Annual Tendo Christmas Party
WHO: Ranma Saotome, Akane Tendo, Shampoo, Mousse, Kagara, Ukyo Kuonji, A-ko Magami, Haruhi Suzumiya, Yuki Nagato, Kyon, Koyori Kokubunji
WHERE: Tendo Home, Nerima Ward
WHEN: Around the Christmas season some night
WHAT: The Tendos host their annual Christmas party, and everyone's invited! ...And we do mean everyone. Things get messy when Happosai puts up the Cursed Mistletoe of Aphrodite. Whoever kisses beneath that fatal sprig will fall in love...FOREVER. And of course, there's the usual chaos that goes on whenever Ranma's rivals are in the room.
It seems that everything is *just* about set for the Christmas party. The guests are already gathering in the central dojo, snacking on the appetizers crafted by Kasumi's loving hands. The plate of hors d'ouevres crafted by Akane's loving hands are strangely untouched. There's half of a little rice ball, the only sign that some poor brave (or unwitting) soul at least gave it a try. But where are they now? In the bathroom. Crying. And pleading with every deity that comes to mind to be relieved of this suffering.
On the third platform of a stepladder, the devil chef herself is looking very undevilish, pressing a thumbtack between strands of Christmas lights just over the doorway. She's smiling, so things must be going well. So far.
"Akane-chan!"
Akane blinks, looking down at the tiny wrinkled old man who stares up at her with much-too-big sparkling watery eyes. "Ah? Happosai? What is it?" It must be something serious if he's not greeting her with a flying glomp-grope attack.
"I...I...I REALLY WANT TO HELP! PLEASE ACCEPT THIS MISTLETOE AND HANG IT OVERHEAD!" he suddenly cries out, lifting both cupped hands to present a sprig of the green leaves and white berries, neatly bound with a blue ribbon.
...Mistletoe? Akane blinks, examining it curiously. Then she smiles. "Sure, no problem!" She stretches out her hands, affixing it to the thumbtack. Unseen by the girl, Happosai's eyes suddenly glow aflame with determination.
~Ha ha ha, everything is going according to plan! The Cursed Mistletoe of Aphrodite is in place. Any pair that kiss beneath it are destined to be in love forever!~ Visions of himself surrounded with the harem of lovely Nerima lasses fawning over him in skimpy outfits dance through the old man's head. Oh yes. Now all he has to do...is wait. And look up Akane's skirt as long as she's up there on that ladder.
As we return our attention to the center of the Tendo Dojo, we come to the famed freeloader Ranma Saotome, bringing a few chairs in to set by the snack tables, in case anyone decides to sit down for a tick. As he is unable to do anything without turning it into training, he's seeing how many he can carry at once. Thus, the stack of twenty-three.
Ranma quickly sets the chairs out one-by-one, eyeing Happosai suspiciously as he does so. But the old freak seems to be behaving himself so far. Ah, well, maybe even he's caught the Christmas spirit. Ranma shrugs and snaps up a plate from the table. "Anything Goes Dining Style... Ten Thousand Hands Descending on the Buffet Table!" His hand blurs out at near-supersonic speed, quickly piling up a stack of Kasumi's snacks on his plate.
Something jingles.
/Merrily/.
Sadaharu has been decked out in a Santa hat and a jingle-bell collar in recognition of the season, and Kagura is wearing what would appear to be some sort of reindeer suit, complete with red clown nose and antlers! As it is, however, the #5 most popular individual in Newtype Magazine looks determined while coming up towards the Tendo family household.
"Hm," Kagura muses aloud. "This may be a difficult job." She leans forwards to pat Sadaharu's fluffy neck: "I'm not sure they have enough parking!"
Joy and rapture! Ukyo is back in Nerima from a training trip? Aren't guys delighted? Shampoo certainly was. No really. Still Ukyo's tickled pink that she made it back in time for festivities with her Ran-chan! .. and Akane and the others too. Mustn't forget that they exist as well.
She's got her neatly wrapped present under one arm -- two actually, one for Akane, one for Ranma! -- and on the way to the Tendo residence, she's busy entertaining herself with romantic delusi-- Uh, fantasies. Yes, herself and Ranma, alone at least, standing beneath the mistletoe! Ranma will confess his love for her, Ukyo blushes! As appropriate, dramatic music cues up int he background as Ukyo leans up to the taller hunk 'a sexy and ...
-Walks smack into a streetlamp. "OW!" Ukyo steps back, snapped out of her daydream and /glares/ at the offending object. You all saw it! It came out of nowhere! Just when Ukyo was getting to the good part. But on the plus side, she's reached the destination!
"Ran-chan! Akane-chan?" She has arrived! WORSHIP HER!
And oh how she hopes no one saw her walk into that street light.
A CHRISTMAS PARTY? A CHRISTMAS PARTY! Yes, it's still CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Certainly the Tendo Christmas Party has become a titan of an event. What's the worse that can happen?
...you know something /WILL/ happen when these words and most of the Ranma 1/2 cast is in ONE PLACE.
Yes. Anyway, back to the scene. Does Ukyo think she's the only one invited to the Special, Fun Fun Party of Doom? Well she's WRONG! Here comes everyone's favorite Amazon, Shampoo! She's brought a gift, and it's obvious who it's for! <3 Beaming happily, the girl jumps down from the fence with her bike, the tires screeching to a halt outside the residence. She then brings it inside. "Ni-hao~~~! <3 I come to party!"
...Can it get any worse?
No, Ukyo, Mousse didn't see you walk into that lightpole! He was too putting the finishing touches to his very own evil plan, you see. Something is quickly stuffed into his shirt sleeve with a stifled evil chuckle, just before he flash-steps into view in front of the Tendo dojo.
(Ranma flash-steps > Bleach shunpo. Take /that/, Ichigo!)
With a final adjustment of his glasses, the Amazon walks into the front-yard, marching straight for the party center with his hands hidden, as usual, within his shirt-sleeves. And since it wouldn't be right to show up for a Christmas party looking his usual unjolly clothing, he's donned a festive Santa hat and a red 'n green scarf. Its cold outside!
Now, A-ko Magami is not really the type to crash parties. Why, what did that witch B-ko tell you?? It's not true! However, since this party seemed to be open to whoever wanted to come, it's not really gatecrashing! And her father said that legal loopholes were only for supervillains.
Dressed in a winter coat over a strapless red dress (it's a lot more casual than it sounds, really) and a pair of gray boots below. In her hands, a Christmas cake! Because it's nice to take presents to your host or hostess. She can hear what sounds like a party getting underway just a little further down the street, and picks up the pace a bit.
Kagura brought the best present of all - Kagura!
She gets off of the giant puppy-dog and pats his head again. "Stay here," she instructs him.
Sadaharu attempts to bite her arm, putting holes into the reindeer costume and making Kagura laugh happily, at which point her other hand comes around in a clenched fist to punch him square in the noise. Sadaharu yelps, barely, and Kagura says warmly, "You big silly!"
After a brief hug, and ripping the sleeve of the reindeer costume off because it looks ugly now, Kagura heads inside, towards where the food seems to be.
Akane descends the ladder, dusting off her hands before folding it up and hoisting it off to the storage shed. Seems the decorations are complete! Besides, there's something she wants to check on in there.
Her head snaps back and forth, making certain she isn't followed by any two-bit goons (aka Everyone But Kasumi), then dashes into the shed and slams the door shut behind her. Hidden under a bright blue tarp is a square box with a ribbon tied around it. She pulls the ribbon loose and lifts up the box to peek inside. Good. Ranma's Christmas gift is just how she left it. Considering the usual shenanigans that go on around this home, particularly during the holidays, Akane is right to check. She smiles a bit, then glances over her shoulder before shutting the box and tying it again with the ribbon. After the party, then. It'll have less chance of getting 'accidentally' destroyed by a rival.
Meanwhile, at the front door, Happosai is humming to himself and attaching a 1000 yen bill onto a fishing line. He quickly thrusts the rod behind his back to hide it when Ukyo enters, flashing her a biiiiiiiiig grin. "Ohhhhh, Ukyo, aren't we looking lo-ve-ly today! Come, my girl, come! There's something I want to show you!" He tugs at her sleeve, hoping to lead her towards... THE MISTLETOE.
"Wishing you a Merry Christmas~! <3 Now, where Ranma?" Bright, brown eyes glance about the Tendo home for the familiar pigtailed one, a hand held at her head to look off in a distance. Whatever distances there are, anyway. She totally ignores everyone else as she scouts around.
All is going according to plan, ho ho ho. "Shampoo, you're here!" Mousse's face lights up with the goofy smile of love-struck Amazon boy and, in an instant, his hands burst out from the sleeves chock-full of gifts: A dozen long-stem roses, a box of chocolates, and two awkwardly wrapped Christmas boxes. "I got these for you! Say, is that /mistletoe/ you're standing underneath? You know what /that/ means!"
Why yes, Shampoo is standing under a bundle of mistletoe! And not the leaves Happosai helped set up either! Just where did they come from? Perhaps the shuriken its tied to that's embedded into the ceiling has something to do with it!
Oh thank god. Ukyo would have been humiliated if someone had seen it. "Ranma honeeeeey o/~" Ukyo continues, her voice lilting into sing-song as she prowl-- er, stalk -- er.. WALKS up the path. Dun-na, dun-na.. he must be hiding. Fool! Ukyo will find you! And hopefully before the other girls do. See? She's calling dibs! Back off!
AAAAAH ogodshe'sbeing attacked! Wrinkled moleman! Help, Help! I'm being oppressed! .. Oh it's just Happosai. EEeeew. Ukyo scowls, shaking her arm, "What do you want Happosai?" There will be no looking up of /her/ dress, because she's not wearing one! she's wearing pants. Nyah. Still she's feeling charitable (for now) and follows -- until she sees what he's pointing at. "Mistletoe..!" Well, why not? It will surely make her wildest (and not so wild) dreams come twue! But if that shriveled old pervert thinks she's going to lock lips with him -- ohgod she may be sick and she hasn't even eaten Akane's cooking yet -- he'd better think again! "Hey look, there's Shampoo," Ukyo points at the Amazon and.. and look! An A-ko and a Kagura! More pretty girls than you can shake a stick at! "Go bother -her-." Ukyo suggests to Happosai with a bright smile. Yes. Go distract the competition!
Ranma got Akane something too! That's right. He certainly didn't forget, no sir. He has yet to check on his hiding place, though. Hopefully he'll get a chance to soon. For now, though, Ranma just wants to sit down with his plate of snacks and --
"Now, where Ranma?" "Ranma-honeeeeeey!"
Hide under the snack table. Two blue eyes peek out from underneath the tablecloth, and the martial artist scouts out the room, skillfully pinpointing all escape routes and locations of mistletoe. He can't help it, it's a reflex.
Kagura looks forwards at the dirty old man with the short and withered body. Her hands fold behind her back and she smiles, predaceously, towards him.
Actually, she just sees the 1000-yen bill, which would totally buy a snack later. She is also perhaps somewhat unusual looking, considering the reindeer costume (minus one arm).
Out on the street, Sadaharu starts chewing a car bumper.
"Oiiiii, Ranma!" Kagura calls, a moment later. Perhaps the dulcet (if loud) tones of her voice will be comforting, for there are worse things in these worlds than a loli, and at least Kagura can be dealt with via violence.
Shampoo is...suddenly covered in loveydove Mousse attention. She doesn't look amused now. The search of Ranma is put off for the moment as she crosses her arms over her silk long sleeve with a mandarin collar, her loose pants hanging elegantly as she shifts her weight on one leg. At least, she would cross her arms, but now they hold Mousse's gifts. Yay.
And...mistletoe? Uh-uh. Not with Mousse. "....." With no response, she just kicks. Now, were there any rules about kicking someone to get out of getting kissed?
ELSEWHERE - a chill breeze dramatically blows down the empty streets leading to the Tendo Dojo. It's not snow. Are those...black rose petals?
Leaving her coat with the others, A-ko adjusts her top over in the corner where nobody will probably see her. There, pulled all the way up! And possibly fabric-glued in place. Akane 'Knocker'jima didn't do the character designs for A-ko's universe. T_T
She pauses in front of the table to take her cake out of the box and set it out with the other food, not realizing that there's a panicked young man underneath it. Thank goodness her skirt's longer than usual! Once that's taken care of A-ko picks up the empty box and tosses it away into the trashcan, ready to enjoy the party and maybe make some friends, too! Whoever did the decorations must've really worked hard, and it totally feels like Japanese Christmas. The redhead clasps her hands in front of her and looks out over the room, considering who she should talk to first. They all look kinda busy! Seems someone is missing...?
GLEAM!!!! A flash of eager light appears in Happosai's eye. With an audible sound effect, too! "Right this way, right this way, eeeeeeheeeeeeeee..." He puts a hand to his mouth to stop a gleeful little chuckle. "Oh rest assured, I'll bother her too, yes yes..." He'll bother them ALL, including that sweet little number in the red dress, and the feisty girl that just punched her dog. Newcomers are always welcome in Le Harem de Happosai! And the very moment that Ukyo's foot passes beneath the archway that leads into the hall, he executes an amazing cartwheel into the air, passing overhead, to daintily land on one pointed foot atop Ukyo's shoulder. His wrinkled mouth puckers up, and he aims his smacker right...for...her.......cheek. Hey, it wasn't specific about WHERE the kiss took place!
A-ko could talk to the nice young bespectacled man that's flying right past her. Mousse impacts into a far wall, with his arms, legs, and glasses all askew in horribly painful angles. (Horribly painful for anyone who isn't immune to Nerima physics.) "... that was some kiss, Shampoo ..."
Over by the snack table, there appears to be an enormous, fat panda with squinty eyes. It scoops up snack after snack with chubby paws, cramming each delicious morsel into its mouth. And what's this, a fruit tray? Snatching up an assortment of produce, the panda bear juggles each and every piece in a dizzying circle, then opens its mouth to catch each one, bite by bite by bite. Good-bye apple! Good-bye grapes! Goodbye banana! Then he turns his thick head, spitting out the apple core, the grape stick, and the banana peel. Such talent!
...Wait, a banana peel? zomg! Sure hope nobody SLIPS on that.
"Awk!" A body goes flying past her and A-ko gets this strange feeling of vuja-de... not deja-vu, but the feeling that this has happened before except this time it's not happening to her. She's not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but hey, at least it's not /her/ picking drywall out of her hair! "Geez! Are you okay?"
Risking life and limb in service to mankind, A-ko heroically pulls Mousse away from his very own personal wall niche. THUD. "You look... kinda broken."
Leave it to Happosai to make 'bothering' someone sound so... dirty. Unfortunately Ukyo is so focused on finding her darling Ranma, she fails to notice the dire extreme DANGER she is in! OHGOD Ukyo turn around! RUn! Look out!
~Mwah!~
Rice papery, icky, wrinkled, dirty old man lips make contact with delicate, young, untouched skin! Oh woe, she had been saving that for RANMA, now no one will marry Hime!!
Wait, wrong series.
Startled, reflex takes over as Ukyo WHIRLS with RIGHTEOUS! INDIGNATION! "WHA.. WHat the #$@ DO you think you're DOING youuu........handsome man! <3" Ranma? Ranma WHO? Pfft!
Dear god. Ukyo has finally cracked. Bad enough she has to contend with three other women, but the weight of her delusions has finally come crashing down! She realized that she and Ranma will never be more than friends and .. her aspirations take a heavy blow. Gone from cute stud Ranma to scraping the bottom of the garbage bin barrel. Oh how low we have sunk Ukyo.
"I.. .. I never realized it before ..!" It's WUV. Twue Wuv! Ranma would never look twice at her, and here Happosai has been here for her all along!
..Wut.
"Shampoo no kiss duck," Shampoo huffs in response to A-ko, wanting to place her hands on her hips but cannot. Instead, she moves to the side of the mistletoe to see what exactly Mousse got her. Might as well if he went through all the trouble of getting her stuff.
*crinkle rip tear*
"......" She holds the qipao in front of her, the small size obviously not matching her completely. Eyebrows furrow. She goes marching over to Mousse, the qipao slung over her shoulder as she rolled up a sleeve.
Just then, a whole stream of black rose petals float frenzily about the area, paired with.../that voice/.
"O~HOHOHOHOHOHO~!!!! Ranma Dar~ling!" The black stain ribbon twirls through the air as Kodachi Kuno appears on the scene, pristine and snobbish as usual. A black rose is now placed between ruby red lips as she steps cautiously, her skirt swaying from the remaining breeze. She smirks.
Look Ranma - more doom! :D :D :D XD
It's okay, Ranma. Not everyone has good social skills. For some people, this party is an absolute nightmare! But it's worth it to be in this crush of people, if only to be near the one they love. "Heeeeeffffffff...heeeeeefffffff..." The sound of creepy breathing sounds uncomfortably close to Ranma's elbow. Seems someone else has taken up refuge in this comfortable place of shadowy shadows.
With a camcorder.
Gosunkugi titters nervously, lowering the eyepiece of the camcorder to peer out beneath the tablecloth. The dark rings under his eyes appear particularly malevolent in the blinking red glow of the 'record' light. And he doesn't seem to notice that Ranma is there...until now. His head slowly turns, mouth open in a slightly unnerving smile. *Blink!* He stares for a moment. Puts down the camcorder. Then lifts up a hammer and a nail as he reaches out towards Ranma's forehead. Why attack a voodoo doll when the real thing is right here?
Kagura has moved on and forwards, and is using her non-reindeer-costumed arm to collect buffet treats. She understands buffet etiquette; that is why she has only taken one plate and is working to empty it before she takes more! That one plate, in this case, contained the rice balls; she has it held against her with one hand, and is feeding herself with it, eating each delicately-packed ball of rice in two massive bites.
She turns her head to look at Kodachi, unaware of what's going on under the table, and picks up another rice ball. "Oi," she says to her, biting into the rice ball and then speaking with a faint lisp around her mouthful of food, "Are you crazy or are you just an S&M queen?" She then swallows the mouthful and reaches up to adjust her plush felt antlers.
"I- I'm fine." Sure, his festive hat looks a little flat now, there's scuff marks all over his nice white shirt, and his glasses are still bent in a funny shape, but if Mousse's in pain, he sure doesn't look like it! Not with the determined gleam reflecting off of his glasses. "I can't be broken, not as long as my heart beats for Shampoo- and here she comes! She's coming to thank me for her gift!" With a rolled-up sleeve and That Look. Uh oh. Shields up, and Duckboy raises his hands with a defensive flail. "Was it the wrong color? Oh, look! You're under another mistletoe!"
Yep, there's another mistletoe-tied shuriken stuck to the ceiling above Shampoo. They're multiplying!
Oh, great. Mistletoe just keeps popping up all over the place here! What kind of thing were the Tendos thinking?! Of course, it's all misunderstanding! Gotta love it. Shampoo gives a dark grin, her arm rising just as Mousse comes around and distracts her with the cursed thing. She looks upward. "...how?!"
Kodachi blinks, her brow furrows. Rose petals still scatter all over the ground and on the table (eh, the food, too) as she takes the rose from her mouth. A gasp escapes her as she starts to sound worked up. "What...did you call me?!" The Black Rose places her gift for her darling to her chest as she strides toward the antlered Kagura. "You DARE call Kodachi, the Black Rose, an S&M Queen?!"
Happosai cackles madly. Victory! Success! "Yes, my little spitfire! It is I, your darling Happosai! You'll take me home and care for me, won't you?" He clings to her neck, making with the big goopy old man eyes as he nuzzles his cheek against hers. "And you'll go fetch me a big plate of snacks, and feed them to me with your delicate little fingers, won't you?" Sparkle sparkle! "Atta lass!" He hops down, aiming a playful swat at her rear. "Happy will be waiiiiiiiting!"
Now to catch more. More! MORE! He snatches up his fishing rod and dangles the bill temptingly below the mistletoe. Surely this will catch Nabiki!
Nabiki, however, has other plans. It would have to be a 10,000 yen bill to even stand a chance at luring her over in person. In fact, she's a little insulted that stupid little pervert believes her to be so completely gullible. Still, can't let good money go to waste. Which is why she's got a fishing rod of her OWN. The bait? A pair of panties. Not hers, certainly. But surely her little sister won't mind if she borrows a pair, will she?
If Kagura wants that dough, she'd better be quick, or it will belong to someone else very, very soon.
Warning! Further reading will one again require several doses of Brain Bleach and quite possibly a barf bucket. You have been warned!
FIEND! Dirty dirty old man! Ukyo will scrub her skin for HOURS when she's back to normal! "Of course Happy-honey!" Ukyo gushes, cuddling the old man despite the fact that his skin is like playdough; squishy and oh so GROSS. Dear lord Ukyo! He's like, a HUNDRED YEARS OLD.
"EEP!" Ukyo jumps at the swat to her rear, and instead of turning him into a bloody smear in the ground (though blood red is festive, she doubts the Tendos and Saotome's would appreciate it!) she instead giggles, cheeks blushing like the young, nubile, schoolgirl shy thing she is, "Oh you silly! I'm going to get us something to drink!" <3
<3 <3 Tra la la! Over to the table she goes, unaware of Gosunkugi and Ranma hiding beneath. But now that she's there, Ukyo is suddenly reminded of the gifts under her arm. Now.. why did she bring a gift for Ranma and Akane, and nothing for her Happy honey? (Ugggh..)
Putting Akane's present down on the table, she tugs the label off of Ranma's present (What a crazy idea, getting a gift for HIM and not her tiny whittle happy honey?) (Ohgod, someone shoot me for typing that.)
"Oh Happiiii~~~~?" To think that such words would ever pour forth from Ukyo's lips. God, there will be no salvaging of her reputation tonight. Pausing to glance around, searching for the diminutive man instead of Ranma, she spies Shampoo bearing down on Mousse, A-ko, and Kagura talking to...oh..god. Kodachi. "Great, why is -SHE- here?" She's NOT stealing her precious Happykins away! And neither are the rest of you fiendish hussies! Happosai is hers, do you hear? HERS! HERS HERS!
One can expect the consenus to be A: You can HAVE him, and B: What crack are you smoking?
Ranma Saotome frowns at the scene outside the table. Ucchan is fawning over /Happosai/?! So much for behaving himself. He'll have to figure out a cure for his old buddy. FAST. REAL REAL FAST. And oh god, it's Kodachi. Like he didn't have /enough/ of a headache.
And then... Ranma scowls at Gosunkugi, halting the nail and hammer with a single finger each. "You just /had/ ta show up an' make things even worse, didn't ya? Well, guess what?" Ranma scoots up into a ball, yanking his red shirt over his head. "You just got promoted to 'bait'."
The shirt is summarily tied around Gosunkugi's torso, and he is shoved out from under the table to land in a heap in the center of the room. Meanwhile, clad in his white undershirt and usual baggy pants, Ranma zips out from the opposite side of the table, beelining it for Happosai's room. He usually leaves the labels to the cracked-out magic crap he buys lying around.
SMASH! KABOOM! HO HO HO! KRAKATASMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!
Shortly after this dubious series of introductory sound effects, HARUHI SUZUMIYA, CHAMPION OF JUSTICE appears! She is not dressed supersexy tonight, at least - wearing actually her relatively modest yellow skirt and red blouse - but she is still more than attractive enough to catch Happosai's eye, if not for the veritable MIASMA OF DOOM emanating off of her in waves.
Ranma Universe, meet The Haruhi Effect: Haruhi Always Seems To be A Superbeing. Suffer.
Haruhi then lazily hands a tape recorder (playback volume set to maximum) back to someone behind her, saying, "Put this somewhere safe! It's necessary to make a big entrance AND exit at this kind of festivity, you know!"
Haruhi eyes Happosai, examines Ukyo, and declares, "How brazen these escort girls are getting these days," in a voice that would be offended were Haruhi not...Haruhi. "I'll have to recruit them for the SOS Brigade! Our token harlot! How exciting!"
A-ko stares at Mousse, and then at Shampoo. "I guess hope really does spring eternal..." she observes, before wisely stepping away from Shampoo and the mistletoe. No sir, wasn't ever there, nope no-how. Perhaps... she'll just go over there, and... oh drat, there're rose petals all over the buffet.
After a short debate, the redhead shrugs and grabs a plate. They probably count as a vegetable or something! She smiles at Ukyo and starts adding little bits to her plate, not having seen the exchange with Happosai. Well, she seems nice! In fact, she's right about to say, 'Having fun?' Except before she can, a scarecrow of some sort is thrown out from under the table. "...That shirt is a really great color," she nods approvingly, totally missing the omgranma sneaking off.
It's high-time for Akane to return from the storage shed. She's pretty sure she heard Kodachi's irritating laugh, so she's probably needed to keep an eye on things, make sure Ranma isn't getting too swamped with crazy. But when she steps inside the festive training hall, Ranma doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight. That's funny... There's a quick count, KodachiUkyoShampoo... So none of them are making out with him on the roof. That's good!
Gosunkugi...blinks. Baitwhat? Hickory-smokedwhat? All the while unaware that the red shirt will proooooobably equate to a matador's swirling red cape in front of an angry bull.
Sadaharu, meanwhile, is really enjoying the car bumper. *gnaw*
Kagura looks at Kodachi with eyes that resemble a dead fish's. She tries to think back: What would Gin-chan do in this situation?
This is her guidance, as he is very flexible in many situations. "Ehhhhh," she says, stepping over to pick up the thousand yen bill and yank it off the line -- possibly with enough force to take the hook with it -- before turning the 'Mr. Pro Wrestler' face back on Kodachi. "You shouldn't take that kind of tone! Don't you know there are samurai who would kill to have even a daisy or a sunflower between their teeth in this day and age?"
She eats another rice ball after shoving the money into one of her hair ornaments. "Are you really a goth loli?" she asks, instead, eyeing Kodachi critically! "You're already starting to get saggy!" She then looks to the incoming Haruhi and points at Kodachi: "This one's soliciting!"
Whothewhuh? That's not Nabiki! Oh well, beggars can't be choosers! Happosai LEERS with greedy anticipation, then LAUNCHES himself at Kagura at mach-1, breaking the sound barrier. Closer and closer he flies, traumatizingly close, aiming to impact with the girl lips-first.
Kyon reflexively takes the recorder before its stuffed into his face, sighing as he tucks it away in his shoulder bag. He's wearing relatively casual clothing himself- clearly not having expected to be attending a party. Come to think of it, wasn't this supposed to be another pointless excursion to find unusual things and aliens, espers, time travelers and all that other stuff?
"......." Clearly I cannot say anything against this. While it probably isn't what Haruhi had in mind, it's certainly.... what's the word? Bizarre's a good one. No, on second thought....
Frowning at Haruhi, Kyon lifts a hand to his forehead. "No.... we do not need anything of the sort in the Brigade." I'm surprised you didn't pick one up when you went wandering around with Tsuruya-san for beartraps.
"What are we doing here again, Haruhi? I think this is someone's house- you don't just barge into people's homes like this." Unless of course, you're Haruhi Suzumiya. Sigh, again.
Yes, thanks to Ukyo and Haruhi, the very fabric of reality is beginning to tear apart like a worn pair of jeans. But who cares? Mousse has Shampoo under the mistletoe again, and even as she's standing there blinking, he's already puckered up and approaching her for a kiss!
You may want to get out your splatter-proof bags now.
Shampoo gehs, ignoring the mistletoe thing. "Oh, I give you what you want..." She proceeds -the beatdown- on Mousse. Watch out. And yes, the bags, please.
OH, THE NERVE! Kodachi just stares at Kagura, mouth hanging open in shock at the little wench! "....y...you~!" She gets stirred up easily, being the sister of Kuno. With a flick of the wrist, the satin ribbon flies, wrapping around the table leg. This would have been pulled off easily if it were not for the Ranma decoy and the said banana peel trap. As she steps, her eyes catch the hint of a red shirt, and with the distraction, she steps right on the peel. WhOOp! "Ahhhh~!!"
Somewhere behind Kyon and Haruhi, Mikuru pokes her head out. Her wide eyes blink as she wears a light blush and a Santa cosplay dress that Haruhi lovingly set up for her. It's sort of tight in some places, but nice and warm. Already she fears the place as it is. She whimpers, coming closer behind Kyon.
Long distance to Ranma Saotome: Akane Tendo nodnods. We can use any, don't have to decide right now. ;)
Well, said table was pulled out and flying in the air.
A downside of her darling being so.. so..Small is that it's rather easy to lose him in a crowd! But that's okay, she'll find him soon enough. See? Look, there he is, like Waldo only smaller and not as colorful. "Happi-honey!" Not yet, but in a moment he's going to be very happy if he has his way!
But Okonomiyaki Ucchan ain't gonna let him have his way. Who does he think he is, trying to put his lips on another woman? And who does SHE think she is, trying to steal him from her? Bristling, Ukyo sets Happosai (Ranma's!) delabeled gift on the table. Ordinarily she would have left her spatula at home! Not tonight though, and it's a good thing!
Happosai flies at Kagura like a moldy slice of okonomiyaki, and Ukyo immediately reacts, glaring first at Kagura as the battle-spatula is unslung from her back and whipped out to intercept the pervmissile. If Happosai doesn't manage to dodge, he'll land right on said spatula, with an irked Ucchan on the other side.
"HEY! Just what do you think you're doing you no-good Hussy? It's bad enough I have to deal with the likes of those two," Meaning Kodachi and Shampoo, "And Akane-chan, but I'm not letting some newcomer steal MY man!"
Just..keep on digging that grave Ucchan...
And look out, flying tables!
Flying tables aren't the only things people should worry about. Soun Tendo laughs uproariously over a too too funny joke with Dr. Tofu, their mouths wide and full of humor. Two of Akane's riceballs fall from the upended plate overhead, descending in seeming slow motion with the Psycho music playing in the background. RII! RII! RII! RII!
*plop*
*plop*
"HA HA HA HA HA H--urk!" Both men grab their throats, eyes watering, and they flee the hall immediately to fling themselves into the pond. Water! WATER!!!
Kagura stares impassively as Kodachi dooms herself with her actions. "Yare, yare, daze," she intones, which she learned from the big guy in the bar. What was his name?
Her head then turns to face Ukyo. Her eyes glitter for a moment, and she says innocently, as she points at her nose, "Do you mean me? I don't want your men. Every guy I've seen here is ugly, even if Ranma's a pretty good fighter for a human."
She looks down at Happosai and points: "Is he an amanto?"
There is a sudden banging noise as Sadaharu's teeth gnaw through a fully inflated tire.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the buffet! The table goes flying up into the air along with all that delicious food on it... and the punchbowl lands upside down, right on top of a very surprised A-ko's head. Splooosh. "......"
This cost two weeks' worth of wages from her crappy job at WackArnold's! And it's dry-clean only! There's a fine red mist settling over the redhead, and it's not punch running down arms. Oh no, that is some grade-A Vermillion Red battle aura. With an almost eerie calm, A-ko takes the punchbowl off her head, holding the heavy glass thing out at arms' length. *crackle crackle PING*
It cracks and splits open right down the center. A-ko turns to give Kodachi the evil eye, dropping the two halves of the punchbowl and holding out one hand palm up. The poor, abused table lands on her palm, balancing precariously.
Fortunately, that's not Mousse's car.
Unfortunately, Mousse is now one with the dojo floor, a mangled and twisted pile of abused Amazon surrounded by a pile of mistletoe-armed shuriken that fell out of his shirt sleeves. Ah, so /that's/ where they came from. Hey, guys! Free mistletoe to abuse your OTP with!
Augh. Face. Smashed against oar. Momentarily detoured, Happosai slumps into a dizzy-eyed heap upon the floor. He'll get you yet, pretties! HE'LL GET YOU YET!
(OOC: Awesome scene, you guys. I laughed my head off. XD)
WHERE: Tendo Home, Nerima Ward
WHEN: Around the Christmas season some night
WHAT: The Tendos host their annual Christmas party, and everyone's invited! ...And we do mean everyone. Things get messy when Happosai puts up the Cursed Mistletoe of Aphrodite. Whoever kisses beneath that fatal sprig will fall in love...FOREVER. And of course, there's the usual chaos that goes on whenever Ranma's rivals are in the room.
It seems that everything is *just* about set for the Christmas party. The guests are already gathering in the central dojo, snacking on the appetizers crafted by Kasumi's loving hands. The plate of hors d'ouevres crafted by Akane's loving hands are strangely untouched. There's half of a little rice ball, the only sign that some poor brave (or unwitting) soul at least gave it a try. But where are they now? In the bathroom. Crying. And pleading with every deity that comes to mind to be relieved of this suffering.
On the third platform of a stepladder, the devil chef herself is looking very undevilish, pressing a thumbtack between strands of Christmas lights just over the doorway. She's smiling, so things must be going well. So far.
"Akane-chan!"
Akane blinks, looking down at the tiny wrinkled old man who stares up at her with much-too-big sparkling watery eyes. "Ah? Happosai? What is it?" It must be something serious if he's not greeting her with a flying glomp-grope attack.
"I...I...I REALLY WANT TO HELP! PLEASE ACCEPT THIS MISTLETOE AND HANG IT OVERHEAD!" he suddenly cries out, lifting both cupped hands to present a sprig of the green leaves and white berries, neatly bound with a blue ribbon.
...Mistletoe? Akane blinks, examining it curiously. Then she smiles. "Sure, no problem!" She stretches out her hands, affixing it to the thumbtack. Unseen by the girl, Happosai's eyes suddenly glow aflame with determination.
~Ha ha ha, everything is going according to plan! The Cursed Mistletoe of Aphrodite is in place. Any pair that kiss beneath it are destined to be in love forever!~ Visions of himself surrounded with the harem of lovely Nerima lasses fawning over him in skimpy outfits dance through the old man's head. Oh yes. Now all he has to do...is wait. And look up Akane's skirt as long as she's up there on that ladder.
As we return our attention to the center of the Tendo Dojo, we come to the famed freeloader Ranma Saotome, bringing a few chairs in to set by the snack tables, in case anyone decides to sit down for a tick. As he is unable to do anything without turning it into training, he's seeing how many he can carry at once. Thus, the stack of twenty-three.
Ranma quickly sets the chairs out one-by-one, eyeing Happosai suspiciously as he does so. But the old freak seems to be behaving himself so far. Ah, well, maybe even he's caught the Christmas spirit. Ranma shrugs and snaps up a plate from the table. "Anything Goes Dining Style... Ten Thousand Hands Descending on the Buffet Table!" His hand blurs out at near-supersonic speed, quickly piling up a stack of Kasumi's snacks on his plate.
Something jingles.
/Merrily/.
Sadaharu has been decked out in a Santa hat and a jingle-bell collar in recognition of the season, and Kagura is wearing what would appear to be some sort of reindeer suit, complete with red clown nose and antlers! As it is, however, the #5 most popular individual in Newtype Magazine looks determined while coming up towards the Tendo family household.
"Hm," Kagura muses aloud. "This may be a difficult job." She leans forwards to pat Sadaharu's fluffy neck: "I'm not sure they have enough parking!"
Joy and rapture! Ukyo is back in Nerima from a training trip? Aren't guys delighted? Shampoo certainly was. No really. Still Ukyo's tickled pink that she made it back in time for festivities with her Ran-chan! .. and Akane and the others too. Mustn't forget that they exist as well.
She's got her neatly wrapped present under one arm -- two actually, one for Akane, one for Ranma! -- and on the way to the Tendo residence, she's busy entertaining herself with romantic delusi-- Uh, fantasies. Yes, herself and Ranma, alone at least, standing beneath the mistletoe! Ranma will confess his love for her, Ukyo blushes! As appropriate, dramatic music cues up int he background as Ukyo leans up to the taller hunk 'a sexy and ...
-Walks smack into a streetlamp. "OW!" Ukyo steps back, snapped out of her daydream and /glares/ at the offending object. You all saw it! It came out of nowhere! Just when Ukyo was getting to the good part. But on the plus side, she's reached the destination!
"Ran-chan! Akane-chan?" She has arrived! WORSHIP HER!
And oh how she hopes no one saw her walk into that street light.
A CHRISTMAS PARTY? A CHRISTMAS PARTY! Yes, it's still CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Certainly the Tendo Christmas Party has become a titan of an event. What's the worse that can happen?
...you know something /WILL/ happen when these words and most of the Ranma 1/2 cast is in ONE PLACE.
Yes. Anyway, back to the scene. Does Ukyo think she's the only one invited to the Special, Fun Fun Party of Doom? Well she's WRONG! Here comes everyone's favorite Amazon, Shampoo! She's brought a gift, and it's obvious who it's for! <3 Beaming happily, the girl jumps down from the fence with her bike, the tires screeching to a halt outside the residence. She then brings it inside. "Ni-hao~~~! <3 I come to party!"
...Can it get any worse?
No, Ukyo, Mousse didn't see you walk into that lightpole! He was too putting the finishing touches to his very own evil plan, you see. Something is quickly stuffed into his shirt sleeve with a stifled evil chuckle, just before he flash-steps into view in front of the Tendo dojo.
(Ranma flash-steps > Bleach shunpo. Take /that/, Ichigo!)
With a final adjustment of his glasses, the Amazon walks into the front-yard, marching straight for the party center with his hands hidden, as usual, within his shirt-sleeves. And since it wouldn't be right to show up for a Christmas party looking his usual unjolly clothing, he's donned a festive Santa hat and a red 'n green scarf. Its cold outside!
Now, A-ko Magami is not really the type to crash parties. Why, what did that witch B-ko tell you?? It's not true! However, since this party seemed to be open to whoever wanted to come, it's not really gatecrashing! And her father said that legal loopholes were only for supervillains.
Dressed in a winter coat over a strapless red dress (it's a lot more casual than it sounds, really) and a pair of gray boots below. In her hands, a Christmas cake! Because it's nice to take presents to your host or hostess. She can hear what sounds like a party getting underway just a little further down the street, and picks up the pace a bit.
Kagura brought the best present of all - Kagura!
She gets off of the giant puppy-dog and pats his head again. "Stay here," she instructs him.
Sadaharu attempts to bite her arm, putting holes into the reindeer costume and making Kagura laugh happily, at which point her other hand comes around in a clenched fist to punch him square in the noise. Sadaharu yelps, barely, and Kagura says warmly, "You big silly!"
After a brief hug, and ripping the sleeve of the reindeer costume off because it looks ugly now, Kagura heads inside, towards where the food seems to be.
Akane descends the ladder, dusting off her hands before folding it up and hoisting it off to the storage shed. Seems the decorations are complete! Besides, there's something she wants to check on in there.
Her head snaps back and forth, making certain she isn't followed by any two-bit goons (aka Everyone But Kasumi), then dashes into the shed and slams the door shut behind her. Hidden under a bright blue tarp is a square box with a ribbon tied around it. She pulls the ribbon loose and lifts up the box to peek inside. Good. Ranma's Christmas gift is just how she left it. Considering the usual shenanigans that go on around this home, particularly during the holidays, Akane is right to check. She smiles a bit, then glances over her shoulder before shutting the box and tying it again with the ribbon. After the party, then. It'll have less chance of getting 'accidentally' destroyed by a rival.
Meanwhile, at the front door, Happosai is humming to himself and attaching a 1000 yen bill onto a fishing line. He quickly thrusts the rod behind his back to hide it when Ukyo enters, flashing her a biiiiiiiiig grin. "Ohhhhh, Ukyo, aren't we looking lo-ve-ly today! Come, my girl, come! There's something I want to show you!" He tugs at her sleeve, hoping to lead her towards... THE MISTLETOE.
"Wishing you a Merry Christmas~! <3 Now, where Ranma?" Bright, brown eyes glance about the Tendo home for the familiar pigtailed one, a hand held at her head to look off in a distance. Whatever distances there are, anyway. She totally ignores everyone else as she scouts around.
All is going according to plan, ho ho ho. "Shampoo, you're here!" Mousse's face lights up with the goofy smile of love-struck Amazon boy and, in an instant, his hands burst out from the sleeves chock-full of gifts: A dozen long-stem roses, a box of chocolates, and two awkwardly wrapped Christmas boxes. "I got these for you! Say, is that /mistletoe/ you're standing underneath? You know what /that/ means!"
Why yes, Shampoo is standing under a bundle of mistletoe! And not the leaves Happosai helped set up either! Just where did they come from? Perhaps the shuriken its tied to that's embedded into the ceiling has something to do with it!
Oh thank god. Ukyo would have been humiliated if someone had seen it. "Ranma honeeeeey o/~" Ukyo continues, her voice lilting into sing-song as she prowl-- er, stalk -- er.. WALKS up the path. Dun-na, dun-na.. he must be hiding. Fool! Ukyo will find you! And hopefully before the other girls do. See? She's calling dibs! Back off!
AAAAAH ogodshe'sbeing attacked! Wrinkled moleman! Help, Help! I'm being oppressed! .. Oh it's just Happosai. EEeeew. Ukyo scowls, shaking her arm, "What do you want Happosai?" There will be no looking up of /her/ dress, because she's not wearing one! she's wearing pants. Nyah. Still she's feeling charitable (for now) and follows -- until she sees what he's pointing at. "Mistletoe..!" Well, why not? It will surely make her wildest (and not so wild) dreams come twue! But if that shriveled old pervert thinks she's going to lock lips with him -- ohgod she may be sick and she hasn't even eaten Akane's cooking yet -- he'd better think again! "Hey look, there's Shampoo," Ukyo points at the Amazon and.. and look! An A-ko and a Kagura! More pretty girls than you can shake a stick at! "Go bother -her-." Ukyo suggests to Happosai with a bright smile. Yes. Go distract the competition!
Ranma got Akane something too! That's right. He certainly didn't forget, no sir. He has yet to check on his hiding place, though. Hopefully he'll get a chance to soon. For now, though, Ranma just wants to sit down with his plate of snacks and --
"Now, where Ranma?" "Ranma-honeeeeeey!"
Hide under the snack table. Two blue eyes peek out from underneath the tablecloth, and the martial artist scouts out the room, skillfully pinpointing all escape routes and locations of mistletoe. He can't help it, it's a reflex.
Kagura looks forwards at the dirty old man with the short and withered body. Her hands fold behind her back and she smiles, predaceously, towards him.
Actually, she just sees the 1000-yen bill, which would totally buy a snack later. She is also perhaps somewhat unusual looking, considering the reindeer costume (minus one arm).
Out on the street, Sadaharu starts chewing a car bumper.
"Oiiiii, Ranma!" Kagura calls, a moment later. Perhaps the dulcet (if loud) tones of her voice will be comforting, for there are worse things in these worlds than a loli, and at least Kagura can be dealt with via violence.
Shampoo is...suddenly covered in loveydove Mousse attention. She doesn't look amused now. The search of Ranma is put off for the moment as she crosses her arms over her silk long sleeve with a mandarin collar, her loose pants hanging elegantly as she shifts her weight on one leg. At least, she would cross her arms, but now they hold Mousse's gifts. Yay.
And...mistletoe? Uh-uh. Not with Mousse. "....." With no response, she just kicks. Now, were there any rules about kicking someone to get out of getting kissed?
ELSEWHERE - a chill breeze dramatically blows down the empty streets leading to the Tendo Dojo. It's not snow. Are those...black rose petals?
Leaving her coat with the others, A-ko adjusts her top over in the corner where nobody will probably see her. There, pulled all the way up! And possibly fabric-glued in place. Akane 'Knocker'jima didn't do the character designs for A-ko's universe. T_T
She pauses in front of the table to take her cake out of the box and set it out with the other food, not realizing that there's a panicked young man underneath it. Thank goodness her skirt's longer than usual! Once that's taken care of A-ko picks up the empty box and tosses it away into the trashcan, ready to enjoy the party and maybe make some friends, too! Whoever did the decorations must've really worked hard, and it totally feels like Japanese Christmas. The redhead clasps her hands in front of her and looks out over the room, considering who she should talk to first. They all look kinda busy! Seems someone is missing...?
GLEAM!!!! A flash of eager light appears in Happosai's eye. With an audible sound effect, too! "Right this way, right this way, eeeeeeheeeeeeeee..." He puts a hand to his mouth to stop a gleeful little chuckle. "Oh rest assured, I'll bother her too, yes yes..." He'll bother them ALL, including that sweet little number in the red dress, and the feisty girl that just punched her dog. Newcomers are always welcome in Le Harem de Happosai! And the very moment that Ukyo's foot passes beneath the archway that leads into the hall, he executes an amazing cartwheel into the air, passing overhead, to daintily land on one pointed foot atop Ukyo's shoulder. His wrinkled mouth puckers up, and he aims his smacker right...for...her.......cheek. Hey, it wasn't specific about WHERE the kiss took place!
A-ko could talk to the nice young bespectacled man that's flying right past her. Mousse impacts into a far wall, with his arms, legs, and glasses all askew in horribly painful angles. (Horribly painful for anyone who isn't immune to Nerima physics.) "... that was some kiss, Shampoo ..."
Over by the snack table, there appears to be an enormous, fat panda with squinty eyes. It scoops up snack after snack with chubby paws, cramming each delicious morsel into its mouth. And what's this, a fruit tray? Snatching up an assortment of produce, the panda bear juggles each and every piece in a dizzying circle, then opens its mouth to catch each one, bite by bite by bite. Good-bye apple! Good-bye grapes! Goodbye banana! Then he turns his thick head, spitting out the apple core, the grape stick, and the banana peel. Such talent!
...Wait, a banana peel? zomg! Sure hope nobody SLIPS on that.
"Awk!" A body goes flying past her and A-ko gets this strange feeling of vuja-de... not deja-vu, but the feeling that this has happened before except this time it's not happening to her. She's not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but hey, at least it's not /her/ picking drywall out of her hair! "Geez! Are you okay?"
Risking life and limb in service to mankind, A-ko heroically pulls Mousse away from his very own personal wall niche. THUD. "You look... kinda broken."
Leave it to Happosai to make 'bothering' someone sound so... dirty. Unfortunately Ukyo is so focused on finding her darling Ranma, she fails to notice the dire extreme DANGER she is in! OHGOD Ukyo turn around! RUn! Look out!
~Mwah!~
Rice papery, icky, wrinkled, dirty old man lips make contact with delicate, young, untouched skin! Oh woe, she had been saving that for RANMA, now no one will marry Hime!!
Wait, wrong series.
Startled, reflex takes over as Ukyo WHIRLS with RIGHTEOUS! INDIGNATION! "WHA.. WHat the #$@ DO you think you're DOING youuu........handsome man! <3" Ranma? Ranma WHO? Pfft!
Dear god. Ukyo has finally cracked. Bad enough she has to contend with three other women, but the weight of her delusions has finally come crashing down! She realized that she and Ranma will never be more than friends and .. her aspirations take a heavy blow. Gone from cute stud Ranma to scraping the bottom of the garbage bin barrel. Oh how low we have sunk Ukyo.
"I.. .. I never realized it before ..!" It's WUV. Twue Wuv! Ranma would never look twice at her, and here Happosai has been here for her all along!
..Wut.
"Shampoo no kiss duck," Shampoo huffs in response to A-ko, wanting to place her hands on her hips but cannot. Instead, she moves to the side of the mistletoe to see what exactly Mousse got her. Might as well if he went through all the trouble of getting her stuff.
*crinkle rip tear*
"......" She holds the qipao in front of her, the small size obviously not matching her completely. Eyebrows furrow. She goes marching over to Mousse, the qipao slung over her shoulder as she rolled up a sleeve.
Just then, a whole stream of black rose petals float frenzily about the area, paired with.../that voice/.
"O~HOHOHOHOHOHO~!!!! Ranma Dar~ling!" The black stain ribbon twirls through the air as Kodachi Kuno appears on the scene, pristine and snobbish as usual. A black rose is now placed between ruby red lips as she steps cautiously, her skirt swaying from the remaining breeze. She smirks.
Look Ranma - more doom! :D :D :D XD
It's okay, Ranma. Not everyone has good social skills. For some people, this party is an absolute nightmare! But it's worth it to be in this crush of people, if only to be near the one they love. "Heeeeeffffffff...heeeeeefffffff..." The sound of creepy breathing sounds uncomfortably close to Ranma's elbow. Seems someone else has taken up refuge in this comfortable place of shadowy shadows.
With a camcorder.
Gosunkugi titters nervously, lowering the eyepiece of the camcorder to peer out beneath the tablecloth. The dark rings under his eyes appear particularly malevolent in the blinking red glow of the 'record' light. And he doesn't seem to notice that Ranma is there...until now. His head slowly turns, mouth open in a slightly unnerving smile. *Blink!* He stares for a moment. Puts down the camcorder. Then lifts up a hammer and a nail as he reaches out towards Ranma's forehead. Why attack a voodoo doll when the real thing is right here?
Kagura has moved on and forwards, and is using her non-reindeer-costumed arm to collect buffet treats. She understands buffet etiquette; that is why she has only taken one plate and is working to empty it before she takes more! That one plate, in this case, contained the rice balls; she has it held against her with one hand, and is feeding herself with it, eating each delicately-packed ball of rice in two massive bites.
She turns her head to look at Kodachi, unaware of what's going on under the table, and picks up another rice ball. "Oi," she says to her, biting into the rice ball and then speaking with a faint lisp around her mouthful of food, "Are you crazy or are you just an S&M queen?" She then swallows the mouthful and reaches up to adjust her plush felt antlers.
"I- I'm fine." Sure, his festive hat looks a little flat now, there's scuff marks all over his nice white shirt, and his glasses are still bent in a funny shape, but if Mousse's in pain, he sure doesn't look like it! Not with the determined gleam reflecting off of his glasses. "I can't be broken, not as long as my heart beats for Shampoo- and here she comes! She's coming to thank me for her gift!" With a rolled-up sleeve and That Look. Uh oh. Shields up, and Duckboy raises his hands with a defensive flail. "Was it the wrong color? Oh, look! You're under another mistletoe!"
Yep, there's another mistletoe-tied shuriken stuck to the ceiling above Shampoo. They're multiplying!
Oh, great. Mistletoe just keeps popping up all over the place here! What kind of thing were the Tendos thinking?! Of course, it's all misunderstanding! Gotta love it. Shampoo gives a dark grin, her arm rising just as Mousse comes around and distracts her with the cursed thing. She looks upward. "...how?!"
Kodachi blinks, her brow furrows. Rose petals still scatter all over the ground and on the table (eh, the food, too) as she takes the rose from her mouth. A gasp escapes her as she starts to sound worked up. "What...did you call me?!" The Black Rose places her gift for her darling to her chest as she strides toward the antlered Kagura. "You DARE call Kodachi, the Black Rose, an S&M Queen?!"
Happosai cackles madly. Victory! Success! "Yes, my little spitfire! It is I, your darling Happosai! You'll take me home and care for me, won't you?" He clings to her neck, making with the big goopy old man eyes as he nuzzles his cheek against hers. "And you'll go fetch me a big plate of snacks, and feed them to me with your delicate little fingers, won't you?" Sparkle sparkle! "Atta lass!" He hops down, aiming a playful swat at her rear. "Happy will be waiiiiiiiting!"
Now to catch more. More! MORE! He snatches up his fishing rod and dangles the bill temptingly below the mistletoe. Surely this will catch Nabiki!
Nabiki, however, has other plans. It would have to be a 10,000 yen bill to even stand a chance at luring her over in person. In fact, she's a little insulted that stupid little pervert believes her to be so completely gullible. Still, can't let good money go to waste. Which is why she's got a fishing rod of her OWN. The bait? A pair of panties. Not hers, certainly. But surely her little sister won't mind if she borrows a pair, will she?
If Kagura wants that dough, she'd better be quick, or it will belong to someone else very, very soon.
Warning! Further reading will one again require several doses of Brain Bleach and quite possibly a barf bucket. You have been warned!
FIEND! Dirty dirty old man! Ukyo will scrub her skin for HOURS when she's back to normal! "Of course Happy-honey!" Ukyo gushes, cuddling the old man despite the fact that his skin is like playdough; squishy and oh so GROSS. Dear lord Ukyo! He's like, a HUNDRED YEARS OLD.
"EEP!" Ukyo jumps at the swat to her rear, and instead of turning him into a bloody smear in the ground (though blood red is festive, she doubts the Tendos and Saotome's would appreciate it!) she instead giggles, cheeks blushing like the young, nubile, schoolgirl shy thing she is, "Oh you silly! I'm going to get us something to drink!" <3
<3 <3 Tra la la! Over to the table she goes, unaware of Gosunkugi and Ranma hiding beneath. But now that she's there, Ukyo is suddenly reminded of the gifts under her arm. Now.. why did she bring a gift for Ranma and Akane, and nothing for her Happy honey? (Ugggh..)
Putting Akane's present down on the table, she tugs the label off of Ranma's present (What a crazy idea, getting a gift for HIM and not her tiny whittle happy honey?) (Ohgod, someone shoot me for typing that.)
"Oh Happiiii~~~~?" To think that such words would ever pour forth from Ukyo's lips. God, there will be no salvaging of her reputation tonight. Pausing to glance around, searching for the diminutive man instead of Ranma, she spies Shampoo bearing down on Mousse, A-ko, and Kagura talking to...oh..god. Kodachi. "Great, why is -SHE- here?" She's NOT stealing her precious Happykins away! And neither are the rest of you fiendish hussies! Happosai is hers, do you hear? HERS! HERS HERS!
One can expect the consenus to be A: You can HAVE him, and B: What crack are you smoking?
Ranma Saotome frowns at the scene outside the table. Ucchan is fawning over /Happosai/?! So much for behaving himself. He'll have to figure out a cure for his old buddy. FAST. REAL REAL FAST. And oh god, it's Kodachi. Like he didn't have /enough/ of a headache.
And then... Ranma scowls at Gosunkugi, halting the nail and hammer with a single finger each. "You just /had/ ta show up an' make things even worse, didn't ya? Well, guess what?" Ranma scoots up into a ball, yanking his red shirt over his head. "You just got promoted to 'bait'."
The shirt is summarily tied around Gosunkugi's torso, and he is shoved out from under the table to land in a heap in the center of the room. Meanwhile, clad in his white undershirt and usual baggy pants, Ranma zips out from the opposite side of the table, beelining it for Happosai's room. He usually leaves the labels to the cracked-out magic crap he buys lying around.
SMASH! KABOOM! HO HO HO! KRAKATASMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!
Shortly after this dubious series of introductory sound effects, HARUHI SUZUMIYA, CHAMPION OF JUSTICE appears! She is not dressed supersexy tonight, at least - wearing actually her relatively modest yellow skirt and red blouse - but she is still more than attractive enough to catch Happosai's eye, if not for the veritable MIASMA OF DOOM emanating off of her in waves.
Ranma Universe, meet The Haruhi Effect: Haruhi Always Seems To be A Superbeing. Suffer.
Haruhi then lazily hands a tape recorder (playback volume set to maximum) back to someone behind her, saying, "Put this somewhere safe! It's necessary to make a big entrance AND exit at this kind of festivity, you know!"
Haruhi eyes Happosai, examines Ukyo, and declares, "How brazen these escort girls are getting these days," in a voice that would be offended were Haruhi not...Haruhi. "I'll have to recruit them for the SOS Brigade! Our token harlot! How exciting!"
A-ko stares at Mousse, and then at Shampoo. "I guess hope really does spring eternal..." she observes, before wisely stepping away from Shampoo and the mistletoe. No sir, wasn't ever there, nope no-how. Perhaps... she'll just go over there, and... oh drat, there're rose petals all over the buffet.
After a short debate, the redhead shrugs and grabs a plate. They probably count as a vegetable or something! She smiles at Ukyo and starts adding little bits to her plate, not having seen the exchange with Happosai. Well, she seems nice! In fact, she's right about to say, 'Having fun?' Except before she can, a scarecrow of some sort is thrown out from under the table. "...That shirt is a really great color," she nods approvingly, totally missing the omgranma sneaking off.
It's high-time for Akane to return from the storage shed. She's pretty sure she heard Kodachi's irritating laugh, so she's probably needed to keep an eye on things, make sure Ranma isn't getting too swamped with crazy. But when she steps inside the festive training hall, Ranma doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight. That's funny... There's a quick count, KodachiUkyoShampoo... So none of them are making out with him on the roof. That's good!
Gosunkugi...blinks. Baitwhat? Hickory-smokedwhat? All the while unaware that the red shirt will proooooobably equate to a matador's swirling red cape in front of an angry bull.
Sadaharu, meanwhile, is really enjoying the car bumper. *gnaw*
Kagura looks at Kodachi with eyes that resemble a dead fish's. She tries to think back: What would Gin-chan do in this situation?
This is her guidance, as he is very flexible in many situations. "Ehhhhh," she says, stepping over to pick up the thousand yen bill and yank it off the line -- possibly with enough force to take the hook with it -- before turning the 'Mr. Pro Wrestler' face back on Kodachi. "You shouldn't take that kind of tone! Don't you know there are samurai who would kill to have even a daisy or a sunflower between their teeth in this day and age?"
She eats another rice ball after shoving the money into one of her hair ornaments. "Are you really a goth loli?" she asks, instead, eyeing Kodachi critically! "You're already starting to get saggy!" She then looks to the incoming Haruhi and points at Kodachi: "This one's soliciting!"
Whothewhuh? That's not Nabiki! Oh well, beggars can't be choosers! Happosai LEERS with greedy anticipation, then LAUNCHES himself at Kagura at mach-1, breaking the sound barrier. Closer and closer he flies, traumatizingly close, aiming to impact with the girl lips-first.
Kyon reflexively takes the recorder before its stuffed into his face, sighing as he tucks it away in his shoulder bag. He's wearing relatively casual clothing himself- clearly not having expected to be attending a party. Come to think of it, wasn't this supposed to be another pointless excursion to find unusual things and aliens, espers, time travelers and all that other stuff?
"......." Clearly I cannot say anything against this. While it probably isn't what Haruhi had in mind, it's certainly.... what's the word? Bizarre's a good one. No, on second thought....
Frowning at Haruhi, Kyon lifts a hand to his forehead. "No.... we do not need anything of the sort in the Brigade." I'm surprised you didn't pick one up when you went wandering around with Tsuruya-san for beartraps.
"What are we doing here again, Haruhi? I think this is someone's house- you don't just barge into people's homes like this." Unless of course, you're Haruhi Suzumiya. Sigh, again.
Yes, thanks to Ukyo and Haruhi, the very fabric of reality is beginning to tear apart like a worn pair of jeans. But who cares? Mousse has Shampoo under the mistletoe again, and even as she's standing there blinking, he's already puckered up and approaching her for a kiss!
You may want to get out your splatter-proof bags now.
Shampoo gehs, ignoring the mistletoe thing. "Oh, I give you what you want..." She proceeds -the beatdown- on Mousse. Watch out. And yes, the bags, please.
OH, THE NERVE! Kodachi just stares at Kagura, mouth hanging open in shock at the little wench! "....y...you~!" She gets stirred up easily, being the sister of Kuno. With a flick of the wrist, the satin ribbon flies, wrapping around the table leg. This would have been pulled off easily if it were not for the Ranma decoy and the said banana peel trap. As she steps, her eyes catch the hint of a red shirt, and with the distraction, she steps right on the peel. WhOOp! "Ahhhh~!!"
Somewhere behind Kyon and Haruhi, Mikuru pokes her head out. Her wide eyes blink as she wears a light blush and a Santa cosplay dress that Haruhi lovingly set up for her. It's sort of tight in some places, but nice and warm. Already she fears the place as it is. She whimpers, coming closer behind Kyon.
Long distance to Ranma Saotome: Akane Tendo nodnods. We can use any, don't have to decide right now. ;)
Well, said table was pulled out and flying in the air.
A downside of her darling being so.. so..Small is that it's rather easy to lose him in a crowd! But that's okay, she'll find him soon enough. See? Look, there he is, like Waldo only smaller and not as colorful. "Happi-honey!" Not yet, but in a moment he's going to be very happy if he has his way!
But Okonomiyaki Ucchan ain't gonna let him have his way. Who does he think he is, trying to put his lips on another woman? And who does SHE think she is, trying to steal him from her? Bristling, Ukyo sets Happosai (Ranma's!) delabeled gift on the table. Ordinarily she would have left her spatula at home! Not tonight though, and it's a good thing!
Happosai flies at Kagura like a moldy slice of okonomiyaki, and Ukyo immediately reacts, glaring first at Kagura as the battle-spatula is unslung from her back and whipped out to intercept the pervmissile. If Happosai doesn't manage to dodge, he'll land right on said spatula, with an irked Ucchan on the other side.
"HEY! Just what do you think you're doing you no-good Hussy? It's bad enough I have to deal with the likes of those two," Meaning Kodachi and Shampoo, "And Akane-chan, but I'm not letting some newcomer steal MY man!"
Just..keep on digging that grave Ucchan...
And look out, flying tables!
Flying tables aren't the only things people should worry about. Soun Tendo laughs uproariously over a too too funny joke with Dr. Tofu, their mouths wide and full of humor. Two of Akane's riceballs fall from the upended plate overhead, descending in seeming slow motion with the Psycho music playing in the background. RII! RII! RII! RII!
*plop*
*plop*
"HA HA HA HA HA H--urk!" Both men grab their throats, eyes watering, and they flee the hall immediately to fling themselves into the pond. Water! WATER!!!
Kagura stares impassively as Kodachi dooms herself with her actions. "Yare, yare, daze," she intones, which she learned from the big guy in the bar. What was his name?
Her head then turns to face Ukyo. Her eyes glitter for a moment, and she says innocently, as she points at her nose, "Do you mean me? I don't want your men. Every guy I've seen here is ugly, even if Ranma's a pretty good fighter for a human."
She looks down at Happosai and points: "Is he an amanto?"
There is a sudden banging noise as Sadaharu's teeth gnaw through a fully inflated tire.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, the buffet! The table goes flying up into the air along with all that delicious food on it... and the punchbowl lands upside down, right on top of a very surprised A-ko's head. Splooosh. "......"
This cost two weeks' worth of wages from her crappy job at WackArnold's! And it's dry-clean only! There's a fine red mist settling over the redhead, and it's not punch running down arms. Oh no, that is some grade-A Vermillion Red battle aura. With an almost eerie calm, A-ko takes the punchbowl off her head, holding the heavy glass thing out at arms' length. *crackle crackle PING*
It cracks and splits open right down the center. A-ko turns to give Kodachi the evil eye, dropping the two halves of the punchbowl and holding out one hand palm up. The poor, abused table lands on her palm, balancing precariously.
Fortunately, that's not Mousse's car.
Unfortunately, Mousse is now one with the dojo floor, a mangled and twisted pile of abused Amazon surrounded by a pile of mistletoe-armed shuriken that fell out of his shirt sleeves. Ah, so /that's/ where they came from. Hey, guys! Free mistletoe to abuse your OTP with!
Augh. Face. Smashed against oar. Momentarily detoured, Happosai slumps into a dizzy-eyed heap upon the floor. He'll get you yet, pretties! HE'LL GET YOU YET!
(OOC: Awesome scene, you guys. I laughed my head off. XD)