What's the deal?
Today and yesterday have kind of sucked a lot. At least at work.
Yesterday:
1.I woke up 20 min before I needed to be at work
2.Kyle saw the doctor and felt really positive about the results
3.I felt like crap
Today:
1.Got slammed at work. Hard. I don't even want to go into it.
2.Ten times more sore.
3.Feeling emotional and vulnerable.
4.Kyle is going to go out partying.
5.I'm obsessing over the idea that now that he's well he's going to start being shitty to me.
6.I can't get a hold of anyone and I'm not really sure that I want to.
7.I just want to talk to him for five fucking minutes that he apparently can't spare.
Why does it make me feel uncomfortable when he goes out to drink?
1. I don't trust him? No.
2. I would really appreciate the chance to talk to him since I haven't for a couple of days? Getting warmer.
3. I'm jealous? Maybe. I don't know if it would be considered jealousy but I do think it bothers me that he can go and do things that I cannot legally do. Like being left out of a secret club or something. Maybe if I had a real idea of what it's like I would be bothered less or if I at least knew how he was in that situation I would worry less.
4. Then there is that fear of when he was feeling really good before and he started blowing me off to see his old buddies and act like a dick to. I'm not going to put up with anything like that.
I know it's a little early to be putting that much thought into this situation but that is shit I don't want to deal with. I've just had a shitty day and this could be resolved in the matter of one or two sentences but good luck trying to get a hold of him.
5. Also, I can't just "go have fun" with my friends on a Friday or Saturday night because Sven and Brandon work Friday and Saturday night. That leaves me with Kelly who is difficult to get a hold of and Chris who is also hard to get a hold of. At this point I don't want to fucking bother with any of it really and it's only 6pm. I feel like shit and I'm upset that he won't return my calls or text messages.
EDIT
Brandon called. I'm going out.
Yesterday:
1.I woke up 20 min before I needed to be at work
2.Kyle saw the doctor and felt really positive about the results
3.I felt like crap
Today:
1.Got slammed at work. Hard. I don't even want to go into it.
2.Ten times more sore.
3.Feeling emotional and vulnerable.
4.Kyle is going to go out partying.
5.I'm obsessing over the idea that now that he's well he's going to start being shitty to me.
6.I can't get a hold of anyone and I'm not really sure that I want to.
7.I just want to talk to him for five fucking minutes that he apparently can't spare.
Why does it make me feel uncomfortable when he goes out to drink?
1. I don't trust him? No.
2. I would really appreciate the chance to talk to him since I haven't for a couple of days? Getting warmer.
3. I'm jealous? Maybe. I don't know if it would be considered jealousy but I do think it bothers me that he can go and do things that I cannot legally do. Like being left out of a secret club or something. Maybe if I had a real idea of what it's like I would be bothered less or if I at least knew how he was in that situation I would worry less.
4. Then there is that fear of when he was feeling really good before and he started blowing me off to see his old buddies and act like a dick to. I'm not going to put up with anything like that.
I know it's a little early to be putting that much thought into this situation but that is shit I don't want to deal with. I've just had a shitty day and this could be resolved in the matter of one or two sentences but good luck trying to get a hold of him.
5. Also, I can't just "go have fun" with my friends on a Friday or Saturday night because Sven and Brandon work Friday and Saturday night. That leaves me with Kelly who is difficult to get a hold of and Chris who is also hard to get a hold of. At this point I don't want to fucking bother with any of it really and it's only 6pm. I feel like shit and I'm upset that he won't return my calls or text messages.
EDIT
Brandon called. I'm going out.