Log: CRAB
WHO: Koyori Kokubunji, Kyon, Envy
WHAT: The Magical Maid's first appearance looks to be trouble. Insanity follows.
WHERE: Randomville, Tennessee
WHEN: Monday, January 15th, 2007
WATCH FOR: Giant Enemy Crab, Kyon's suspension of disbelief, Posokichi
It's a lovely LOVELY day in Randomville, Tennessee. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, boys help old ladies cross the street, businessmen tip their hats to ladies on the sidewalk, and a giant banana split hovers over Central Square.
Wait, what?
A banana split on an ornate dish, altogther about the size of a minivan, hovers in midair about five stories over the city's main square. An odd lady in purple stands on the edge of the dish, laughing.
"Oh this will result in a lovely Chaos Field! Lord Ungrar will be pleased~!" She snaps her wand upwards, then thrusts it down. The gemstone flashes brightly. "IKIMASU~!"
...And, uh, nothing happens. Nothing yet, anyway.
One of the newest members of the Syndicate was throwing her debutante ball in Tennessee. Or something screwy like that. The word on the street was 'MERGE LEFT', though there was also word that this Koyori girl was much like the dearly-missed Pixy Misa. Envy, having missed the Pixy shenanigans, hiked off for slightly north of Dixie to see this new girl for himself.
However, being less American and more Amestrian, he's a little lost at the moment. Hence the local biker bar currently having very surprised looking biker guys getting chucked through walls every five seconds. "Are ya supposed to be a boy or a gir-" Fling. CRASH. "Ow."
Whoever said that outrageous and unexplicably inane things happened only in the presence of Haruhi Suzumiya? I would like to tell them that, thanks to these gates all over the place, such is a restriction nor necessary component to the formula no longer! As for why I am here- I have yet to figure that out myself. While certainly I cannot deny the fact that I've thought about studying abroad maybe once or twice, or just getting out somewhere aside from the norm, I would never have expected to find myself in... Tennessee.
...I must have taken a wrong turn at a gate. No need to seek out a scapegoat for this, I thoroughly take the blame for this one! As usual, my thoughts were elsewhere as I was lugging whatever remnants of our supposed vampire excursion Haruhi had not too long ago. I really need to pay more attention to where I'm going, especially if I'm going between different worlds. Sigh.
And so he stands, a very lost looking highschool student as can be told from the uniform he wears, save that the oversized pack he has slung back looks anything but standard school issue. It's camo-printed with a few things bulging from within. Just two seconds prior, Kyon had said, "Oh crap," as he noticed he wasn't in Kan- err, Japan anymore. Two seconds later he repeats this phrase, as he sees the enormous dessert dish off on the horizon.
Will someone please wake me up now?
After a long, long moment, the Magical Maid frowns. She turns her wand around and props it by her foot, leaning on it with a sigh. She then examines her wrist, but wears no watch, "...What's TAKING so long?!" Huff. She entertains herself for several minutes watching bikers fly inexpertly out of a nearby bar. "At least someone's having a good time... Hm?" Her attention is drawn, and her expression brightens, "Finally!"
Elsewhere in town, a young boy plays a game console obsessively. His eyes are HUGE and blank, teeth grit, PLAY PLAY PLAY ARGH I DIED NOW PLAY SOME MORE Console Fever.
A small black orb appears in the town square. This rapidly grows to an enormous size. However, it remains black. The giant dessert floats down near it and Koyori leans close with a sour expression, "Oh COME ON."
After a moment of glaring, the words NOW LOADING . . . scroll across the opaque surface. The Magical Maid nearly falls off her sundae at this, "COME ON! It can't be taking THIS LONG!" She resorts finally to bashing the sphere's surface with her wand.
After the last Hell's Angel has hopped on his hog and fled for higher ground, an odd-looking fellow finally steps out of the bar. Short, thin, and with no discernable gender, the boy/girl/thing tosses his/her long spiky hair back and beams a happy smile to him/herself. "Oi, I needed that!", Envy cheers as he/she stretches his/her thin, but solid, arms. "Nothin' like beatin' up some useless scum to get me goin'- er-"
The homunculus blinks once at the flying sundae, then twice just to be sure. "You've got to be joking." Cautiously, he/she stalks towards the flying dessert, its unamused owner, and the small black orb. "You're Koyori right? I'm Envy," he/she introduces him/herself with a tap of his/her chest. "Is that... flying sundae standard issue?"
Kyon... continues to gape at the large sundae dish, wondering if perhaps it's someone's extreme idea of a promotional advertisement. No, that can't be it. That'd be thinking to normally. Shaking his head, the highschooler facepalms and turns, deciding he'll just pretend he didn't see such a thing. He starts to walk off in the direction that he thinks was the direction he had come from- a guess that should be pretty easy if he'd been walking in a straight line and just had to turn around. He walks right past the gender-challenged homunculus and the weird cosplayer, although there's a slight glance over at Koyori in curiousity. Must be the maid outfit.
Do I want to know? No, I don't think so. I've heard that anime conventions are big in America though, and their cosplaying rituals are much different than that of Japan, but this is ridiculous.
The Maid's wand sinks into the sphere when struck, and Koyori blinks at this. She frowns and tugs on it, "Give me a break..." Envy speaks up, and the girl glances over her shoulder, "Oh~! Hello. Yes, I'm Koyori. And no, this is my personal transi-YIPE!"
At that exact moment, whatever's inside the black sphere YANKS on her wand, pulling Koyori in with it. The giant flying banana split nearly tips over, but somehow avoids spilling its contents. From inside the black sphere, Koyori shrieks in surprise, "What?! No, stop that! Hey! Not there~! Iyaaaa~!"
All falls silent. LOAD COMPLETE . . . The sphere distends, and two massive brown-orange ... crab claws tear through the surface. The rest of the opaque black covering falls away, torn apart by a giant brown-orange sea crab. Koyori stands on its back, holding a stylized controller connected to the monster with a cord. And her outfit has changed, too. She's now clad in a white and black jumpsuit with a jerky 'M' scrawled across her chest. Completing it is a hood and narrow blue glasses.
"AHH HA HA HA HAA~! Now we're talking! Come, we have a bank to RAZE TO THE GROUND~!" In response, the GIANT ENEMY CRAB raises both of its claws and bellows a window-rattling war cry as it shambles down the street.
"RIIIIIIIIDGE RACER!!!"
Envy blinks.
Envy stares.
Envy will just step back here and morph into a palm tree so that nobody will notice him/her - except maybe the beleaguered schoolkid with the oversized backpack. ... Wait a minute. He looks familiar. Too familiar. You come close to death once, and you remember the faces of who was there. Especially the guy that the killer robot program girl whatever was trying to kill. The corner of the homunculus's mouth curls upwards almost imperceptably, and but a moment later, the androgynous creature disappears in a flash of transmutation energy - to be replaced by a still smaller silver-haired Japanese schoolgirl with nerdy glasses. "Kyon," EnvyYuki states in her best flat and emotionless voice. "The evil girl and her giant crab are about to overrun Tennessee with overpriced video game consoles. Are you a bad enough SOS Brigade member to save Tennessee?"
Walk faster walk faster walk faster walk fa-
Kyon's thoughts are effectively interrupted by the sudden wall of SOUND that hits him from behind and sends him sprawling forward. Thanks to the heavy pack he's carrying, it's not a very happy landing on the pavement. For a moment the boy lies there, twitching, then he pushes himself up and turns to glare in the direction of the source of loudness. He even goes out of his way to shake a fist at it- but of course he decides suddenly that he might have done better to rethink his actions, instead using the time to run than fuss about it. This is due to the fact that he now finds himself in the shadow of a giant....
"....crab?" He sounds half disappointed, half 'is this really happening?' All in all, it's still rather calm a reaction. It's as if such a thing doesn't really surprise him. Not that he's about to let himself get stepped on, of course! His flat-eyed expression gains something of a determined edge as he suddenly lurches to his feet, grasping the backpack to lug after him as he angles himself out of the giant crab's war path.
Wouldn't that just beat all if I got stepped on by something as stupid as that? I'm sure even Haruhi would laugh, or call me lame or something. Now if I can just avoid getting crushed or run over long enough to get out of this gate. Wait a second--
He stops abruptly as he finds a familiar face standing in his path. His usual apathetic look convulses between confusion and relief.
How did Nagato get here?! Nevermind that, if Nagato's here, then that means I'm safe! No, wait, I don't want to rely on Nagato all the time- but maybe in a case like this, she'd understand. But wait. Something's not right.
Kyon eyes the spectacled girl with newfound apprehension, brow furrowing. "...you.... aren't Nagato." Not my Nagato. Not any of the other Nagato's I've come across. Who is this then??
While EnvyYuki and Kyon have their discussion in the foreground, Koyori's Giant Enemy Crab just kind of putters to a stop across the street. The Magical Maid blinks at this, fussing with the controller in her hands. "What? Why'd you stop?! Keep going!" When the controller does nothing, she starts stomping uselessly on the shell, "MOVE!"
The eyes on the ends of their stalks suddenly go e__e on the crab's 'face'. It raises its claws in a display posture, scuttling ... sideways. Into the lake located in the middle of the park.
"RIDGE RACEEEER."
"What?! NO! WHO SAID YOU COULD DO THAT?!"
Of course she isn't. Envy only knows the real Nagato from the brief moments she saved his bacon back against that scary computer girl all those months ago. Kyon, being the harem boy he is, has likely passed first base by the dashboard light with her already. Rowr. So he would know her... intimately. Not to worry, this homunculus came prepared!
"I am not your Nagato. I am Yuki Nagato - from the Wii Dimension," the girl states flatly, with her hand extended to reveal that, yes, she's holding a Wii controller. "However, while we were chatting, I discovered our opponent was less competent than initially believed, and I was able to push it into the lake by nuding the controller like this." The joystick moves a half-inch to the side. "So the day is saved. Your mission now is to see if that flying sundae is edible." 'Yuki's' other hand extends and reveals that, yes, there is a spoon.
"......" You have -got- to be kidding. What, do I look stupid or something? No, don't answer that.
Kyon sighs, then raises a hand, looking as though he'll take the controller, which instead he pushes back towards the girl, and then flatly eyes the spoon. "Look. I don't know who or what you are, but I don't have time for trivial things like giant banana split sundaes and malfunctioning giant crabs, much less really bad imposters of my friends." His time is for hunting down vampires, saving the world from destruction by using the lamest pick-up lines ever...! Noooo, that's not right!!
Sighing exasperatedly, Kyon readjusts the backpack behind him and then moves to walk past EnvyYuki. Not before he casts a glance back at the crab- or rather the lake that still ripples in the behemoth's wake.
From the lake's edge, Koyori sputters her way back to shore. The controller is still in her hand, cord dragging in the water. Once she's on dry land, the girl holds up up to examine the connector on the end. With a sour frown, she clenches the device. It promptly poofs back into her wand, and a wave of the staff both dries her and puts her back in her original (Somewhat crazy) purple maid garb.
The Magical Maid storms across the street towards her 'parked' Banana Split, passing right between the disguised Envy and Kyon. While Koyori makes no mind of either of them, that little plushie clinging to her arm suddenly turns its head like that girl in The Excorcist. Its eyes blink one at a time, out of synch, and it speaks in a small voice: "..Konn-ii-chi-wa~."
"Trivial things," WiiYuki repeats stonefaced. What the heck have these kids been up to while Envy's been away from North High? Wait, no, don't answer that question either. Some answers are just better left unsaid. Like why that demon-haunted plushie is speaking Shatneresque Japanese. "Konn. Ii. Chi. Wa~", Not Yuki also repeats back to the furry thing. "Is your. Flying machine edible?"
What kind of things? Come join the club for a day and find out! Recruiting Santa Claus and hunting for vampire moth men attacking Himes, well, pretty much stuff like that gets you to a point where you're hard to shock. Kyon has been building his levels ever since being dragged into the SOS Brigade.
Oh good, the crazy girl seemed all right. Even though she looked to be intent on rampaging with the crab thing of doom, I would have felt bad if she'd drowned.
He watches as Koyori walks past him in her dejected mood, and all would have been fine were it left at that...
Until the weird stuffed thingy turns its head and talks...!
"Gah!" Kyon jumps back a full foot and a half, nearly overbalancing himself in the process. Giant sundaes, demented crabs, and now talking plushies. Ah yes, the brigade leader would have a field day with this. Of course, if Kyon were to care to relate this to her there was the chance she wouldn't even believe it. Funny how it works out that way, yet usually for the better. Grinning awkwardly at the thought, the sole normal member of the SOS Brigade shakes his head and offers a half-hearted greeting back to the plushie. He figures he should be nice, freaky plushy or no. Looking at the Yuki-imposter again, he waves his hand. "I'll leave you two to get to know each other then. I... am going home." This he says rather decisively, turning and marching onwards, quite positive this is the right direction. Once he reaches the end of the block he'll quicken his pace, all the while wishing he had his bicycle.
The Magical Maid whirls in place and plants her butt firmly on the edge of the saucer holding the banana-split dish. She props her chin up on her elbows with a rather sour expression. Despite this, that raccoon thing Posokichi removes an arm from clinging to her long enough to wave after Kyon. It once again speaks in a small voice: "Sa-yo-naa-raa~."
Koyori herself reaches behind her, snatching a giant banana slice from the dessert and taking a HUGE stressed-out bite of it. "Yes, it's edible, and no you can't have any." Grouse, Grouse, Grouse.
"Aw, and I like chocolate too." Once Kyon is out of sight, 'Yuki' drops all pretense, folds her arms, and matches the pout. Its too cute. "And just what is that thing on your arm? A pet or somethin'?" Another razzle-dazzle of alchemy, and Envy's back in his/her cute form and still pouting. "Its spooky, and I should know!"
Blink. Koyori eyes Envy's form-shift. After a moment, she closes her eyes and waves with her free hand, "Help yourself." CHOMP AHRNOMNOMNOMNOM ulp. Banana slice GONE. In two bites. And it was bigger than her head. Talking to her about herself seems to be bringing her out of that mood, though. She holds her arm forward, using her other hand to gesture the little raccoon. "This is my sweet little Posokichi."
As it is pointed out, the critter turns its head around to stare at Envy and speak in that soft and eerie voice, "..Ko-nii-chi-wa~."
"On second thought, I think I'll pass." Envy waves sheepishly as he takes a step back and rethinks his position. Chocolate's good, but chocolate from girls with 'sweet little' creatures just as frightening as you and appetites that can swallow your frondhead whole isn't quite as good. "I've got alchemists to taunt 'n old women to appease, so I gotta get goin' too. See ya around the next Syndicate party!"
And like a thief in the night, the homunculus disappears into the shadows. No chocolate was worth that!
"Sa-yo-na-raa~" Posokichi waves as Envy departs. It blinks out of synch as he leaves, and Koyori stands up. She steps up onto the dish with the ice cream treat on it, bringing her wand up to wave it in a forward-ly direction, "We can't waste any time here either. Away!"
With a sound like a jet aircraft, that's one helluva fast banana split.
WHAT: The Magical Maid's first appearance looks to be trouble. Insanity follows.
WHERE: Randomville, Tennessee
WHEN: Monday, January 15th, 2007
WATCH FOR: Giant Enemy Crab, Kyon's suspension of disbelief, Posokichi
It's a lovely LOVELY day in Randomville, Tennessee. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, boys help old ladies cross the street, businessmen tip their hats to ladies on the sidewalk, and a giant banana split hovers over Central Square.
Wait, what?
A banana split on an ornate dish, altogther about the size of a minivan, hovers in midair about five stories over the city's main square. An odd lady in purple stands on the edge of the dish, laughing.
"Oh this will result in a lovely Chaos Field! Lord Ungrar will be pleased~!" She snaps her wand upwards, then thrusts it down. The gemstone flashes brightly. "IKIMASU~!"
...And, uh, nothing happens. Nothing yet, anyway.
One of the newest members of the Syndicate was throwing her debutante ball in Tennessee. Or something screwy like that. The word on the street was 'MERGE LEFT', though there was also word that this Koyori girl was much like the dearly-missed Pixy Misa. Envy, having missed the Pixy shenanigans, hiked off for slightly north of Dixie to see this new girl for himself.
However, being less American and more Amestrian, he's a little lost at the moment. Hence the local biker bar currently having very surprised looking biker guys getting chucked through walls every five seconds. "Are ya supposed to be a boy or a gir-" Fling. CRASH. "Ow."
Whoever said that outrageous and unexplicably inane things happened only in the presence of Haruhi Suzumiya? I would like to tell them that, thanks to these gates all over the place, such is a restriction nor necessary component to the formula no longer! As for why I am here- I have yet to figure that out myself. While certainly I cannot deny the fact that I've thought about studying abroad maybe once or twice, or just getting out somewhere aside from the norm, I would never have expected to find myself in... Tennessee.
...I must have taken a wrong turn at a gate. No need to seek out a scapegoat for this, I thoroughly take the blame for this one! As usual, my thoughts were elsewhere as I was lugging whatever remnants of our supposed vampire excursion Haruhi had not too long ago. I really need to pay more attention to where I'm going, especially if I'm going between different worlds. Sigh.
And so he stands, a very lost looking highschool student as can be told from the uniform he wears, save that the oversized pack he has slung back looks anything but standard school issue. It's camo-printed with a few things bulging from within. Just two seconds prior, Kyon had said, "Oh crap," as he noticed he wasn't in Kan- err, Japan anymore. Two seconds later he repeats this phrase, as he sees the enormous dessert dish off on the horizon.
Will someone please wake me up now?
After a long, long moment, the Magical Maid frowns. She turns her wand around and props it by her foot, leaning on it with a sigh. She then examines her wrist, but wears no watch, "...What's TAKING so long?!" Huff. She entertains herself for several minutes watching bikers fly inexpertly out of a nearby bar. "At least someone's having a good time... Hm?" Her attention is drawn, and her expression brightens, "Finally!"
Elsewhere in town, a young boy plays a game console obsessively. His eyes are HUGE and blank, teeth grit, PLAY PLAY PLAY ARGH I DIED NOW PLAY SOME MORE Console Fever.
A small black orb appears in the town square. This rapidly grows to an enormous size. However, it remains black. The giant dessert floats down near it and Koyori leans close with a sour expression, "Oh COME ON."
After a moment of glaring, the words NOW LOADING . . . scroll across the opaque surface. The Magical Maid nearly falls off her sundae at this, "COME ON! It can't be taking THIS LONG!" She resorts finally to bashing the sphere's surface with her wand.
After the last Hell's Angel has hopped on his hog and fled for higher ground, an odd-looking fellow finally steps out of the bar. Short, thin, and with no discernable gender, the boy/girl/thing tosses his/her long spiky hair back and beams a happy smile to him/herself. "Oi, I needed that!", Envy cheers as he/she stretches his/her thin, but solid, arms. "Nothin' like beatin' up some useless scum to get me goin'- er-"
The homunculus blinks once at the flying sundae, then twice just to be sure. "You've got to be joking." Cautiously, he/she stalks towards the flying dessert, its unamused owner, and the small black orb. "You're Koyori right? I'm Envy," he/she introduces him/herself with a tap of his/her chest. "Is that... flying sundae standard issue?"
Kyon... continues to gape at the large sundae dish, wondering if perhaps it's someone's extreme idea of a promotional advertisement. No, that can't be it. That'd be thinking to normally. Shaking his head, the highschooler facepalms and turns, deciding he'll just pretend he didn't see such a thing. He starts to walk off in the direction that he thinks was the direction he had come from- a guess that should be pretty easy if he'd been walking in a straight line and just had to turn around. He walks right past the gender-challenged homunculus and the weird cosplayer, although there's a slight glance over at Koyori in curiousity. Must be the maid outfit.
Do I want to know? No, I don't think so. I've heard that anime conventions are big in America though, and their cosplaying rituals are much different than that of Japan, but this is ridiculous.
The Maid's wand sinks into the sphere when struck, and Koyori blinks at this. She frowns and tugs on it, "Give me a break..." Envy speaks up, and the girl glances over her shoulder, "Oh~! Hello. Yes, I'm Koyori. And no, this is my personal transi-YIPE!"
At that exact moment, whatever's inside the black sphere YANKS on her wand, pulling Koyori in with it. The giant flying banana split nearly tips over, but somehow avoids spilling its contents. From inside the black sphere, Koyori shrieks in surprise, "What?! No, stop that! Hey! Not there~! Iyaaaa~!"
All falls silent. LOAD COMPLETE . . . The sphere distends, and two massive brown-orange ... crab claws tear through the surface. The rest of the opaque black covering falls away, torn apart by a giant brown-orange sea crab. Koyori stands on its back, holding a stylized controller connected to the monster with a cord. And her outfit has changed, too. She's now clad in a white and black jumpsuit with a jerky 'M' scrawled across her chest. Completing it is a hood and narrow blue glasses.
"AHH HA HA HA HAA~! Now we're talking! Come, we have a bank to RAZE TO THE GROUND~!" In response, the GIANT ENEMY CRAB raises both of its claws and bellows a window-rattling war cry as it shambles down the street.
"RIIIIIIIIDGE RACER!!!"
Envy blinks.
Envy stares.
Envy will just step back here and morph into a palm tree so that nobody will notice him/her - except maybe the beleaguered schoolkid with the oversized backpack. ... Wait a minute. He looks familiar. Too familiar. You come close to death once, and you remember the faces of who was there. Especially the guy that the killer robot program girl whatever was trying to kill. The corner of the homunculus's mouth curls upwards almost imperceptably, and but a moment later, the androgynous creature disappears in a flash of transmutation energy - to be replaced by a still smaller silver-haired Japanese schoolgirl with nerdy glasses. "Kyon," EnvyYuki states in her best flat and emotionless voice. "The evil girl and her giant crab are about to overrun Tennessee with overpriced video game consoles. Are you a bad enough SOS Brigade member to save Tennessee?"
Walk faster walk faster walk faster walk fa-
Kyon's thoughts are effectively interrupted by the sudden wall of SOUND that hits him from behind and sends him sprawling forward. Thanks to the heavy pack he's carrying, it's not a very happy landing on the pavement. For a moment the boy lies there, twitching, then he pushes himself up and turns to glare in the direction of the source of loudness. He even goes out of his way to shake a fist at it- but of course he decides suddenly that he might have done better to rethink his actions, instead using the time to run than fuss about it. This is due to the fact that he now finds himself in the shadow of a giant....
"....crab?" He sounds half disappointed, half 'is this really happening?' All in all, it's still rather calm a reaction. It's as if such a thing doesn't really surprise him. Not that he's about to let himself get stepped on, of course! His flat-eyed expression gains something of a determined edge as he suddenly lurches to his feet, grasping the backpack to lug after him as he angles himself out of the giant crab's war path.
Wouldn't that just beat all if I got stepped on by something as stupid as that? I'm sure even Haruhi would laugh, or call me lame or something. Now if I can just avoid getting crushed or run over long enough to get out of this gate. Wait a second--
He stops abruptly as he finds a familiar face standing in his path. His usual apathetic look convulses between confusion and relief.
How did Nagato get here?! Nevermind that, if Nagato's here, then that means I'm safe! No, wait, I don't want to rely on Nagato all the time- but maybe in a case like this, she'd understand. But wait. Something's not right.
Kyon eyes the spectacled girl with newfound apprehension, brow furrowing. "...you.... aren't Nagato." Not my Nagato. Not any of the other Nagato's I've come across. Who is this then??
While EnvyYuki and Kyon have their discussion in the foreground, Koyori's Giant Enemy Crab just kind of putters to a stop across the street. The Magical Maid blinks at this, fussing with the controller in her hands. "What? Why'd you stop?! Keep going!" When the controller does nothing, she starts stomping uselessly on the shell, "MOVE!"
The eyes on the ends of their stalks suddenly go e__e on the crab's 'face'. It raises its claws in a display posture, scuttling ... sideways. Into the lake located in the middle of the park.
"RIDGE RACEEEER."
"What?! NO! WHO SAID YOU COULD DO THAT?!"
Of course she isn't. Envy only knows the real Nagato from the brief moments she saved his bacon back against that scary computer girl all those months ago. Kyon, being the harem boy he is, has likely passed first base by the dashboard light with her already. Rowr. So he would know her... intimately. Not to worry, this homunculus came prepared!
"I am not your Nagato. I am Yuki Nagato - from the Wii Dimension," the girl states flatly, with her hand extended to reveal that, yes, she's holding a Wii controller. "However, while we were chatting, I discovered our opponent was less competent than initially believed, and I was able to push it into the lake by nuding the controller like this." The joystick moves a half-inch to the side. "So the day is saved. Your mission now is to see if that flying sundae is edible." 'Yuki's' other hand extends and reveals that, yes, there is a spoon.
"......" You have -got- to be kidding. What, do I look stupid or something? No, don't answer that.
Kyon sighs, then raises a hand, looking as though he'll take the controller, which instead he pushes back towards the girl, and then flatly eyes the spoon. "Look. I don't know who or what you are, but I don't have time for trivial things like giant banana split sundaes and malfunctioning giant crabs, much less really bad imposters of my friends." His time is for hunting down vampires, saving the world from destruction by using the lamest pick-up lines ever...! Noooo, that's not right!!
Sighing exasperatedly, Kyon readjusts the backpack behind him and then moves to walk past EnvyYuki. Not before he casts a glance back at the crab- or rather the lake that still ripples in the behemoth's wake.
From the lake's edge, Koyori sputters her way back to shore. The controller is still in her hand, cord dragging in the water. Once she's on dry land, the girl holds up up to examine the connector on the end. With a sour frown, she clenches the device. It promptly poofs back into her wand, and a wave of the staff both dries her and puts her back in her original (Somewhat crazy) purple maid garb.
The Magical Maid storms across the street towards her 'parked' Banana Split, passing right between the disguised Envy and Kyon. While Koyori makes no mind of either of them, that little plushie clinging to her arm suddenly turns its head like that girl in The Excorcist. Its eyes blink one at a time, out of synch, and it speaks in a small voice: "..Konn-ii-chi-wa~."
"Trivial things," WiiYuki repeats stonefaced. What the heck have these kids been up to while Envy's been away from North High? Wait, no, don't answer that question either. Some answers are just better left unsaid. Like why that demon-haunted plushie is speaking Shatneresque Japanese. "Konn. Ii. Chi. Wa~", Not Yuki also repeats back to the furry thing. "Is your. Flying machine edible?"
What kind of things? Come join the club for a day and find out! Recruiting Santa Claus and hunting for vampire moth men attacking Himes, well, pretty much stuff like that gets you to a point where you're hard to shock. Kyon has been building his levels ever since being dragged into the SOS Brigade.
Oh good, the crazy girl seemed all right. Even though she looked to be intent on rampaging with the crab thing of doom, I would have felt bad if she'd drowned.
He watches as Koyori walks past him in her dejected mood, and all would have been fine were it left at that...
Until the weird stuffed thingy turns its head and talks...!
"Gah!" Kyon jumps back a full foot and a half, nearly overbalancing himself in the process. Giant sundaes, demented crabs, and now talking plushies. Ah yes, the brigade leader would have a field day with this. Of course, if Kyon were to care to relate this to her there was the chance she wouldn't even believe it. Funny how it works out that way, yet usually for the better. Grinning awkwardly at the thought, the sole normal member of the SOS Brigade shakes his head and offers a half-hearted greeting back to the plushie. He figures he should be nice, freaky plushy or no. Looking at the Yuki-imposter again, he waves his hand. "I'll leave you two to get to know each other then. I... am going home." This he says rather decisively, turning and marching onwards, quite positive this is the right direction. Once he reaches the end of the block he'll quicken his pace, all the while wishing he had his bicycle.
The Magical Maid whirls in place and plants her butt firmly on the edge of the saucer holding the banana-split dish. She props her chin up on her elbows with a rather sour expression. Despite this, that raccoon thing Posokichi removes an arm from clinging to her long enough to wave after Kyon. It once again speaks in a small voice: "Sa-yo-naa-raa~."
Koyori herself reaches behind her, snatching a giant banana slice from the dessert and taking a HUGE stressed-out bite of it. "Yes, it's edible, and no you can't have any." Grouse, Grouse, Grouse.
"Aw, and I like chocolate too." Once Kyon is out of sight, 'Yuki' drops all pretense, folds her arms, and matches the pout. Its too cute. "And just what is that thing on your arm? A pet or somethin'?" Another razzle-dazzle of alchemy, and Envy's back in his/her cute form and still pouting. "Its spooky, and I should know!"
Blink. Koyori eyes Envy's form-shift. After a moment, she closes her eyes and waves with her free hand, "Help yourself." CHOMP AHRNOMNOMNOMNOM ulp. Banana slice GONE. In two bites. And it was bigger than her head. Talking to her about herself seems to be bringing her out of that mood, though. She holds her arm forward, using her other hand to gesture the little raccoon. "This is my sweet little Posokichi."
As it is pointed out, the critter turns its head around to stare at Envy and speak in that soft and eerie voice, "..Ko-nii-chi-wa~."
"On second thought, I think I'll pass." Envy waves sheepishly as he takes a step back and rethinks his position. Chocolate's good, but chocolate from girls with 'sweet little' creatures just as frightening as you and appetites that can swallow your frondhead whole isn't quite as good. "I've got alchemists to taunt 'n old women to appease, so I gotta get goin' too. See ya around the next Syndicate party!"
And like a thief in the night, the homunculus disappears into the shadows. No chocolate was worth that!
"Sa-yo-na-raa~" Posokichi waves as Envy departs. It blinks out of synch as he leaves, and Koyori stands up. She steps up onto the dish with the ice cream treat on it, bringing her wand up to wave it in a forward-ly direction, "We can't waste any time here either. Away!"
With a sound like a jet aircraft, that's one helluva fast banana split.