taking the roll. And debating what horrors he will inflict on the students this time. And wondering how best to shut up that kid who's humming the Jaws theme for some unknown reason.
Down the stairs goes Ichigo. He's not hurrying, but he's not being slow and pokey either. If he's late, he'll have to run laps.
Flash forward: Five minutes!
Ichigo's exactly where he's supposed to be. In the gym, getting his name taken down that he's here, and dreading whatever torture's up for them all.
Flash forwards are a fun and convenient way to bypass all the needless mucking about in hypersp--- changing. Yes, changing. So Chad is also fully changed into gym clothes, and ready to do whatever activity is lined up for today. Unlike Ichigo Chad really doesn't mind most of the PE activities. The instructor takes some getting used to though.
FLAAAAAASH FOOOOOOOORWWWWWWWWARD
Tatsuki is also present, in her gym outfit. She's a little ways off from the boys, standing with the girls. Orihime is...still gone. Worry worry worry.
The roll noted down, the jerk PE Teacher clears his throat. "Alright then! Today, for the boys, sprinting, for the girls, marathon! Are we clear?"
And yet, all of a sudden, Ichigo may, in fact, feel a sudden weight on his head. The weight of a small girl, who probably has pink hair and an incredible sense of balance. "That plans boring. Don't you think so, Ichi?"
The Jerk PE Teacher who's name is unknown blinks. "...Kurosaki, explain why you have a child on your head!" Yeah, that's right, single Ichigo out just because he has a tendency of having insane little girls pop out of nowhere and torment him.
Blink. Oh god. Why him. "If I knew why, I'd tell you." says Ichigo politely, if a touch tensely. His volume drops and he whispers viciously for Yachiru's ears only. "What're you doing here? You're going to get me in /trouble/!"
The pain never ends, does it?
Tatsuki Arisawa blinks, and looks over. ...hey, it's that little girl. What the hell is she doing here...?
No, Mister Kurosaki, the pain does not, in fact, ever end. Quite the opposite.
It gets worse.
Just as the PE Teacher is about to start berating Ichigo, the wall behind him shakes somewhat.
And then it shakes some more. And a small part of it collapses, as someone walks through.
"I guess he didn't get lost again...." Yachiru says, as she leaps off Ichigo's head towards the front of the room.
And before the PE Teacher can do anything else, he is promptly kicked out of the way, and sent skidding through the crowd, possibly crushing Keigo. Who knows. Who honestly cares?
And yes, yes it IS him, who is standing where the teacher formerly did .And yes, he is still wearing biker leathers.
"My name is Zaraki Kenpachi." He says, with a grin that should spread fear in the hearts of...well, Ichigo, mainly. "I am your new PE Teacher."
Blink. Blink. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP!?" There is, in fact, terror in the heart of Ichigo, but it's mostly full of disbelief. Maybe a bit of concern for his...old teacher and Keigo, but mostly disbelef and terror.
"You can't just /barge in/ and declare yourself a teacher! IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!" shouts Kurosaki, shaking a fist and pointing a quivering finger at the crazy-ass captain.
What /did/ he do to deserve this? It's probably Rukia's faut. SOMEHOW.
Watching from the window, Rukia FACEPALMS at what she sees. "You have to be kidding me," she mutters under her breath.
Tatsuki...stares. "What the...argh!" Of COURSE the maniacs charge in! Ichigo starts yelling, but Tatsuki...Tatsuki does something else. Something that might very well give Ichigo a heart attack.
Tatsuki charges in and tries to put Kenpachi in a headlock. "What the hell do you think you're doing you spiky-haired maniac!"
Tatsuki Arisawa successfully targets Kenpachi Zaraki with her HEADLOCK action.
Oh Tatsuki, when will you ever learn that headlocking Crazy people is never the answer.
Today, probably. She does, in fact, headlock Kenpachi. It's a very impressive headlock.
However, the fact is, Kenpachi can lift Tatsuki about a foot off the ground just by standing up. He is, you know, taller than Chad here.
However, it's not likely that that will be what gets Kenpachi out of the headlock.
It is more the fact that Yachiru goes for her head.
"No interrupting Ken-Chan!"
However, Kenpachi DOES still shoot A LOOK at Ichigo. "It works, damnit! I'm here, he's unconscious, I'm the new PE Teacher! Unless, Ichigo, you want to sort this out with a fight." Oh god. His teeth GLEAM. WITH EVIL.
See, Ichigo, this is why you do not interrupt Kenpachi's talking.
You successfully target Tatsuki Arisawa with your YACHIRU'D action.
Uryuu Ishida was a bit slow in changing for PE today. He finally arrives, fully expecting to be berated by the coach, and fully not caring in the least. Just in time to see the coach /slam/ into Keigo at speeds approaching Mach 1. "..." And then he sees Kenpachi, and Yachiru jumping off of Ichigo's head. "/.../"
And then Tatsuki puts him in her trademark headlock. Uryuu very nearly facefaults. "...I knew I should have stayed home today."
"AGH HEY NO TEETH BITING BAD WHAAAAA"
Tatsuki wrestles with Yachiru into the background.
Ichigo stares at Zaraki flatly, his fist clenching and shaking with raw irritation. "Oh no. You're not /goading me/, Kenpachi. I don't need to fight you, you crazy son of a....."
And now Yachiru is eating Tatsuki's head. This just gets better.
Especially since /everyone else/ is staring at Ichigo and the new 'teacher'. How is he going to explain /this/ away?
"You don't need to fight me?" Ichigo, what have you done? You've forgotten Kenpachi's new and terrible power.
"Today, everyone will be practicing martial arts of their choice. Pick a partner! ICHIGO! You're training with me!" He isn't paying any attention to Yachiru and Tatsuki's deadly fight to the death! Or the fact that they may need to explain this whole dealy or that there may be other captains in the area. Or, really, that many of the students may not know how to fight.
Oh god, how is the education board going to explain this one.
On the upside, it's still better than what Ikkaku and Yumichika have to do for THEIR covers.
In the background, Tatsuki barks, "Hah! And stay OH JESUS SHE'S GOT MY KNEE"
Ichigo's hands stop twitching, and he looks around. The door is /all the way/ on the other side of the gym. The death god looks to the rest of his classmates, feigning ignorance at this madman.
He looks at the door again and takes a small sliding step in that direction. Then another. He gives one more look around, hunting for help. Tatsuki will do no good, Ishida /might/, but likely his pleading looks will get him /nowhere/.
Which is why he bolts across the gym, running as fas as he can, darting towards the exit.
This may be like running away from a hunting tiger.
"Oh for GOD'S SAKE," Rukia mutters, turning around to leave the classroom she was using that was overlooking the gym area. Ugh. UGH. Why does she always have to try and bail him out of things that weren't even on consequence to begin with. At least here, she has an advantage. She knows how Ichigo thinks.
This plan involves a closet.
This will only end in tears.
Uryuu is fully determined to /not get involved/ with this little scene. Hiding his amusement at Ichigo's panic, he scoots off toward a corner of the room, intending to practice a bit on his own.
Oh dear. He ran. He knows what happens when you run from Kenpachi.
"FIGHT ME, ICHIGO!"
And with that, Kenpachi charges through the throng after Ichigo, grabbing a bokken off the prone form of the old teacher.
Kenpachi is leaving the building. This means one thing.
Yachiru is in charge.
Having attacked Tatsduki's knees succesfuilly, she stands up. "Okay! You heard Ken-Chan! Get to fighting! I bet he'll want to see a free for all by the time he gets back!" And then, she leaps for Tatsuki again.
"GET OUTTA MY WAY!" shouts Ichigo as he powers through the gym doors to the outside, nearly taking them off their hinges. He ventures a look backwards at Kenpachi who is catching up /and/ armed.
Who did he piss off?
Racing through the school Grounds, Ichigo blasts by a groundskeeper, swiping his rake. It wasn't Zangetsu, but it'd do in a pinch!
"QUIT CHASING ME YOU CRAZY BASTARD!" He kept running, right out into the baseball field.
Tatsuki is ready this time! "Hah! You won't catch me off guard again! Take THAAAAAAAAAH SHE BIT MY FOOT"
Oh god. How was she going to get him out of this?
Why the hell does she care anyways? Ichigo managed to beat Zaraki before, didn't he?
Then again, if he gets beat up by Zaraki in his human body, he wouldn't be in any shape to beat up Hollows. She could always do it, and she could always tag Renji for help, but that would only piss Ichigo off more considering he thinks it's his job. Ugh. This was ridiculous. How the hell is she going to pull this off?
As Ichigo streaks across the baseball field, she facepalms. Turning around, she leaps off in a different direction.
No Baseball Field is safe from the wrath of KENPACHI ZARAKI. The madman with the bokken chases after Ichigo at high speed. "GET BACK HERE, KUROSAKI!" And yes, yes he IS gaining.
There is no escape from GREAT TEACHER KENPACHI.
Back at the gym, though, the students are, depressingly enough, not fighting.
Which means ANGRY YACHIRU!
"KEN-CHAN TOLD YOU TO START FIGHTING!"
For those spiritually aware....ANGRY KITTY AURA! For those who aren't....SCARY LITTLE GIRL.
Needless to say, as Yachiru has her back turned to Tatsuki, the terrified students start doing two things. Grabbing weapons and trampling Keigo and teh Old Teacher. Most of it purposefully with the latter.
CHAAAAAAAAAANCE! Tatsuki winds up and stares at Yachiru what the hell is that! But...no! No time to be scared of little girls now! She bounds forward, trying to literally tackle Yachiru to the ground.
This may or may not end up with her plastered to the floor by sheer virtue of Yachiru's Death Spirit Kitty Technique.
Ichigo takes a glance back and swears. He's gaining. Great. He turns back around and realizes that that tall fence is really close. Too close to stop in time. "OH CRAP!" Clank. Rattle! "...Ow.." Facefirst into the chain link.
This means Kenpachi will catch up. Ichigo turns and holds the rake by the handle, but the head makes it unwieldy. He tries it the other way, but the head's in the way. "Stupid thing!" he mutters before he breaks the rake head off and hucks it over the fence. Kenpachi will get what he wants this time.
Annnnd, that rake head gets chucked over the fence. Where's there's an audible 'WHACK' and a yell of "OW! Who threw that?!"
Of course, if one is one Ichigo Kurosaki....then that voice is verrrrrrrrrrrrrry familiar. A moment later, Isshin Kurosaki's head pops up above fence level, then the doctor pulls himself over the fence, rubbing a bump on his head and eyeing his son. And completely missing the charging Kenpachi.
"Oh! Ichigo! What are you doing defacing school rakes and chucking them at passerby for, huh? And aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"
Annnnd, with that, the Real Doctor Of Karakura advances on his son, finally noticing the Charging Giant Guy With A Pointy Sword. And, shrugging, he points a finger at Kenpachi, using his most fearsome Real Doctor Power to explain something to the Bell Wearing Pointy Hair.
"You! Hold on! I have dibs!"
Somewhere behind Isshin, Rukia peeks around the mad doctor's body.
Yes, THIS time, it's all Rukia's fault. Sadly, she was trying to diffuse the situation by introducing one crazy with another crazy, but the first crazy seems hellbent on getting Ichigo too.
Oh dear.
A helpless look on her face, she sweatdrops. "Oops."
Ichigo looks between his dad on one side of the fence, and Kenpachi on this side. What the hell is /wrong/ with this world!
INTERNAL MONOLOGUE!
"Hey. You. Hollow. A little help here?
"You're on your own, partner."
"Oh come on! Ravaging, killing people? Free of charge, help me out!"
"There are /crazy/ people out there. Sorry."
Ichigo looks back and forth between his dad and Kenpachi again, and tightens his grip on the rake handle. "This nutjob wants me to fight him!"
Kenpachi Zaraki skids to a halt in front of Ichigo. And pauses. "I've been chasing him, damnit! As the new PE Teacher, I can't have students running away in the middle of class! ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SHOULD BE FIGHTING ME!" Poor Ichigo, Trapped between a rock and a pair of crazy men intent on making his life hell.
But, back at the gym, Tatsuki has succesfully tackled Yachiru! Oh my! In fact, Yachiru is on the ground, as Tatsuki has gained the upper hand.
However, a pair of Cheer Squad Members seem to be investigating the mess.
"Ikkaku?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did we let the vice-captain talk us into doing this?"
"Do /YOU/ want to have to deal with her having a tantrum?"
Tatsuki grapples with Yachiru, keeping the little shorty subdued by locking her arms. "Gotcha now, you little gnome!" she jeers.
Uryuu totally sneaks out while nobody is watching.
One day, Orihime and Rukia will be conned into cheerleading uniforms.
This will only end with much slaughter.
The Real Doctor hmmmmms, and strokes his chin, nodding seriously as he listens to both sides of the argument.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. A difficult decision! After all, Ichigo, he is the current teacher, you know. Hmmmm. On the other hand, you are currently being a rather poor example of a teacher! I mean, concentrating on one student and not overseeing your own class! That, after all, is irresponsible! Therefore...CRAZY ISSHIN SCREW KICK!"
And, Lo, To the HOrror of Ichigo...Isshin attempts to punt Zaraki, in the head, back towards the gym.
"HOLY CRAP!" exclaims Ichigo, lowering his guard.
On one hand, why was Isshin here? On the other, he just booted Kenpachi in the /head/.
This is so confusing!
Isshin Kurosaki hits Kenpachi Zaraki with his CRAZY ISSHIN SCREW KICK attack.
You take 18 damage.
Wait. THE PLAN! It's working!
Now was her chance. Rukia hurries to the chainlink fence. "What are you waiting for?" she hisses under her breath towards Ichigo. "MOVE while the two psychos are fighting each other!"
Kenpachi would have a witty response to that, but he just got kicked in the head. So he doesn't. In fact, that actually kinda hurt. Stupid Gigai. Now, there is only one response to being kicked in the head, when you have a Bokken.
Responding by hitting your opponent with a stick, as he brings the practice sword round to 'slash' Isshin. "Heh. Since it looks like I won't be brining Ichigo back to class, you'll have to keep me busy."
As for Tatsuki and Yachiru, well, just because you have someone in youyr grip, doesn't mean they can't SEND YOU FLYING WITH DEATHKITTY. Oh yes, very bad move, Tatsuki, insulting Yachiru like that. It's a good hing those two new Yell Leaders come rushing in, through the crowd, to hold her back.
They might even be trying to drag her out, it's hard to tell, what with the struggling.
You get a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with your ZARAKI SECRET TECHNIQUE: HIT WITH STICK attack.
Ichigo looks at the melee betwen the crazy man and his crazy dad, then to Rukia. "Right! coming!" he says and starts to climb the fence, rake handle in hand. He pauses, though and calls out. "Pops! Catch!" he then hucks the rake handle at Isshin before scrambling the rest of the way over the fence and hops down. Looking to Rukia, he speaks again before he takes off running. "Let's get outta here."
*BONK*
"...Owwwwwwwww! Hey, that hurt!"
And, lo, the battle is joined, as Isshin Kurosaki, distracted from his attempt to chase Ichigo for playing hookey, frowns and turns back to Kenpachi, the REAL DOCTOR frowning as he retaliates with the nearest object at hand. Namely...it's the rake head. Which is chucked at Kenpachi's shin, afore the REAL DOCTOR (TM) grabs the rake handle and then uses the ANCIENT KUROSAKI TECHNIQUE HANDED DOWN THROUGH THE AGES.
And he attempts to bonk Kenpachi on the head.
Keep in mind, practicing Kurosaki Ninjutsu, Isshin is counting on the bright and vibrant colors of his shirt to demoralize and/or distract his opponent!
Isshin Kurosaki gets a glancing blow on Kenpachi Zaraki with his ANCIENT KUROSAKI NINJA TECHNIQUE: BONK attack.
You take 7 damage.
What, wait, run? With HIM? Then again without her he might get in trouble. "Oi, Ichigo!" Rukia calls, but he's running again, and she starts taking off with him. She can keep up with him pretty easily, despite the fact that he was a foot taller than her. But she makes quick work of the pavement, looking over her shoulder once as she watches Isshin engage Kenpachi.
o O (....there's something about the way that man fights that's familiar....)
Could be because Ichigo fights similarly, perhaps? She's not sure, but since Isshin can scare ANYONE, she's sure the doctor will be fine. And so off she goes with Ichigo. To 'play hooky' from school.
Tatsuki Arisawa goes rocketing across the gym, and lands hard against the wall. There is a crater, and she's out, folks.
Tatsuki Arisawa hits herself with her THUD super.
Oh god, Kenpachi got ninja'd in the head. By the frilly shirt ninja, no less! Thus, Kenpachi retaliates, swinging round to hit Isshin in the ribs. And then he notices something.
"Damnit! Where's Ichigo gone?"
As for Yachiru, she is, rather painstakingly, dragged out by Ikkaku and Yumichika. Just as the bell for then end of class rings. Whoo. Lucky escape for those students.
You critically strike Isshin Kurosaki with your STICK +1 attack.
Ichigo circles wide around the Baseball field, doing his best to avoid line of sight with his dad or Kenpachi. Does he plan on going back to school today? Not really.
"That man is /screwed up/." Whether Ichigo refers to his dad or Kenpachi is a touch vague. Maybe both! "What's his problem? I don't want to fight him anymore!" Whine, whine, whine.
Isshin hmmms in annoyance as he's smacked in the ribs, and is about to retaliate...when he pauses, his rake handle hovering an inch away from Kenpachi's nose.
"...Huh. You're right! We can't let him do that! He'd be a delinquent!"
And, without looking to see if Kenpachi's following, Isshin sprints and vaults the fence, landing easily as he glances towards the fleeing fugitives. Well, they are quite far away...he'd better yell to make himself heard!
"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIGO! YOU BETTER NOT BE PLAYING HOOKEY SO YOU CAN TRY AND MAKE OUT WITH RUKIA AGAIN! COME BACK HERE, YOU PUNK!"
ANd, in a more...ummm...okay, normal doesn't apply to Isshin. Quieter? Yes. Yes. That'll work...
"Speedy Kurosaki Pursuit Running Technique!" ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! THE CHASE IS ON!
VAULT over the fence? Who needs to vault? Kenpachi makes a living out of going THROUGH such flimsy objects. Which is what he does, as he too joins the chase for Ichigo.
"GET BACK HERE, KUROSAKI!" He yells, keeping up with Isshin. On the downside, he doesn't have Yachiru with him to navigate.
If that's a downside.
"He's going to obsess over you for the rest of your life, until he beats you," Rukia points out. "Ugh. That's the problem with male pride in the battlefield..." she mutters under her breath. She follows Ichigo make a wide berth around the baseball field, and then starts off into the nearby bushes to have the foilage shield her as she starts making her way away from school.
"Looks like you're skipping school again, but at least this time you have an excuse." She sighs and shakes her head, looking a little irritated. Until his father yells what he does, and the crash.
Oh ****! "Ichigo, run!"
"DAMMIT WHY ME!?" shouts Ichigo as he takes off again, tearing off at full speed towards the school building.
No hookey this time. At full speed, breathing heavily, Ichigo charges back towards the school building. He's going to be late for his next class, but his dad is here! He'll be off the hook, right? Right?
Dammit. They're probably going to catch him, too. From now on? Kon's going to school, and Ichigo's patroling.
HMMMMM!
"You! He's getting away! However, I have a cunning plan!"
See, Kenpachi's good at going through the objects that Isshin has to take a moment to clamber over. Which is why, in his cunning, Isshin skids to a halt, snags one of Kenpachi's arms as he passes, and swings himself up, planting a foot on his shoulder and the other on his back.
As a bonus...extra height! Which enables absurdly accurate directions!
"THAT WAY! HE'S HEADING FOR THE SCHOOL! Hmmmm! We won't make it on time! Do you have any ideas?!"
"Gah!" Okay, Kenpachi was NOT expecting to be used like a surfboard. But damnit, the crazy doctor was right. If he's going to fight Ichigo, he only has one chance. "Just the one." He grins, before leaping into the air, and grabbing Isshin off his back. Oh god. This can only end in one way.
You miss Ichigo Kurosaki with your PARENT-TEACHER ANTI DELINQUINCY TECHNIQUE - THE INCREDIBLE FLYING DOCTOR attack.
Isshin Kurosaki hits Rukia Kuchiki with his COLLATERAL DAMAGE PARENT-TEACHER ANTI-DELINQUENCY MISGUIDED MISSILE TECHNIQUE attack.
"Ichigo, watch out!"
The parent-teacher attack, for some reason, misses. This is a good thing.
The bad thing is, it has inexplicably switched directions, and is now bearing for her. Her eyes widen.
SLAMCRASHBAM! Poor Rukia. She weighed NOTHING compared to these guys. In fact one could barely see her in the tangle of arms, legs, limbs, and rubble that results afterwards.
Oh dear.
"Hmmmmm. Are you sure about thi-"
CHUNK. THROW. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUUUUUU DELLLLLLLLLINUQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEENT!"
Annnnnnd, Isshin is hurled, at hih speed, at his Strawberry-head of a son. And then past him. Luckily, his fal is broken by something else Isshin blinks, and glances down at the back of Rukia's head.
"... ...Hmmmm. Well! There appear to be no major injuries!"
Isshin stands up, pulls Rukia up out of the wreckage, dusts himself off, and then turns, LOOMING OVER ICHIGO!
"IIIIIIIICHGO! ...You shouldn't skip class, you know. Oh, and you forgot your allowance for the week."
Isshin calmly hands over an envelope to Ichigo, then strolls off of the campus, whistling cheerfully, looking none the worse for wear considering he jsut got ker-chucked by Zaraki.
And, on the way out, he pauses to point at Kenpachi. "AND YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR AIM, SIR!" Walkwalkwalk
They did the one thing that would make him stop.
Alright, if he had gotten nailed, it would have hurt, too, but this is for honor now! Ichigo skids to a stop and rounds on Kenpachi, envelope of cash in hand. He clenches a fist and storms right up to the mountain of meat. He waits a moment for Isshin to get out of earshot and jabs a finger at the Captain. "Fine. You wnt to fight me? Two days from now. Urahara's secret place. Just you and me, all out. Win or lose, you have to leave me alone." A pause. "Deal?"
Rukia's going to eat his head for this.
Probably, but right now she's a little dazed. Rukia's body is propped on the side of the wall, her eyes looking like swirlies and looking....well, not so well. She's conscious, at least, but the world looks funny at the moment, and she could vaguely hear masculine voices saying one thing or another. But at present, once Isshin sets her there and turns around to address Ichigo, her body slides down.
o O (I can't feel my body).
Why? Why does everyone be heavier than she is?
Kenpachi Zaraki blinks. And then he grins. "Fine. Two days." I mean, sure, Ichigo is hoping alot to be left alone after the fight, and, really, who can believe Kenpachi will stop, but hey, he's got his fight, now! "You'd better have gotten better since last time!" He shouts, as he starts to wander off. Class dismissed, I guess.
Or in the nurse's office. Whatever!
Ichigo Kurosaki smirks a bit at Kenpachi's retreating back. "Heh heh heh...he has no id--Oh crap. Rukia!" He turns and rushes back to the tiny death god and reaches down to help her to her feet. He's going to feel so guilty for this. It's all his fault!
'Are you OK? My dad's such a dumbass."
She weighs next to nothing. Picked up and leaning on the taller death god, Rukia's eyes open just a little bit wider. "Your father's so heavy," she tells him, lifting a hand to rub the side of her head. "Where am I?" Alright, so maybe the impact knocked some stuff around, but Ichigo's familiar, so she's sticking with him. "....Ichigo, what'd you just do?" If she were in her right mind, she'd DESTROY him right here, but at present, she's a little too dazed to do any of that. Instead, she just hangs onto him for support.
Aw. How cute.
Stupid gigais and their weaknesses.
She likes it, despite denial (It is inevitable). Obviously Ichigo cares more about her welfare than being seen helping her back to school. "My pop eats too much, yeah. We're still on school grounds and going back in." He pauses for a moment, hoping she's too maimed to punch him in the face.
"I, uh, said I'd fight Kenpachi in two days, in Sandal-Hat's basement training pit."
Annnnnd, recovering quickly, OBVIOUSLY due to the influence of Tatsuki-chan's frequent beatings, and NOT BECAUSE OF ANY NEFARIOUS PLOTS, Keigo heads towards class...just in time to see things.
At which point, he drops to his knees, tears running down his cheeks.
"IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! EVEN ICHIGO HAS A GIRL HANGING ON HIM! WHY NOT MEEEEEEEEE?!"
"........" Rukia stares at him. She'd punch him right now, but she'll only miss. It doesn't help that Keigo says what he does, but she has learned to ignore him by now. Instead, as she's helped back towards the school, her back hunched over because SOME VERTEBRAE were knocked out of alignment, she just shakes her head, growling under her breath.
"You better kick his ass," she mutters, her head dropping into his shoulder, and probably causing Keigo to BAWL EVEN MORE.
Why her?
"What? Me lose? Worst that'll happen is that, like last time, we'll both fall over at the same time." And the cycle will continue, and the world will explode. This isn't mentioned by Ichigo, though. That's just unnecessary pessimism. "When have I ever lost when it counted? Never." Except when Byakuya came to arrest her, but that doesn't count.
"C'mon. Let's get you to the infirmary or something." Off they go! Luckily she's light, so he won't get tired.
Her mouth opens up to say something, but Ichigo's already half-leading, half-carrying her towards the infirmary. Rukia only sighs, exasperatedly, shaking her head, and while she wouldn't admit it, she appreciated the support.
So off they go. Undoubtedly to make out.
WHERE: Karakura High School
WHEN:PE Class, April 11th
WHAT: Tatsuki shows off her prize from beating Kenpachi, traumatizing Ichigo. Then Kenpachi reveals his cover, traumatizing Ichigo. Then Isshin shows up and it all goes downhill from there.
WATCH FOR:Tatsuki vs Yachiru, and the dreaded PARENT TEACHER ANTI-DELINQUINCY TECHNIQUE.
It is lunch. Next class...is PE. Tatsuki Arisawa is lounging under the tree, chomping on a bento. She's not totally sure where Orihime is; it's harder to keep track of the busy bright-haired girl lately, for some reason.
Her satchel is face-down on the ground next to her; she has been carefully concealing the front all day. She is eagerly keeping her eye out, but for what? Hmm.
Ichigo eat lunch at lunchtime? Never!
Like usual, he's kicking it on the roof with Keigo and the rest of the mongoloids, leaning back against the rail and enjoying the springtime sun in silence.
Well, he's at least being Quiet. He's got this feeling of impending doom he can't seem to shake. Like his entire world is going to blow up at the hands of some cackling maniac very soon. Stupid hollows. Probably going to attack during PE or something.
Chad is also up on the roof with Ichigo, as always. Rawrrawr Mongloids forever! He's already eaten his lunch by this point, and is waiting out the period, watching Keigo's typical antics. Like Ichigo, Chad is being a bit more quiet than usual, though probably for different reasons.
Glancing off the roof, he notices Tatsuki down under the tree (good eyesight, despite the hair). He's been meaning to talk to her about.. well... just about everything that's been going on. But mostly about Urahara. He'd do so now... but, well, if he jumped off the roof just to run over and speak to her that might earn him a kick in the face from a startled Martial Artist.
The fall, of course, wouldn't bother him.
Tatsuki's eyes finally track up to the top of the school, and she grunts. "Of course he's up there," she groans. "The ONE day I wanna show him something...jeeze." She finishes her bento quickly, then begins preparations to take off. Maybe she'll be able to actually get some company that isn't Chizuru trying to cop a feel, if she goes up to join them.
Keigo's continued ramblings about some upperclassman's ....tracts of land, earn the permanant annoyance a big nasty frown from Ichigo. He's not in the mood for his friend's constant perversion.
Stupid festival.
"Oi, Chad. What time is it?"
Chad watches Tatsuki scurry off before turning his attention back to Keigo. Not that he's interested, he just wants to make sure he doesn't say/do anything to cause himself grievous bodily harm.
"About halfway through lunch period." Hah! He's estimating, since he doesn't have his watch on him today. Still, his guess is accurate, so whatever time it would be when it's half-way through lunch period is what it is!
Tatsuki grabs her satchel and walks inside the building, making her way toward the roof. It'll take her a bit to get there. Hopefully, lunch won't end while she's still only halfway up.
Great. Halfway done.
'Come on, Hollow. Attack now so I can escape!'
Likely, lunch would be more pleasant for Ichigo if he didn't forget the damn thing because he overslept. He shifted in his seat, readjusting himself against the bars of the railing. The forboding sense was making stating comfortable kinda tough.
The door opens, and Rukia steps into the rooftop, with a juice box in her hand and tugging absently at a lock of hair behind her ear. Sorry, Ichigo, no hollows. Otherwise she would be bursting in right now and dragging you away.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Rukia-chan! You're looking even lovelier than usu--"
"No, Keigo-kun, I don't have Chisa-san's phone number."
"NANI?! But you were just TALKING to her--"
Bawl. Sob. Rukia stares at the poor, dateless NPC, before she turns around and walks towards where Ichigo and Chad are, looking a little confused. "What's his problem?" she asks, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder at the exagerratedly hysterical boy.
Chad glances back at Ichigo, like he can READ HIS MIND. No Hollow attacking, bad Ichigo! Bad! Fighting here would be, well, borderline disasterous if Keigo at ALL caught on you had super-powers.
Then Rukia walks in and geastures to Keigo, to which Chad responds "...rejection."
Well, maybe adding SOME excitement in Keigo's life right now might cheer the poor NPC up a bit. Though a Hollow might not be the best way to go.
At the bottom of the stairs, Tatsuki stops. She stretches a little...and then sprints up them, taking them two at a time and generally going really, really fast. Finally, about two minutes later, she kicks open the door to the roof, somehow not crippled from lack of breath. "Take that, stupid stairs! Tatsuki wins! ...oh, there you are. Ichigo!"
Ichigo can answer this one! "He's Keigo." This is said in a matter of fact tone that makes it seem as if it's the most logical and fully explained answer in the world. He can't help but glance at the juice box and smirk a bit, recalling her didfficulty with such mundane things.
He's just about to open his mouth to say something stupid that would, likely, end up with him getting hurled from the roof when Tatsuki literally bursts onto the scene.
"Eh, Tatsuki? What's up? Something important?" The death god rep tenses a bit, ready to spring into action if heroics are needed!
".....is that supposed to tell me anything?" Back to normal for the two of them, it looks like. Rukia pokes the straw into the juice box and takes a sip. Hey, she's seen it done once before, it's not like she's got the learning curve of a rock. Her hand also draws back in readiness when Ichigo opens his mouth, her Idiocy Senses were tingling.
Until Tatsuki destroys any headwhacking preemptively.
She doesn't ask what's up, Ichigo already took care of that. So all she does now is blink at the other teen with a straw in her mouth.
"Hm?" Is Chad's response as Tatsuki comes bursting up on the roof. Ichigo's faster with his mouth than any of them there, so there's no need to ask 'what's up'. So he just waits for something else to happen. He can't go asking Tatsuki about Urahara NOW, with Keigo present (if a bit out of it).
Tatsuki Arisawa grins crookedly. "Oh, nothing," she says. "Chizuru's trying to grope me again and Orihime's gone off to Candyland again, so I figured I'd come up here and spend some time with you guys." She has been holding her satchel close to her chest as if keeping it secret, but now she hangs it low again, as per usual, and begins walking over. "If you don't mind, that is." She doesn't seem to particularly care if they mind, as she plops down in a spot against the fence in short order, satchel facing Ichigo. Which is about when he'll finally be able to catch sight of the new addition to that bag that she's been giggling about all day. It's a patch. An all too familiar patch...
11TH DIVISION
HONORARY MEMBER
"When's that psycho /not/ trying to grope you, anyway?" If it wasn't for Ichigo's rule against punching girls, Chizuru would have been knocked into orbit by now. Inoue's always in candyland too.
His friends are great, aren't they?
It takes him a moment to notice the patch. She sits, he goes back to being quiet until it catches his eye. Ichigo shoots straight up onto his feet and /points/ at the patch. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Here it goes.
Chad blinks. Stares. Then blinks again. The actual words on the patch don't register with his brain right away, instead the image of the patch comes to mind, he's SEEN something like that before...
*FLASHBACK TO SOUL SOCIETY!*
Bursting through a wall, Chad steps out on the rubble, just missing Ichigo and Ganju as they sprint off away from their opponents. The members of 11th division, angry at being interupted, try to take their anger out on Chad, only to get swatted in less than 5 minutes. They ALL had a patch like that, except theirs was missing the word 'Honorary'.
*END FLASHBACK*
"Hmm..." He thought he sensed Captain Zaraki's presence when he left the party the other night. But he can't even begin to imagine how Tatsuki was given that patch. This oughtta be a doozy.
Rukia peers at the patch, and smirks, even as Ichigo goes spastic somewhere next to her. "Zaraki-taicho's crazier than I thought he was," she remarks dryly. Her straw goes back into her mouth. Siiiiip.
"What, this?" Tatsuki asks, guilelessly. She knows; it's easy enough to tell tell from the twinkle in her eye. But obviously she can't talk about it in front of Pinky and the Brain, er, Keigo and Mizuiro, so instead she says, "It's the logo for a martial arts society. That guy I beat up at the festival gave it to me, or well, his partner did. I guess I don't actually meet the requirements to join yet, so they gave me an honorary one!"
This is almost 100% BS, but it sounds just plausible enough that people who aren't In The Know will probably buy it. Or so Tatsuki hopes.
Ah, that guy she beat up. That explains everything. How else would she get a patch like tha--wait. That guy she beat up couldn't have been Kenpachi?
KENPACHI?
Chad seems more visably put off by this than Ichigo is, though he's not shouting about it. After a moment he composes himself and sighs. Just what has been going on around here lately?
Ichigo's hand drops to his side, and he sinks back to the ground, looking like a cross between dejected and horrified. "I don't get it. I still don't get why he's /here/. Things are fine, aside from the giant robots, but, really, did they need to send /that/ crazy guy?"
Damn you, old man. Damn your sending of captains!
"If it makes you feel better, if he was sent down here, he'd have a limiter imposed on him," Rukia remarks, crossing her arms over her chest and glances at Ichigo askance. "He wouldn't be fighting in his full power in this plane." Might disappoint Tatsuki a little that Zaraki was fighting under a handicap, but that's the way it is.
"Besides...we have other things to worry about. I got a note regarding that thing you received during the Festival." She winks at him. "I found out where the postcard came from."
It is at this point that the bell rings. Oh those schoolbells. Always ringing at the worst possible time.
It doesn't help that it's PE, with that big jerk.
You know, the one who tried to get half the cast in trouble for a TV appearance? Yeah. Him.
A limiter? That's a bit better then. Chad breathes a sigh of relief. Afterall, his own trip through Soul Society was brought to a screeching halt by the first captain he ran into, and hearing that Tatsuki took down a captain was a bit of a shock.
But now he REALLY needs to find time to speak with her later.
It won't be now, though, the bells ring. And it's time for PE. To help things get back to a bit of normalacy, Chad walks over to the destitute Keigo and picks him up off the ground and puts him back on his feet. "Maybe you can get Chisa's number on the way to PE?"
Augh. Bell. Lame. At least it won't be boring. Ichigo rises to his feet and stuffs his hands into his pockets. The fact that Kenpachi's powers are limited doesn't mean much. He's crazy strong anyway, and has a strange obsession with fighting Ichigo.
"Guess we'd better get goin'." Stupid PE. He gets enough exercise running around and fighting the bad guys. At an easy pace, Ichigo heads for the door to the stairs. It's probably baseball or something today. Or running. How he hates running.
Rukia pushes off the rail, and once people start to file out for PE, she follows the rest, but lags behind. Why? Because she doesn't really get involved with PE. She lets other people do it. She does watch though.
Rukia Kuchiki, cheater.
Aww. Way to ruin the party, Rukia. She didn't actually win, you know. But Tatsuki's expression isn't that dampened by the news. She doesn't reply, just standing up and working her way downstairs along with the others. "Man, I hope it's not marathon again today," she mutters.
Oh, it might be Marathon for someone....Yes indeed...
But still, people are coming together for PE, and big jerk teacheris currently taking the roll. And debating what horrors he will inflict on the students this time. And wondering how best to shut up that kid who's humming the Jaws theme for some unknown reason.
Down the stairs goes Ichigo. He's not hurrying, but he's not being slow and pokey either. If he's late, he'll have to run laps.
Flash forward: Five minutes!
Ichigo's exactly where he's supposed to be. In the gym, getting his name taken down that he's here, and dreading whatever torture's up for them all.
Flash forwards are a fun and convenient way to bypass all the needless mucking about in hypersp--- changing. Yes, changing. So Chad is also fully changed into gym clothes, and ready to do whatever activity is lined up for today. Unlike Ichigo Chad really doesn't mind most of the PE activities. The instructor takes some getting used to though.
FLAAAAAASH FOOOOOOOORWWWWWWWWARD
Tatsuki is also present, in her gym outfit. She's a little ways off from the boys, standing with the girls. Orihime is...still gone. Worry worry worry.
The roll noted down, the jerk PE Teacher clears his throat. "Alright then! Today, for the boys, sprinting, for the girls, marathon! Are we clear?"
And yet, all of a sudden, Ichigo may, in fact, feel a sudden weight on his head. The weight of a small girl, who probably has pink hair and an incredible sense of balance. "That plans boring. Don't you think so, Ichi?"
The Jerk PE Teacher who's name is unknown blinks. "...Kurosaki, explain why you have a child on your head!" Yeah, that's right, single Ichigo out just because he has a tendency of having insane little girls pop out of nowhere and torment him.
Blink. Oh god. Why him. "If I knew why, I'd tell you." says Ichigo politely, if a touch tensely. His volume drops and he whispers viciously for Yachiru's ears only. "What're you doing here? You're going to get me in /trouble/!"
The pain never ends, does it?
Tatsuki Arisawa blinks, and looks over. ...hey, it's that little girl. What the hell is she doing here...?
No, Mister Kurosaki, the pain does not, in fact, ever end. Quite the opposite.
It gets worse.
Just as the PE Teacher is about to start berating Ichigo, the wall behind him shakes somewhat.
And then it shakes some more. And a small part of it collapses, as someone walks through.
"I guess he didn't get lost again...." Yachiru says, as she leaps off Ichigo's head towards the front of the room.
And before the PE Teacher can do anything else, he is promptly kicked out of the way, and sent skidding through the crowd, possibly crushing Keigo. Who knows. Who honestly cares?
And yes, yes it IS him, who is standing where the teacher formerly did .And yes, he is still wearing biker leathers.
"My name is Zaraki Kenpachi." He says, with a grin that should spread fear in the hearts of...well, Ichigo, mainly. "I am your new PE Teacher."
Blink. Blink. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP!?" There is, in fact, terror in the heart of Ichigo, but it's mostly full of disbelief. Maybe a bit of concern for his...old teacher and Keigo, but mostly disbelef and terror.
"You can't just /barge in/ and declare yourself a teacher! IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!" shouts Kurosaki, shaking a fist and pointing a quivering finger at the crazy-ass captain.
What /did/ he do to deserve this? It's probably Rukia's faut. SOMEHOW.
Watching from the window, Rukia FACEPALMS at what she sees. "You have to be kidding me," she mutters under her breath.
Tatsuki...stares. "What the...argh!" Of COURSE the maniacs charge in! Ichigo starts yelling, but Tatsuki...Tatsuki does something else. Something that might very well give Ichigo a heart attack.
Tatsuki charges in and tries to put Kenpachi in a headlock. "What the hell do you think you're doing you spiky-haired maniac!"
Tatsuki Arisawa successfully targets Kenpachi Zaraki with her HEADLOCK action.
Oh Tatsuki, when will you ever learn that headlocking Crazy people is never the answer.
Today, probably. She does, in fact, headlock Kenpachi. It's a very impressive headlock.
However, the fact is, Kenpachi can lift Tatsuki about a foot off the ground just by standing up. He is, you know, taller than Chad here.
However, it's not likely that that will be what gets Kenpachi out of the headlock.
It is more the fact that Yachiru goes for her head.
"No interrupting Ken-Chan!"
However, Kenpachi DOES still shoot A LOOK at Ichigo. "It works, damnit! I'm here, he's unconscious, I'm the new PE Teacher! Unless, Ichigo, you want to sort this out with a fight." Oh god. His teeth GLEAM. WITH EVIL.
See, Ichigo, this is why you do not interrupt Kenpachi's talking.
You successfully target Tatsuki Arisawa with your YACHIRU'D action.
Uryuu Ishida was a bit slow in changing for PE today. He finally arrives, fully expecting to be berated by the coach, and fully not caring in the least. Just in time to see the coach /slam/ into Keigo at speeds approaching Mach 1. "..." And then he sees Kenpachi, and Yachiru jumping off of Ichigo's head. "/.../"
And then Tatsuki puts him in her trademark headlock. Uryuu very nearly facefaults. "...I knew I should have stayed home today."
"AGH HEY NO TEETH BITING BAD WHAAAAA"
Tatsuki wrestles with Yachiru into the background.
Ichigo stares at Zaraki flatly, his fist clenching and shaking with raw irritation. "Oh no. You're not /goading me/, Kenpachi. I don't need to fight you, you crazy son of a....."
And now Yachiru is eating Tatsuki's head. This just gets better.
Especially since /everyone else/ is staring at Ichigo and the new 'teacher'. How is he going to explain /this/ away?
"You don't need to fight me?" Ichigo, what have you done? You've forgotten Kenpachi's new and terrible power.
"Today, everyone will be practicing martial arts of their choice. Pick a partner! ICHIGO! You're training with me!" He isn't paying any attention to Yachiru and Tatsuki's deadly fight to the death! Or the fact that they may need to explain this whole dealy or that there may be other captains in the area. Or, really, that many of the students may not know how to fight.
Oh god, how is the education board going to explain this one.
On the upside, it's still better than what Ikkaku and Yumichika have to do for THEIR covers.
In the background, Tatsuki barks, "Hah! And stay OH JESUS SHE'S GOT MY KNEE"
Ichigo's hands stop twitching, and he looks around. The door is /all the way/ on the other side of the gym. The death god looks to the rest of his classmates, feigning ignorance at this madman.
He looks at the door again and takes a small sliding step in that direction. Then another. He gives one more look around, hunting for help. Tatsuki will do no good, Ishida /might/, but likely his pleading looks will get him /nowhere/.
Which is why he bolts across the gym, running as fas as he can, darting towards the exit.
This may be like running away from a hunting tiger.
"Oh for GOD'S SAKE," Rukia mutters, turning around to leave the classroom she was using that was overlooking the gym area. Ugh. UGH. Why does she always have to try and bail him out of things that weren't even on consequence to begin with. At least here, she has an advantage. She knows how Ichigo thinks.
This plan involves a closet.
This will only end in tears.
Uryuu is fully determined to /not get involved/ with this little scene. Hiding his amusement at Ichigo's panic, he scoots off toward a corner of the room, intending to practice a bit on his own.
Oh dear. He ran. He knows what happens when you run from Kenpachi.
"FIGHT ME, ICHIGO!"
And with that, Kenpachi charges through the throng after Ichigo, grabbing a bokken off the prone form of the old teacher.
Kenpachi is leaving the building. This means one thing.
Yachiru is in charge.
Having attacked Tatsduki's knees succesfuilly, she stands up. "Okay! You heard Ken-Chan! Get to fighting! I bet he'll want to see a free for all by the time he gets back!" And then, she leaps for Tatsuki again.
"GET OUTTA MY WAY!" shouts Ichigo as he powers through the gym doors to the outside, nearly taking them off their hinges. He ventures a look backwards at Kenpachi who is catching up /and/ armed.
Who did he piss off?
Racing through the school Grounds, Ichigo blasts by a groundskeeper, swiping his rake. It wasn't Zangetsu, but it'd do in a pinch!
"QUIT CHASING ME YOU CRAZY BASTARD!" He kept running, right out into the baseball field.
Tatsuki is ready this time! "Hah! You won't catch me off guard again! Take THAAAAAAAAAH SHE BIT MY FOOT"
Oh god. How was she going to get him out of this?
Why the hell does she care anyways? Ichigo managed to beat Zaraki before, didn't he?
Then again, if he gets beat up by Zaraki in his human body, he wouldn't be in any shape to beat up Hollows. She could always do it, and she could always tag Renji for help, but that would only piss Ichigo off more considering he thinks it's his job. Ugh. This was ridiculous. How the hell is she going to pull this off?
As Ichigo streaks across the baseball field, she facepalms. Turning around, she leaps off in a different direction.
No Baseball Field is safe from the wrath of KENPACHI ZARAKI. The madman with the bokken chases after Ichigo at high speed. "GET BACK HERE, KUROSAKI!" And yes, yes he IS gaining.
There is no escape from GREAT TEACHER KENPACHI.
Back at the gym, though, the students are, depressingly enough, not fighting.
Which means ANGRY YACHIRU!
"KEN-CHAN TOLD YOU TO START FIGHTING!"
For those spiritually aware....ANGRY KITTY AURA! For those who aren't....SCARY LITTLE GIRL.
Needless to say, as Yachiru has her back turned to Tatsuki, the terrified students start doing two things. Grabbing weapons and trampling Keigo and teh Old Teacher. Most of it purposefully with the latter.
CHAAAAAAAAAANCE! Tatsuki winds up and stares at Yachiru what the hell is that! But...no! No time to be scared of little girls now! She bounds forward, trying to literally tackle Yachiru to the ground.
This may or may not end up with her plastered to the floor by sheer virtue of Yachiru's Death Spirit Kitty Technique.
Ichigo takes a glance back and swears. He's gaining. Great. He turns back around and realizes that that tall fence is really close. Too close to stop in time. "OH CRAP!" Clank. Rattle! "...Ow.." Facefirst into the chain link.
This means Kenpachi will catch up. Ichigo turns and holds the rake by the handle, but the head makes it unwieldy. He tries it the other way, but the head's in the way. "Stupid thing!" he mutters before he breaks the rake head off and hucks it over the fence. Kenpachi will get what he wants this time.
Annnnd, that rake head gets chucked over the fence. Where's there's an audible 'WHACK' and a yell of "OW! Who threw that?!"
Of course, if one is one Ichigo Kurosaki....then that voice is verrrrrrrrrrrrrry familiar. A moment later, Isshin Kurosaki's head pops up above fence level, then the doctor pulls himself over the fence, rubbing a bump on his head and eyeing his son. And completely missing the charging Kenpachi.
"Oh! Ichigo! What are you doing defacing school rakes and chucking them at passerby for, huh? And aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"
Annnnd, with that, the Real Doctor Of Karakura advances on his son, finally noticing the Charging Giant Guy With A Pointy Sword. And, shrugging, he points a finger at Kenpachi, using his most fearsome Real Doctor Power to explain something to the Bell Wearing Pointy Hair.
"You! Hold on! I have dibs!"
Somewhere behind Isshin, Rukia peeks around the mad doctor's body.
Yes, THIS time, it's all Rukia's fault. Sadly, she was trying to diffuse the situation by introducing one crazy with another crazy, but the first crazy seems hellbent on getting Ichigo too.
Oh dear.
A helpless look on her face, she sweatdrops. "Oops."
Ichigo looks between his dad on one side of the fence, and Kenpachi on this side. What the hell is /wrong/ with this world!
INTERNAL MONOLOGUE!
"Hey. You. Hollow. A little help here?
"You're on your own, partner."
"Oh come on! Ravaging, killing people? Free of charge, help me out!"
"There are /crazy/ people out there. Sorry."
Ichigo looks back and forth between his dad and Kenpachi again, and tightens his grip on the rake handle. "This nutjob wants me to fight him!"
Kenpachi Zaraki skids to a halt in front of Ichigo. And pauses. "I've been chasing him, damnit! As the new PE Teacher, I can't have students running away in the middle of class! ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SHOULD BE FIGHTING ME!" Poor Ichigo, Trapped between a rock and a pair of crazy men intent on making his life hell.
But, back at the gym, Tatsuki has succesfully tackled Yachiru! Oh my! In fact, Yachiru is on the ground, as Tatsuki has gained the upper hand.
However, a pair of Cheer Squad Members seem to be investigating the mess.
"Ikkaku?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did we let the vice-captain talk us into doing this?"
"Do /YOU/ want to have to deal with her having a tantrum?"
Tatsuki grapples with Yachiru, keeping the little shorty subdued by locking her arms. "Gotcha now, you little gnome!" she jeers.
Uryuu totally sneaks out while nobody is watching.
One day, Orihime and Rukia will be conned into cheerleading uniforms.
This will only end with much slaughter.
The Real Doctor hmmmmms, and strokes his chin, nodding seriously as he listens to both sides of the argument.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. A difficult decision! After all, Ichigo, he is the current teacher, you know. Hmmmm. On the other hand, you are currently being a rather poor example of a teacher! I mean, concentrating on one student and not overseeing your own class! That, after all, is irresponsible! Therefore...CRAZY ISSHIN SCREW KICK!"
And, Lo, To the HOrror of Ichigo...Isshin attempts to punt Zaraki, in the head, back towards the gym.
"HOLY CRAP!" exclaims Ichigo, lowering his guard.
On one hand, why was Isshin here? On the other, he just booted Kenpachi in the /head/.
This is so confusing!
Isshin Kurosaki hits Kenpachi Zaraki with his CRAZY ISSHIN SCREW KICK attack.
You take 18 damage.
Wait. THE PLAN! It's working!
Now was her chance. Rukia hurries to the chainlink fence. "What are you waiting for?" she hisses under her breath towards Ichigo. "MOVE while the two psychos are fighting each other!"
Kenpachi would have a witty response to that, but he just got kicked in the head. So he doesn't. In fact, that actually kinda hurt. Stupid Gigai. Now, there is only one response to being kicked in the head, when you have a Bokken.
Responding by hitting your opponent with a stick, as he brings the practice sword round to 'slash' Isshin. "Heh. Since it looks like I won't be brining Ichigo back to class, you'll have to keep me busy."
As for Tatsuki and Yachiru, well, just because you have someone in youyr grip, doesn't mean they can't SEND YOU FLYING WITH DEATHKITTY. Oh yes, very bad move, Tatsuki, insulting Yachiru like that. It's a good hing those two new Yell Leaders come rushing in, through the crowd, to hold her back.
They might even be trying to drag her out, it's hard to tell, what with the struggling.
You get a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with your ZARAKI SECRET TECHNIQUE: HIT WITH STICK attack.
Ichigo looks at the melee betwen the crazy man and his crazy dad, then to Rukia. "Right! coming!" he says and starts to climb the fence, rake handle in hand. He pauses, though and calls out. "Pops! Catch!" he then hucks the rake handle at Isshin before scrambling the rest of the way over the fence and hops down. Looking to Rukia, he speaks again before he takes off running. "Let's get outta here."
*BONK*
"...Owwwwwwwww! Hey, that hurt!"
And, lo, the battle is joined, as Isshin Kurosaki, distracted from his attempt to chase Ichigo for playing hookey, frowns and turns back to Kenpachi, the REAL DOCTOR frowning as he retaliates with the nearest object at hand. Namely...it's the rake head. Which is chucked at Kenpachi's shin, afore the REAL DOCTOR (TM) grabs the rake handle and then uses the ANCIENT KUROSAKI TECHNIQUE HANDED DOWN THROUGH THE AGES.
And he attempts to bonk Kenpachi on the head.
Keep in mind, practicing Kurosaki Ninjutsu, Isshin is counting on the bright and vibrant colors of his shirt to demoralize and/or distract his opponent!
Isshin Kurosaki gets a glancing blow on Kenpachi Zaraki with his ANCIENT KUROSAKI NINJA TECHNIQUE: BONK attack.
You take 7 damage.
What, wait, run? With HIM? Then again without her he might get in trouble. "Oi, Ichigo!" Rukia calls, but he's running again, and she starts taking off with him. She can keep up with him pretty easily, despite the fact that he was a foot taller than her. But she makes quick work of the pavement, looking over her shoulder once as she watches Isshin engage Kenpachi.
o O (....there's something about the way that man fights that's familiar....)
Could be because Ichigo fights similarly, perhaps? She's not sure, but since Isshin can scare ANYONE, she's sure the doctor will be fine. And so off she goes with Ichigo. To 'play hooky' from school.
Tatsuki Arisawa goes rocketing across the gym, and lands hard against the wall. There is a crater, and she's out, folks.
Tatsuki Arisawa hits herself with her THUD super.
Oh god, Kenpachi got ninja'd in the head. By the frilly shirt ninja, no less! Thus, Kenpachi retaliates, swinging round to hit Isshin in the ribs. And then he notices something.
"Damnit! Where's Ichigo gone?"
As for Yachiru, she is, rather painstakingly, dragged out by Ikkaku and Yumichika. Just as the bell for then end of class rings. Whoo. Lucky escape for those students.
You critically strike Isshin Kurosaki with your STICK +1 attack.
Ichigo circles wide around the Baseball field, doing his best to avoid line of sight with his dad or Kenpachi. Does he plan on going back to school today? Not really.
"That man is /screwed up/." Whether Ichigo refers to his dad or Kenpachi is a touch vague. Maybe both! "What's his problem? I don't want to fight him anymore!" Whine, whine, whine.
Isshin hmmms in annoyance as he's smacked in the ribs, and is about to retaliate...when he pauses, his rake handle hovering an inch away from Kenpachi's nose.
"...Huh. You're right! We can't let him do that! He'd be a delinquent!"
And, without looking to see if Kenpachi's following, Isshin sprints and vaults the fence, landing easily as he glances towards the fleeing fugitives. Well, they are quite far away...he'd better yell to make himself heard!
"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIGO! YOU BETTER NOT BE PLAYING HOOKEY SO YOU CAN TRY AND MAKE OUT WITH RUKIA AGAIN! COME BACK HERE, YOU PUNK!"
ANd, in a more...ummm...okay, normal doesn't apply to Isshin. Quieter? Yes. Yes. That'll work...
"Speedy Kurosaki Pursuit Running Technique!" ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! THE CHASE IS ON!
VAULT over the fence? Who needs to vault? Kenpachi makes a living out of going THROUGH such flimsy objects. Which is what he does, as he too joins the chase for Ichigo.
"GET BACK HERE, KUROSAKI!" He yells, keeping up with Isshin. On the downside, he doesn't have Yachiru with him to navigate.
If that's a downside.
"He's going to obsess over you for the rest of your life, until he beats you," Rukia points out. "Ugh. That's the problem with male pride in the battlefield..." she mutters under her breath. She follows Ichigo make a wide berth around the baseball field, and then starts off into the nearby bushes to have the foilage shield her as she starts making her way away from school.
"Looks like you're skipping school again, but at least this time you have an excuse." She sighs and shakes her head, looking a little irritated. Until his father yells what he does, and the crash.
Oh ****! "Ichigo, run!"
"DAMMIT WHY ME!?" shouts Ichigo as he takes off again, tearing off at full speed towards the school building.
No hookey this time. At full speed, breathing heavily, Ichigo charges back towards the school building. He's going to be late for his next class, but his dad is here! He'll be off the hook, right? Right?
Dammit. They're probably going to catch him, too. From now on? Kon's going to school, and Ichigo's patroling.
HMMMMM!
"You! He's getting away! However, I have a cunning plan!"
See, Kenpachi's good at going through the objects that Isshin has to take a moment to clamber over. Which is why, in his cunning, Isshin skids to a halt, snags one of Kenpachi's arms as he passes, and swings himself up, planting a foot on his shoulder and the other on his back.
As a bonus...extra height! Which enables absurdly accurate directions!
"THAT WAY! HE'S HEADING FOR THE SCHOOL! Hmmmm! We won't make it on time! Do you have any ideas?!"
"Gah!" Okay, Kenpachi was NOT expecting to be used like a surfboard. But damnit, the crazy doctor was right. If he's going to fight Ichigo, he only has one chance. "Just the one." He grins, before leaping into the air, and grabbing Isshin off his back. Oh god. This can only end in one way.
You miss Ichigo Kurosaki with your PARENT-TEACHER ANTI DELINQUINCY TECHNIQUE - THE INCREDIBLE FLYING DOCTOR attack.
Isshin Kurosaki hits Rukia Kuchiki with his COLLATERAL DAMAGE PARENT-TEACHER ANTI-DELINQUENCY MISGUIDED MISSILE TECHNIQUE attack.
"Ichigo, watch out!"
The parent-teacher attack, for some reason, misses. This is a good thing.
The bad thing is, it has inexplicably switched directions, and is now bearing for her. Her eyes widen.
SLAMCRASHBAM! Poor Rukia. She weighed NOTHING compared to these guys. In fact one could barely see her in the tangle of arms, legs, limbs, and rubble that results afterwards.
Oh dear.
"Hmmmmm. Are you sure about thi-"
CHUNK. THROW. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUUUUUU DELLLLLLLLLINUQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEENT!"
Annnnnnd, Isshin is hurled, at hih speed, at his Strawberry-head of a son. And then past him. Luckily, his fal is broken by something else Isshin blinks, and glances down at the back of Rukia's head.
"... ...Hmmmm. Well! There appear to be no major injuries!"
Isshin stands up, pulls Rukia up out of the wreckage, dusts himself off, and then turns, LOOMING OVER ICHIGO!
"IIIIIIIICHGO! ...You shouldn't skip class, you know. Oh, and you forgot your allowance for the week."
Isshin calmly hands over an envelope to Ichigo, then strolls off of the campus, whistling cheerfully, looking none the worse for wear considering he jsut got ker-chucked by Zaraki.
And, on the way out, he pauses to point at Kenpachi. "AND YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR AIM, SIR!" Walkwalkwalk
They did the one thing that would make him stop.
Alright, if he had gotten nailed, it would have hurt, too, but this is for honor now! Ichigo skids to a stop and rounds on Kenpachi, envelope of cash in hand. He clenches a fist and storms right up to the mountain of meat. He waits a moment for Isshin to get out of earshot and jabs a finger at the Captain. "Fine. You wnt to fight me? Two days from now. Urahara's secret place. Just you and me, all out. Win or lose, you have to leave me alone." A pause. "Deal?"
Rukia's going to eat his head for this.
Probably, but right now she's a little dazed. Rukia's body is propped on the side of the wall, her eyes looking like swirlies and looking....well, not so well. She's conscious, at least, but the world looks funny at the moment, and she could vaguely hear masculine voices saying one thing or another. But at present, once Isshin sets her there and turns around to address Ichigo, her body slides down.
o O (I can't feel my body).
Why? Why does everyone be heavier than she is?
Kenpachi Zaraki blinks. And then he grins. "Fine. Two days." I mean, sure, Ichigo is hoping alot to be left alone after the fight, and, really, who can believe Kenpachi will stop, but hey, he's got his fight, now! "You'd better have gotten better since last time!" He shouts, as he starts to wander off. Class dismissed, I guess.
Or in the nurse's office. Whatever!
Ichigo Kurosaki smirks a bit at Kenpachi's retreating back. "Heh heh heh...he has no id--Oh crap. Rukia!" He turns and rushes back to the tiny death god and reaches down to help her to her feet. He's going to feel so guilty for this. It's all his fault!
'Are you OK? My dad's such a dumbass."
She weighs next to nothing. Picked up and leaning on the taller death god, Rukia's eyes open just a little bit wider. "Your father's so heavy," she tells him, lifting a hand to rub the side of her head. "Where am I?" Alright, so maybe the impact knocked some stuff around, but Ichigo's familiar, so she's sticking with him. "....Ichigo, what'd you just do?" If she were in her right mind, she'd DESTROY him right here, but at present, she's a little too dazed to do any of that. Instead, she just hangs onto him for support.
Aw. How cute.
Stupid gigais and their weaknesses.
She likes it, despite denial (It is inevitable). Obviously Ichigo cares more about her welfare than being seen helping her back to school. "My pop eats too much, yeah. We're still on school grounds and going back in." He pauses for a moment, hoping she's too maimed to punch him in the face.
"I, uh, said I'd fight Kenpachi in two days, in Sandal-Hat's basement training pit."
Annnnnd, recovering quickly, OBVIOUSLY due to the influence of Tatsuki-chan's frequent beatings, and NOT BECAUSE OF ANY NEFARIOUS PLOTS, Keigo heads towards class...just in time to see things.
At which point, he drops to his knees, tears running down his cheeks.
"IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S JUST NOT FAIR! EVEN ICHIGO HAS A GIRL HANGING ON HIM! WHY NOT MEEEEEEEEE?!"
"........" Rukia stares at him. She'd punch him right now, but she'll only miss. It doesn't help that Keigo says what he does, but she has learned to ignore him by now. Instead, as she's helped back towards the school, her back hunched over because SOME VERTEBRAE were knocked out of alignment, she just shakes her head, growling under her breath.
"You better kick his ass," she mutters, her head dropping into his shoulder, and probably causing Keigo to BAWL EVEN MORE.
Why her?
"What? Me lose? Worst that'll happen is that, like last time, we'll both fall over at the same time." And the cycle will continue, and the world will explode. This isn't mentioned by Ichigo, though. That's just unnecessary pessimism. "When have I ever lost when it counted? Never." Except when Byakuya came to arrest her, but that doesn't count.
"C'mon. Let's get you to the infirmary or something." Off they go! Luckily she's light, so he won't get tired.
Her mouth opens up to say something, but Ichigo's already half-leading, half-carrying her towards the infirmary. Rukia only sighs, exasperatedly, shaking her head, and while she wouldn't admit it, she appreciated the support.
So off they go. Undoubtedly to make out.