Under the Skin 57/67
Under the Skin 57/67
Carson watched his friend drift off into sleep, relieved that at least he knew the man was going to get a good night’s sleep. Once he was sure Rodney was out, he dropped down into a nearby chair.
He let his mind drift for a minute, forgetting he wasn’t alone. He jerked when a hand touched his shoulder, reminding him of their presence.
"Ready to head back, Doc?"
"Major, I think you are trying to give me a heart attack with all the sneaking around. And actually, I think I'm going to try and get some paperwork done. I'm here, and I'd like to be close in case anything happens."
"He's out cold, right?" Sheppard asked, still standing at the foot of the bed, his eyes fixed on the sleeping scientist.
"Aye, that will keep him asleep for the next ten hours or so. I've used it on him before, and that seems to be the average time. He was exhausted, so it might be a bit longer than that. You should get some sleep, Colonel, you look like you've been hit by a truck."
"You trust your staff?"
"Of course I do. They wouldn't be here if I didn't"
"Then," he said, stepping around the bed and pulling Carson to his feet. "Go quietly with Lorne and get some rest in your quarters."
Carson's eyes widened. Cheeky bugger. "Colonel, this is still my infirmary. If anyone needs to rest, it's you. You've had a long week. In fact, consider that a medical order. If you feel the need to have someone watch Rodney while he sleeps, I'm sure one of your soldiers will be happy to do it."
"Your staff can watch him. I want to make sure you get some rest. I know where my quarters are. Do you?"
Carson shook his head. "I know you mean well, but this is my responsibility. I have to make sure the rest of Atlantis is in good condition before I can go rest myself."
"Beckett," he growled. "Remember our conversation about the East Pier?"
Carson slumped back into the chair. "I'm not trying to be difficult, not this time. I am exhausted. It's been a long day. But I can't rest knowing Rodney is here like this. I need to use this time while I know he's safe to try and find a way to help him."
"You can sleep in your bed for a few hours first," Sheppard said, already manhandling him toward the door. "McKay'snot going anywhere."
Carson dug in his heels. "I'll make you a deal, John. If you agree to head to bed yourself for a few hours of sleep, I'll do the same." He could access the database just as easily from the laptop in his room as he could his office, anyway.
"Fine with me. The cot for Lorne should be in your room already."
"Cot? All right, I grudgingly agreed to be babysat, but if you actually want me to sleep, that isn't going to work. No offense Major." He shot an apologetic look backwards.
"None taken, Doc."
"I know you, Beckett," John said. "You're going to smile and tell me your going to sleep, but you'll be in your room playing on your laptop. I may look dumb, but remember, I could have been MENSA."
Carson growled in frustration. "Why are you doing this? What difference does it make if I do research instead of sleeping? I can understand not wanting me to go off and play with technology you aren't sure about, but this is my job, it's why I'm here."
"And you're about ready to drop. Sleep for a few hours and then do your research. That's all I’m asking. You need to be at your best for McKay's sake. We can't keep doing this."
"I've done more on far less sleep, Colonel. I'm lucky to get two or three hours a night most of the time. I assure you I am perfectly capable of functioning on very little sleep."
"I'm sure you are, but right now you don't have to."
He shook his head. "I always have to. The Atlantis staff comes first, including you and Rodney and Major Lorne. I don't sleep until everyone is out of danger, and Rodney isn't past that point yet."
"Fine!" he said finally, throwing his hands in the air. "Kill yourself too. I don't care. Lorne, watch him. Call me when he drops dead." Sheppard turned on his heel and headed out the door.
"Colonel." Carson knew he should just let him leave, be satisfied with getting his way, but he had to make him understand. "I... Please, understand..." He ran a hand through his hair. "Do you have any idea how many patients I've lost because I stopped to sleep and something happened? How many times just being there has made the difference? Why do you think I went into research and out of clinical practice? I got pulled back into it here, but..." His shoulders slumped, and suddenly he felt far more tired than he had.
"And tired soldiers make mistakes and get more people killed. I understand completely, Beckett. Do what you think is best since you're obviously not going to listen to me," he said, standing in the doorway.
He flinched from the harsh tone, telling himself John was just tired and had been through a lot in the past day. But he couldn't keep the pain out of his own voice. "I don't know how to stop. If I stop, people die."
"And if you continue at this rate, others will. Your choice."
He closed his eyes, swaying slightly, but out of exhaustion or the words, he didn't know. "That's harsh."
"That's life and I'm sick and tired of beating around the bush. Get some rest, Beckett, before you make a mistake that will cost McKay far more than his mind."
He couldn't fight anymore. He felt it drain out of him, leaving him empty. "Fine."
"Lorne," he heard Sheppard say, "make sure he gets some sleep. Call me if there's any problem. I'll be in my quarters after I brief Elizabeth."
"Yes, sir." Lorne took his shoulder and started leading him toward his room.
Carson didn’t protest this time. He wasn’t sure why the harshness had left him so cold, goodness knows he had had patients and friends and relatives act far worse. And he knew the Colonel was under a tremendous amount of stress. He didn’t even really register his surroundings until they were at his door. “Major, are you really going to sleep at the foot of my bed?”
"At the foot, no. On the cot near the window, yes. Order are orders, Doc," he said, gesturing Carson inside and following a few seconds behind. "He means well, you know."
Carson sighed, pulling off his lab coat and draping it over a chair. This wouldn't be the first time he slept fully dressed. "I know, but I think he forgets that Rodney and I aren't soldiers sometimes. Neither of us is used to taking orders, and, well, being treated like a subordinate."
"He's worried. Real worried," Lorne said after a few moments. "I've actually never seen him like this before."
"I know." He dropped on to the bed, staring at the ceiling.
"It's not a good excuse, but it's the only one I have," Lorne said, shrugging off his long-sleeved BDU top, leaving the black t-shirt on underneath.
"He's just doing his job. I just resent that he is'na letting me do mine. I know he cares about McKay, they are close friends and we all need that out here. But sometimes I think he forgets that being the one to stay behind and patch everyone up is a far harder job. I have to watch you all risk your lives, and then I'm expected to find miracles to put you back together again."
"And all he wants is for you to be at your best. He's seen far too many people die because someone didn't take care of themselves." Lorne paused. "And so have I."
"Aye, and I've seen too many people die because I didn't get there fast enough, wasn't good enough to save them. I've spent large chunks of my life avoiding large blocks of sleep, since every time I stop, it seems like someone else gets hurt because of it." Carson closed his eyes. The conversation was starting to depress him.
"McKay's in good hands," Lorne finally said, his voice quiet. "And once you get some rest, he'll be in the best hands Atlantis can offer. Please?"
Carson felt the familiar knot form in his chest, made of up expectations that he could find the cure, save someone. He set the alarm to go off in three hours, the curled up on his side. "Enjoy your nap, Major. You need the rest as much as Sheppard does."
"No kidding, Doc. You've not exactly been easy to keep up with."
He chuckled. "Sorry about that, lad. Welcome to the wonderful world of emergency medicine."
"Nothing to be sorry about. Just remind me not to run if you have a needle in your hand and it's aimed my way. You'll stick me with it before I even get a few feet away."
"I have faith in your running abilities. I just need to make sure I always get a good head start on you."
"Trust me, doc," he said, flipping off the lights as he settled onto the cot. "You don't need a head start."
"Maybe not, but it never hurts to have one."
"Night," he said chuckling softly.
"Night. And for what it's worth, thanks." Carson closed his eyes, forcing his body to relax. If nothing else, he had learned to fall asleep fast and take advantage of whatever sleep he could get. It wasn't more than a few minutes before he had drifted off.
***
TBC
Carson watched his friend drift off into sleep, relieved that at least he knew the man was going to get a good night’s sleep. Once he was sure Rodney was out, he dropped down into a nearby chair.
He let his mind drift for a minute, forgetting he wasn’t alone. He jerked when a hand touched his shoulder, reminding him of their presence.
"Ready to head back, Doc?"
"Major, I think you are trying to give me a heart attack with all the sneaking around. And actually, I think I'm going to try and get some paperwork done. I'm here, and I'd like to be close in case anything happens."
"He's out cold, right?" Sheppard asked, still standing at the foot of the bed, his eyes fixed on the sleeping scientist.
"Aye, that will keep him asleep for the next ten hours or so. I've used it on him before, and that seems to be the average time. He was exhausted, so it might be a bit longer than that. You should get some sleep, Colonel, you look like you've been hit by a truck."
"You trust your staff?"
"Of course I do. They wouldn't be here if I didn't"
"Then," he said, stepping around the bed and pulling Carson to his feet. "Go quietly with Lorne and get some rest in your quarters."
Carson's eyes widened. Cheeky bugger. "Colonel, this is still my infirmary. If anyone needs to rest, it's you. You've had a long week. In fact, consider that a medical order. If you feel the need to have someone watch Rodney while he sleeps, I'm sure one of your soldiers will be happy to do it."
"Your staff can watch him. I want to make sure you get some rest. I know where my quarters are. Do you?"
Carson shook his head. "I know you mean well, but this is my responsibility. I have to make sure the rest of Atlantis is in good condition before I can go rest myself."
"Beckett," he growled. "Remember our conversation about the East Pier?"
Carson slumped back into the chair. "I'm not trying to be difficult, not this time. I am exhausted. It's been a long day. But I can't rest knowing Rodney is here like this. I need to use this time while I know he's safe to try and find a way to help him."
"You can sleep in your bed for a few hours first," Sheppard said, already manhandling him toward the door. "McKay'snot going anywhere."
Carson dug in his heels. "I'll make you a deal, John. If you agree to head to bed yourself for a few hours of sleep, I'll do the same." He could access the database just as easily from the laptop in his room as he could his office, anyway.
"Fine with me. The cot for Lorne should be in your room already."
"Cot? All right, I grudgingly agreed to be babysat, but if you actually want me to sleep, that isn't going to work. No offense Major." He shot an apologetic look backwards.
"None taken, Doc."
"I know you, Beckett," John said. "You're going to smile and tell me your going to sleep, but you'll be in your room playing on your laptop. I may look dumb, but remember, I could have been MENSA."
Carson growled in frustration. "Why are you doing this? What difference does it make if I do research instead of sleeping? I can understand not wanting me to go off and play with technology you aren't sure about, but this is my job, it's why I'm here."
"And you're about ready to drop. Sleep for a few hours and then do your research. That's all I’m asking. You need to be at your best for McKay's sake. We can't keep doing this."
"I've done more on far less sleep, Colonel. I'm lucky to get two or three hours a night most of the time. I assure you I am perfectly capable of functioning on very little sleep."
"I'm sure you are, but right now you don't have to."
He shook his head. "I always have to. The Atlantis staff comes first, including you and Rodney and Major Lorne. I don't sleep until everyone is out of danger, and Rodney isn't past that point yet."
"Fine!" he said finally, throwing his hands in the air. "Kill yourself too. I don't care. Lorne, watch him. Call me when he drops dead." Sheppard turned on his heel and headed out the door.
"Colonel." Carson knew he should just let him leave, be satisfied with getting his way, but he had to make him understand. "I... Please, understand..." He ran a hand through his hair. "Do you have any idea how many patients I've lost because I stopped to sleep and something happened? How many times just being there has made the difference? Why do you think I went into research and out of clinical practice? I got pulled back into it here, but..." His shoulders slumped, and suddenly he felt far more tired than he had.
"And tired soldiers make mistakes and get more people killed. I understand completely, Beckett. Do what you think is best since you're obviously not going to listen to me," he said, standing in the doorway.
He flinched from the harsh tone, telling himself John was just tired and had been through a lot in the past day. But he couldn't keep the pain out of his own voice. "I don't know how to stop. If I stop, people die."
"And if you continue at this rate, others will. Your choice."
He closed his eyes, swaying slightly, but out of exhaustion or the words, he didn't know. "That's harsh."
"That's life and I'm sick and tired of beating around the bush. Get some rest, Beckett, before you make a mistake that will cost McKay far more than his mind."
He couldn't fight anymore. He felt it drain out of him, leaving him empty. "Fine."
"Lorne," he heard Sheppard say, "make sure he gets some sleep. Call me if there's any problem. I'll be in my quarters after I brief Elizabeth."
"Yes, sir." Lorne took his shoulder and started leading him toward his room.
Carson didn’t protest this time. He wasn’t sure why the harshness had left him so cold, goodness knows he had had patients and friends and relatives act far worse. And he knew the Colonel was under a tremendous amount of stress. He didn’t even really register his surroundings until they were at his door. “Major, are you really going to sleep at the foot of my bed?”
"At the foot, no. On the cot near the window, yes. Order are orders, Doc," he said, gesturing Carson inside and following a few seconds behind. "He means well, you know."
Carson sighed, pulling off his lab coat and draping it over a chair. This wouldn't be the first time he slept fully dressed. "I know, but I think he forgets that Rodney and I aren't soldiers sometimes. Neither of us is used to taking orders, and, well, being treated like a subordinate."
"He's worried. Real worried," Lorne said after a few moments. "I've actually never seen him like this before."
"I know." He dropped on to the bed, staring at the ceiling.
"It's not a good excuse, but it's the only one I have," Lorne said, shrugging off his long-sleeved BDU top, leaving the black t-shirt on underneath.
"He's just doing his job. I just resent that he is'na letting me do mine. I know he cares about McKay, they are close friends and we all need that out here. But sometimes I think he forgets that being the one to stay behind and patch everyone up is a far harder job. I have to watch you all risk your lives, and then I'm expected to find miracles to put you back together again."
"And all he wants is for you to be at your best. He's seen far too many people die because someone didn't take care of themselves." Lorne paused. "And so have I."
"Aye, and I've seen too many people die because I didn't get there fast enough, wasn't good enough to save them. I've spent large chunks of my life avoiding large blocks of sleep, since every time I stop, it seems like someone else gets hurt because of it." Carson closed his eyes. The conversation was starting to depress him.
"McKay's in good hands," Lorne finally said, his voice quiet. "And once you get some rest, he'll be in the best hands Atlantis can offer. Please?"
Carson felt the familiar knot form in his chest, made of up expectations that he could find the cure, save someone. He set the alarm to go off in three hours, the curled up on his side. "Enjoy your nap, Major. You need the rest as much as Sheppard does."
"No kidding, Doc. You've not exactly been easy to keep up with."
He chuckled. "Sorry about that, lad. Welcome to the wonderful world of emergency medicine."
"Nothing to be sorry about. Just remind me not to run if you have a needle in your hand and it's aimed my way. You'll stick me with it before I even get a few feet away."
"I have faith in your running abilities. I just need to make sure I always get a good head start on you."
"Trust me, doc," he said, flipping off the lights as he settled onto the cot. "You don't need a head start."
"Maybe not, but it never hurts to have one."
"Night," he said chuckling softly.
"Night. And for what it's worth, thanks." Carson closed his eyes, forcing his body to relax. If nothing else, he had learned to fall asleep fast and take advantage of whatever sleep he could get. It wasn't more than a few minutes before he had drifted off.
***
TBC