Five Things Jack Left in Colorado
Five Things Jack Left in Colorado
by GateGremlyn
~~
Gen, Humor, Team
Written for the Pentagular Gate prompt.
~~
Sam heard the ping that meant a new e-mail in her box. She let out a slow breath wondering what the penalty was for disabling Air Force property. She thought about ignoring the message but she'd done that for the last hour, right after she'd taken the phone off the hook. The computer pinged again. Reluctantly, and with one final exasperated sigh, she opened the message:
“I know you're there, Carter,” the message said. She didn't stop to wonder how he knew, she just knew he knew. She trashed that message and worked her way back through the previous five, disposing of each of them in turn. Then she responded:
“Hello, sir. I checked your office as you commanded and found only one of the items. Sergeant Harriman will be sending you your yo-yo in an envelope marked 'Confidential.' I believe you'll find some mission reports in there as well. Walter did ask me to tell you to read the reports first, before you start playing with your yo-yo. I was unable to find the Whoopee cushion or the bottle of Crazy Glue. Now please leave me alone... Sir... and let me get some work done.” She hit the send button and left her office to explain to the maintenance department that she'd been having trouble with her phone all morning. Could they please make sure that she had trouble with her computer all afternoon?
~~
Daniel picked up the phone on the first ring. “For the last time, Jack--”
“Dr. Jackson?”
He pulled the phone away from his ear for a second to see that the number wasn't Jack's. Which was a change since Jack had been calling him about every five minutes for the last two days. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but Jack hadn't stopped bothering him since he'd boarded his flight for Washington.
“I'm sorry,” he said, shifting his papers to the other hand to get a firmer grip on the phone. “I was expecting a call from a friend--”
“General O'Neill,” the voice said.
“Um...what?”
“Would the friend be General O'Neill? He did mention to me that he'd been calling quite a bit. As a matter of fact, I believe that's why he gave the job to me.”
Daniel finally made it as far as his office and dumped his pile of papers and several books on his desk without unseating any of them. He smiled.
“Dr. Jackson?”
“Oh, sorry. Yes. I was trying to--” He stopped, realizing that the person on the other end of the phone really wasn't interested in whatever he'd been trying to do. He cleared his throat. “You were saying, about Jack giving you the job?”
“Yes,” the professional voice said. “General O'Neill asked if I would call to inquire about several things he believes he left behind.” The man ignored the muttered “again” and continued. “As I understand it, you have a key to the general's house. He'd like to get--”
“Tell Jack--” Daniel juggled the phone again, trying to tuck it under his ear while he put on a pot of coffee. “Tell Jack I already threw out all his Outdoor Sportsman magazines along with most of his Sports Illustrated. I can't find his hockey stick or his goalie pads so he must have taken them with him. Anything that he left, I threw in the back of his truck and dragged to storage. He can get them, and his truck, the next time he's in town.”
“General O'Neill tells me a sergeant is sending him a package, one Walter--”
“Harriman,” Daniel filled in. “I'll make sure his truck keys are and the key to the storage unit are in the envelope. As for the other stuff--”
“I understand completely, Doctor Jackson.” The man said his goodbyes and hung up.
As he flipped his phone closed, Daniel wondered how much it would cost him to get a new phone with an unlisted number.
~~
Teal'c opened the letter carefully. Of all the earth customs he'd learned, the sending and receiving of letters was still a favorite of his. There was something about the mystery of opening a letter that remained exciting, more than an e-mail or a telephone call. Even though he knew the letter was from O'Neill, he still enjoyed slicing open the envelope, carefully, from the bottom, so that he could save the stamp (one of Mickey Mouse with a Washington DC postmark) as Daniel Jackson had shown him. He read the letter and smiled.
“O'Neill, my brother,” he wrote back. “I am uncertain as to why you cannot find the thing you seek. Perhaps it was left at the SGC in the care of those who guard such things. I also do not believe you can 'buy' such a thing even in your capital. If you were to return, we could look for it together. I understand the weather here is fine although I have not yet checked the forecast on my television. The weather on P8X909 was quite satisfactory. I, too, wish you were here. Perhaps this is something else we can discuss when you return.”
Teal'c finished his letter, sealed it, and applied the stamp (one of Elvis which he would get back from O'Neill once it had been postmarked). He made sure to give his to give his letter to Sergeant Harriman so that it would go out with the afternoon mail.
~~
Walter wondered whether there was a special section in hell for sergeants who did what what he was doing. He didn't understand it, really. He'd been a good little sergeant most of his life, not rocking the boat all that much. Well, he had asked for his own parking spot but seeings as how he'd never gotten it, he didn't think he was in too much trouble with the people upstairs or with the People Upstairs. Then again, maybe his time at the SGC would count as his time in purgatory and he'd be able to pass it by with a “get-into-heaven-free” card. No, he thought as he mentally tallied the items in the envelope (a set of keys from Doctor Jackson, a letter from Teal'c, a yo-yo from Colonel Carter, the forms General O'Neill had requested, and the smaller envelope of mission reports marked “Please Read First” on the front), no, he was toast. Hell was undoubtedly the least of his worries.
~~
“It took you long enough to get here,” Jack said to the hastily assembled.
“I have a meeting in five minutes with my department. Why do we have to do this now?” Daniel asked.
“Nice to see you, too, Daniel,” Jack replied. “I'm gone for three weeks and you can't even say hello.”
“Hello, sir, and I'm sorry, but he's right,” Sam said. “We have a mission in less than an hour and we really--”
“I am glad to see you, O'Neill.”
O'Neill glared at both Daniel and Carter before turning his smile on Teal'c. “Thanks, buddy. It's good to know someone around here still misses me. Oh, and what you said in your letter? You were right.” He handed Teal'c a sealed envelope (with an already canceled duck stamp on it) from his pocket.
“Thank you, O'Neill.” Teal'c bowed his head.
“Jack, do you think you could hurry this up?” Daniel waved to the door. “We'd love to visit when we get back, but before I go I've got to--” He looked at his watch.
“Fine. Since you're obviously in a hurry...” Jack dumped the contents of a large official looking manila envelope on to what used to be his desk and passed its contents around. “Carter, this is for you,” he said, handing her a yo-yo.
“Ah, sir, didn't I just--”
“Yes, you did, Carter, and I'm very glad you found it. It has great sentimental value from my colonel days. Now I'm handing it over to you for safe keeping. I want you to hold on to it so that it's here when I come to visit.”
She hefted it in her hand a couple of times and grinned before slipping it in her pocket. “Yes, sir,” she said.
“You take these.”
Daniel grabbed the keys in surprise. “You're giving me your truck?”
“No, Daniel, I'm not giving you my truck. You're bringing my truck to me in Washington. Along with the stuff in the storage unit.”
“I'm bringing you your truck?” Daniel asked. “I have a mission in forty-five minutes.”
“On Friday, Daniel,” Jack said patiently. “You're bringing me the truck on Friday.”
“I can't. We have a mission on Friday to P73--”
“--827,” Sam finished.
Jack held up his hand. “No you don't.”
“We don't?” they said.
“Walter,” Jack called. “Did you--”
“Yes, sir,” Walter said, coming in to the office.
“Do you have--”
“Yes, sir.” Walter pulled a pen out of his pocket.
“One of the reasons I came back, other than my meeting with your new boss--you're going to like him, by the way and thank you so much for asking--was to finish up some paperwork I forgot before I left.” Jack put his signature on the three forms that had fallen out of the envelope and handed them to Walter with a flourish. “I think that means you don't have a mission on Friday.”
Sam cleared her throat. “Sir?”
“Your leave forms, Carter, I forgot to sign them before I left for Washington.”
Daniel looked puzzled. “I'm pretty sure I didn't fill out any leave forms. Did you, Sam? I think I would have remembered doing that.”
“I know I didn't fill out a leave form, sir.”
“Walter,” Jack gestured to the papers the sergeant was holding, “do those forms contain the signatures of Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter, and Teal'c?”
“Of course they do, sir.” Walter said neutrally.
“See? Problem solved.” Jack rubbed his hands together, gleefully. “Now I have a meeting to attend and then a plane to catch, so if you'll excuse me...” He walked out of the room with a wave leaving three very confused team members and one very deflated sergeant behind.
“Walter?”
“Yes, ma'am?”
“Can I see--” Sam crooked her finger at the forms in his hand. He handed one to her reluctantly. “These are good forgeries, Walter,” she said admiringly. “Is this your work?” She didn't wait for an answer while she passed the other two forms to Daniel and Teal'c.
“Yeah, quite good,” Daniel agreed, scanning his form and glancing at Teal'c's. “If you're looking for a new posting, Walter, I could use someone in my department with this kind of skill. I'm surprised Jack didn't ask you to forge his signature as well.”
Walter blushed. “The general said he wanted them to be 'official.'”
“Right,” Daniel said. “So how long are we on leave for?”
“The general thought ten days should do it. If you're driving out and stopping along the way, that you should take three or four days. You're staying at his new place once you get there.”
Daniel saw the glance and looked at the key chain, noticing a shiny new house key on it.
“The plane tickets back are in the envelope,” Walter continued nodding at the envelope in Teal'c's hand. “But the yo-yo is supposed to stay here.” Walter cleared his throat. “Now, if you'll excuse me ma'am, gentlemen, I have real work to do.”
Barely waiting for Sam's “Thank you, sergeant,” he left the room as Teal'c carefully opened the envelope. Inside, they found the plane tickets, as promised, wrapped in a piece of paper with a few hastily scribbled words on it.
“What's it say, Teal'c?” Daniel asked. Teal'c handed him the paper and Daniel read, “Found it right where I left it.” He looked at Teal'c who was pocketing their tickets.
“O'Neill wrote me and said no one in Washington could... I believe his words were 'find a clue'.”
Daniel jiggled the keys in his hand and smiled, while Sam flipped the yo-yo out of her hand with practiced ease. “Well,” he said, “we have official, government-issued leave that we must have requested weeks ago; we have the keys to Jack's truck; we have all the work of emptying out the storage unit I just filled up. Do we have a--”
Walter stuck his head around the door. “Phone call for you ma'am,” he said as the phone rang.
Sam stuck the yo-yo back in her pocket. “Carter,” she said picking up the phone. “Yes, sir. Will do.” She hung up the phone and picked up the envelope on the desk which was still sealed and marked “Please Read First.” Underneath that official (and ignored) directive was something written in Jack's scrawl. She showed the Washington address to Daniel and Teal'c and then apologized to Walter. “He forgot this and he wants me to take it back with us to Washington--”
“I know, ma'am, I know.” Walter shook his head and sighed. “You'd think after all these years doing this, I could at least get my own parking spot,” he muttered as he walked away.