putting it off [TR for Jack]
dated sometime after this thread
Sam had tried to pretend that the news Juliet had given her wasn't really real. It hadn't been the news she wanted to hear, not even close. Every time she thought about it, she wanted to kick herself for being so stupid. It wasn't like she didn't know the basic realities of human reproduction. Getting herself so stinking drunk that she hadn't even cared to take the simple precaution of reminding Jack to use a condom was probably at the top of her short list of stupid things she'd done in her life. She was an experienced scientist and a seasoned military officer--she was supposed to have more sense than a careless teenage girl, and yet? Here she was, pregnant. When she had no desire to be.
She'd put off telling Jack for the simple reason that she knew he'd be over the moon about it. She knew how badly Jack wanted kids--and she couldn't blame him for that, not at all--but seeing him all happy about this baby when she had no desire at all to be pregnant was something she didn't think she could handle.
It wasn't that Sam didn't like kids. She loved kids. But she didn't want them here. Not in a place where anyone could vanish at any moment. It was different, her relationship with Jack--they were adults and knew what they were getting into and knew the possibility that either or both of them could disappear and this life they built together would be gone. But to subject a kid to that? To bring a child into the world knowing that his or her parents could disappear with no warning? No. She didn't want to subject a child to that. She didn't judge anyone who had, because that was a personal thing, but her choice was not this.
So she was putting off telling Jack about this, instead concentrating on doing busy kinds of things that would keep her occupied and hopefully discourage Jack from asking her questions--not that anything ever discouraged him when he got his mind around something. Right now she was organizing the bookshelves in her old hut. She had too damn many books stolen from the compound bookshelf, and needed a new space for them, so she was organizing the shelves she had and building another one to hold the overflow. Hammering and building was a good outlet for her frustration.
Sam had tried to pretend that the news Juliet had given her wasn't really real. It hadn't been the news she wanted to hear, not even close. Every time she thought about it, she wanted to kick herself for being so stupid. It wasn't like she didn't know the basic realities of human reproduction. Getting herself so stinking drunk that she hadn't even cared to take the simple precaution of reminding Jack to use a condom was probably at the top of her short list of stupid things she'd done in her life. She was an experienced scientist and a seasoned military officer--she was supposed to have more sense than a careless teenage girl, and yet? Here she was, pregnant. When she had no desire to be.
She'd put off telling Jack for the simple reason that she knew he'd be over the moon about it. She knew how badly Jack wanted kids--and she couldn't blame him for that, not at all--but seeing him all happy about this baby when she had no desire at all to be pregnant was something she didn't think she could handle.
It wasn't that Sam didn't like kids. She loved kids. But she didn't want them here. Not in a place where anyone could vanish at any moment. It was different, her relationship with Jack--they were adults and knew what they were getting into and knew the possibility that either or both of them could disappear and this life they built together would be gone. But to subject a kid to that? To bring a child into the world knowing that his or her parents could disappear with no warning? No. She didn't want to subject a child to that. She didn't judge anyone who had, because that was a personal thing, but her choice was not this.
So she was putting off telling Jack about this, instead concentrating on doing busy kinds of things that would keep her occupied and hopefully discourage Jack from asking her questions--not that anything ever discouraged him when he got his mind around something. Right now she was organizing the bookshelves in her old hut. She had too damn many books stolen from the compound bookshelf, and needed a new space for them, so she was organizing the shelves she had and building another one to hold the overflow. Hammering and building was a good outlet for her frustration.