Bunny Beats Doggy
WHO: Isshin Kurosaki (As Chappygami), Lancer
WHERE: Karakura, some vacant lot
WHEN: September 16th, 2006
WHAT: Lancer is lured into a NEFARIOUS TRAP and comes face to face with a most formidable foe!
WATCH FOR: Chappy-Chappy Stabby Stabby!
It's an overcast day in Karakura Town, with clouds thick and leaden in an iron-grey sky. No shadows lie on the ground, with such dim light; and the scent of rain lies heavy in the air. A light breeze skirls through the town every so often, rattling tree branches and rustling clothing, as though to remind the sleepy town that in time, winter is coming.
Of course, not everybody really gives a hoot about the weather.
The Hound of Culann couldn't pick a better time to go strolling along the avenue, clad in his usual blue armour, with a blood-red spear slung casually over one pauldroned shoulder. No one seems to pay any mind to the weapon, though, fierce as it looks. In fact, no one seems to pay any mind to him, or the fact that he's walking straight through everyone and most things in his way. Spirit form has its advantages, and that includes walking right through what would otherwise be a very annoying crowd to have to negotiate.
True, Karakura Town is a little boring in its own way. Modern technology doesn't elicit much reaction from the Servant -- it doesn't interest him, he isn't afraid of it, and in fact he tends to ignore it most of the time, with the exception of the radio that Ling gave him... which he also kind of ignores, in all honesty. The people here are frustratingly set on their own business, and it's too much of an open area to really bother messing with them and startling passers-by. He can't even get drunk.
But, he had wanted to check up on Orihime after the fashion show and see that she's doing alright. He did swear her into his protection, after all -- and while he might not be the exemplary show of loyalty and honour that an Arthurian knight would be, he still does have his own brand of honour; and adheres to it fiercely.
HMMMMM! But there is another fact that makes today an interesting day! That is the fact that there is, dangling in midair, right at headheight to the wandering spirit...a sign. With a big arrow pointed on it. It's pointing towards a vacant, outta the way lot. Odd, neh? I mean, why would there be a sign, apparently drawn on paper, hanging around just for the eye of a wandering foreign spirit, hmmm?
...And, come to think it, why's there a strong pulse of spiritual energy coming from the same area. As well as a bit of a distant roaring noise?
It certainly isn't part of an ancient Amazing Perfect Hollow Catching Technique Handed Down From The Ancestors, nosiree. Nor is it a trap! NOT A TRAP. Really.
There is even a smaller sign, attached by a hook, that says, "Not A Trap."
Hollows aren't that bright.
Those armoured boots scuff to a halt as the Servant catches sight of something a little bit incongruous. That hand-scrawled message is more than a little untrustworthy. Nobody seems to be paying any attention to it, and that second sign is just the sort of thing to make any decently smart person smack their forehead in exasperation. Never mind that enticing pulse of spiritual energy coming from just around the corner, as it were. And so, in his immutable wisdom, the Hound of Culann can do only one thing.
He frowns, shoulders his spear a little more firmly, and whirls to march in the direction of that sign and lot.
"Hey! Stupid!" His shout is a challenge, and he comes with all the confidence of somebody absolutely certain of their skills and power. "Come out from wherever you're hiding, and face me like a real warrior! Or are you scared? Huh? C'mon out of there, wherever you're hiding, and let me kick your arse proper-like!"
Never you mind that manic grin on his face. Oh, this is going to be fun.
...Well, there IS a giant beast of some sort. Very large one. IT's got claws and the teething and the biting and...it's missing a head. And slumping over, leaking ichor for a moment, afore it slowly starts dissolving. Awww, the Hound got beaten to killing something. Poor Puppy!
Still, there's a note on the ground. It's accompanied by /drawings/.
"You aren't a local resident." SUSPICIOUS BUNNY FACE.
"Please identify yourself and leave." Stern Bunny Face.
"Or face the wrath of Chappy-Chappy." MENACING BUNNY FACE!
Lancer comes to a halt, frowning again at the remains of the spiritual monster. Or, at least, whatever might be left of it. That was a messy death... and it was recent, too. The body's already fading away into the ether. Hey, that kind of tickles.
Then, he catches sight of the note on the ground, scrawled in the same manner as the sign that had been at the crossroads. Stooping and picking it up, Lancer straightens it out, eyes skimming the writing on the paper. Another frown. Great. Some brownie or nixie or something is messing with him.
"Aw, fer chrissakes..." Lancer sighs, crumples the note, and tosses it over his shoulder. He strides a little further into the square, slinging the spear back down over his shoulder. "Is this all you got? Come /on/, man. Here I was thinkin' this was the real deal. You gonna come out and fight me, or what? I heard there's some sort of Hollow things here. You one of those? C'mon, come on out and lemme show you how bad a Servant can feck you up. I ain't got all day."
ANnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, that's when CHAPPYGAMI makes his entrance! Chappygami, defender of Chappy-Chappyness, and who is TOTALLY NOT ISSHIN KUROSAKI. Seriously. Regardless, it's a fairly tall sort, muscled, wearing the black robes of a Shinigami with a sheathed zanpaktou on the hip. Annnd...the shinigami announces itself...by attempting to kick Lancer in the back of the head, afore flipping backwards, holding up some signs.
'You are very crude. You make Eleventh Squad sound refined. Well, except for that one guy.' Flip. 'Why are you wandering around Karakura?'
...Great plan, 'Chappygami'. Kick in the head first, ask questions later!
You miss Lancer with your CHAPPY BOOT TO DA HEAD attack.
Stopping again, the Servant takes a moment to take in his surroundings, eyes raking over the details in a quick, thorouogh once-over. If there does happen to be some kind of fight, here, it's better for him to know if there's anything in his environment he can use. Fortunately, there's some rubble that might serve as something to balance on. Except... something's not right. Something's behind him.
"What the hell?!" Lancer manages to dive out of the way just in the nick of time, falling into a tuck-and-roll that brings him back to his feet. Snarling, he's all bristling spear and furious red eyes, glaring at his sudden opponent. "What the hell's wrong with you!? And what the hell's up with those signs? I can't feckin' read that handwriting. And what th' hell is a 'Chappy-Chappy?'"
He doesn't attack. Not just yet, anyway. Answers first, smackdown later!
...We didn't mention the fact that the figure is wearing a giant bunny mask, did we? Because he is. It's got ears. And smiles. And that's about it. Bunny mask. Fearsome, ain't it? Regardless, Chappygami pauses, and then starts scribbling on the sign, hmmming as he writes.
'Well, the CHappy-Chappy is a small, cute animal mascot that is very popular with certain segments of society. It is often used to market such things as candy, acessories, baggage, weapons, and the like. It also is the natural embodiment of what a plus,' Picture of a smiling bunny. 'is.'
Scribblescribblescribble. 'Also, your inability to read my handwriting means that you should read more.'
The spear comes up again as Lancer slings it over his shoulders, glaring irritably at the masked shinigami. Sometimes, there just aren't any words. All he can really answer this entire ordeal with is a silent, slightly disbelieving stare. This has transcended annoyance, and gone into the territory of Just Plain Weird.
Of course, through this all, Lancer still hasn't answered why he's in Karakura Town.
"What? Okay, look. First, I can read just fine. It's you that has the problem. Even Saber's got to have better handwriting than that, and knowing her, she'd be trying to do it around those stupid mitt gauntlets." He flexes a hand by way of demonstration; and he isn't wearing any sort of gloves. "Second, I don't know what the hell you're trying to pull. Third, you're wasting my time. Either clear out and leave me alone, or get serious and tell me what the hell it is you want."
...Grumble.
Trust his luck to make him run into all the weirdos.
HMMMMM! Chappygami can tolerate many insults...BUT NOT TO HIS PRECIOUS SIGNS! There's a quiet 'clink'...and then a shockwave of energy roaring along the ground, razor thin. Chappygami smirks...well, behind the smirking chappy mask, anyways, as he finishes sheathing his zanpaktou, holding up a sign again.
'Don't Diss The Sign, Punkass.'
In logical world, there would be a recourse before fighting breaks out. In crazy world, it's more or less because the Chappygami is bored and curious. Oh dear.
You hit Lancer with your Chappy Roaring Sword Slash Thingy attack.
Oh, is that how it's gonna be?
Lancer's face twists into a manic-looking grin, all teeth and red eyes, at the sight of that shockwave coming for him. He's fleet of foot, inhumanly so, and he manages to avoid the brunt of it -- but he's clipped on the leg as he evades; a stinging blow that elicits a snarl from the Servant.
"Tcheh. You're picking the wrong battle, man." Grin. The spear is spun around once or twice, expertly handled, and then couched at an angle to point at the Chappygami's face. "You wanna get hurt? Okay, fine. I can deal with that. This isn't the Hub... bring it on."
And with that, he lunges forward, the point of his spear cutting a path straight for the masked shinigami.
Lancer gets a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with his Stabbums! attack.
You take 14 damage.
CLANGKERSTAB. That's the noise that's made when a sheathed zanpaktou slaps up, parrying the spear aside from the whole 'I STAB YOU IN FACE' thing...and then manages to gouge along a shoulder. Siiiiiigh. Still. The odd thing is that the Chappy-masked one is holding onto the spear by the haft, the chappy-mask actually turning all frowny and ]:E and whatnot, as he calmly attempts to do what naturally comes when one is holding onto a spear held by someone with a maniac grin.
That is to say, Chappygami attempts to use it to pick the Hound of Whatever up, and then slam him into the ground, head first. Heh. That chappygami. Stronger than he looks!
You miss Lancer with your Chappy Judo Spear Throw attack.
There's really not much more point in talking. He has his battle, and that's what Lancer wanted. Ever the fight-monger, the Servant has been wasting away in an existence of boredom and atrophying battle skills in the Hub. But this isn't the Hub, and it's good to be in a fight again. Of the seven Servants, Lancer is one of those few that were only in the Grail War for the sake of a good fight.
The weapons meet with a terrific clash and a brief spate of sparks, before the spear jostles its way past, carving a shallow line along the shiningami's exposed shoulder. Lancer snarls as his spear is seized, tightening his grip on the haft and attempting to wrench it away from Isshin.
Don't touch the spear, yo.
Rather than try another thrust, this time Lancer tries to come from another direction, lunging sideways and attempting to slam the butt of the spear right into that adorable little Chappy mask.
Lancer critically strikes Isshin Kurosaki with his Rearranging Your Face, Yo attack.
You take 23 damage.
The Adorable Chappy mask is now ;_;
THE PAIN! WHY THE PAIN!? Ow ow ow ow ow ow. Chappygami goes flying, landing on the ground in a skid afore flipping back to his face. The shinigami hmmms, shaking his head, and then just lets out a sigh. Puff. How annoying!
...Even if it IS fun to be back in the fight again. Sigh. Chappygami's been getting rusty. Ah well! That zanpaktou at the side is slid halfway out, afore the chappygami lunges forwards, going for a vertical slice...
And that's a feint. The /REAL/ attack comes from behind, where, with the aid of that nifty quickstep thing Shinigami do, Chappygami has appeared, with a large mallet. And attempts to bonk Lancer, so that the Wild Dog of Ireland can be properly attended to.
You stun Lancer with your Chappy Mallet action.
Tcheh. It's really disgusting that this ridiculous, bunny-masked thing would go down so easily. The Servant can only stand and shake his head, scowling at the ease in which he's dispatched his opponent... or so he thinks.
He straightens, bringing up his spear and striding slowly but purposefully towards the shinigami, even as the other straightens and returns fire. Without even breaking stride, Lancer raises his spear to block the sword--
--and suddenly finds that the world has exploded into an assortment of very colourful, pretty stars. He slumps immediately, hands braced on his knees, making some attempt to blink his vision back into focus. Pretty, pretty colours.
GAME: Save complete.
HMMMM! There's a sign placed in front of Lancer. It says...
'I told you not to mess with the Chappy-Chappy.'
Annnnd, that's when Chappygami hmmms, shrugging at the mallet, and chucks it away...afore charging forwards. There's a series of afterimages, seein' as how the Chappygami is moving fast enough to seem to be in one or two places at once, making with the slicing, afore the final part of the amazingly powerful Chappy Chappy Combo is delivered. Namely, the CHappygami pops up behind Lancer and kicks him into the wall. Face first. Not against the wall.
Into it.
You critically strike Lancer with your Chappy-Chappy Power Combo attack.
Lancer is no longer stunned.
Lancer has enough time to issue a series of bleary blinking, a confused squint, and then BAM, he's being ploughed face-first through a half-collapsed brick wall. Now that wall's collapsed the rest of the way, with the Hound of Culann sprawled gracelessly across a pile of brick dust and rubble.
It takes several more seconds for him to regain his wits, before he surges to his feet, snarling, though that grimace is more a grin. Oh, this is going to be good and satisfying when he wastes this one. Not many fighters can actually land a blow on him, let alone put him through a wall.
"Okay, that's it. No more playin' around!" Lancer spits out a gobbet of blood, grinning a red grin, and charges full-tilt for the masked shinigami. Naturally, that blood-red spear leads the charge; the bladed head glinting coldly in the light.
Lancer gets a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with his No More Mister Nice Servant attack.
You take 21 damage.
Hmmmmmm. And it's embedded in his shoulder, too. The chappygami lets out a 'tsk', and casually yanks the spearblade out, frowning slightly as he eyes it, and then acts as if he's going to judo-chuck the Pup again. Hmmph. Chappygami IS rusty. Pity. Still, he's not that rusty.
...well, hopefully.
He knocks the sword aside, then countercharges the spearman, not even bothering to unsheathe the sword as he does something weird...
First, he uses it to try and crack Lancer in the foot...and then he goes for the SUPLEX MAGNIFICO.
Well, he is wearing a mask, after all. MEXICAN WRESTLING, CHAPPYGAMI STYLE.
You get a glancing blow on Lancer with your Chappy Suplex MAGNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFICO attack.
Lancer narrows his eyes as his weapon is so casually batted away. Rather than make a stand unarmed, he dances sideways, before a backflip lands him beside his fallen weapon. He picks up the spear carefully, dusting himself off a bit. He's misjudging the fact that his acrobatics put a little distance between them, but...
The Hound of Culann looks up long enough to see a scabbarded sword flying at him. What's interesting is not the fact that the thing is coming towards him at high velocity. No, what's interesting is the fact that it's headed straight for his foot.
There's a howl as he drops his spear with a clatter and dances, hopping and snarling curses as he holds his foot. Okay, yeah. That might not have done any serious damage, but wow, does that hurt. And suddenly, he's scooped off of /terra firma/, and uncerimoniously hoisted halfway into the air. Snarling and writhing like something gone mad the whole time, Lancer's agility doesn't save him this time. He's slammed into the ground, head-first, though thankfully it's through another bit of acrobatics that he mitigates some of that 'snap neck like twig' possibility at his landing.
Not that that would kill him, mind you.
He lands heavily, rolling sideways and immediately getting to his feet, putting distance between them as soon as he can. Ah, but you can't keep a good dog down! Lancer shakes off his momentary pain and irritation, making a grab for his spear. Curiously, he never touches it. The spear vanishes from its position on the ground, materialising again in his hand. Once again there's that feral, manic grin.
And, once again, he charges -- but this time, he doesn't make a straight dash. He leaps the rubble, using it all to balance on, instead skirting around the shinigami and coming at him from what he hopes is behind. He uses flips, zig-zagging, and other evasive manoeuvres as he goes, hopefully in the interest of keeping himself from being struck down in the process.
Lancer hits Isshin Kurosaki with his Yay for Acrobatics! attack.
You take 23 damage.
You gotta say this for shinigami...well, some of 'em.
DAMN, they don't know when to quit. Chappygami grunts, guarding a few of the strikes, finding others tearing into him, afore the mask's eyes narrow, going all ]:D, and then Chappygami strikes! He slams a foot forwards, fulling drawing his zanpaktou's blade for the first time this fight (Well, first time he keeps it out, anyways) and lunges forwards, ripping it forwards. Nothing fancy.
Just pure speed, aiming to slam the blade into Lancer.
You get a glancing blow on Lancer with your Chappy-Chappy Stabby-Stabby attack.
[OOC] Chappygami says, "Chuuuu! [3"
The spear clatters against the blade, mana-forged steel of the haft spitting sparks as the zanpaktou grinds against the raised scrollwork and carving. Lancer grits his teeth, shoving against the blade, but the shinigami has better footing and more strength behind the blow.
Gae Bolg gives with a spectacular shower of sparks as Lancer wrenches sideways, intending to dodge off to one side, but he hadn't accounted for his opponent's speed. The Servant is the faster of the two, but the other one is quick, and the Servant underestimated him.
The blade draws a deep line of crimson along the blue armour on Lancer's right forearm, and several lesser cuts along its jagged path. He snarls, white-hot pain searing along the wound. His arm sags, though he takes up the spear with his left, dancing backward and aiming to put more distance between the two. He then cocks his arm back, grinning an annoyed little grin, and lets the red spear fly.
With some luck, it'll go unneringly for his opponent's heart... if shinigami have those, anyway. If not, it's a good solid chuck straight for that stupid long-eared varmint mask.
Lancer hits Isshin Kurosaki with his Let 'Er Rip attack.
You take 25 damage.
Huh. Ow. Chappygami frowns as he glances down at the spear now planted in his chest. And then wrenches it out. Hmmph. Bloody. The annoyed shinigami frowns fiercely at Lancer, and then charges again, zanpaktou singing out as the shinigami launches into a simple, brutal attack on Lancer. Hopefully, he'll be slow enough to get caught. Or he'll be unable to block. Whatever. Chappygami isn't optimistic.
Stupid Magical Weapons.
Grumbling aside, the Chappygami is trying for a nasty, simple combo, striking high then low in a rapid flurry of blows. Sure, not fancy. Hard to block, considering the blade darts for the midsection now and then!
You hit Lancer with your Chappy-Chappy Slashy Combo attack.
The spear is flung aside, but Lancer is still light on his feet, waiting for the weapon to leave the other's hand. Once it's touched the ground, he immediately snaps his hand out sideways, calling it -- there's a flourish of red light, and the spear once again appears in its master's hand.
Even the overwhelming power of the Gae Bolg isn't enough to block the attacks, though. Lancer staggers under the onslaught, grunting as the blade flashes high and low, carving him up a bit more than he might like. Red lines criss-cross that blue armour, which seems to be some kind of form-fitting... allow? It's difficult to tell what exactly the material is. Several stray blows manage to land against the pauldrons, colliding with curt screeches of metal on metal.
He finally lunges straight for the shinigami, falling forward into a tuck-and-roll, dodging out of the sword's path. While slow to stagger to his feet, Lancer gives a huff of breath, lowering the spear in a defensive stance.
"You're not bad." Perhaps the shinigami ought to consider it a compliment, however derisive the tone. "But you're just getting on my nerves, now."
Backing up again, Lancer turns as though to flee, but instead his steps take him up the side of a half-ruined wall. He crouches, still holding his spear as though to cast it. But he merely watches, those red eyes fixed on the shinigami and narrowed as he considers his options. Isshin is fast. Very fast. But the Servant has more agility on his side; that much he can surmise from having seen the other one fight. Perhaps he can win this after all.
"Hmph." With that, he stands, skittering sideways along the wall and leaping high into the air--
--only to come down with the point of Gae Bolg whistling through the air as he plummets, seeking to drive the spear straight down through the shinigami's torso. Or head. Whatever he ends up hitting, really.
Lancer gets a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with his Dive Bomb attack.
You take 17 damage.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "...Super Duel? :D"
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "We haven't caused enough property damage, after all."
[OOC] Lancer XD
[OOC] Lancer says, "Sure. ]:D"
[OOC] Lancer says, "Though I've only got like... 24hp left."
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki is down to 37.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki predicts dual whiff.
[OOC] Lancer DIES.
Hmmph! The Chappygami lunges aside, but that lance does manage to tear a line down the back of the Chappymask, revealin' black hair underneath. Amazing. A black-haired man in Japan. Bet THAT'll narrow it down. Anyways. There's another strike to the Chappygami's shoulder, and he grunts, flash-stepping backwards so that he's at the other end of the empty lot, hmmphing. And then holding up a sign.
'Entertaining.'
Annnnnnd, then there's a /definite/ surge of spiritual energy that wasn't clinging around before. It's not doing anything too fancy. I mean, the ground isn't cracking or anything, although the ragged white cape tied to one arm is flapping. But...well...it's a tangible pressure and all that. And then the Chappygami lunges forwards towards Lancer, sword held low for the strike...and there's a large wave of pavement and wall being sliced through several feet away, from the sheer pressure building, and that's released in a single strike.
Which, coincidentally, also demolishes one half of the lot with a loud KA-KRAK!
You miss Lancer with your Reiatsu Strike super.
Lancer narrows his eyes at the sudden surge of energy, though he isn't stupid enough to stand there and stare outright. No, he's more interested in observing it. Most of the time, a surge like that is a dead giveaway to Something Big. In the case of Servants, it usually heralds a Noble Phantasm... even if it's only a split-second signal.
That's enough time for him.
He waits just long enough that it might seem he would be struck by the energy, but it shears through the wall instead. The energy rends air and stone alike with a sharp /crack/, but the legendary spearman is nowhere to be seen. The chunks of wall and debris throw up a mighty cloud of dust, which makes seeing anything impossible until it dissipates.
Instead, he's standing atop the rubble once the dust clears. He's since called his spear to hand, leaning lazily on the elegant scrollwork of Gae Bolg's haft. He looks very bored. "Look. Didn't I tell you that you were just wasting my time? Now get out of my way. I'm no threat to you or you rpeople, and I'd rather be going off to do something more interesting, like seeing what Karakura's got in the way of bars."
With that, he unfolds himself from his casual slouch, leaping lightly down from his perch. He strides slowly towards the shinigami once more, casual, motions fluid and easy like some kind of predator -- a dog in countenance he may be, but a feline in grace of motion. The spear comes forward, and as he brings it up, his gait lengthens; quickening until he's kicking up debris in a dash for the shinigami.
The red-gold spearhead is brought up to lead the charge, glinting wickedly in the light as Lancer puts his weight into a full-on charge. Should the blow connect, it's going to have the Hound of Culann's entire weight and momentum behind it.
Lancer misses Isshin Kurosaki with his Gae Bolg - The Spear of Impaling Barbed Death super.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "Dual Whiff."
[OOC] Lancer *whiff*
KA-KLANG!
The Chappygami isn't playing around anymore. It just turns slightly, and, of all the arrogant over the topness....The Gae Bolg is grabbed by the haft, an inch before it pierces the shinigami. The masked bunnyman is just grinning wildly now, and a finger is held up, waggling at Lancer, afore Gae Bolg is yanked forwards, the blade going past the Chappygami as that zanpaktou, sheathed sometime during the dust-cloud, is slammed forwards...except in reverse. The Chappygami is bringing the hilt around so the pommel is held in a hand, and then slamming it towards Lancer's throat. Sneaky.
You critically strike Lancer with your Throatpunch attack.
Lancer has been knocked out!
Lancer shifts his grip on the spear as he makes his last leap, aiming to shove the spearhead through the centre of Isshin's torso. It would have been a good, clean death for the shinigami; and a clean victory, had the blow connected. The spear would have been halfway through before Lancer ever had a chance to stop.
Unfortunately, nothing is ever that easy, and good fortune never seems to smile on him. Lancer has enough time for an expression of angry startlement when his flight is halted, and the haft seized. Unfortunately, he doesn't have enough time to dodge the blow -- the zanpaktou is brought out and slammed into his throat with an ugly crunching sound.
Needless to say, the Hound crumples like so much dead weight. Coughing up blood, he manages to climb to a kneel, spitting out several gobs of something dark. Blood, if Servants can really be said to have any. Those red eyes turn on the shinigami, suddenly baleful, and there's a ripple of energy from the Servant -- and just as suddenly, he's gone.
At least, he can't be seen -- his presence is still there.
"So you--" A pause, and a wet cough. "So you got a few good hits in, this time. Good for you. You're not completely useless. But I'm not your enemy. You should be focusing on those Hollows I keep hearing about." Another wet cough, and a low growl. "Next time I'm gonna feckin' /waste/ you."
[OOC] Archer reads...and falls to the ground laughing at Lancer. Howls.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "Keep in mind, Lancer got beaten up by a middle-aged man, wearing robes and a /bunny mask/."
[OOC] Lancer says, "DIE IN A FIRE, ARCHER"
[OOC] Archer slams the floor with a fist.
[OOC] Lancer says, "/IN A FIRE/, YO"
[OOC] Archer says, "A BUNNY--"
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "CHAPPY-CHAPPY STABBY-STABBY!"
[OOC] Archer can't finish because he's too busy wheezing from laughing.
[OOC] Archer says, "Hound of Culann gets his ass whopped by a rabbit."
[OOC] Assassin reads. DIES.
[OOC] Archer says, "Assassin. We should shun him."
[OOC] Assassin says, "Ah yes. Lancer's E luck at work."
[OOC] Lancer says, "THE CODE HATES ME OKAY ]:|"
[OOC] Archer says, "...No wait. I know why this happened. You JUST WANT TO GET DRUNK."
[OOC] Lancer sidles Isshin. "Don't pay any attention to them. I'm the cool one." ]:|
[OOC] Assassin looks bored.
[OOC] Archer says, "Cool? Pffft."
HMMMMMMMMMMMM! This calls for closing taunts! Obviously, there is only one thing to do.
The Chappygami pulls out a notepad, scribbling wildly and holding it up in the Hound of Whatever's general direction. It is a simple picture.
It is a giant bunnyface. Pulling a Rasberry.
NAHNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
And, with that, the Chappygami happily...starts doing a little jig in Lancer's vague general direction. While waving the picture, which has been flipped to a new picture. That of a picture of Lancer (Very badly done) with a moustache on it. Just because.
CHAPPY-CHAPPYGAMI VICTORY JIG, YO!
WHERE: Karakura, some vacant lot
WHEN: September 16th, 2006
WHAT: Lancer is lured into a NEFARIOUS TRAP and comes face to face with a most formidable foe!
WATCH FOR: Chappy-Chappy Stabby Stabby!
It's an overcast day in Karakura Town, with clouds thick and leaden in an iron-grey sky. No shadows lie on the ground, with such dim light; and the scent of rain lies heavy in the air. A light breeze skirls through the town every so often, rattling tree branches and rustling clothing, as though to remind the sleepy town that in time, winter is coming.
Of course, not everybody really gives a hoot about the weather.
The Hound of Culann couldn't pick a better time to go strolling along the avenue, clad in his usual blue armour, with a blood-red spear slung casually over one pauldroned shoulder. No one seems to pay any mind to the weapon, though, fierce as it looks. In fact, no one seems to pay any mind to him, or the fact that he's walking straight through everyone and most things in his way. Spirit form has its advantages, and that includes walking right through what would otherwise be a very annoying crowd to have to negotiate.
True, Karakura Town is a little boring in its own way. Modern technology doesn't elicit much reaction from the Servant -- it doesn't interest him, he isn't afraid of it, and in fact he tends to ignore it most of the time, with the exception of the radio that Ling gave him... which he also kind of ignores, in all honesty. The people here are frustratingly set on their own business, and it's too much of an open area to really bother messing with them and startling passers-by. He can't even get drunk.
But, he had wanted to check up on Orihime after the fashion show and see that she's doing alright. He did swear her into his protection, after all -- and while he might not be the exemplary show of loyalty and honour that an Arthurian knight would be, he still does have his own brand of honour; and adheres to it fiercely.
HMMMMM! But there is another fact that makes today an interesting day! That is the fact that there is, dangling in midair, right at headheight to the wandering spirit...a sign. With a big arrow pointed on it. It's pointing towards a vacant, outta the way lot. Odd, neh? I mean, why would there be a sign, apparently drawn on paper, hanging around just for the eye of a wandering foreign spirit, hmmm?
...And, come to think it, why's there a strong pulse of spiritual energy coming from the same area. As well as a bit of a distant roaring noise?
It certainly isn't part of an ancient Amazing Perfect Hollow Catching Technique Handed Down From The Ancestors, nosiree. Nor is it a trap! NOT A TRAP. Really.
There is even a smaller sign, attached by a hook, that says, "Not A Trap."
Hollows aren't that bright.
Those armoured boots scuff to a halt as the Servant catches sight of something a little bit incongruous. That hand-scrawled message is more than a little untrustworthy. Nobody seems to be paying any attention to it, and that second sign is just the sort of thing to make any decently smart person smack their forehead in exasperation. Never mind that enticing pulse of spiritual energy coming from just around the corner, as it were. And so, in his immutable wisdom, the Hound of Culann can do only one thing.
He frowns, shoulders his spear a little more firmly, and whirls to march in the direction of that sign and lot.
"Hey! Stupid!" His shout is a challenge, and he comes with all the confidence of somebody absolutely certain of their skills and power. "Come out from wherever you're hiding, and face me like a real warrior! Or are you scared? Huh? C'mon out of there, wherever you're hiding, and let me kick your arse proper-like!"
Never you mind that manic grin on his face. Oh, this is going to be fun.
...Well, there IS a giant beast of some sort. Very large one. IT's got claws and the teething and the biting and...it's missing a head. And slumping over, leaking ichor for a moment, afore it slowly starts dissolving. Awww, the Hound got beaten to killing something. Poor Puppy!
Still, there's a note on the ground. It's accompanied by /drawings/.
"You aren't a local resident." SUSPICIOUS BUNNY FACE.
"Please identify yourself and leave." Stern Bunny Face.
"Or face the wrath of Chappy-Chappy." MENACING BUNNY FACE!
Lancer comes to a halt, frowning again at the remains of the spiritual monster. Or, at least, whatever might be left of it. That was a messy death... and it was recent, too. The body's already fading away into the ether. Hey, that kind of tickles.
Then, he catches sight of the note on the ground, scrawled in the same manner as the sign that had been at the crossroads. Stooping and picking it up, Lancer straightens it out, eyes skimming the writing on the paper. Another frown. Great. Some brownie or nixie or something is messing with him.
"Aw, fer chrissakes..." Lancer sighs, crumples the note, and tosses it over his shoulder. He strides a little further into the square, slinging the spear back down over his shoulder. "Is this all you got? Come /on/, man. Here I was thinkin' this was the real deal. You gonna come out and fight me, or what? I heard there's some sort of Hollow things here. You one of those? C'mon, come on out and lemme show you how bad a Servant can feck you up. I ain't got all day."
ANnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, that's when CHAPPYGAMI makes his entrance! Chappygami, defender of Chappy-Chappyness, and who is TOTALLY NOT ISSHIN KUROSAKI. Seriously. Regardless, it's a fairly tall sort, muscled, wearing the black robes of a Shinigami with a sheathed zanpaktou on the hip. Annnd...the shinigami announces itself...by attempting to kick Lancer in the back of the head, afore flipping backwards, holding up some signs.
'You are very crude. You make Eleventh Squad sound refined. Well, except for that one guy.' Flip. 'Why are you wandering around Karakura?'
...Great plan, 'Chappygami'. Kick in the head first, ask questions later!
You miss Lancer with your CHAPPY BOOT TO DA HEAD attack.
Stopping again, the Servant takes a moment to take in his surroundings, eyes raking over the details in a quick, thorouogh once-over. If there does happen to be some kind of fight, here, it's better for him to know if there's anything in his environment he can use. Fortunately, there's some rubble that might serve as something to balance on. Except... something's not right. Something's behind him.
"What the hell?!" Lancer manages to dive out of the way just in the nick of time, falling into a tuck-and-roll that brings him back to his feet. Snarling, he's all bristling spear and furious red eyes, glaring at his sudden opponent. "What the hell's wrong with you!? And what the hell's up with those signs? I can't feckin' read that handwriting. And what th' hell is a 'Chappy-Chappy?'"
He doesn't attack. Not just yet, anyway. Answers first, smackdown later!
...We didn't mention the fact that the figure is wearing a giant bunny mask, did we? Because he is. It's got ears. And smiles. And that's about it. Bunny mask. Fearsome, ain't it? Regardless, Chappygami pauses, and then starts scribbling on the sign, hmmming as he writes.
'Well, the CHappy-Chappy is a small, cute animal mascot that is very popular with certain segments of society. It is often used to market such things as candy, acessories, baggage, weapons, and the like. It also is the natural embodiment of what a plus,' Picture of a smiling bunny. 'is.'
Scribblescribblescribble. 'Also, your inability to read my handwriting means that you should read more.'
The spear comes up again as Lancer slings it over his shoulders, glaring irritably at the masked shinigami. Sometimes, there just aren't any words. All he can really answer this entire ordeal with is a silent, slightly disbelieving stare. This has transcended annoyance, and gone into the territory of Just Plain Weird.
Of course, through this all, Lancer still hasn't answered why he's in Karakura Town.
"What? Okay, look. First, I can read just fine. It's you that has the problem. Even Saber's got to have better handwriting than that, and knowing her, she'd be trying to do it around those stupid mitt gauntlets." He flexes a hand by way of demonstration; and he isn't wearing any sort of gloves. "Second, I don't know what the hell you're trying to pull. Third, you're wasting my time. Either clear out and leave me alone, or get serious and tell me what the hell it is you want."
...Grumble.
Trust his luck to make him run into all the weirdos.
HMMMMM! Chappygami can tolerate many insults...BUT NOT TO HIS PRECIOUS SIGNS! There's a quiet 'clink'...and then a shockwave of energy roaring along the ground, razor thin. Chappygami smirks...well, behind the smirking chappy mask, anyways, as he finishes sheathing his zanpaktou, holding up a sign again.
'Don't Diss The Sign, Punkass.'
In logical world, there would be a recourse before fighting breaks out. In crazy world, it's more or less because the Chappygami is bored and curious. Oh dear.
You hit Lancer with your Chappy Roaring Sword Slash Thingy attack.
Oh, is that how it's gonna be?
Lancer's face twists into a manic-looking grin, all teeth and red eyes, at the sight of that shockwave coming for him. He's fleet of foot, inhumanly so, and he manages to avoid the brunt of it -- but he's clipped on the leg as he evades; a stinging blow that elicits a snarl from the Servant.
"Tcheh. You're picking the wrong battle, man." Grin. The spear is spun around once or twice, expertly handled, and then couched at an angle to point at the Chappygami's face. "You wanna get hurt? Okay, fine. I can deal with that. This isn't the Hub... bring it on."
And with that, he lunges forward, the point of his spear cutting a path straight for the masked shinigami.
Lancer gets a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with his Stabbums! attack.
You take 14 damage.
CLANGKERSTAB. That's the noise that's made when a sheathed zanpaktou slaps up, parrying the spear aside from the whole 'I STAB YOU IN FACE' thing...and then manages to gouge along a shoulder. Siiiiiigh. Still. The odd thing is that the Chappy-masked one is holding onto the spear by the haft, the chappy-mask actually turning all frowny and ]:E and whatnot, as he calmly attempts to do what naturally comes when one is holding onto a spear held by someone with a maniac grin.
That is to say, Chappygami attempts to use it to pick the Hound of Whatever up, and then slam him into the ground, head first. Heh. That chappygami. Stronger than he looks!
You miss Lancer with your Chappy Judo Spear Throw attack.
There's really not much more point in talking. He has his battle, and that's what Lancer wanted. Ever the fight-monger, the Servant has been wasting away in an existence of boredom and atrophying battle skills in the Hub. But this isn't the Hub, and it's good to be in a fight again. Of the seven Servants, Lancer is one of those few that were only in the Grail War for the sake of a good fight.
The weapons meet with a terrific clash and a brief spate of sparks, before the spear jostles its way past, carving a shallow line along the shiningami's exposed shoulder. Lancer snarls as his spear is seized, tightening his grip on the haft and attempting to wrench it away from Isshin.
Don't touch the spear, yo.
Rather than try another thrust, this time Lancer tries to come from another direction, lunging sideways and attempting to slam the butt of the spear right into that adorable little Chappy mask.
Lancer critically strikes Isshin Kurosaki with his Rearranging Your Face, Yo attack.
You take 23 damage.
The Adorable Chappy mask is now ;_;
THE PAIN! WHY THE PAIN!? Ow ow ow ow ow ow. Chappygami goes flying, landing on the ground in a skid afore flipping back to his face. The shinigami hmmms, shaking his head, and then just lets out a sigh. Puff. How annoying!
...Even if it IS fun to be back in the fight again. Sigh. Chappygami's been getting rusty. Ah well! That zanpaktou at the side is slid halfway out, afore the chappygami lunges forwards, going for a vertical slice...
And that's a feint. The /REAL/ attack comes from behind, where, with the aid of that nifty quickstep thing Shinigami do, Chappygami has appeared, with a large mallet. And attempts to bonk Lancer, so that the Wild Dog of Ireland can be properly attended to.
You stun Lancer with your Chappy Mallet action.
Tcheh. It's really disgusting that this ridiculous, bunny-masked thing would go down so easily. The Servant can only stand and shake his head, scowling at the ease in which he's dispatched his opponent... or so he thinks.
He straightens, bringing up his spear and striding slowly but purposefully towards the shinigami, even as the other straightens and returns fire. Without even breaking stride, Lancer raises his spear to block the sword--
--and suddenly finds that the world has exploded into an assortment of very colourful, pretty stars. He slumps immediately, hands braced on his knees, making some attempt to blink his vision back into focus. Pretty, pretty colours.
GAME: Save complete.
HMMMM! There's a sign placed in front of Lancer. It says...
'I told you not to mess with the Chappy-Chappy.'
Annnnd, that's when Chappygami hmmms, shrugging at the mallet, and chucks it away...afore charging forwards. There's a series of afterimages, seein' as how the Chappygami is moving fast enough to seem to be in one or two places at once, making with the slicing, afore the final part of the amazingly powerful Chappy Chappy Combo is delivered. Namely, the CHappygami pops up behind Lancer and kicks him into the wall. Face first. Not against the wall.
Into it.
You critically strike Lancer with your Chappy-Chappy Power Combo attack.
Lancer is no longer stunned.
Lancer has enough time to issue a series of bleary blinking, a confused squint, and then BAM, he's being ploughed face-first through a half-collapsed brick wall. Now that wall's collapsed the rest of the way, with the Hound of Culann sprawled gracelessly across a pile of brick dust and rubble.
It takes several more seconds for him to regain his wits, before he surges to his feet, snarling, though that grimace is more a grin. Oh, this is going to be good and satisfying when he wastes this one. Not many fighters can actually land a blow on him, let alone put him through a wall.
"Okay, that's it. No more playin' around!" Lancer spits out a gobbet of blood, grinning a red grin, and charges full-tilt for the masked shinigami. Naturally, that blood-red spear leads the charge; the bladed head glinting coldly in the light.
Lancer gets a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with his No More Mister Nice Servant attack.
You take 21 damage.
Hmmmmmm. And it's embedded in his shoulder, too. The chappygami lets out a 'tsk', and casually yanks the spearblade out, frowning slightly as he eyes it, and then acts as if he's going to judo-chuck the Pup again. Hmmph. Chappygami IS rusty. Pity. Still, he's not that rusty.
...well, hopefully.
He knocks the sword aside, then countercharges the spearman, not even bothering to unsheathe the sword as he does something weird...
First, he uses it to try and crack Lancer in the foot...and then he goes for the SUPLEX MAGNIFICO.
Well, he is wearing a mask, after all. MEXICAN WRESTLING, CHAPPYGAMI STYLE.
You get a glancing blow on Lancer with your Chappy Suplex MAGNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFICO attack.
Lancer narrows his eyes as his weapon is so casually batted away. Rather than make a stand unarmed, he dances sideways, before a backflip lands him beside his fallen weapon. He picks up the spear carefully, dusting himself off a bit. He's misjudging the fact that his acrobatics put a little distance between them, but...
The Hound of Culann looks up long enough to see a scabbarded sword flying at him. What's interesting is not the fact that the thing is coming towards him at high velocity. No, what's interesting is the fact that it's headed straight for his foot.
There's a howl as he drops his spear with a clatter and dances, hopping and snarling curses as he holds his foot. Okay, yeah. That might not have done any serious damage, but wow, does that hurt. And suddenly, he's scooped off of /terra firma/, and uncerimoniously hoisted halfway into the air. Snarling and writhing like something gone mad the whole time, Lancer's agility doesn't save him this time. He's slammed into the ground, head-first, though thankfully it's through another bit of acrobatics that he mitigates some of that 'snap neck like twig' possibility at his landing.
Not that that would kill him, mind you.
He lands heavily, rolling sideways and immediately getting to his feet, putting distance between them as soon as he can. Ah, but you can't keep a good dog down! Lancer shakes off his momentary pain and irritation, making a grab for his spear. Curiously, he never touches it. The spear vanishes from its position on the ground, materialising again in his hand. Once again there's that feral, manic grin.
And, once again, he charges -- but this time, he doesn't make a straight dash. He leaps the rubble, using it all to balance on, instead skirting around the shinigami and coming at him from what he hopes is behind. He uses flips, zig-zagging, and other evasive manoeuvres as he goes, hopefully in the interest of keeping himself from being struck down in the process.
Lancer hits Isshin Kurosaki with his Yay for Acrobatics! attack.
You take 23 damage.
You gotta say this for shinigami...well, some of 'em.
DAMN, they don't know when to quit. Chappygami grunts, guarding a few of the strikes, finding others tearing into him, afore the mask's eyes narrow, going all ]:D, and then Chappygami strikes! He slams a foot forwards, fulling drawing his zanpaktou's blade for the first time this fight (Well, first time he keeps it out, anyways) and lunges forwards, ripping it forwards. Nothing fancy.
Just pure speed, aiming to slam the blade into Lancer.
You get a glancing blow on Lancer with your Chappy-Chappy Stabby-Stabby attack.
[OOC] Chappygami says, "Chuuuu! [3"
The spear clatters against the blade, mana-forged steel of the haft spitting sparks as the zanpaktou grinds against the raised scrollwork and carving. Lancer grits his teeth, shoving against the blade, but the shinigami has better footing and more strength behind the blow.
Gae Bolg gives with a spectacular shower of sparks as Lancer wrenches sideways, intending to dodge off to one side, but he hadn't accounted for his opponent's speed. The Servant is the faster of the two, but the other one is quick, and the Servant underestimated him.
The blade draws a deep line of crimson along the blue armour on Lancer's right forearm, and several lesser cuts along its jagged path. He snarls, white-hot pain searing along the wound. His arm sags, though he takes up the spear with his left, dancing backward and aiming to put more distance between the two. He then cocks his arm back, grinning an annoyed little grin, and lets the red spear fly.
With some luck, it'll go unneringly for his opponent's heart... if shinigami have those, anyway. If not, it's a good solid chuck straight for that stupid long-eared varmint mask.
Lancer hits Isshin Kurosaki with his Let 'Er Rip attack.
You take 25 damage.
Huh. Ow. Chappygami frowns as he glances down at the spear now planted in his chest. And then wrenches it out. Hmmph. Bloody. The annoyed shinigami frowns fiercely at Lancer, and then charges again, zanpaktou singing out as the shinigami launches into a simple, brutal attack on Lancer. Hopefully, he'll be slow enough to get caught. Or he'll be unable to block. Whatever. Chappygami isn't optimistic.
Stupid Magical Weapons.
Grumbling aside, the Chappygami is trying for a nasty, simple combo, striking high then low in a rapid flurry of blows. Sure, not fancy. Hard to block, considering the blade darts for the midsection now and then!
You hit Lancer with your Chappy-Chappy Slashy Combo attack.
The spear is flung aside, but Lancer is still light on his feet, waiting for the weapon to leave the other's hand. Once it's touched the ground, he immediately snaps his hand out sideways, calling it -- there's a flourish of red light, and the spear once again appears in its master's hand.
Even the overwhelming power of the Gae Bolg isn't enough to block the attacks, though. Lancer staggers under the onslaught, grunting as the blade flashes high and low, carving him up a bit more than he might like. Red lines criss-cross that blue armour, which seems to be some kind of form-fitting... allow? It's difficult to tell what exactly the material is. Several stray blows manage to land against the pauldrons, colliding with curt screeches of metal on metal.
He finally lunges straight for the shinigami, falling forward into a tuck-and-roll, dodging out of the sword's path. While slow to stagger to his feet, Lancer gives a huff of breath, lowering the spear in a defensive stance.
"You're not bad." Perhaps the shinigami ought to consider it a compliment, however derisive the tone. "But you're just getting on my nerves, now."
Backing up again, Lancer turns as though to flee, but instead his steps take him up the side of a half-ruined wall. He crouches, still holding his spear as though to cast it. But he merely watches, those red eyes fixed on the shinigami and narrowed as he considers his options. Isshin is fast. Very fast. But the Servant has more agility on his side; that much he can surmise from having seen the other one fight. Perhaps he can win this after all.
"Hmph." With that, he stands, skittering sideways along the wall and leaping high into the air--
--only to come down with the point of Gae Bolg whistling through the air as he plummets, seeking to drive the spear straight down through the shinigami's torso. Or head. Whatever he ends up hitting, really.
Lancer gets a glancing blow on Isshin Kurosaki with his Dive Bomb attack.
You take 17 damage.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "...Super Duel? :D"
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "We haven't caused enough property damage, after all."
[OOC] Lancer XD
[OOC] Lancer says, "Sure. ]:D"
[OOC] Lancer says, "Though I've only got like... 24hp left."
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki is down to 37.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki predicts dual whiff.
[OOC] Lancer DIES.
Hmmph! The Chappygami lunges aside, but that lance does manage to tear a line down the back of the Chappymask, revealin' black hair underneath. Amazing. A black-haired man in Japan. Bet THAT'll narrow it down. Anyways. There's another strike to the Chappygami's shoulder, and he grunts, flash-stepping backwards so that he's at the other end of the empty lot, hmmphing. And then holding up a sign.
'Entertaining.'
Annnnnnd, then there's a /definite/ surge of spiritual energy that wasn't clinging around before. It's not doing anything too fancy. I mean, the ground isn't cracking or anything, although the ragged white cape tied to one arm is flapping. But...well...it's a tangible pressure and all that. And then the Chappygami lunges forwards towards Lancer, sword held low for the strike...and there's a large wave of pavement and wall being sliced through several feet away, from the sheer pressure building, and that's released in a single strike.
Which, coincidentally, also demolishes one half of the lot with a loud KA-KRAK!
You miss Lancer with your Reiatsu Strike super.
Lancer narrows his eyes at the sudden surge of energy, though he isn't stupid enough to stand there and stare outright. No, he's more interested in observing it. Most of the time, a surge like that is a dead giveaway to Something Big. In the case of Servants, it usually heralds a Noble Phantasm... even if it's only a split-second signal.
That's enough time for him.
He waits just long enough that it might seem he would be struck by the energy, but it shears through the wall instead. The energy rends air and stone alike with a sharp /crack/, but the legendary spearman is nowhere to be seen. The chunks of wall and debris throw up a mighty cloud of dust, which makes seeing anything impossible until it dissipates.
Instead, he's standing atop the rubble once the dust clears. He's since called his spear to hand, leaning lazily on the elegant scrollwork of Gae Bolg's haft. He looks very bored. "Look. Didn't I tell you that you were just wasting my time? Now get out of my way. I'm no threat to you or you rpeople, and I'd rather be going off to do something more interesting, like seeing what Karakura's got in the way of bars."
With that, he unfolds himself from his casual slouch, leaping lightly down from his perch. He strides slowly towards the shinigami once more, casual, motions fluid and easy like some kind of predator -- a dog in countenance he may be, but a feline in grace of motion. The spear comes forward, and as he brings it up, his gait lengthens; quickening until he's kicking up debris in a dash for the shinigami.
The red-gold spearhead is brought up to lead the charge, glinting wickedly in the light as Lancer puts his weight into a full-on charge. Should the blow connect, it's going to have the Hound of Culann's entire weight and momentum behind it.
Lancer misses Isshin Kurosaki with his Gae Bolg - The Spear of Impaling Barbed Death super.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "Dual Whiff."
[OOC] Lancer *whiff*
KA-KLANG!
The Chappygami isn't playing around anymore. It just turns slightly, and, of all the arrogant over the topness....The Gae Bolg is grabbed by the haft, an inch before it pierces the shinigami. The masked bunnyman is just grinning wildly now, and a finger is held up, waggling at Lancer, afore Gae Bolg is yanked forwards, the blade going past the Chappygami as that zanpaktou, sheathed sometime during the dust-cloud, is slammed forwards...except in reverse. The Chappygami is bringing the hilt around so the pommel is held in a hand, and then slamming it towards Lancer's throat. Sneaky.
You critically strike Lancer with your Throatpunch attack.
Lancer has been knocked out!
Lancer shifts his grip on the spear as he makes his last leap, aiming to shove the spearhead through the centre of Isshin's torso. It would have been a good, clean death for the shinigami; and a clean victory, had the blow connected. The spear would have been halfway through before Lancer ever had a chance to stop.
Unfortunately, nothing is ever that easy, and good fortune never seems to smile on him. Lancer has enough time for an expression of angry startlement when his flight is halted, and the haft seized. Unfortunately, he doesn't have enough time to dodge the blow -- the zanpaktou is brought out and slammed into his throat with an ugly crunching sound.
Needless to say, the Hound crumples like so much dead weight. Coughing up blood, he manages to climb to a kneel, spitting out several gobs of something dark. Blood, if Servants can really be said to have any. Those red eyes turn on the shinigami, suddenly baleful, and there's a ripple of energy from the Servant -- and just as suddenly, he's gone.
At least, he can't be seen -- his presence is still there.
"So you--" A pause, and a wet cough. "So you got a few good hits in, this time. Good for you. You're not completely useless. But I'm not your enemy. You should be focusing on those Hollows I keep hearing about." Another wet cough, and a low growl. "Next time I'm gonna feckin' /waste/ you."
[OOC] Archer reads...and falls to the ground laughing at Lancer. Howls.
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "Keep in mind, Lancer got beaten up by a middle-aged man, wearing robes and a /bunny mask/."
[OOC] Lancer says, "DIE IN A FIRE, ARCHER"
[OOC] Archer slams the floor with a fist.
[OOC] Lancer says, "/IN A FIRE/, YO"
[OOC] Archer says, "A BUNNY--"
[OOC] Isshin Kurosaki says, "CHAPPY-CHAPPY STABBY-STABBY!"
[OOC] Archer can't finish because he's too busy wheezing from laughing.
[OOC] Archer says, "Hound of Culann gets his ass whopped by a rabbit."
[OOC] Assassin reads. DIES.
[OOC] Archer says, "Assassin. We should shun him."
[OOC] Assassin says, "Ah yes. Lancer's E luck at work."
[OOC] Lancer says, "THE CODE HATES ME OKAY ]:|"
[OOC] Archer says, "...No wait. I know why this happened. You JUST WANT TO GET DRUNK."
[OOC] Lancer sidles Isshin. "Don't pay any attention to them. I'm the cool one." ]:|
[OOC] Assassin looks bored.
[OOC] Archer says, "Cool? Pffft."
HMMMMMMMMMMMM! This calls for closing taunts! Obviously, there is only one thing to do.
The Chappygami pulls out a notepad, scribbling wildly and holding it up in the Hound of Whatever's general direction. It is a simple picture.
It is a giant bunnyface. Pulling a Rasberry.
NAHNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
And, with that, the Chappygami happily...starts doing a little jig in Lancer's vague general direction. While waving the picture, which has been flipped to a new picture. That of a picture of Lancer (Very badly done) with a moustache on it. Just because.
CHAPPY-CHAPPYGAMI VICTORY JIG, YO!