The Micronian Capture - The Interogation
WHO: Breetai, Miriya Parino, Khyron Kravshera, Tatsuki Arisawa, Orihime Inoue, Shinji Ikari, Roy Fokker
WHEN: 29 September 2010
WHERE: Dolza's Flagship - Zentraedi Armada Holding Area
WHAT: Dolza has his command staff investigate the Micronian Captives.
WATCH FOR: EVERYTHING. OMG, EVERYTHING.
Fold space is both pretty, and extremely boring. You can only look out into the vast, twisting nether that exists between this universe and whatever segment of reality that is defined in the obscure mathematics that fold space represents for so long before you either go mad, or decide that it is far too boring to actually look at, and try to find something else to do.
Of course, the Micronians are under constant surveillance the entire time that they are on board, to determine what Micronian tricks they might have at their disposal, or simply because a few guards figure that it may earn them a few extra food rations if they could make bootleg copies of their dangerous tiny people. Of course, they don't *seem* all that dangerous - they seem small and squishy for the most part. But perhaps looks are deceiving?
Veritech in Trenchcoat says Yes to this supposition.
But suddenly, the insane lights of fold space end outside of the window, leaving behind nothing but a vast expanse of stars. And ships.
Oh dear lord are there ships.
Outside the window is a vast expanse, a space fleet at anchorage. Zentradi warships stretching as far as the eye can see, tapering off to minute green dots in the distance. And dominating the background is a colossal asteroid base, growing larger and larger with each second as Breetai's flagship begins making its final approach.
This leg of the journey is ending - they have arrived at the Zentradi fleet command station.
Roy's probably the first to notice it amongst the prisoners. The shudder of the command ship. Pushing himself to his feet, the Veritech commander looks around. "Up and at 'em, troops. Looks like we're home."
Going over to where they can see out the viewscreen, Roy stares at the scene, jaw loosening. There's more ships than stars out there. "Oh.. my God." he whispers, staring at the scene.
Tatsuki Arisawa stops punching one of the walls with her mighty fists. She's not attacking - but they have nothing better for her to practice against, and they are not so hard that it hurts too much to practice against them. She could spar, but really, she doesn't want Orihime overexerting herself - they never know when they may NEED Orihime, after all. So, it has been kata for days.
But that is ending now, as she steps over to Roy, and...gapes. "Wh..." she breathes. "That's..."
She is distantly glad that she can only really sense Orihime's spiritual presence. She's not sure she wants to know how many living things there are out there.
"What is it?" Orihime stands to her feet, and instantly regrets it. Ah! Pins and needles! It's definitely not comfortable sitting in a hamster cage for extended periods of time! She winces, rubbing at her sore rear as she shuffles to stand beside Roy. "Home? What do y--o-oh..." Orihime stares in shock, suddenly feeling a pitdrop in her stomach. All those Zentraedi...and she was so hopeful before... Her fingers absently reach to snag Roy's sleeve at his elbow as she steps back. "We're not really going in there, are we?" she whispers, even though she knows the answer.
Shinji Ikari wonders if its worth spending the energy to stand up and look out the window. Its at least, what, ten, twenty calories when you work in the standing up, the walk over, and whatever reaction they're going to expect him to have. Twenty calories closer to needing to eat that food that Khyron's made him oh-so-suspicious of.
And Uncle Drinky sounds...awestruck, which kind of slaps Shinji halfway out of his funk. The Third Child stands up, whincing at the feel of the Plug Suit after a few days of wearing it, hoping he doesn't smell as bad as he thinks he smells, and walks over to look where Roy's looking.
"Where are a-all the ships?" Shinji blinks, takes a closer look, and realizes that those /aren't stars/. He can't find anything to say becides, "Oh.", but Ikari's mouth hangs open, and his right hand starts squeezing in and out of a fist, the nervous habit violently reasserting itself at the terrifing sight of the Zentraedi armada.
This might be an appropriate time, if you could ever hear life's soundtrack, for some dark, sweeping brass piece with a heavy drum going on in the background. Unfortunately, you don't get those sorts of benefits most of the time, and all that the Micronian captives are treated to is the immense size of the Zentradi command station as it looks larger and larger through the viewing screen. And soon, a single black spec opens in the side - a spec that expands to a small hole, and continues growing larger and larger until it becomes obvious that what was once a tiny opening is in fact a vast docking bay, large enough to swallow their ship without even noticing.
Standing on the bridge of said ship, Breetai turns to look at his fellow Zentradi, Exedore and Khyron, as well as their 'guest' - he had no idea why Azonia had insisted that Miriya remain to watch the interrogation, but given that this was a historic, already precedent breaking event, he could find no valid reason to complain. But finally he turns to the main screen of the bridge, and salutes as the image of Lord Dolza is projected across it, transmitted from the Zentradi leader's office.
"As you have requested, Lord Dolza, we have brought a sample of Micronians for analysis and inspection. We have linked you to our video feed - Exedore will begin his examination upon your order."
Miriya stands with her arms crossed, a little uncomfortable to be standing in a room with males without her helmet, but to wear a helmet while facing Lord Dolza would likely be taken as an insult. She says nothing to Breetai and his ilk, but turns to salute Lord Dolza as is customary. She's not so full of sass as to direct it to the Supreme Commander. "Lord Dolza, it is an honor to be a part of your operation."
Rubbing a hand slowly over his face, Roy finally peels his eyes away from the sight of the Zentraedi Armada. He'll remember it for the report.. however, there is sometheing else that seems to be grabbing his attention. He recognizes the docking for what it is. The command ship is not a ship.. it's a small moon.
"I suspect we're going to be getting some visitors soon, guys." the Veritech pilot comments as he turns to lean against the edge of the box. He's a little worried now. But there's no need to admit that to them.
Instead, the commander leans against the edge of the box, looking at Shinji, Tatsuki and Orihime. "You three holding out okay?" he asks, concern there in his voice. "Hopefully we'll know the purpose of this soon."
Khyron stands at attention off to the other side of Breetai, and keeps his mind focused on staring at the screen. That Old Baldy's on it makes it easier for him to concentrate there than back at Miriya. She (she?) has longer hair than he does! "I am honored as well, Lord Dolza," he states with a reverent nod. "This should be an informative study." If not entertaining. Heh. Heh. The Backstabber has plans.
"No." This is probably a joke, even if Shinji's being honest. He looks a little scared, but the kid's trying to be strong, he really is. Just...they're very large, and the only way he can see out of this mess for him involves...
...well, maybe life as a Zentraedi's pet hampster wouldn't be so bad, Shinji thinks. It'd be cleaner than Misato's place...
Orihime Inoue laughs nervously, backing towards the corner. You know. Away from the opening of the cage. "Eh heh heh...I'm not sure I want to know...ignorance is bliss, right?" Her hand dips into the pocket of her flight suit, seeking out Lancer's crystal. She doubts she'll need it, but just the same, knowing that he'll come if she calls is comforting to her. Well, whatever happens, she's going to face it with her chin held high. She presses her lips together stubbornly and does just that.
Tatsuki takes a deep, shuddering breath, staring at the viewscreen. She moves over toward Orihime, taking comfort from her friend's preference, and hopefully providing some with her own. "We'll be OK," she mutters to Orihime. "I'll protect you, I swear." An empty promise, perhaps, but...it's comforting to say it, if nothing else.
"Very well then!" Dolza replies from his office. "It is a pleasure to see the Zentradi and Meltrandi working together towards our mutual victory. Begin your examination Exedore - do not rest until you have discovered the location of the Protoculture technology that Zor secreted upon his ship."
Breetai and Exedore both salute the monitor before it clicks off. Dolza will be watching the entire time, and he likely had a few ideas of his own he might contribute, but for the most part the Micronian operations remained Breetai's to carry out.
Turning on one boot, the Zentradi commander turns to head towards the travel tube. "Come," he says briskly. "We have waited long enough to begin this interrogation of our captives."
A few minutes may go by, before the view inside the captives' room changes again, becoming a sweeping view of the entire Zentradi fleet, panning slowly from left to right and then back again, as well as up and down, showing multitudes of ships in all directions. As the camera continues to pan down, a planet come into view belo, looking... well, not barren and lifeless, but certainly uninviting. The captives are given a few moments to watch before the door chimes, and opens to admit Breetai, Exedore, and the liaisons from the Meltrandi and Lunatic divisions...
"Yes, sir." Miriya steps into the room, her footsteps brisk and businesslike, and narrows her eyes down at the Micronian captives. She doesn't speak to gloat yet, as she doesn't want to interfere with operations, but she can't help but notice that the captives are far less self-assured and cocky this time. Serves them right, laughing in the face of the Zentraedi without knowing their true might. She tosses her hair over her shoulder, letting the others follow.
Males. They're so slow.
As the captives are treated to the wonderful world of Zentraedi land, Roy tenses up. "I wonder if that's the Zentraedi homeworld." he comments off-hand, giving Orihime and the others a small grin of confidence. He can't help but to feel a little guilty. They were dragged into his war, and now here they are.
Noticing Shinji's nerves, Roy risks taking the flask from his pocket, and tosses the silver container over. "Take a swig. It'll make you feel better." he mutters.
That's when the doors open, and in enters One-Eye McGuffin, Mountains McBoobboob, and other assorted sundry. The Veritech pilot draws in his breath and settles his own nerves. This could be a long night.
Shinji Ikari blinks, looking at the flask. ...he's only fifteen. He doesn't do things like that. That's Misato's job.
...and right now, Shinji figures, he needs a little Misato flowing through his veins. Nodding to the Commander, Ikari the Younger takes a quick swig, his eyes widening at the drink-much stronger than the cheap Japanese beer and watered down Montiguean wine he's had before, but Shinji manages to keep it down. He only coughs a little. ...because he's covering his mouth with his right arm, while handing the flask back to Roy. "T-thanks..."
Khyron is other assorted sundry? Sob. Sob. Just for that, he'll save his brilliant plan for last, once Exedore is finished with his preliminary whatevers he's working on. For now, he'll hang in the background, watching intently with his head held high with a better-than-you smirk. Yes, better than you. And you. And especially you.
Orihime Inoue draws close to Tatsuki, and inclines her head. "We'll protect each other," she whispers back, and winks. The more confidence they show, the stronger they'll be. And here they come. At once she recognizes Breetai. How could she forget? The others, though, she's pretty sure she's never seen them before. And Khyron is giving her goosebumps. Yikes, what a scary-looking smirk. But Miriya... What pretty hair! Orihime relaxes a
little. A girl can't be that bad, right?
...Tatsuki...Rukia...Chizuru...
Scratch that. She could very well be the one that flips out and kills them all. Well what can you do? Orihime musters up a little smile and waves.
Tatsuki smiles at Orihime. "Protect each other. Right!" she says, and then looks up as people appear. Oh, wow. This...she steels herself, the girl ready for anything. Such a weird collection of folks. And they ALL look so DIFFERENT. It's...odd.
"Greetings, Micronians!" Breetai booms as he comes to stand above the table. He looks to Exedore and nods, and the smaller (much smaller - Exedore is probably the smallest Zentradi in the room, although that still means he's huge) officer reaches over and removes the top of the cage, allowing the captives to step out onto the table. Which means they're not in the cave... but they have no cover, and probably a good thirty to forty foot leap if they want to get down off the table. Not the most attractive option, certainly.
"I am Breetai, commander of the Zentradi Expedition that has been assigned to track down and capture Zor's ship. Micronians, we demand your complete and immediate unconditional surrender of the stolen ship, and that you immediately hand over whatever Protoculture you possess."
Breetai is certainly loud, and he is being forceful - Exedore shakes his head slightly, however. He had mentioned earlier that simply browbeating the Micronians into submission was unlikely to work, but Breetai had insisted on treating his opponents as true warriors at first. If they proved unworthy, other means of interrogation and investigation would be used.
"You know our demands," Miriya adds, having to get her own words in as a matter of stubborness, if nothing else. "We need the Protoculture. Tell us where it is, and how we can acquire it." It does puzzle her that the Micronians did not mention Protoculture earlier, knowing how important the substance is, but she doesn't bring up this question. The little fools will listen, and listen well!
She leans over the table a little for emphasis. It will make her more intimidating, she figures.
Zor's ship? "You mean the SDF-1." There's no Zor's ship here, bucko. "As far as surrender goes?" Roy coughs up a dry laugh as he folds his arms over his chest and leans against the wall of the box. "Not only am I not in a position to do such a thing -- I sure as hell we wouldn't do it, either." The pilot snorts at the Zentraedi as he starts to feel that old defensive swagger pick in.
"And that ship crashed on our planet, therefore it's ours by right!" he adds angrilly, trying not to pay attention to Miriya's leaning over. Such an uncool tactic, that.
Then.. comes the confused Roy. "Protowhat?" Yes, that's right. He'll play stupid - despite the fact that he was on Lang's search team, and heard too many stories from him during the development of the Valkyrie. Thank goodness for need to know basis.
Shinji, apon seeing Miriya lean over "intimidatingly", suddenly realizes all at once exactly why his Father wears those sunglasses all the time-in doors, /and/ at night. The tiny little part of Shinji Ikari that is a normal fifteen year old boy gains a sudden respect for his old man, and the rest of him concedes that they may consider buying a pair for themselves.
For entierly scientific purposes, naturaly.
Coughing and blushing a little, the not at all tipsy Third Child looks away from Miriya, trying to find a safe target. There, Khyron! Khyron only makes him feel hate and the faint smell of grease, that's safe. "Um...w-what the commander s-said...I guess..." He can't surrender, because he knows, deep down, that Gendo Ikari will tear this plane apart if he believes that there is a serious chance of Unit-01 being perminantly in the hands of an alien force. The fact that Shinji can see first hand just what lengths Commander Ikari will go for things he /does/ care about is just another shaker full of salt in the sucking chest wound that is his relationship with his father.
Also, he actualy doesn't know what Protoculture is. "You m-mean, like...culture? Movies and history and art and s-stuff?"
Orihime Inoue just looks confused. She has no idea what Zor's ship is. She has no idea what Protoculture is. It sounds like the development of protozoas in a petri dish, but that just doesn't make much sense. "Anou...?" She's still looking at Miriya's hair, since part of it swung over her shoulder. If it were just a little lower, Orihime could probably climb it, and have a super fun time doing it, too. Just to say that she once climbed someone's hair.
This is Breetai and Exedore's party, so Khyron will know his place, keep his tongue, and stay in the background for now. Hint, hint, Miriya. The more perceptive of the Micronians, and especially Shinji who happens to be staring at the purple Zentraedi, will notice his attention drift from Miriya over to Orihime and Tatsuki's direction, and then back again. He didn't notice it before, not beneath her armor and uniform, but Azonia's ace has the same bumps - and general body form - as the 'healer' Micronian and her would-be protector too. Intriguing.
Tatsuki Arisawa is looking up. If this moment were just slightly more silly, she would be drawn on a background of question marks. It's not, however, so instead she just looks totally confused. "I don't have any damn idea what you're talking about!"
She doesn't think about climbing Miriya's hair, because Tatsuki's head is nowhere near as fun to be as Orihime's.
"The power of Zor's ship is beyond comprehension, Micronian. Your meddling may have already doomed your entire world, for the Protoculture that Zor placed aboard his ship is more important to us than the existence of your weak, backwater planet.," Breetai replies, his voice obviously displeased by Roy's defiance.
Exedore would love to start pumping Shinji's brain now, since he obviously seems the most willing to divulge the Micronians DEEPEST, DARKEST secrets. Unfortunately, that will not come to pass, as Breetai slams his hand down on the table, looming over Roy.
"Do you understand the helplessness of your situation, Micronian? That only the existence of Zor's ship keeps us from snuffing your race from the universe right this instant?"
Here, even Miriya pulls back (sorry guys) at the expression of Breetai Wrath. She crosses her arms again, looking dignified and Not At All Intimidated by Lord Breetai, and moves her head to toss a lot of hair away from her eyes. This pose is an ancient tradition among the Meltrandi that remains to this day a potent weapon of nonverbal communication. "That one is Fokker, the one who made a brief pact in the battle against the Invid. The white-clad one is the pilot of the Purple Giant, and the two females are hand-to-hand experts."
She's pretty sure those are females, anyway.
Khyron's lips curl up into an even crueller smile. Now we're getting tot he good parts! Zentraedi know not of Good Cop / Bad Cop, however, the Backstabber can't help himself but to play the role of the jerk right now. "Just give me the word, and it shall be done, Commander."
Oh God, Shinji realizes, I've accadentily taught Khyron how to oggle women. ...I'm going to the special hell, aren't I? The one they save for people who talk on their cell phones in the movie theater.
And then Breetai shows the power of the Pimp side of the force, and the sheer force of his pounding fist sends Shinji Ikari sprawling back onto his rear end. "O-ow..." Shinji mutters. Its a little pathetic. Maybe he's part of the Micronian Wuss Caste, in charge of selling their mysterious Micronian breakfast cerials and doing the dishes.
Actualy, that's not that far off.
"Enough guys." Roy mutters as he steps forward, glaring up at Breetai and company. As he sticks his hands in his pockets, the commander finally decides to finally speak up. "I will not subject myself or my charges to your questions any further. You want to know what we're willing to do -- take us back to our home -- and then we'll show you what we can do."
As the hand slams on the table, Roy gives a surprised grunt, falling backwards on his rear, however, he pushes himself back to his feet, becoming even more testy and defiant. "This place is falling apart! I don't even think you could take one volley from the SDF-1 in this old rattletrap!"
"Micronian insolence!" Breetai snarls, looking obvious displased with Roy's attitude now. He may have been pushed slightly too far... or perhaps Breetai was expecting this to happen, for he turns to Khyron, and makes one gestures. "Very well then. Khyron! We shall begin the demonstration. Lord Dolza anticipated the necessity of such a thing."
Breetai turns, looking at the enormous view screen, and Exedore obediently turns and pulls out a remote, tapping a combination into it. The screen alters, the view shifting around to bring the planet below into view. And it is obvious that the Zentradi fleet is beginning to move, although to what purpose is not clear.
"We have long known that the Micronians are a treacherous and manipulative species. However, the Zentradi are a noble and honorable race of warriors - we do not make promises lightly. Therefore, you shall be given a demonstration of what fate awaits your planet if you do not surrender immediately!"
Ever seen Star Wars?
The director of Macross sure has!
But Miriya hasn't. Even so, she remains quiet for now, a smug smile on her face as she turns to the monitor. She's eager to see the reactions of the Puny Ones to this show of Zentraedi firepower.
Tatsuki listens intently. As the fist slams on the table, however, she's prepared - ready for combat and with well-honed reflexes, she actually retains her feet. Barely - she's off-center from it, anyway, legs spread wide and arms likewise out. She growls, but has nothing to say - she doesn't KNOW anything!
She returns to center, though, looking at the screen with silent dread. This feels much, much too familiar.
Orihime Inoue glances rapidly back and forth between the view of the planet and Breetai. "W-wait a minute!" She's seen this episode of Star Wars, and she's NOT looking forward to it! "That's...that's a terrible waste! Don't do that! There might be people living down there, or people COULD live down there! Come on, please? I don't even know what Protoculture is! Gosh..."
Heh. Breetai's command is met with an obedient nod from the purple Zentraedi, and he makes a motion towards a secondary communications unit to the side. "Grel," Khyron intones into the radio as an eye wanders back over towards Shinji, "Have the Botoru Battalion assume the lead position. I want to make it perfectly clear to the Micronians just what level of power they're dealing with."
Shinji Ikari has absolutely no idea what to say, right now.
He attempts to lock eyes with Khyron, but somehow, whatever strength he had during the past few days is fading away into nothingness. He can't even speak. Shinji Ikari does, however, make a decision that the Zentraedi would be very interested in knowing about.
Roy holds up his hand to Orihime. It's not meant to be authoritative -- but he is the commander of the group. And.. it's his homeworld that's represented here, right. "There's got to be some reason they haven't just up and destroyed us, Orihime." he whispers to her, before looking back up towards Breetai.
"Cowards!" he shouts angrilly, eyes narrowing. "You fear the SDF-1! We possess a power that even you cannot begin to comprhend, and it will destroy you!" And he hopes to God he's there to see it.
Tatsuki Arisawa just...grits her teeth, steps up for just a moment to interpose herself between Orihime and...reality? But no, she looks back at Orihime, knows she can't protect the girl from this, and just...tries to be close by.
Her hand reaches out, silently. She senses now is probably a good time to break the personal space rules.
The fleet continues to move slowly, until it seems to engulf the planet below them. And then another view screen comes on, and the intimidating form of Dolza appears, looking down upon the Micronians. "Know this, Micronians. I am Dolza, Lord of the Zentradi race. You shall do well to heed the words of my loyal servants, for this shall be the result of your folly!"
And the nearest ships of the Zentradi fleet begin to deploy, their forward ends unhinging to reveal a massive bay lined with emitters. And each of them swing around, bringing their primary Reflex Cannons to bear on the planet below. And then Dolza raises his voice, and commands the fleet. "ZENTRADI. FIRE AT WILL."
When Han Solo said that it would take more firepower than half of the Starfleet, he hadn't ever met a fleet the size of the Zentradi fleet. Millions upon millions of warships fire as one, unleashing a rain of destruction upon the surface of the planet below. Immediately the surface blackens, consumed beneath terrible black swirls of dirt and ash. But moments later even that vanishes as the atmosphere of the planet is burned by the attacks. And then the second volley goes out, slamming to the planet, and the surface begins to glow, the first hint of the hellish fires being lit within.
And then a third volley.
And a fourth, as the Zentradi armada pours energy into the planet, reducing its crust to a molten ruin, causing huge plumes of material to erupt forth from below. In a matter of minutes the entire planet has been reduced to a glowing ball of molten rock, gigantic craters marking its surface as matter continues to drift away into space.
"This is the price of disobedience, Micronians! Remember that," Dolza comments, before nodding to Breetai to continue the interrogation.
Miriya considers adding a, "so there," but she assumes that the point has been made clear enough. "We hope you'll cooperate, of course. We need the Protoculture. We do not need your planet intact." She does glances at Khyron, whom she noticed has been acting a little strange. Maybe he's just not used to Meltrandi. Then her gaze settles on the prisoners again, and she watches for their reactions.
Orihime Inoue isn't the best example for strength right now. Her hand clutches Tatsuki's tightly, and a muffled sob sounds from the girl as she hides her face against her best friend's back. All those people...what a horrible way to die. They probably had no idea what was happening until it was too late. They probably screamed. They probably suffered. Orihime's shoulders quiver as she gulps down another sob. Roy will have to continue being defiant and attention-grabbing, because really, Orihime is a little ashamed at her lack of control.
Those poor people...
There's a long, slow pause as Roy stares at the destruction and hell that the Zentraedi hath unleashed. The flight commander's eyes go from wide and fearful at the display of power back to anger and pure defiance.
"You.. miserable sons of bitches!" he yells up at the Interrogators. "Soon as I get my hands on a mecha, any mecha, I'm going to personally tear you a brand new..." the rest is lost as just spits pure insolence at the Zentraedi.
He has nothing but contempt for this court, it seems.
Not to worry, Miriya. Khyron is now preoccupied with watching the destruction with the approving expression of someone whose favorite candle flavor is 'Napalm'. "Glorious," he nearly sings, speaking out of turn just this once. This is too priceless of a moment to pass up commenting on! "It has been far too long since we- eh?" The Backstabber's is caught by surprise and even perhaps in horror by the strange sounds coming from the one with the bigger bumps.
Exedore can ask the question, but this Zentraedi really wants to know just what she's doing!
Tatsuki Arisawa's fist clenches. They....those bastards...destroyed a planet, eradicated all life on it, and...and...and...!
...and they made Orihime cry. Every muscle quivers with rage. Her friend's tears mean nothing compared to the suffering of whoever may have lived there...but to Tatsuki, it is a far more immediate, and far more infuriating concern. She glarse at the Zentraedi before them with naked hatred, and a fury so great it might just actually have physical force.
Tatsuki's spiritual pressure, muffled by the presence of her body, stirs, not that anyone but Orihime could notice it.
Shinji Ikari has seen, as part of his education, pictures, videos, and first hand accounts of the devestation the Second Impact has had on his own homeworld. Entire cities, drowned overnight, or ripped in half as continents became islands, the brutal aftermath of the undeclaired world war that sprung up overnight as the great powers tried to figure out what the hell to do with a world that was suddenly cut in half.
This, some rational part of Shinji notes, finally beats that. And, this treacherously lucid voice notes, they're proud of themselves. They liked it. He pulls his knees up to his chest, tears spilling down his face, and he finally rests his head against his knees, muttering something.
"Whatever you want me to do, Commander, I'll do. I don't care anymore." is what he's saying, but its faint and stuttered and over quiet wimpers, so Roy and the rest would be forgiven for not hearing anything.
However, the Micronians may have their nerves settled a bit by Breetai's next statement. "This planet was an uninhabited dust ball - however, it could be your own planet next Micronians. Bear that in mind," he comments, before turning aside. Because he had captured a look from his good friend that he knew he should not ignore. And so the Zentradi commander steps back, and instead Exedore steps up to the plate, looking down at the captives.
"So," Exedore begins, and the captives may be amazed by how someone who is that large can sound so... nasal. Heck, sound like a bit of a bookworm, truth be told. "You mentioned that the 'SDF-1' as you call it possesses a great power. So it is true then that you do know of the Protoculture on board the ship, and have been using it for your own advantage." The Zentradi scholar nods to himself. "Yes, our scouting missions have seen many unusual activities going on during our investigations of that ship - it is clear that you are using the power of Protoculture to your own benefit. "
Breetai cuts in here, booming, "Yes - tell us Micronians - was it the Protoculture that allowed you to develop your unusual fighting craft, or taught you the strange fighting tactics you use?"
"...Protoculture? Hell no." Roy grumbles as he continues to be rather angry and defiant as he looks from Exedore and Miriya back to Breetai. "We cut our teeth busily fighting each other way before you people decided to attack us!" he says, snorting as he reaches over to give Orihime's shoulder a reassuring touch.
"...and what do mean unusual activities?" he asks Exedore. "Let's get this straight - you're the weird ones here. Girls not allowed to be with boys, your 'great' female ace freaking out over a plush toy - how the heck are you guys created anyways, if you don't have sex?"
Uh-oh. Roy just said the secret word.
"So you claim to have developed these tactics on your own? But they make no sense. They're...wait, what?" Miriya stops short and blinks at Roy's accusations. "That 'toy' was a vile trap of yours!" She actually turns a little red, though, and wonders why her capillaries are increasing their bloodflow in her cheeks at the mention of such a thing. What the hell is that about? "It's stranger that males and females live together. Strange and destructive! And odd! And what is 'have sex?' Is that the term you use for the DNA cloning process?"
It's a stupid term, she decides.
Shinji Ikari doesn't look up. There's no point? What can someone as worthless as him do? He can't even get his own father to love him, how can he handle alien fleets that whipe out planets for fun?
How indeed, is what Berserker Shinji should be saying. But Berserker Shinji is very quiet, right now, which means the other Shinjis-within-Shinji are keeping the hell away. That's when the big goof's actualy dangerous.
Meanwhile, in the bowels of the ship, wherever they're keeping Evangelion Unit-01, any guards patroling the machine might report a low, animalistic sound, almost like a growl, coming from the purple giant, or that its horrible eyes seemed to glow, a little, with the white fire. But that's impossible! It has no pilot, and no power, and generaly seems to be a useless, armored puppet if anyone becides Shinji Ikari is trying to make it work. Just paranoia from too much time near the bizarre Micronian technology.
They're...cloned? Orihime blinks a bit. She's recovering fast from Breetai's explanation, and heaves a sigh of relief. No life...thank goodness. Well doesn't /she/ feel sheepish! "Heh...sorry..." She thumbs at her cheeks and sniffles. She's smiling now, and glances gratefully at Roy and Tatsuki. They're so nice to her. But now she's wondering what on earth Kon was doing while she was asleep. Didn't they ask him to pretend to be a stuffed animal so no one would expect anything? What happened? "I'm from another world beyond the Gates, myself," she volunteers, cheering up a bit. "This is my first time in space, really. Ah...thank you for not killing anybody," she bows a bit. Roy might frown at that, but even so, she IS glad. But she falls silent as the conversation strays towards things that make her face turn red. Eeeeeeeee...
Tatsuki Arisawa's spiritual force sputters and dies, slowly, as she realizes that nobody was killed, and Orihime is calmer. The marginal glow, really little more than a shimmer in the air, that had formed around her similarly dissipates. But these guys have performed a terrible sign, to Tatsuki's eyes, and for that she is going to break them all into tiny pieces. If she has to, she will punch them in the toes until they die. She is confident this will work eventually.
She remains silent, just breathing, getting herself under control. The damn cage is made of Space Plastic of The Future, it's not like she's going to break it with her bare hands unless she really goes all-out, and even then, what would it accomplish? They'd probably just kill her, and she can't die yet.
So she...sits there. Breathing. Controlling herself, and trying to be strong for herself and for Orihime. She lets Roy do the talking; she has nothing to add.
"Meltrandi and Zentradi are separate species - there is no reason for us to interact at a level beyond what is necessary for our dominance of the galaxy," Breetai replies to Roy. "It is obviously your degenerate culture that has made you into such a primitive species, if you believe that interactions between Meltrandi and Zentradi can lead to more than chaos and mistrust." Which more or less sums up his feelings on that.
But Exedore is more willing to explore along these lines. "Lord Breetai, I believe that this is worth investigating a bit more. It is obvious that this chaotic interaction between males and females is a key component to their methods, and we may be able to discover the influence of Protoculture upon them by studying this." He looks curiously at Miriya - what an odd question. "We are all created from a master template, and are cloned to produce more warriors. It is clear that you humans operate in some form of symbiotic relationship between males and females - the information I have gained calls this symbotic interaction 'romance'. I wish to discover more information about this biological link."
No, Exedore, you're supposed to ask why the Micronian female was sobbing! The stupid nerd passed on a perfect moment to pick on a Micronian weakness. Grr. Khyron holds his head up a little higher just as someone says the magic words - which seem to have no effect on the big purple bully. Ha! You can't make him react to sex if he doesn't know what it is! What is having an effect, however, is that some of the faces are starting to turn red. He's never really seen that before, either, which is why he's gaping slightly and rubbing his own jaw. Intriguing.
Hey, the nerd's actually being useful now. "Romance, Exedore?", the Backstabber asks, still stroking his chin as things get curiouser and curiouser. "Fascinating. I would like to learn more about this myself." No, not for that, you silly Micronians. Khyron the Super Pimp is still in his infancy stages, this is Khyron the Military Genius in command here.
Roy blinks at the big bad alien.. that wants to have romance explained to him. Well, Mister and Miss Zentraedi, you came to the right spot. Folding his thumbs into his pockets, the Veritech Commander laughs. A short, hard, snarky laugh. "...romance, huh?" he asks casually. "Well, you see, it starts when a boy and a girl like each other. Once they see an attraction to each other, then they start dating. Maybe they'll go to a movie. Or for a swim. Or out to dinner. If there's a real attraction, then they'll move forward in a kiss. And well, from there..."
"Eh-heh." Roy really gives a grin now. "Well, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes girl getting pregnant, putting the poor guy through nine months of Hell and midnight runs for sardines and chocolate ice cream, just for 36 hours of labor to have a baby. And you never hear the end of it. And that's if you're lucky! Most of the time, girls don't even get past first base with the typical guy."
"For your scorecards, Exedore, first base is kissing. The heavy petting doesn't come til second base -- and maybe, maybe, if you're lucky you can get there. If not, and you're caught stealing second early - aggressive females could break your arm."
A look is made at Tatsuki.
Shinji Ikari would be making a witty comment right now, but he's lost in an endless downward spiral of self-loathing and failure.
Roy, hit him out of it. Quick!
Miriya...
Stares at Roy as if he has just explained how he is an automobile and likes to fly on a unicorn. It would have made as much sense to her. "So reproduction results from this 'kiss?' Or rather, it's the initiaton? This seems rather complicated and inefficient as a means to reproduce, and I for one am glad our society has avoided this."
Irony is a bitch.
"However, what is this kiss thing? It is clearly important to your Culture." She shoots a look at Shinji, who is looking all mopey and needs to be reminded to STAND ON HIS FEET PUNY PERSON YOU ARE BEING ADDRESSED BY YOUR BIGGERS.
Orihime Inoue is just glad that Kon is asleep. If he wasn't, she's pretty sure there would have been a small 'pop!' and an explosion of cloth and stuffing fluttering like soft snowflakes all about the cage. She almost feels like bursting with embarrassment herself. This is way, way, way more than she needed to know. And yet...well...she has to wonder if chocolate ice cream and sardines can be made more flavorful in a stew or chili, with cumin and cucumbers. Do pregnant women really desire such things? ...Is Orihime herself well-suited for pregnancy since she already craves weird things like that all the time?
Tatsuki Arisawa breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's it. THat's right. It's allll O--kay...
WHAT THE HELL HAVE THEY BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES AAAAAH. Tatsuki finally parses what she's been hearing, and blushes BEAT RED. "Wh!" she stammers, because she has no idea how to react to this topic other than aimless indignance.
Exedore nods. "Yes yes, I see." No he doesn't, but he is recording all of this information for future reference. "Very well, can you demonstrate for us then?"
"Yes," Breetai rumbles, and raises one hand, ominously, to point at Roy, and then at Shinji. And with all of the terrible force that a colossal warlord who has crushed countless enemies and star systems beneath his heel can muster, he orders"You two! You shall demonstrate to us this thing you call a 'kiss'."
Exedore clears his throat, thus saving Roy and Shinji from what may have been a horrible fate. "...Lord Breetai, I do not believe that act is carried out between males..."
"Very well then!" And Breetai turns around, and points imperiously at Orihime and Tatsuki. "Then, the two of you will demonstrate this 'kiss' for us!"
Exedore gives a thumbs up. He wants to see this.
"Kissing?" Roy asks, "It's when two people put their lips together... it's tonsil hockey, first base, tongue wrestling, frenching, making out.. and.." then there's a pause as Breetai yells at him to kiss Shinji. Like hell!
Wait, Tatsuki and Orihime? Hell, he could go for some of that action, too, admittedly. "It should be a man and a woman." however, he does point that out.
Miriya raises an eyebrow and glances over at the male Zentraedi with some irritation.
She doesn't know why, but something just went AAARGH. Perhaps she and Tatsuki are kindred spirits, deep down. "Wait, sir...are you sure those two should...but they seem rather similar, and..."
Shinji Ikari was busy drowning in a sea of his own failure and self-loathing and he's a miserable useless little perverted housebroken monster who eats babies and caused the Great Depression and Tatsuki and Orihime are kissing-
And all of a sudden, Shinji's inner Guy says, "Jigga what?" and smacks him out of it.
Shinji then sees Exedore's thumbs up, and wonders if, in fact, the giant aliens have been making fun of them this entire time. He also gives Commander Fokker a dry, "You're the adult, remember?" look, because he's SURE the man needs one right now.
be counterproductive to the lesson."
"Are you sure?" Khyron narrows his eyes at Roy for a moment, then shakes his head. "I would advise going against the Commander's orders." Something just went Awwwwwwriiiiiiiiight.
Tatsuki Arisawa opens her mouth.
Shuts it.
Opens her mouth.
Shuts it.
Finally: "WHAT THE "
Sudden well-placed shot of the silence of space goes here.
"...do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Arisawa?" Shinji mutters because he's clearly suicidal.
"...Shinji, kiss Tatsuki." Roy says this, calmly. Quietly. "...and Tatsuki, don't break his arm. It's kind of important. Okay?"
Khyron glances curiously at Exedore. "What is-" Look, My Little Ponies! "- and a mother?"
"That is an interesting term," Miriya notes. "Exedore, do you have any record of-" KITTEN! IN A TISSUE BOX! "in Micronian culture?"
Orihime Inoue is just confused. How could they not know what a kiss is? Kisses are nice. They make you feel like you're standing in a thick vat of cotton, warm all over, and your heart starts pounding like a war drum, and...
And she's spacing out. Which is probably for the best, because it's bad enough she has to deal with that kind of behavior from Chizuru at home. Space Perverts don't deserve any better.
Breetai, however, is not amused at this delay. "We are waiting," he booms, looking down at the Micronians. "Demonstrate this kissing act then, as you would go about it Micronians, or there will be consequences." Like... them trying to pick you up and making you do it by force! Nevermind that would be ugly and crazy and all sorts of wrong. You know that they'll try. But all of them do seem curious -even Breetai has uncrossed his arms and is leaning over the table with Exedore to get a better view of the coming action.
If this was some biological linkage, would it immediately lead to other things, Exedore wonders? Fascinating.
That order gets Shinji Ikari standing up, though he's wearing a look of mild horror that would, perhaps, be more approprate to Ranma Saotome, or one of the other oft-henpecked protagonists in the IPA's dread service. But, again, Shinji is all they got. "You want me to kiss /her/?! She just taught the Space Vikings how to break rating!" Shinji says, wide eyed and pointing. He then looks over at Orihime, and is relieved that she's oblivious(again), since if she was upset Tatsuki would probably skin him. He tries not to be bitter over Orihime's ability to completly avoid having anything that happens to anyone else matter to her at all, and manages to succede thanks to the overwheling probability that he's going to help teach the Zentraedi about the birds and the bees. Or at least the grade school verson.
...Okay, so he's kind of attracted to the type-A personality type, he admits it, he kind of likes it when the redhead yells because that means she gives a crap maybe he's just screwed up for thinking that's a turn on and WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH back up Ikari. Shinji really doesn't want to go there right now, he decides, he has enough problems without trying to figure out what state, exactly, his own little web of not-relationships is in, and what he actualy feels about certain people. Uuugh.
Shinji did say that he'd follow Fokker's orders though, and he slumps his shoulders with a sigh. "C-could you not hold my nose?" Shinji mutters, and then tries to perk up a little. "...hey, at least this, um, isn't your f-first, huh?"
Not like anyone would want to share their first kiss with him, Shinji thinks, and is kind of glad it isn't his either, even if The Other Kiss was another one of Asuka's pranks. Sigh. Shinji takes a step forward, waiting to make sure Tatsuki isn't going to go insane and kill him instead. Ikari blinks, snapping his fingers...
And takes out a tin of curiously strong mints. "Emergency pack." Shinji explains, and pops one in his mouth real quick. He figures he can choke it down by the time Arisawa's finished yelling and has started paying attention to reality again.
Mints? Oh, Shinji, you dog you.
But let's see what Tatsuki does, hmm?
For the record? Contamination of the Zentraedi race?
Exedore's fault.
Tatsuki has by now wound down to explaining in EXACTING DETAIL what species Exedore's X chromosome came from.
After she describes the dog-headed she-beasts of Omicron Seven, with a million hideous sucking tentacles that all do nothing but LOOK UGLY AND FEAST ON MAGGOTS, she finally actually hears the part about kissing Shinji, and stops dead, craning her head around in slow, robotic motions to look at the timid kid. "wh" she stammers again.
"Hurry up," Miriya's impatient voice thunders. "I want to see this kiss for myself! Is it really so much work?" At this rate, man, there better be glitter and lasers and explosions and Shinji had better sprout wings.
Oh lord, Tatsuki, this isn't the time to go into vapor lock, is it? Looking between Shinji and Tatsuki and then back to Orihime, Roy gives a long shrug of his shoulders. "..I.. don't think they're going to do it, Orihime." he tells her quietly. "Look, we both know we're taken. So, if they don't go forward, we'll just do it and forget about it." he says to the girl quietly. "Don't ask, don't tell, right?"
Orihime Inoue blinks. Blinks. And blinks again. She looks up at Miriya, coming out of her space fantasy of bobbing along with Ling in space suits, racing towards Mars with flag in hand to claim it before the eeeeeeeevil Zentraedi with their curly handlebar moustaches and giant afros (the true sign of any villain) get there first.
"Huh? OH! Well, you see...kissing isn't really worth much if you don't love the person you're kissing. Then it's just kind of weird! Unless it's a kiss between a parent and child, that's okay...hm?" Orihime looks at Roy, then over at Tatsuki and Shinji. ...What are they doing? Tatsuki looks like she's been petrified, poor girl!
"Hee hee! It's okay, you guys, don't worry about it. Roy-san's right." And he's the ideal sort of father figure in Orihime's mind, so it's almost like parent and child. "We'll do it, if you guys feel too awkward. No big deal over here!" she flaps her hand.
Breetai booms again, "I'm waiting."
Khyron remains silent, forboding, and utterly curious. One day he will visit this mysterious Omicron Seven and defeat the dog-headed she-beasts himself! Until then, there's something odd that he needs to straighten out. "'Love' the person you are kissing? Is that the problem, that these two do not 'love' each other, whatever that means?" Hmm. If he knew of the concept of devil-horns, the Backstabber would sprout a pair right out of his bad '80's haircut. "Perhaps we should obtain a pair who /are/ in love then."
Shinji Ikari twitch. Twitch. Twitch.
Sometimes, Shinji, see, doesn't snap and there's death and destruction and mom having Angel Barbeque. Sometimes, once in a while, that Shonen gland hidden somewhere in his brain actualy starts working, and he gets really sick of this crap. "D-d-d-damn it! I might be worthless, but I can at least k-kiss someone! Jeze!"
Shinji procedes to /stomp/ the remainder of the distance between himself and Arisawa, grab her shoulders, pause because Mister Kaji taught him that a gentleman always pauses dramaticly before this sort of thing...
And actualy dips Tatsuki, Disney movie style, before kissing her right on the lips.
Oh god, don't break his spleen, Tatsuki. Roy thinks as he steps back to stand protectively next to his fellow group leader. "..he's not half bad. Little overdramatic.."
Then, loudly, "SLIP HER THE TONGUE!"
Tatsuki then looks over at ROY (tall, drunk, and vaguely handsome) and ORIHIME (tall, booby, and gorgeous) and concludes immediately that she would have to commit seppuku if the two actually kissed. Complete failure as a protector! But...but...but...SHINJI. But...those two. But...
Smooch.
....
THIS PROGRAM HAS COMMITTED AN ILLEGAL ERROR AND MUST BE SHUT DOWN
The same message flashes in the head of just about every Zentraedi present too.
Slowly, Tatsuki's legs rises off the ground, because she's so completely floored that she doesn't even notice she's getting into it.
And on this day, this 29 September 2006, Shinji Ikari became a man.
And somewhere, on another Earth, Amuro Ray forehead flashes.
For no apparent reason. What, is someone going to throw a brick at him in Bright's office?
Orihime Inoue blinks. Wow. Who knew he had it in him? If Shinji had demonstrated something like that before the auction, he probably would have doubled the bidding price. "Like that!" she gestures with a sparkling smile.
"Now you guys try it!"
"Is love something important? The word has no real meaning," Miriya comments, though her oddly well-manicured hands are tapping against the table. "So hurry up and-...
"And..."
Her eyes widen, and her lips part as she lets loose a horrified half-scream, half-gasp. It isn't the fact that Weenie Boy actually kissed. It's that /kiss./ The very action of it brings up emotions and senses she can't understand! Her entire being has been brain-crashed by the very essence of...
<3!!!!!!
That look on Tatsuki's face? Magnify it several times as Miriya just plain staggers from her seat. "I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO-TO-TO DO THAT!"
"AAAUGH."
"Dis...disgusting!"
Breetai and Exedore are obviously taken serious aback by the display being put on by the two Micronians on the table. Breetai just looks at the two, and manages to gag out after a moment, "Pro...protoculture!" Dolza can be heard gagging in the background on his screen before it finally clicks off, the display too much for him to take.
Breetai finally manages to get ahold of himself, and looks over at Khyron. "Return these Micronians to their cage! We must... pause for now, and examine their Protoculture psychological warfare tactics." With that he turns around, apparently about to make his way out of the room at an increased pace. This display of Protoculture... most disturbing.
Roy joins in. "Yeah! You two!" Roy says, pointing at Miriya and Breetai. "You two should give it a.. err. Well, maybe not." He blinks, looking back at where Shinji and Tatsuki are liplocked. "I didn't think they did a half-bad job, Orihime."
Shinji Ikari knows he's going to die.
If not Tatsuki, Amuro. If not Amuro, Asuka. If not Asuka, Misato will find out SOMEHOW and tease him about it until he actualy dies.
So, before everything else, he slowly stands back up, coughs discreetly, and-perhaps just to the fellahs in the room-eyebrowl waggles. Just a little.
Then he abruptly remembers his personality and coughs again, flush faced and rubbing the back of his head. "Um, s-sorry. Stress, I, uh, t-think." Shinji blinks, then, noticing the GOINGS ON. "...d-do you guys, um, need a time out or something?"
C:KHYRONBRAIN.EXE has encountered a General Protection Fault. (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (P)ut it in? "M-Me?", the purple one stammers with a most curious flush coming to his own cheeks. Too late, Breetai and Exedore are gone, and he got left holding the bag. "Filthy disgusting Micronians! Y-You! You three!" Rico, Bron, and Konda make another cameo appearance with a salute. "Put the Micronians back in their cage! Most disturbing, yes, I have battalion matters to attend to!" Like booze. And flowers. And women. Women? AAAH! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!
Beep. Whrrrrrrrrr.
WELCOME TO FISTS XP
Ding.
Tatsuki's eyes clear, she sees Shinji there, and as she is released, says, "AAAAAAAAARGH." Then she suddenly jerks back with her entire body, spins around, and driving on total reflex, circle-kicks Shinji right in the neck.
Two seconds of rubbing her mouth pass before she says, "....CRAP I did it again!" and, to her credit, actually goes over to make sure she didn't just kill the poor guy.
Back on earth, Amuro winces. Again, he's not sure why.
Bright Noah raises an eyebrow at his most useful, yet weirdest pilot, and sighs. "Now, are you going to hurry and help me with this paperwork or do I have to smack you again?"
Exedore wonders, as he tries to recover from the shock of the kiss, if the ensuing violence was the female's way of accepting the male's offer and commencement of the incredibly violent mating ritual. Perhaps this was a strange and mysterious varient known as a 'kung fu action flick'. He really can't put any words together at the moment though as he continues to watch the unfolding drama.
"YOU KNOW YOU LIKED IT KRAVSHERA AH-HA HA HA YOU TOO PARINO I SAW THAT oh shi-" Action! Shinji says, abruptly torn from /feeding/ off of Potential Sassy Rival Number Seventy Eight's suffering by the sheer force of Arisawa's rage.
"Oh shi-" Shinji echos, before he's ROUNDHOUSE KICKED by Japan's answer to Chuck Norris, and since Eva is a show with an actual sense of humor, actualy /ping-pongs/ off of the four walls of the cage before landing in a heap on the floor.
He weakly gives the others a little thumbs up. "I'm...I'm hokay..." pause. "S-scratsh that...I'm...alive!...mostly..."
Miriya's too busy staggering back and looking away as she tries to get the horrifying, sickening #-1 FUNCTION (ANSI) EXPECTS 2 ARGUMENTS BUT GOT 1 out of her head and runs out the door. The Meltrandi has left the building.
Curses! Khyron's plan to injure a Micronian to force their healer to demonstrate how they heal someone was ruined too! It's all your fault, Exedore! Just for that, you're not getting invited over to the Party Van!
At this range, the emotionally sensitive among the search team may be able to sense a strong emotion eminiating from the gigantic asteroid that seems to dominate the landscape at the center of the Zentradi fleet.
Very, very strong shock, and a certain degree of revulsion. As if a million Zentradi cried out, and then were silenced as they tried to figure out what in the world they had just seen or heard about.
"Jeze," Shinji mutters, "I'm not /that/ bad..." Pause. "Am I?"
WHEN: 29 September 2010
WHERE: Dolza's Flagship - Zentraedi Armada Holding Area
WHAT: Dolza has his command staff investigate the Micronian Captives.
WATCH FOR: EVERYTHING. OMG, EVERYTHING.
Fold space is both pretty, and extremely boring. You can only look out into the vast, twisting nether that exists between this universe and whatever segment of reality that is defined in the obscure mathematics that fold space represents for so long before you either go mad, or decide that it is far too boring to actually look at, and try to find something else to do.
Of course, the Micronians are under constant surveillance the entire time that they are on board, to determine what Micronian tricks they might have at their disposal, or simply because a few guards figure that it may earn them a few extra food rations if they could make bootleg copies of their dangerous tiny people. Of course, they don't *seem* all that dangerous - they seem small and squishy for the most part. But perhaps looks are deceiving?
Veritech in Trenchcoat says Yes to this supposition.
But suddenly, the insane lights of fold space end outside of the window, leaving behind nothing but a vast expanse of stars. And ships.
Oh dear lord are there ships.
Outside the window is a vast expanse, a space fleet at anchorage. Zentradi warships stretching as far as the eye can see, tapering off to minute green dots in the distance. And dominating the background is a colossal asteroid base, growing larger and larger with each second as Breetai's flagship begins making its final approach.
This leg of the journey is ending - they have arrived at the Zentradi fleet command station.
Roy's probably the first to notice it amongst the prisoners. The shudder of the command ship. Pushing himself to his feet, the Veritech commander looks around. "Up and at 'em, troops. Looks like we're home."
Going over to where they can see out the viewscreen, Roy stares at the scene, jaw loosening. There's more ships than stars out there. "Oh.. my God." he whispers, staring at the scene.
Tatsuki Arisawa stops punching one of the walls with her mighty fists. She's not attacking - but they have nothing better for her to practice against, and they are not so hard that it hurts too much to practice against them. She could spar, but really, she doesn't want Orihime overexerting herself - they never know when they may NEED Orihime, after all. So, it has been kata for days.
But that is ending now, as she steps over to Roy, and...gapes. "Wh..." she breathes. "That's..."
She is distantly glad that she can only really sense Orihime's spiritual presence. She's not sure she wants to know how many living things there are out there.
"What is it?" Orihime stands to her feet, and instantly regrets it. Ah! Pins and needles! It's definitely not comfortable sitting in a hamster cage for extended periods of time! She winces, rubbing at her sore rear as she shuffles to stand beside Roy. "Home? What do y--o-oh..." Orihime stares in shock, suddenly feeling a pitdrop in her stomach. All those Zentraedi...and she was so hopeful before... Her fingers absently reach to snag Roy's sleeve at his elbow as she steps back. "We're not really going in there, are we?" she whispers, even though she knows the answer.
Shinji Ikari wonders if its worth spending the energy to stand up and look out the window. Its at least, what, ten, twenty calories when you work in the standing up, the walk over, and whatever reaction they're going to expect him to have. Twenty calories closer to needing to eat that food that Khyron's made him oh-so-suspicious of.
And Uncle Drinky sounds...awestruck, which kind of slaps Shinji halfway out of his funk. The Third Child stands up, whincing at the feel of the Plug Suit after a few days of wearing it, hoping he doesn't smell as bad as he thinks he smells, and walks over to look where Roy's looking.
"Where are a-all the ships?" Shinji blinks, takes a closer look, and realizes that those /aren't stars/. He can't find anything to say becides, "Oh.", but Ikari's mouth hangs open, and his right hand starts squeezing in and out of a fist, the nervous habit violently reasserting itself at the terrifing sight of the Zentraedi armada.
This might be an appropriate time, if you could ever hear life's soundtrack, for some dark, sweeping brass piece with a heavy drum going on in the background. Unfortunately, you don't get those sorts of benefits most of the time, and all that the Micronian captives are treated to is the immense size of the Zentradi command station as it looks larger and larger through the viewing screen. And soon, a single black spec opens in the side - a spec that expands to a small hole, and continues growing larger and larger until it becomes obvious that what was once a tiny opening is in fact a vast docking bay, large enough to swallow their ship without even noticing.
Standing on the bridge of said ship, Breetai turns to look at his fellow Zentradi, Exedore and Khyron, as well as their 'guest' - he had no idea why Azonia had insisted that Miriya remain to watch the interrogation, but given that this was a historic, already precedent breaking event, he could find no valid reason to complain. But finally he turns to the main screen of the bridge, and salutes as the image of Lord Dolza is projected across it, transmitted from the Zentradi leader's office.
"As you have requested, Lord Dolza, we have brought a sample of Micronians for analysis and inspection. We have linked you to our video feed - Exedore will begin his examination upon your order."
Miriya stands with her arms crossed, a little uncomfortable to be standing in a room with males without her helmet, but to wear a helmet while facing Lord Dolza would likely be taken as an insult. She says nothing to Breetai and his ilk, but turns to salute Lord Dolza as is customary. She's not so full of sass as to direct it to the Supreme Commander. "Lord Dolza, it is an honor to be a part of your operation."
Rubbing a hand slowly over his face, Roy finally peels his eyes away from the sight of the Zentraedi Armada. He'll remember it for the report.. however, there is sometheing else that seems to be grabbing his attention. He recognizes the docking for what it is. The command ship is not a ship.. it's a small moon.
"I suspect we're going to be getting some visitors soon, guys." the Veritech pilot comments as he turns to lean against the edge of the box. He's a little worried now. But there's no need to admit that to them.
Instead, the commander leans against the edge of the box, looking at Shinji, Tatsuki and Orihime. "You three holding out okay?" he asks, concern there in his voice. "Hopefully we'll know the purpose of this soon."
Khyron stands at attention off to the other side of Breetai, and keeps his mind focused on staring at the screen. That Old Baldy's on it makes it easier for him to concentrate there than back at Miriya. She (she?) has longer hair than he does! "I am honored as well, Lord Dolza," he states with a reverent nod. "This should be an informative study." If not entertaining. Heh. Heh. The Backstabber has plans.
"No." This is probably a joke, even if Shinji's being honest. He looks a little scared, but the kid's trying to be strong, he really is. Just...they're very large, and the only way he can see out of this mess for him involves...
...well, maybe life as a Zentraedi's pet hampster wouldn't be so bad, Shinji thinks. It'd be cleaner than Misato's place...
Orihime Inoue laughs nervously, backing towards the corner. You know. Away from the opening of the cage. "Eh heh heh...I'm not sure I want to know...ignorance is bliss, right?" Her hand dips into the pocket of her flight suit, seeking out Lancer's crystal. She doubts she'll need it, but just the same, knowing that he'll come if she calls is comforting to her. Well, whatever happens, she's going to face it with her chin held high. She presses her lips together stubbornly and does just that.
Tatsuki takes a deep, shuddering breath, staring at the viewscreen. She moves over toward Orihime, taking comfort from her friend's preference, and hopefully providing some with her own. "We'll be OK," she mutters to Orihime. "I'll protect you, I swear." An empty promise, perhaps, but...it's comforting to say it, if nothing else.
"Very well then!" Dolza replies from his office. "It is a pleasure to see the Zentradi and Meltrandi working together towards our mutual victory. Begin your examination Exedore - do not rest until you have discovered the location of the Protoculture technology that Zor secreted upon his ship."
Breetai and Exedore both salute the monitor before it clicks off. Dolza will be watching the entire time, and he likely had a few ideas of his own he might contribute, but for the most part the Micronian operations remained Breetai's to carry out.
Turning on one boot, the Zentradi commander turns to head towards the travel tube. "Come," he says briskly. "We have waited long enough to begin this interrogation of our captives."
A few minutes may go by, before the view inside the captives' room changes again, becoming a sweeping view of the entire Zentradi fleet, panning slowly from left to right and then back again, as well as up and down, showing multitudes of ships in all directions. As the camera continues to pan down, a planet come into view belo, looking... well, not barren and lifeless, but certainly uninviting. The captives are given a few moments to watch before the door chimes, and opens to admit Breetai, Exedore, and the liaisons from the Meltrandi and Lunatic divisions...
"Yes, sir." Miriya steps into the room, her footsteps brisk and businesslike, and narrows her eyes down at the Micronian captives. She doesn't speak to gloat yet, as she doesn't want to interfere with operations, but she can't help but notice that the captives are far less self-assured and cocky this time. Serves them right, laughing in the face of the Zentraedi without knowing their true might. She tosses her hair over her shoulder, letting the others follow.
Males. They're so slow.
As the captives are treated to the wonderful world of Zentraedi land, Roy tenses up. "I wonder if that's the Zentraedi homeworld." he comments off-hand, giving Orihime and the others a small grin of confidence. He can't help but to feel a little guilty. They were dragged into his war, and now here they are.
Noticing Shinji's nerves, Roy risks taking the flask from his pocket, and tosses the silver container over. "Take a swig. It'll make you feel better." he mutters.
That's when the doors open, and in enters One-Eye McGuffin, Mountains McBoobboob, and other assorted sundry. The Veritech pilot draws in his breath and settles his own nerves. This could be a long night.
Shinji Ikari blinks, looking at the flask. ...he's only fifteen. He doesn't do things like that. That's Misato's job.
...and right now, Shinji figures, he needs a little Misato flowing through his veins. Nodding to the Commander, Ikari the Younger takes a quick swig, his eyes widening at the drink-much stronger than the cheap Japanese beer and watered down Montiguean wine he's had before, but Shinji manages to keep it down. He only coughs a little. ...because he's covering his mouth with his right arm, while handing the flask back to Roy. "T-thanks..."
Khyron is other assorted sundry? Sob. Sob. Just for that, he'll save his brilliant plan for last, once Exedore is finished with his preliminary whatevers he's working on. For now, he'll hang in the background, watching intently with his head held high with a better-than-you smirk. Yes, better than you. And you. And especially you.
Orihime Inoue draws close to Tatsuki, and inclines her head. "We'll protect each other," she whispers back, and winks. The more confidence they show, the stronger they'll be. And here they come. At once she recognizes Breetai. How could she forget? The others, though, she's pretty sure she's never seen them before. And Khyron is giving her goosebumps. Yikes, what a scary-looking smirk. But Miriya... What pretty hair! Orihime relaxes a
little. A girl can't be that bad, right?
...Tatsuki...Rukia...Chizuru...
Scratch that. She could very well be the one that flips out and kills them all. Well what can you do? Orihime musters up a little smile and waves.
Tatsuki smiles at Orihime. "Protect each other. Right!" she says, and then looks up as people appear. Oh, wow. This...she steels herself, the girl ready for anything. Such a weird collection of folks. And they ALL look so DIFFERENT. It's...odd.
"Greetings, Micronians!" Breetai booms as he comes to stand above the table. He looks to Exedore and nods, and the smaller (much smaller - Exedore is probably the smallest Zentradi in the room, although that still means he's huge) officer reaches over and removes the top of the cage, allowing the captives to step out onto the table. Which means they're not in the cave... but they have no cover, and probably a good thirty to forty foot leap if they want to get down off the table. Not the most attractive option, certainly.
"I am Breetai, commander of the Zentradi Expedition that has been assigned to track down and capture Zor's ship. Micronians, we demand your complete and immediate unconditional surrender of the stolen ship, and that you immediately hand over whatever Protoculture you possess."
Breetai is certainly loud, and he is being forceful - Exedore shakes his head slightly, however. He had mentioned earlier that simply browbeating the Micronians into submission was unlikely to work, but Breetai had insisted on treating his opponents as true warriors at first. If they proved unworthy, other means of interrogation and investigation would be used.
"You know our demands," Miriya adds, having to get her own words in as a matter of stubborness, if nothing else. "We need the Protoculture. Tell us where it is, and how we can acquire it." It does puzzle her that the Micronians did not mention Protoculture earlier, knowing how important the substance is, but she doesn't bring up this question. The little fools will listen, and listen well!
She leans over the table a little for emphasis. It will make her more intimidating, she figures.
Zor's ship? "You mean the SDF-1." There's no Zor's ship here, bucko. "As far as surrender goes?" Roy coughs up a dry laugh as he folds his arms over his chest and leans against the wall of the box. "Not only am I not in a position to do such a thing -- I sure as hell we wouldn't do it, either." The pilot snorts at the Zentraedi as he starts to feel that old defensive swagger pick in.
"And that ship crashed on our planet, therefore it's ours by right!" he adds angrilly, trying not to pay attention to Miriya's leaning over. Such an uncool tactic, that.
Then.. comes the confused Roy. "Protowhat?" Yes, that's right. He'll play stupid - despite the fact that he was on Lang's search team, and heard too many stories from him during the development of the Valkyrie. Thank goodness for need to know basis.
Shinji, apon seeing Miriya lean over "intimidatingly", suddenly realizes all at once exactly why his Father wears those sunglasses all the time-in doors, /and/ at night. The tiny little part of Shinji Ikari that is a normal fifteen year old boy gains a sudden respect for his old man, and the rest of him concedes that they may consider buying a pair for themselves.
For entierly scientific purposes, naturaly.
Coughing and blushing a little, the not at all tipsy Third Child looks away from Miriya, trying to find a safe target. There, Khyron! Khyron only makes him feel hate and the faint smell of grease, that's safe. "Um...w-what the commander s-said...I guess..." He can't surrender, because he knows, deep down, that Gendo Ikari will tear this plane apart if he believes that there is a serious chance of Unit-01 being perminantly in the hands of an alien force. The fact that Shinji can see first hand just what lengths Commander Ikari will go for things he /does/ care about is just another shaker full of salt in the sucking chest wound that is his relationship with his father.
Also, he actualy doesn't know what Protoculture is. "You m-mean, like...culture? Movies and history and art and s-stuff?"
Orihime Inoue just looks confused. She has no idea what Zor's ship is. She has no idea what Protoculture is. It sounds like the development of protozoas in a petri dish, but that just doesn't make much sense. "Anou...?" She's still looking at Miriya's hair, since part of it swung over her shoulder. If it were just a little lower, Orihime could probably climb it, and have a super fun time doing it, too. Just to say that she once climbed someone's hair.
This is Breetai and Exedore's party, so Khyron will know his place, keep his tongue, and stay in the background for now. Hint, hint, Miriya. The more perceptive of the Micronians, and especially Shinji who happens to be staring at the purple Zentraedi, will notice his attention drift from Miriya over to Orihime and Tatsuki's direction, and then back again. He didn't notice it before, not beneath her armor and uniform, but Azonia's ace has the same bumps - and general body form - as the 'healer' Micronian and her would-be protector too. Intriguing.
Tatsuki Arisawa is looking up. If this moment were just slightly more silly, she would be drawn on a background of question marks. It's not, however, so instead she just looks totally confused. "I don't have any damn idea what you're talking about!"
She doesn't think about climbing Miriya's hair, because Tatsuki's head is nowhere near as fun to be as Orihime's.
"The power of Zor's ship is beyond comprehension, Micronian. Your meddling may have already doomed your entire world, for the Protoculture that Zor placed aboard his ship is more important to us than the existence of your weak, backwater planet.," Breetai replies, his voice obviously displeased by Roy's defiance.
Exedore would love to start pumping Shinji's brain now, since he obviously seems the most willing to divulge the Micronians DEEPEST, DARKEST secrets. Unfortunately, that will not come to pass, as Breetai slams his hand down on the table, looming over Roy.
"Do you understand the helplessness of your situation, Micronian? That only the existence of Zor's ship keeps us from snuffing your race from the universe right this instant?"
Here, even Miriya pulls back (sorry guys) at the expression of Breetai Wrath. She crosses her arms again, looking dignified and Not At All Intimidated by Lord Breetai, and moves her head to toss a lot of hair away from her eyes. This pose is an ancient tradition among the Meltrandi that remains to this day a potent weapon of nonverbal communication. "That one is Fokker, the one who made a brief pact in the battle against the Invid. The white-clad one is the pilot of the Purple Giant, and the two females are hand-to-hand experts."
She's pretty sure those are females, anyway.
Khyron's lips curl up into an even crueller smile. Now we're getting tot he good parts! Zentraedi know not of Good Cop / Bad Cop, however, the Backstabber can't help himself but to play the role of the jerk right now. "Just give me the word, and it shall be done, Commander."
Oh God, Shinji realizes, I've accadentily taught Khyron how to oggle women. ...I'm going to the special hell, aren't I? The one they save for people who talk on their cell phones in the movie theater.
And then Breetai shows the power of the Pimp side of the force, and the sheer force of his pounding fist sends Shinji Ikari sprawling back onto his rear end. "O-ow..." Shinji mutters. Its a little pathetic. Maybe he's part of the Micronian Wuss Caste, in charge of selling their mysterious Micronian breakfast cerials and doing the dishes.
Actualy, that's not that far off.
"Enough guys." Roy mutters as he steps forward, glaring up at Breetai and company. As he sticks his hands in his pockets, the commander finally decides to finally speak up. "I will not subject myself or my charges to your questions any further. You want to know what we're willing to do -- take us back to our home -- and then we'll show you what we can do."
As the hand slams on the table, Roy gives a surprised grunt, falling backwards on his rear, however, he pushes himself back to his feet, becoming even more testy and defiant. "This place is falling apart! I don't even think you could take one volley from the SDF-1 in this old rattletrap!"
"Micronian insolence!" Breetai snarls, looking obvious displased with Roy's attitude now. He may have been pushed slightly too far... or perhaps Breetai was expecting this to happen, for he turns to Khyron, and makes one gestures. "Very well then. Khyron! We shall begin the demonstration. Lord Dolza anticipated the necessity of such a thing."
Breetai turns, looking at the enormous view screen, and Exedore obediently turns and pulls out a remote, tapping a combination into it. The screen alters, the view shifting around to bring the planet below into view. And it is obvious that the Zentradi fleet is beginning to move, although to what purpose is not clear.
"We have long known that the Micronians are a treacherous and manipulative species. However, the Zentradi are a noble and honorable race of warriors - we do not make promises lightly. Therefore, you shall be given a demonstration of what fate awaits your planet if you do not surrender immediately!"
Ever seen Star Wars?
The director of Macross sure has!
But Miriya hasn't. Even so, she remains quiet for now, a smug smile on her face as she turns to the monitor. She's eager to see the reactions of the Puny Ones to this show of Zentraedi firepower.
Tatsuki listens intently. As the fist slams on the table, however, she's prepared - ready for combat and with well-honed reflexes, she actually retains her feet. Barely - she's off-center from it, anyway, legs spread wide and arms likewise out. She growls, but has nothing to say - she doesn't KNOW anything!
She returns to center, though, looking at the screen with silent dread. This feels much, much too familiar.
Orihime Inoue glances rapidly back and forth between the view of the planet and Breetai. "W-wait a minute!" She's seen this episode of Star Wars, and she's NOT looking forward to it! "That's...that's a terrible waste! Don't do that! There might be people living down there, or people COULD live down there! Come on, please? I don't even know what Protoculture is! Gosh..."
Heh. Breetai's command is met with an obedient nod from the purple Zentraedi, and he makes a motion towards a secondary communications unit to the side. "Grel," Khyron intones into the radio as an eye wanders back over towards Shinji, "Have the Botoru Battalion assume the lead position. I want to make it perfectly clear to the Micronians just what level of power they're dealing with."
Shinji Ikari has absolutely no idea what to say, right now.
He attempts to lock eyes with Khyron, but somehow, whatever strength he had during the past few days is fading away into nothingness. He can't even speak. Shinji Ikari does, however, make a decision that the Zentraedi would be very interested in knowing about.
Roy holds up his hand to Orihime. It's not meant to be authoritative -- but he is the commander of the group. And.. it's his homeworld that's represented here, right. "There's got to be some reason they haven't just up and destroyed us, Orihime." he whispers to her, before looking back up towards Breetai.
"Cowards!" he shouts angrilly, eyes narrowing. "You fear the SDF-1! We possess a power that even you cannot begin to comprhend, and it will destroy you!" And he hopes to God he's there to see it.
Tatsuki Arisawa just...grits her teeth, steps up for just a moment to interpose herself between Orihime and...reality? But no, she looks back at Orihime, knows she can't protect the girl from this, and just...tries to be close by.
Her hand reaches out, silently. She senses now is probably a good time to break the personal space rules.
The fleet continues to move slowly, until it seems to engulf the planet below them. And then another view screen comes on, and the intimidating form of Dolza appears, looking down upon the Micronians. "Know this, Micronians. I am Dolza, Lord of the Zentradi race. You shall do well to heed the words of my loyal servants, for this shall be the result of your folly!"
And the nearest ships of the Zentradi fleet begin to deploy, their forward ends unhinging to reveal a massive bay lined with emitters. And each of them swing around, bringing their primary Reflex Cannons to bear on the planet below. And then Dolza raises his voice, and commands the fleet. "ZENTRADI. FIRE AT WILL."
When Han Solo said that it would take more firepower than half of the Starfleet, he hadn't ever met a fleet the size of the Zentradi fleet. Millions upon millions of warships fire as one, unleashing a rain of destruction upon the surface of the planet below. Immediately the surface blackens, consumed beneath terrible black swirls of dirt and ash. But moments later even that vanishes as the atmosphere of the planet is burned by the attacks. And then the second volley goes out, slamming to the planet, and the surface begins to glow, the first hint of the hellish fires being lit within.
And then a third volley.
And a fourth, as the Zentradi armada pours energy into the planet, reducing its crust to a molten ruin, causing huge plumes of material to erupt forth from below. In a matter of minutes the entire planet has been reduced to a glowing ball of molten rock, gigantic craters marking its surface as matter continues to drift away into space.
"This is the price of disobedience, Micronians! Remember that," Dolza comments, before nodding to Breetai to continue the interrogation.
Miriya considers adding a, "so there," but she assumes that the point has been made clear enough. "We hope you'll cooperate, of course. We need the Protoculture. We do not need your planet intact." She does glances at Khyron, whom she noticed has been acting a little strange. Maybe he's just not used to Meltrandi. Then her gaze settles on the prisoners again, and she watches for their reactions.
Orihime Inoue isn't the best example for strength right now. Her hand clutches Tatsuki's tightly, and a muffled sob sounds from the girl as she hides her face against her best friend's back. All those people...what a horrible way to die. They probably had no idea what was happening until it was too late. They probably screamed. They probably suffered. Orihime's shoulders quiver as she gulps down another sob. Roy will have to continue being defiant and attention-grabbing, because really, Orihime is a little ashamed at her lack of control.
Those poor people...
There's a long, slow pause as Roy stares at the destruction and hell that the Zentraedi hath unleashed. The flight commander's eyes go from wide and fearful at the display of power back to anger and pure defiance.
"You.. miserable sons of bitches!" he yells up at the Interrogators. "Soon as I get my hands on a mecha, any mecha, I'm going to personally tear you a brand new..." the rest is lost as just spits pure insolence at the Zentraedi.
He has nothing but contempt for this court, it seems.
Not to worry, Miriya. Khyron is now preoccupied with watching the destruction with the approving expression of someone whose favorite candle flavor is 'Napalm'. "Glorious," he nearly sings, speaking out of turn just this once. This is too priceless of a moment to pass up commenting on! "It has been far too long since we- eh?" The Backstabber's is caught by surprise and even perhaps in horror by the strange sounds coming from the one with the bigger bumps.
Exedore can ask the question, but this Zentraedi really wants to know just what she's doing!
Tatsuki Arisawa's fist clenches. They....those bastards...destroyed a planet, eradicated all life on it, and...and...and...!
...and they made Orihime cry. Every muscle quivers with rage. Her friend's tears mean nothing compared to the suffering of whoever may have lived there...but to Tatsuki, it is a far more immediate, and far more infuriating concern. She glarse at the Zentraedi before them with naked hatred, and a fury so great it might just actually have physical force.
Tatsuki's spiritual pressure, muffled by the presence of her body, stirs, not that anyone but Orihime could notice it.
Shinji Ikari has seen, as part of his education, pictures, videos, and first hand accounts of the devestation the Second Impact has had on his own homeworld. Entire cities, drowned overnight, or ripped in half as continents became islands, the brutal aftermath of the undeclaired world war that sprung up overnight as the great powers tried to figure out what the hell to do with a world that was suddenly cut in half.
This, some rational part of Shinji notes, finally beats that. And, this treacherously lucid voice notes, they're proud of themselves. They liked it. He pulls his knees up to his chest, tears spilling down his face, and he finally rests his head against his knees, muttering something.
"Whatever you want me to do, Commander, I'll do. I don't care anymore." is what he's saying, but its faint and stuttered and over quiet wimpers, so Roy and the rest would be forgiven for not hearing anything.
However, the Micronians may have their nerves settled a bit by Breetai's next statement. "This planet was an uninhabited dust ball - however, it could be your own planet next Micronians. Bear that in mind," he comments, before turning aside. Because he had captured a look from his good friend that he knew he should not ignore. And so the Zentradi commander steps back, and instead Exedore steps up to the plate, looking down at the captives.
"So," Exedore begins, and the captives may be amazed by how someone who is that large can sound so... nasal. Heck, sound like a bit of a bookworm, truth be told. "You mentioned that the 'SDF-1' as you call it possesses a great power. So it is true then that you do know of the Protoculture on board the ship, and have been using it for your own advantage." The Zentradi scholar nods to himself. "Yes, our scouting missions have seen many unusual activities going on during our investigations of that ship - it is clear that you are using the power of Protoculture to your own benefit. "
Breetai cuts in here, booming, "Yes - tell us Micronians - was it the Protoculture that allowed you to develop your unusual fighting craft, or taught you the strange fighting tactics you use?"
"...Protoculture? Hell no." Roy grumbles as he continues to be rather angry and defiant as he looks from Exedore and Miriya back to Breetai. "We cut our teeth busily fighting each other way before you people decided to attack us!" he says, snorting as he reaches over to give Orihime's shoulder a reassuring touch.
"...and what do mean unusual activities?" he asks Exedore. "Let's get this straight - you're the weird ones here. Girls not allowed to be with boys, your 'great' female ace freaking out over a plush toy - how the heck are you guys created anyways, if you don't have sex?"
Uh-oh. Roy just said the secret word.
"So you claim to have developed these tactics on your own? But they make no sense. They're...wait, what?" Miriya stops short and blinks at Roy's accusations. "That 'toy' was a vile trap of yours!" She actually turns a little red, though, and wonders why her capillaries are increasing their bloodflow in her cheeks at the mention of such a thing. What the hell is that about? "It's stranger that males and females live together. Strange and destructive! And odd! And what is 'have sex?' Is that the term you use for the DNA cloning process?"
It's a stupid term, she decides.
Shinji Ikari doesn't look up. There's no point? What can someone as worthless as him do? He can't even get his own father to love him, how can he handle alien fleets that whipe out planets for fun?
How indeed, is what Berserker Shinji should be saying. But Berserker Shinji is very quiet, right now, which means the other Shinjis-within-Shinji are keeping the hell away. That's when the big goof's actualy dangerous.
Meanwhile, in the bowels of the ship, wherever they're keeping Evangelion Unit-01, any guards patroling the machine might report a low, animalistic sound, almost like a growl, coming from the purple giant, or that its horrible eyes seemed to glow, a little, with the white fire. But that's impossible! It has no pilot, and no power, and generaly seems to be a useless, armored puppet if anyone becides Shinji Ikari is trying to make it work. Just paranoia from too much time near the bizarre Micronian technology.
They're...cloned? Orihime blinks a bit. She's recovering fast from Breetai's explanation, and heaves a sigh of relief. No life...thank goodness. Well doesn't /she/ feel sheepish! "Heh...sorry..." She thumbs at her cheeks and sniffles. She's smiling now, and glances gratefully at Roy and Tatsuki. They're so nice to her. But now she's wondering what on earth Kon was doing while she was asleep. Didn't they ask him to pretend to be a stuffed animal so no one would expect anything? What happened? "I'm from another world beyond the Gates, myself," she volunteers, cheering up a bit. "This is my first time in space, really. Ah...thank you for not killing anybody," she bows a bit. Roy might frown at that, but even so, she IS glad. But she falls silent as the conversation strays towards things that make her face turn red. Eeeeeeeee...
Tatsuki Arisawa's spiritual force sputters and dies, slowly, as she realizes that nobody was killed, and Orihime is calmer. The marginal glow, really little more than a shimmer in the air, that had formed around her similarly dissipates. But these guys have performed a terrible sign, to Tatsuki's eyes, and for that she is going to break them all into tiny pieces. If she has to, she will punch them in the toes until they die. She is confident this will work eventually.
She remains silent, just breathing, getting herself under control. The damn cage is made of Space Plastic of The Future, it's not like she's going to break it with her bare hands unless she really goes all-out, and even then, what would it accomplish? They'd probably just kill her, and she can't die yet.
So she...sits there. Breathing. Controlling herself, and trying to be strong for herself and for Orihime. She lets Roy do the talking; she has nothing to add.
"Meltrandi and Zentradi are separate species - there is no reason for us to interact at a level beyond what is necessary for our dominance of the galaxy," Breetai replies to Roy. "It is obviously your degenerate culture that has made you into such a primitive species, if you believe that interactions between Meltrandi and Zentradi can lead to more than chaos and mistrust." Which more or less sums up his feelings on that.
But Exedore is more willing to explore along these lines. "Lord Breetai, I believe that this is worth investigating a bit more. It is obvious that this chaotic interaction between males and females is a key component to their methods, and we may be able to discover the influence of Protoculture upon them by studying this." He looks curiously at Miriya - what an odd question. "We are all created from a master template, and are cloned to produce more warriors. It is clear that you humans operate in some form of symbiotic relationship between males and females - the information I have gained calls this symbotic interaction 'romance'. I wish to discover more information about this biological link."
No, Exedore, you're supposed to ask why the Micronian female was sobbing! The stupid nerd passed on a perfect moment to pick on a Micronian weakness. Grr. Khyron holds his head up a little higher just as someone says the magic words - which seem to have no effect on the big purple bully. Ha! You can't make him react to sex if he doesn't know what it is! What is having an effect, however, is that some of the faces are starting to turn red. He's never really seen that before, either, which is why he's gaping slightly and rubbing his own jaw. Intriguing.
Hey, the nerd's actually being useful now. "Romance, Exedore?", the Backstabber asks, still stroking his chin as things get curiouser and curiouser. "Fascinating. I would like to learn more about this myself." No, not for that, you silly Micronians. Khyron the Super Pimp is still in his infancy stages, this is Khyron the Military Genius in command here.
Roy blinks at the big bad alien.. that wants to have romance explained to him. Well, Mister and Miss Zentraedi, you came to the right spot. Folding his thumbs into his pockets, the Veritech Commander laughs. A short, hard, snarky laugh. "...romance, huh?" he asks casually. "Well, you see, it starts when a boy and a girl like each other. Once they see an attraction to each other, then they start dating. Maybe they'll go to a movie. Or for a swim. Or out to dinner. If there's a real attraction, then they'll move forward in a kiss. And well, from there..."
"Eh-heh." Roy really gives a grin now. "Well, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes girl getting pregnant, putting the poor guy through nine months of Hell and midnight runs for sardines and chocolate ice cream, just for 36 hours of labor to have a baby. And you never hear the end of it. And that's if you're lucky! Most of the time, girls don't even get past first base with the typical guy."
"For your scorecards, Exedore, first base is kissing. The heavy petting doesn't come til second base -- and maybe, maybe, if you're lucky you can get there. If not, and you're caught stealing second early - aggressive females could break your arm."
A look is made at Tatsuki.
Shinji Ikari would be making a witty comment right now, but he's lost in an endless downward spiral of self-loathing and failure.
Roy, hit him out of it. Quick!
Miriya...
Stares at Roy as if he has just explained how he is an automobile and likes to fly on a unicorn. It would have made as much sense to her. "So reproduction results from this 'kiss?' Or rather, it's the initiaton? This seems rather complicated and inefficient as a means to reproduce, and I for one am glad our society has avoided this."
Irony is a bitch.
"However, what is this kiss thing? It is clearly important to your Culture." She shoots a look at Shinji, who is looking all mopey and needs to be reminded to STAND ON HIS FEET PUNY PERSON YOU ARE BEING ADDRESSED BY YOUR BIGGERS.
Orihime Inoue is just glad that Kon is asleep. If he wasn't, she's pretty sure there would have been a small 'pop!' and an explosion of cloth and stuffing fluttering like soft snowflakes all about the cage. She almost feels like bursting with embarrassment herself. This is way, way, way more than she needed to know. And yet...well...she has to wonder if chocolate ice cream and sardines can be made more flavorful in a stew or chili, with cumin and cucumbers. Do pregnant women really desire such things? ...Is Orihime herself well-suited for pregnancy since she already craves weird things like that all the time?
Tatsuki Arisawa breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's it. THat's right. It's allll O--kay...
WHAT THE HELL HAVE THEY BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES AAAAAH. Tatsuki finally parses what she's been hearing, and blushes BEAT RED. "Wh!" she stammers, because she has no idea how to react to this topic other than aimless indignance.
Exedore nods. "Yes yes, I see." No he doesn't, but he is recording all of this information for future reference. "Very well, can you demonstrate for us then?"
"Yes," Breetai rumbles, and raises one hand, ominously, to point at Roy, and then at Shinji. And with all of the terrible force that a colossal warlord who has crushed countless enemies and star systems beneath his heel can muster, he orders"You two! You shall demonstrate to us this thing you call a 'kiss'."
Exedore clears his throat, thus saving Roy and Shinji from what may have been a horrible fate. "...Lord Breetai, I do not believe that act is carried out between males..."
"Very well then!" And Breetai turns around, and points imperiously at Orihime and Tatsuki. "Then, the two of you will demonstrate this 'kiss' for us!"
Exedore gives a thumbs up. He wants to see this.
"Kissing?" Roy asks, "It's when two people put their lips together... it's tonsil hockey, first base, tongue wrestling, frenching, making out.. and.." then there's a pause as Breetai yells at him to kiss Shinji. Like hell!
Wait, Tatsuki and Orihime? Hell, he could go for some of that action, too, admittedly. "It should be a man and a woman." however, he does point that out.
Miriya raises an eyebrow and glances over at the male Zentraedi with some irritation.
She doesn't know why, but something just went AAARGH. Perhaps she and Tatsuki are kindred spirits, deep down. "Wait, sir...are you sure those two should...but they seem rather similar, and..."
Shinji Ikari was busy drowning in a sea of his own failure and self-loathing and he's a miserable useless little perverted housebroken monster who eats babies and caused the Great Depression and Tatsuki and Orihime are kissing-
And all of a sudden, Shinji's inner Guy says, "Jigga what?" and smacks him out of it.
Shinji then sees Exedore's thumbs up, and wonders if, in fact, the giant aliens have been making fun of them this entire time. He also gives Commander Fokker a dry, "You're the adult, remember?" look, because he's SURE the man needs one right now.
be counterproductive to the lesson."
"Are you sure?" Khyron narrows his eyes at Roy for a moment, then shakes his head. "I would advise going against the Commander's orders." Something just went Awwwwwwriiiiiiiiight.
Tatsuki Arisawa opens her mouth.
Shuts it.
Opens her mouth.
Shuts it.
Finally: "WHAT THE "
Sudden well-placed shot of the silence of space goes here.
"...do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Arisawa?" Shinji mutters because he's clearly suicidal.
"...Shinji, kiss Tatsuki." Roy says this, calmly. Quietly. "...and Tatsuki, don't break his arm. It's kind of important. Okay?"
Khyron glances curiously at Exedore. "What is-" Look, My Little Ponies! "- and a mother?"
"That is an interesting term," Miriya notes. "Exedore, do you have any record of-" KITTEN! IN A TISSUE BOX! "in Micronian culture?"
Orihime Inoue is just confused. How could they not know what a kiss is? Kisses are nice. They make you feel like you're standing in a thick vat of cotton, warm all over, and your heart starts pounding like a war drum, and...
And she's spacing out. Which is probably for the best, because it's bad enough she has to deal with that kind of behavior from Chizuru at home. Space Perverts don't deserve any better.
Breetai, however, is not amused at this delay. "We are waiting," he booms, looking down at the Micronians. "Demonstrate this kissing act then, as you would go about it Micronians, or there will be consequences." Like... them trying to pick you up and making you do it by force! Nevermind that would be ugly and crazy and all sorts of wrong. You know that they'll try. But all of them do seem curious -even Breetai has uncrossed his arms and is leaning over the table with Exedore to get a better view of the coming action.
If this was some biological linkage, would it immediately lead to other things, Exedore wonders? Fascinating.
That order gets Shinji Ikari standing up, though he's wearing a look of mild horror that would, perhaps, be more approprate to Ranma Saotome, or one of the other oft-henpecked protagonists in the IPA's dread service. But, again, Shinji is all they got. "You want me to kiss /her/?! She just taught the Space Vikings how to break rating!" Shinji says, wide eyed and pointing. He then looks over at Orihime, and is relieved that she's oblivious(again), since if she was upset Tatsuki would probably skin him. He tries not to be bitter over Orihime's ability to completly avoid having anything that happens to anyone else matter to her at all, and manages to succede thanks to the overwheling probability that he's going to help teach the Zentraedi about the birds and the bees. Or at least the grade school verson.
...Okay, so he's kind of attracted to the type-A personality type, he admits it, he kind of likes it when the redhead yells because that means she gives a crap maybe he's just screwed up for thinking that's a turn on and WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH back up Ikari. Shinji really doesn't want to go there right now, he decides, he has enough problems without trying to figure out what state, exactly, his own little web of not-relationships is in, and what he actualy feels about certain people. Uuugh.
Shinji did say that he'd follow Fokker's orders though, and he slumps his shoulders with a sigh. "C-could you not hold my nose?" Shinji mutters, and then tries to perk up a little. "...hey, at least this, um, isn't your f-first, huh?"
Not like anyone would want to share their first kiss with him, Shinji thinks, and is kind of glad it isn't his either, even if The Other Kiss was another one of Asuka's pranks. Sigh. Shinji takes a step forward, waiting to make sure Tatsuki isn't going to go insane and kill him instead. Ikari blinks, snapping his fingers...
And takes out a tin of curiously strong mints. "Emergency pack." Shinji explains, and pops one in his mouth real quick. He figures he can choke it down by the time Arisawa's finished yelling and has started paying attention to reality again.
Mints? Oh, Shinji, you dog you.
But let's see what Tatsuki does, hmm?
For the record? Contamination of the Zentraedi race?
Exedore's fault.
Tatsuki has by now wound down to explaining in EXACTING DETAIL what species Exedore's X chromosome came from.
After she describes the dog-headed she-beasts of Omicron Seven, with a million hideous sucking tentacles that all do nothing but LOOK UGLY AND FEAST ON MAGGOTS, she finally actually hears the part about kissing Shinji, and stops dead, craning her head around in slow, robotic motions to look at the timid kid. "wh" she stammers again.
"Hurry up," Miriya's impatient voice thunders. "I want to see this kiss for myself! Is it really so much work?" At this rate, man, there better be glitter and lasers and explosions and Shinji had better sprout wings.
Oh lord, Tatsuki, this isn't the time to go into vapor lock, is it? Looking between Shinji and Tatsuki and then back to Orihime, Roy gives a long shrug of his shoulders. "..I.. don't think they're going to do it, Orihime." he tells her quietly. "Look, we both know we're taken. So, if they don't go forward, we'll just do it and forget about it." he says to the girl quietly. "Don't ask, don't tell, right?"
Orihime Inoue blinks. Blinks. And blinks again. She looks up at Miriya, coming out of her space fantasy of bobbing along with Ling in space suits, racing towards Mars with flag in hand to claim it before the eeeeeeeevil Zentraedi with their curly handlebar moustaches and giant afros (the true sign of any villain) get there first.
"Huh? OH! Well, you see...kissing isn't really worth much if you don't love the person you're kissing. Then it's just kind of weird! Unless it's a kiss between a parent and child, that's okay...hm?" Orihime looks at Roy, then over at Tatsuki and Shinji. ...What are they doing? Tatsuki looks like she's been petrified, poor girl!
"Hee hee! It's okay, you guys, don't worry about it. Roy-san's right." And he's the ideal sort of father figure in Orihime's mind, so it's almost like parent and child. "We'll do it, if you guys feel too awkward. No big deal over here!" she flaps her hand.
Breetai booms again, "I'm waiting."
Khyron remains silent, forboding, and utterly curious. One day he will visit this mysterious Omicron Seven and defeat the dog-headed she-beasts himself! Until then, there's something odd that he needs to straighten out. "'Love' the person you are kissing? Is that the problem, that these two do not 'love' each other, whatever that means?" Hmm. If he knew of the concept of devil-horns, the Backstabber would sprout a pair right out of his bad '80's haircut. "Perhaps we should obtain a pair who /are/ in love then."
Shinji Ikari twitch. Twitch. Twitch.
Sometimes, Shinji, see, doesn't snap and there's death and destruction and mom having Angel Barbeque. Sometimes, once in a while, that Shonen gland hidden somewhere in his brain actualy starts working, and he gets really sick of this crap. "D-d-d-damn it! I might be worthless, but I can at least k-kiss someone! Jeze!"
Shinji procedes to /stomp/ the remainder of the distance between himself and Arisawa, grab her shoulders, pause because Mister Kaji taught him that a gentleman always pauses dramaticly before this sort of thing...
And actualy dips Tatsuki, Disney movie style, before kissing her right on the lips.
Oh god, don't break his spleen, Tatsuki. Roy thinks as he steps back to stand protectively next to his fellow group leader. "..he's not half bad. Little overdramatic.."
Then, loudly, "SLIP HER THE TONGUE!"
Tatsuki then looks over at ROY (tall, drunk, and vaguely handsome) and ORIHIME (tall, booby, and gorgeous) and concludes immediately that she would have to commit seppuku if the two actually kissed. Complete failure as a protector! But...but...but...SHINJI. But...those two. But...
Smooch.
....
THIS PROGRAM HAS COMMITTED AN ILLEGAL ERROR AND MUST BE SHUT DOWN
The same message flashes in the head of just about every Zentraedi present too.
Slowly, Tatsuki's legs rises off the ground, because she's so completely floored that she doesn't even notice she's getting into it.
And on this day, this 29 September 2006, Shinji Ikari became a man.
And somewhere, on another Earth, Amuro Ray forehead flashes.
For no apparent reason. What, is someone going to throw a brick at him in Bright's office?
Orihime Inoue blinks. Wow. Who knew he had it in him? If Shinji had demonstrated something like that before the auction, he probably would have doubled the bidding price. "Like that!" she gestures with a sparkling smile.
"Now you guys try it!"
"Is love something important? The word has no real meaning," Miriya comments, though her oddly well-manicured hands are tapping against the table. "So hurry up and-...
"And..."
Her eyes widen, and her lips part as she lets loose a horrified half-scream, half-gasp. It isn't the fact that Weenie Boy actually kissed. It's that /kiss./ The very action of it brings up emotions and senses she can't understand! Her entire being has been brain-crashed by the very essence of...
<3!!!!!!
That look on Tatsuki's face? Magnify it several times as Miriya just plain staggers from her seat. "I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO-TO-TO DO THAT!"
"AAAUGH."
"Dis...disgusting!"
Breetai and Exedore are obviously taken serious aback by the display being put on by the two Micronians on the table. Breetai just looks at the two, and manages to gag out after a moment, "Pro...protoculture!" Dolza can be heard gagging in the background on his screen before it finally clicks off, the display too much for him to take.
Breetai finally manages to get ahold of himself, and looks over at Khyron. "Return these Micronians to their cage! We must... pause for now, and examine their Protoculture psychological warfare tactics." With that he turns around, apparently about to make his way out of the room at an increased pace. This display of Protoculture... most disturbing.
Roy joins in. "Yeah! You two!" Roy says, pointing at Miriya and Breetai. "You two should give it a.. err. Well, maybe not." He blinks, looking back at where Shinji and Tatsuki are liplocked. "I didn't think they did a half-bad job, Orihime."
Shinji Ikari knows he's going to die.
If not Tatsuki, Amuro. If not Amuro, Asuka. If not Asuka, Misato will find out SOMEHOW and tease him about it until he actualy dies.
So, before everything else, he slowly stands back up, coughs discreetly, and-perhaps just to the fellahs in the room-eyebrowl waggles. Just a little.
Then he abruptly remembers his personality and coughs again, flush faced and rubbing the back of his head. "Um, s-sorry. Stress, I, uh, t-think." Shinji blinks, then, noticing the GOINGS ON. "...d-do you guys, um, need a time out or something?"
C:KHYRONBRAIN.EXE has encountered a General Protection Fault. (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (P)ut it in? "M-Me?", the purple one stammers with a most curious flush coming to his own cheeks. Too late, Breetai and Exedore are gone, and he got left holding the bag. "Filthy disgusting Micronians! Y-You! You three!" Rico, Bron, and Konda make another cameo appearance with a salute. "Put the Micronians back in their cage! Most disturbing, yes, I have battalion matters to attend to!" Like booze. And flowers. And women. Women? AAAH! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!
Beep. Whrrrrrrrrr.
WELCOME TO FISTS XP
Ding.
Tatsuki's eyes clear, she sees Shinji there, and as she is released, says, "AAAAAAAAARGH." Then she suddenly jerks back with her entire body, spins around, and driving on total reflex, circle-kicks Shinji right in the neck.
Two seconds of rubbing her mouth pass before she says, "....CRAP I did it again!" and, to her credit, actually goes over to make sure she didn't just kill the poor guy.
Back on earth, Amuro winces. Again, he's not sure why.
Bright Noah raises an eyebrow at his most useful, yet weirdest pilot, and sighs. "Now, are you going to hurry and help me with this paperwork or do I have to smack you again?"
Exedore wonders, as he tries to recover from the shock of the kiss, if the ensuing violence was the female's way of accepting the male's offer and commencement of the incredibly violent mating ritual. Perhaps this was a strange and mysterious varient known as a 'kung fu action flick'. He really can't put any words together at the moment though as he continues to watch the unfolding drama.
"YOU KNOW YOU LIKED IT KRAVSHERA AH-HA HA HA YOU TOO PARINO I SAW THAT oh shi-" Action! Shinji says, abruptly torn from /feeding/ off of Potential Sassy Rival Number Seventy Eight's suffering by the sheer force of Arisawa's rage.
"Oh shi-" Shinji echos, before he's ROUNDHOUSE KICKED by Japan's answer to Chuck Norris, and since Eva is a show with an actual sense of humor, actualy /ping-pongs/ off of the four walls of the cage before landing in a heap on the floor.
He weakly gives the others a little thumbs up. "I'm...I'm hokay..." pause. "S-scratsh that...I'm...alive!...mostly..."
Miriya's too busy staggering back and looking away as she tries to get the horrifying, sickening #-1 FUNCTION (ANSI) EXPECTS 2 ARGUMENTS BUT GOT 1 out of her head and runs out the door. The Meltrandi has left the building.
Curses! Khyron's plan to injure a Micronian to force their healer to demonstrate how they heal someone was ruined too! It's all your fault, Exedore! Just for that, you're not getting invited over to the Party Van!
At this range, the emotionally sensitive among the search team may be able to sense a strong emotion eminiating from the gigantic asteroid that seems to dominate the landscape at the center of the Zentradi fleet.
Very, very strong shock, and a certain degree of revulsion. As if a million Zentradi cried out, and then were silenced as they tried to figure out what in the world they had just seen or heard about.
"Jeze," Shinji mutters, "I'm not /that/ bad..." Pause. "Am I?"