(no subject)
Someone read my journal and told me that it seems that I hold a lot of resentment towards life. I was like yea... I see how you could get that vibe.
But yes, I am bitter. I do not like the hand that I was dealt, atleast when I was younger. I had it hard I think. Had no father figure. Every man that my mom brought home was an ass. We lived poor. We did the whole food stamps and free lunch at school. My mom worked hard so we could make it. She couldnt spend much time with us. Normally you see the parents waking up before the kids and helping them get ready for school. Not us. My mom was still sleeping when I was off to school. She works on her feet all day so she need her rest. I was fat, and everyone knows that kids are mean. Still cant believe my mom actually let me get double meat whoppers and shit to eat. I was like fucking 8 or 9 eating that shit. Oh well... she didn't know better. I cant blame her for anything. She did what she thought was best. So I was fat and poor. So kids constantly put me down. Messed up my whole self esteem issues. blah blah blah whine whine whine.... I could go on forever.... really... I was a sad depressed fat lonely fucker... sometimes i still am...
But it all made me into who I am today. I genuinely think that I am a good person. I am a strong, independent, and compassionate person. I truly think that I am one of the best friends you will ever have. Sure I'll drink your beer and eat your food... but when you are really in a bind I'll put my life on hold to try to fix yours. If you need help steam cleaning your couch or need help moving furniture, I'm there. However, I still have the demons inside... They will probably always be there...
So when you read my journal, dont think that I hate everything that is living... My journal is a form of expression. I do have dark and troubled thoughts. But thats why I share them. It helps me from not holding it in...
Because my greatest fear in life is being alone... so i write it all on here so everyone can read it... that way I am not alone in a sense ... i am not the only one who knows that I feel the way I do...
i dont know... i just felt like writing something... Have a good day everybody!
But yes, I am bitter. I do not like the hand that I was dealt, atleast when I was younger. I had it hard I think. Had no father figure. Every man that my mom brought home was an ass. We lived poor. We did the whole food stamps and free lunch at school. My mom worked hard so we could make it. She couldnt spend much time with us. Normally you see the parents waking up before the kids and helping them get ready for school. Not us. My mom was still sleeping when I was off to school. She works on her feet all day so she need her rest. I was fat, and everyone knows that kids are mean. Still cant believe my mom actually let me get double meat whoppers and shit to eat. I was like fucking 8 or 9 eating that shit. Oh well... she didn't know better. I cant blame her for anything. She did what she thought was best. So I was fat and poor. So kids constantly put me down. Messed up my whole self esteem issues. blah blah blah whine whine whine.... I could go on forever.... really... I was a sad depressed fat lonely fucker... sometimes i still am...
But it all made me into who I am today. I genuinely think that I am a good person. I am a strong, independent, and compassionate person. I truly think that I am one of the best friends you will ever have. Sure I'll drink your beer and eat your food... but when you are really in a bind I'll put my life on hold to try to fix yours. If you need help steam cleaning your couch or need help moving furniture, I'm there. However, I still have the demons inside... They will probably always be there...
So when you read my journal, dont think that I hate everything that is living... My journal is a form of expression. I do have dark and troubled thoughts. But thats why I share them. It helps me from not holding it in...
Because my greatest fear in life is being alone... so i write it all on here so everyone can read it... that way I am not alone in a sense ... i am not the only one who knows that I feel the way I do...
i dont know... i just felt like writing something... Have a good day everybody!