fic: untitled baby fic
untitled baby fic
ryan lochte/michael phelps
nc17, 7128 words
warnings for mpreg
Michael decides he wants another baby.
The twins are three now, going on four, and Michael wants another baby, preferably now. He doesn’t bother asking Ryan if he wants another one or not because if he wants his dick anywhere near Michael’s vagina again then he’s going to give Michael another baby.
When Michael’s vagina comes back he puts the twins to bed and then proceeds to jump his husband. Ryan is lying on their bed playing a game of Halo when Michael steps into the bedroom and shuts off the X-box.
“Hey!” Ryan protests but shuts up when Michael throws his shirt off and crawls onto the bed. Ryan fingers automatically fondle Michael’s boobs, which are a lot smaller now because his first pregnancy ruined them, but Ryan is still obsessed with them, and he squeezes them gently. Michael swings his legs over Ryan’s waist and straddles his crotch.
Ryan digs his fingers into Michael’s hair and kisses him while Michael moans against his lips and rocks his hips. “Get naked,” Ryan demands when they break apart. Michael does as he’s told.
It doesn’t take long for Ryan to pin him to the bed, naked cock sliding over Michael’s bare thigh. “Where do you want it?” He asks, pulling away a little to run his fingers down the folds of Michael’s pussy to his asshole. Michael might get a pussy sometimes, but that doesn’t mean when he gets it he doesn’t want to be fucked in the ass.
“Fuck my pussy,” Michael breathes and kisses Ryan again.
Ryan reaches for a condom because Michael has him trained well - he knows if he wants his dick anywhere near Michael’s vagina then he needs to wear a condom - but Michael threads their fingers together and prevents him from reaching one.
“I want another baby,” Michael states.
Ryan makes a face. Michael adds, “Give me another baby.”
When Ryan doesn’t do anything but open and close his mouth a couple of times Michael says, “If you don’t get me pregnant I’m going to find someone else who will.”
“Listen you slut,” Ryan finally says. Michael glares. Ryan clears his throat and says, “Do you really want another baby?”
Michael nods and reaches for the lube. He coats his fingers in it and wraps them around Ryan’s dick, gently flicking his wrist. Ryan is distracted from his protesting for a little while but not even Michael’s handjob skills can convince him just to stick it in. “We already have two Mike,” he says.
“I know,” Michael replies. “And I want another one. I thought you wanted a lot of kids?”
Ryan groans and fucks into Michael’s fist. “I just - I’m still swimming.”
“Yep,” Michael says.
“Shut up,” Ryan whines. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to have a baby.”
Michael stops jacking Ryan off to kiss him. He smears lube over Ryan’s jaw and then licks it off. “I want another baby.”
“But like swimming,” Ryan protests. “I don’t want you at home with the twins and a newborn baby by yourself.”
“I can handle it,” Michael retorts, irritated. “Ryan I want another kid. Don’t you want more kids with me?”
“Of course I do MP,” Ryan replies and kisses the irritation out of Michael. Michael runs one set of fingers through Ryan’s hair and uses the others to go back to jacking him off. Ryan kisses down Michael’s throat and draws a nipple into his mouth, toys with it for a bit before he kisses Michael again.
“I want to make a shit ton of babies with you MP,” Ryan says. “Like you know how much I like you pregnant.” Michael rolls his eyes and nods. Ryan continues, “But like. I don’t want you to feel like you have to have babies cause you’re retired. And like the twins were total shits at first and we got overwhelmed and like if I’m gone at a meet or doing like an interview I don’t want you at home all by yourself with the twins and a newborn getting overwhelmed.”
Ryan’s protesting is kind of sweet. He wants babies with Michael, which is a relief, he just doesn’t want Michael getting too overwhelmed with them. Michael kisses Ryan hard. “Donna said we could call her any time we need help. And the twins are older, and yeah they’re kind of shits sometimes, but they’re good kids. I can do this. We can do this.”
Ryan bites his lip and then, “Okay.” He kisses Michael back just as hard, sloppy and wet. “Let’s make another baby.”
Michael hooks his leg up high on Ryan’s waist and then it’s one, two, three and Ryan is sliding home on the third thrust. Michael gasps as Ryan pulls out and slides back in, starting a slow rhythm that he isn’t use to. Usually they fuck hard and fast, but when Ryan kisses him softly Michael knows Ryan’s in a different mood tonight and that he’s just along for the ride.
Ryan pulls back and lifts Michael’s leg a little higher, fucks in harder than before. Michael throws his head back and mewls, works his fingers down and starts working at his clit. Ryan makes a frustrated noise and knocks Michael’s fingers out of place, replacing them with his own.
It doesn’t take much to make Michael come. Ryan presses his legs against his chest and fucks him the way he wants to be fucked, fingers working at Michael’s clit. On one particularly brutal thrust Michael comes with a shout. Ryan fucks away and doesn’t come until Michael reaches up and draws him into a kiss, biting at his lower lip.
Ryan pulls out and ducks his head to lick at Michael’s pussy and Michael moans, ready for it, until he remembers that they’re supposed to be making another baby. “Stop,” he struggles to say, “gotta make a baby, remember?”
Ryan actually frowns but stops what he’s doing. “I want to eat you out,” he whines.
“I need all your demon sperm to make a baby,” Michael replies.
“What if I fuck you again tonight?” Ryan questions.
Michael needs all the sperm he can get to make this baby but he also really wants Ryan to eat him out. He stares down at Ryan who’s biting at Michael’s thigh and making Michael horny again.
“FineNo,” he says, “no you cannot put your brother in the fire.”
“Oh,” Noah says and waddles away to play with the dogs.
Michael’s left staring in horror after his son. Loren walks up and tries to touch his stomach but he isn’t tall enough to reach so he touches Michael’s knees instead. “I won’t put the baby in the fire.”
“Thank you,” Michael says, relieved that at least one of his sons isn’t a budding psychopath.
It turns out, with much gentle prodding from Ryan, that Noah still isn’t exactly sure what’s going on. He knows what babies are, but he doesn’t understand that the baby is in Michael’s stomach. He’s fascinated with the fire pit in the backyard, and even more fascinated watching things go in it, and not understanding that the baby is a real thing thinks that it can go in the fire. Ryan explains that he can’t, but Michael’s still a little bit creeped out.
Their families are excited about the new baby, and Debbie even more excited that this one isn’t going to be born out of wedlock and that Ryan’s finally made a decent man out of Michael.
With this pregnancy Michael doesn’t start to show until he’s three and a half months pregnant. He doesn’t feel as fat as with his previous one, mostly because he doesn’t have to eat for three this time around, but like his first pregnancy Michael craves nasty things and has horrible morning sickness.
Ryan is training for his last Olympics ever so he’s gone most mornings, but he always leaves a bottle of water in the bathroom for Michael to drink once he’s done vomiting his stomach up. It’s sweet, and Michael hopes that this time around things will go a lot smoother, with a whole lot less bitchiness on his part.
Michael is wrong.
Being pregnant and taking care of twins really kind of sucks.
The twins are older and can walk and talk and go potty by themselves but being four-year-old boys means that they’re rowdy and constantly wanting to play. They have each other, which makes things easier, but when Michael’s barfing his brains out and the twins are demanding to be fed Michael kind of regrets letting Ryan knock him up.
Michael’s up by eight each morning and by eleven he’s completely exhausted and trying his hardest not to bitch at his children. They’re not the same little shits they used to be when they were first born, but they can still be devil children when they want to be. Michael’s also constantly irritated because of his hormones and it doesn’t take much to make him snap, but Ryan tries his best to get done with practice and training and be home so Michael’s not all alone.
The morning sickness wells up and then dies down as Michael heads into his twelfth week, but unlike with his first pregnancy, Michael is constantly exhausted. On most days, as soon as Ryan gets home, Michael curls back up in bed or lies on the couch trying to muster some energy.
Ryan becomes concerned, but Dr Waltz assures them that it’s just a negative side effect of pregnancy, and it’ll pass once Michael settles into the second trimester.
Ryan has to pick up the slack of entertaining the kids, which isn’t really fair, but he never complains. Instead he just waits on Michael hand and foot and comes up with interesting ways to keep the kids from getting bored. Without him Michael would be lost.
It’s summer too, so the kids are at home at not at pre-school, and it’s hot as balls outside and inside. Michael collapses on the couch in shorts and a wife beater, but not before turning the air conditioning on as low as it will go.
It’s quiet because the dogs are outside and so are the kids and his oversized husband. Michael plans to take a short nap before he helps Ryan make dinner and make up for all the shit he’s piled on his husband over the past two weeks.
“Is the baby in there?” Lo asks.
Michael opens his eyes. Noah and Lo are supposed to be having a water fight in the backyard with their dad. Lo is staring at Michael’s stomach where his shirt has ridden up, exposing the little swell of his belly.
“Yeah he’s in there,” Michael replies touching his stomach.
Lo bites his lip. “Can I touch?”
“Come here,” Michael says and picks Lo up when he’s close enough. He’s wet and is going to make everything around him wet, but he’s showing interest in the baby which Michael thinks is a good thing. He places his tiny hands on Michael’s stomach and rubs. “Daddy says if you talk to the baby the baby can hear us.”
Michael’s not far enough long for the baby to hear them but he’s not going to tell Lo that. “You should say hello.”
Lo grins and leans forward. “Hi -” he stops and looks confused. “Daddy what’s his name?”
“Er,” Michael says, “he doesn’t have one yet.”
“Daddy,” Lo says in horror. “Daddy he needs a name!”
“I know,” Michael replies. “But he’s not going to be born for a long time. What do you think we should name him?”
“Loren,” Lo giggles.
“Loren?” Michael says and grins. He tickles Lo’s stomach. “But your name’s Loren!”
Lo just laughs as Michael continues to tickle him. He has to stop when Lo tells him that he came inside to go potty and might pee himself, but Lo looks up at him with his baby blue eyes and asks, “are you gonna come play with us?”
Michael was feeling sick to his stomach earlier, but the sickness is starting to fade away and Lo’s giving him that dumb puppy look he inherited from his father Michael finds hard to resist. “Fine,” Michael sighs. “But let’s go potty first.”
Lo grins wide and gently slides off the couch. He follows closely behind Michael as he slips into his room and then disappears into the bathroom to relieve his bladder. Michael quickly changes into a pair of trunks and then throws on one of Ryan’s old t-shirts when he sees himself in the mirror.
He still has left over pudge from the twins that never seemed to go away, not even when he got back in shape and got back to competing. With the extra pudge he looks further along than he really is.
“Daddy,” Lo says, distracting Michael from his stomach. “I can’t reach the sink.”
“Did you flush the toilet?” Michael asks. “I didn’t hear it flush Loren Steven.”
Lo blushes but goes to flush the toilet. When he’s done Michael lifts him up so he can wash his hands and then they head outside to find the other two members of their family.
The dogs are outside running around the backyard in the sprinklers but Ryan and Noah are nowhere to be found. There are popped water balloons everywhere, but Michael manages to find two or three that haven’t popped. “Here,” he says handing one to Lo and preparing for the ambush that’s sure to come.
It doesn’t take long for the ambush to happen. They take three steps towards the dogs and then Ryan comes around the corner in his white speedo and a water gun and sprays them both while Noah tries to throw water balloons at them that either bounce or miss.
Lo starts screaming, but it’s a happy scream, and tries to throw his one water balloon at his brother but it hits the house instead. Michael manages to hit Ryan in the chest and then he grabs Lo and runs towards the sprinklers.
Ryan and Noah chase after them but Ryan slips in the wet grass and lands on his ass. At first he just lies there and Michael curses under his breath, afraid that Ryan’s broken a leg or something which would really suck if Michael was stuck pregnant and taking care of twins and his crippled husband, but Ryan starts yelling “man down!” and Michael takes his opportunity to attack.
“Quick!” He yells, handing Lo the last water balloon. “Get Daddy while he’s down!”
Lo runs over to Ryan and climbs on him, dropping the water balloon on his chest. It doesn’t pop but Ryan makes a dramatic gasping noise. Noah tries to throw a water balloon at Michael but Michael gets him around the waist and mouths at his belly, making any attempts futile.
When Michael’s done trying to eat his baby Noah gets serious and asks, “Is Daddy okay?” because Ryan hasn’t moved. Loren is sitting on his chest poking him but Ryan is playing dead.
“Daddy,” Lo calls. “I think he’s dead.”
Michael gets on his knees next to Ryan and places Noah on the ground next to him. “Did you poke him?”
Lo nods. Michael puts on his thinking face. “Did you give him a kiss?”
Lo shakes his head. He gives Ryan a kiss but Ryan still doesn’t move. “Hm,” Michael ponders. “Did you tickle him?”
Both boys start to tickle Ryan but they have to stop because Ryan starts to laugh and tries to roll away. He gets too far away from them and they both loose interest in tickling their dad and ask if they can play with Herman and Carter in the sprinklers instead. Stella’s left her brothers to curl up under a nearby tree and get dirty.
When the twins run towards the sprinklers Ryan crawls back to Michael’s side. The idiot’s managed to get grass stains all over his speedo that will be impossible to get out. “Why are you even wearing that?” Michael asks.
“Why are you wearing a shirt?” Ryan retorts, ignoring the question. He reaches out and touches the hem of Michael’s shirt but doesn’t try to pull it up. He knows better.
“I’m pregnant,” Michael states, not taking his eyes off the twins. The dogs are good babysitters but sometimes everyone gets rowdy and someone ends up hurt. It’s usually one of the dogs.
“It’s just me and the kids,” Ryan points out, playing with the shirt. His knuckles scrape over Michael’s stomach.
“You’re a pervert,” Michael says. “You just want to see me without a shirt.”
Ryan grins and doesn’t even try to deny it. Michael rolls his eyes but takes the shirt off and when Ryan whistles Michael slaps him on the thigh.
“You know I find you sexy no matter what, right?” Ryan says and touches Michael’s stomach.
“You’re saying that now,” Michael replies and swats Ryan’s hand away when it tries to inch higher. “But wait until I’m as big as a whale.”
“But there’s only one in there,” Ryan argues, “you’re not going to be big as a whale this time.”
Michael doesn’t reply. Ryan sits up and looks Michael dead in the eye. “I love you.”
Michael shakes his head, but he can’t help but smile, just a little bit. “You just want in my pants.”
“Damn right,” Ryan replies seriously.
Michael almost manages to slap his thigh, but Ryan is up racing towards the sprinklers before Michael can reach him. Michael rolls his eyes playfully but follows after him, and then spends the rest of the afternoon chasing his family through the sprinklers.
The exhaustion finally goes away when Michael hits the twenty weeks mark. They drop the twins off at Grandma Ike’s and then head to Dr Waltz’s office where they find out that their baby his healthy and also a boy. Michael’s kind of frightened to be having another boy to add to the lot, but Ryan’s excited and even starts to come up with names on the way to Ike’s.
“No,” Michael says to Jax, but doesn’t disagree that Jack might be a good name.
The twins also start pre-school and are surprisingly happy about it. They’re only gone for three hours and are barely four blocks away, but they’re so happy to be big boys now that they don’t complain when they have to get up a bit earlier and can’t stay at home with their dads anymore.
Ryan’s the one who has a fit about it.
When he gets home from practice the kids are still at school. He frowns at Michael the first day and mopes around the house as Michael sorts through old baby stuff left over from the twins. They have the money to buy the baby all new stuff, but they’ve always lived below their means and there’s no point in buying all new stuff when they have a lot of hand-me-downs that still fit. Maybe they’ll buy new furniture, maybe.
“When do the twins come home?” Ryan whines.
“We have to pick them up,” Michael explains.
“When’s that?” Ryan asks and flops on the couch. He curls up around Stella who licks his face.
Michael stops sorting through clothes to look at him. “In thirty minutes you big baby.”
Ryan makes a face. “Not my fault I miss them.”
Michael shakes his head and throws a few onsies at him. “Make yourself useful and help me fold these.”
Ryan starts to grumble but folds the clothes like he’s been asked to. He makes them leave ten minutes before they really need to, and spends the entire walk to the pre-school trying his best to subtlety tell Michael to walk faster.
“I’m pregnant you dick,” Michael says. “And it’s fucking hot.”
“Sorry,” Ryan says and falls back to hold Michael’s hand and walk with him.
The twins are happy to see them but don’t want to leave the school. Ryan seems upset about this because when he was a kid he never wanted to stay in school.
On the walk home he grumbles, “Are you sure you didn’t have these kids with Adrian and not me?”
Michael laughs and gives Ryan a kiss on the cheek. “They’re all yours Lochte, but I’m not sure about this one.”
“You slut,” Ryan whispers.
The next two months are easy.
Michael grows much larger, and the twins take more interest in his growing belly. They volunteer to decorate the brand new nursery and after painting three of the walls light grey, Ryan paints the last wall with special blackboard paint and lets the twins draw cartoons all over it to welcome their new baby brother into the family.
Michael begrudgingly agrees to sell their old baby furniture and buy all new furniture when his vagina comes back. It’s less painful this time around, and he knows better than to blame everything on Conor. The twins are confused by the arrival of boobs, but unlike their father soon lose interest in them when they’re told they’re not allowed to touch or play with them.
“That goes for you too,” Michael scolds when Ryan tries to touch them.
Ryan frowns and looks at Michael’s chest sadly. Michael sighs and says, “Maybe if you’re good.”
“You’re the best,” Ryan says and kisses him. Michael just pushes him away and demands that Ryan make him a banana sandwich and maybe, just maybe Michael might let him touch his boobs. Ryan makes the sandwich in record time, and even makes a second one without having to be asked. When the twins are at the neighbor’s house playing with the neighbor’s girls Michael lets Ryan fondle him in exchange for a good fingering.
A week shy of the eight month mark Ryan leaves to go to LA with Conor and everyone else to do a shoot for Speedo. Michael was invited, probably by default, but turned down the offer but not before Ryan had to convince him not to send an angry email to Peter about how it’s not funny to get him invites to photo shoots when he looks like a walrus.
They have a rule that the twins aren’t allowed to spend the night in Michael and Ryan’s bed, but Michael’s seven months pregnant and lonely and stupid Ryan is doing a stupid photo shoot for stupid Speedo.
“Hey guys,” he says to the twins as they brush their teeth. “Do you want to sleep in Daddy’s bed tonight?”
The twins’ eyes get wide. They finish brushing their teeth, grab their favorite blankets, and then head to Michael’s room where they curl up on either side of him. It’s warm with the both of them and their extra blankets they can’t seem to sleep without, so Michael’s forced to kick all of his sheets to the end of the bed.
He feels less lonely with his babies in his bed with him, but it means Michael can’t shift around like he wants. The baby is lying on his bladder and keeps trying to punch Noah -- whose managed to fall asleep with his head on Michael’s belly -- in the face.
Eventually he manages to fall asleep, but he’s woken by someone else crawling into bed. At first Michael thinks it’s one of the dogs, but realizes quickly that it’s his husband. “Ryan?”
Ryan kisses his shoulder. “Why are there babies in our bed?”
“Was lonely,” Michael mumbles, still groggy from sleep. His lisp is thick and it slurs his words, but Ryan just laughs against his skin and lifts Loren out of the way to spoon him. Loren protests in his sleep but Ryan lays him gently against his chest and the toddler calms down.
“You’re home early,” Michael says as he turns to give Ryan a kiss. Noah head slides off his belly and for the first time all night Michael shifts into a comfortable position.
“I didn’t want you to be too lonely,” Ryan explains.
“So sweet of you,” Michael replies and falls back asleep.
When the twins wake up and find that their daddy is home they climb all over him and cover him with kisses.
At eight months Michael begins to visit Dr Waltz ever week. They discuss Michael’s diet, and his exhaustion, and agree that everything is going fine until they start to discuss Michael’s birth plan and Dr Waltz tells him that there’s no C-section this time.
“What do you mean I have to give birth?!” Michael yells.
Dr Waltz looks at him like he’s stupid. “How else is the baby supposed to come out of you?”
“A C-section,” Michael hisses. “I thought I was going to have a C-section”
Dr Waltz sighs. “Mr Phelps-Lochte,” he says, “it’s not possible for you to have a C-section this time, unless there’s an emergency with your labor.”
“I want a C-section,” Michael grumbles.
“If something goes wrong with your labor then you will have a C-section,” Dr Waltz explains, not fazed by Michaels’ temper tantrum. “But if not your labor will be a natural one.”
Michael’s temper tantrum doesn’t stop on the way home.
“People shit themselves Ryan!” Michael yells. “They shit themselves!”
Ryan makes a face. Michael continues, “People shit themselves and things tear. My fucking vagina can tear.”
“Women give birth all the time Mike,” Ryan replies “I’m sure -”
“I’m not a fucking women!” Michael cuts him off with a shout.
“I didn’t say you were,” Ryan hisses back, voice rising in anger. “I’m just saying like you have the body parts and like a C-section is a fucking major surgery so if the doc says it’s not necessary then don’t have it.”
Michael doesn’t reply, just stares angrily out the window. He doesn’t want to push a baby out of the vagina he’s not even supposed to have; he wants the baby, of course, but he wants to be drugged up and not able to feel anything when it comes out of him.
When they arrive home Ryan doesn’t even help him out of the car like he usually does. Noah and Loren are still at pre-school which means there’s nothing to distract them from the shitty fight they had in the car. Michael tries to busy himself with tidying the twins room, but soon gives up when he realizes that he can’t reach the floor to pick up any toys.
As he waddles back into the living room he has to pass Ryan in the hall. Ryan gives him a sheepish look and Michael uses his large stomach to pin him against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” Michael says. “I didn’t mean to get angry at you. I’m just scared, okay?”
“It’s okay,” Ryan sighs and rubs Michael’s stomach. Jack moves around but doesn’t kick. “Why are you scared?”
“I’m going to shit myself,” Michael mumbles. Ryan stifles a laugh. “Ryan it’s not funny, okay? I’m going to shit myself or something’s going to tear or what if they have to cut me?”
“Mike,” Ryan laughs. “That shit’s like normal, okay? No one’s gonna notice.”
“Everyone’s going to be staring at my gaping vagina,” Michael continues.
Ryan scoffs. “Dude, it’s just gonna be me in there and like nurses. They’re use to gaping vaginas.”
“And what about you?” Michael asks. “You’re going to have to look at it too.”
Ryan kisses him. “Dude I was in the room when Zaydin was born. I can handle a gaping vagina.”
Michael makes a face and rolls his eyes. “I want an epidural,” he states. “I want one as soon as I go into labor.”
“I don’t think it works that way,” Ryan says, scrunching his nose. “But I’ll try to get you drugged up as soon as possible.”
It’s December, but it’s still irrationally hot for winter and Michael’s three days overdue. He’s hot, he’s fat, and he can’t see his feet. He wants the baby out, and he wants it out now.
“Maybe he feels extra safe in there,” Ryan tries to reason when Michael bitches about the baby. “It’s a scary world out here MP. He wants to stay in his daddy’s stomach for protection.”
“Get the fuck away from my stomach,” Michael hisses.
Ryan steps away. He gives Michael that dumb puppy face that makes Michael feel like shit, but Ryan should know better by now not to touch him so much. “Fine,” Michael grumbles when Ryan continues to give him that look. “But I want him out Lochte. This is all your fault.”
Ryan must know it’s not in his best interest to point out that Michael was the one who demanded he impregnate him because he doesn’t say anything, just gently rubs Michael’s belly and urges for Jack to make his way into the world. “Daddy’s here,” he tells the baby, “I’m not gonna let anything hurt you, jeah?”
Jack doesn’t reply. He remains still in Michael’s belly where he seems content to never leave.
Michael suffers through another three days of being pregnant before Jack decides he’s ready to come out. The twins are finally in bed-they’ve been refusing to go to bed because they’re afraid Jack might be born when they’re asleep-and Michael’s just finally starting to fall asleep when he pisses himself.
“Fuck!” He curses, pissed that he didn’t even realize that he needed the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan asks around his toothbrush.
“I pissed myself,” Michael explains with embarrassment. He’s peed himself only once during this pregnancy, when he really needed to use the bathroom and Ryan wouldn’t make him stop laughing. It had been embarrassing, and luckily they were at home and Ryan didn’t make fun of him for it, just offered to put Michael’s clothes in the washing machine for him.
As Michael climbs off the bed he realizes that he still hasn’t stopped peeing. There’s still some urine trickling down his thigh and he quickly says, “Lochte don’t say shit,” giant ears red from humiliation.
Ryan goes into the bathroom and spits in the sink before he returns to the bedroom. As Michael goes into the bathroom to shed his urine covered pajama bottoms Ryan starts to strip the bed.
“Hey MP,” Ryan says while Michael sits on the toilet, frustrated that he still isn’t done pissing. “This doesn’t smell like urine.”
“Lochte that’s gross,” Michael replies. “Why did you smell the sheets?”
Ryan pops his head into the bathroom. “Because you’re nine months pregnant? MP I think your water just broke.”
Michael looks up. “I - shit.”
Ryan begins to grin like a madman.
Michael doesn’t start to have contractions for another thirty minutes. They hurt, with the pain traveling from his lower back to his front, but they aren’t debilitating. Ryan calls Dr Waltz to let him know that Michael’s in labor, but they still have to wait until the contractions are seven minutes apart, which could take hours. He also calls Ike who, at first, is angry at being woken up at near midnight but soon changes her tune when her son informs her that they’re going to have a baby soon.
Ike comes straight over. There are tears in her eyes, of course, and she gives both of them several kisses on the cheek.
It takes another five hours for Michael to get anywhere close to seven minutes apart. The twins thankfully sleep through the five hours despite the excitement in the air. The dogs are restless and Herman cuddles with Michael on the couch as Michael tries to breathe through the contractions.
When the contractions are finally seven minutes apart Michael gives the boys a kiss on the forehead (he feels bad for Ike because she’s the one who has to deal with them when they wake up and realize Jack is going to be born without them) and then makes Ryan drive as fast as possible to the hospital. His contractions finally really fucking hurt and Michael wants drugs as soon as possible. Ryan has to keep him from chewing the nurse out when she informs him that he’s only three centimeters dilated and won’t get his epidural for another hour.
“I want my drugs Lochte,” Michael hisses through a contraction. He’s sure he’s breaking Ryan’s hand as he holds it but Ryan can deal because this is all his fault. “You either get me my drugs or you get me a C-section.”
“Ow, ow, ow,” Ryan mutters. “Mike you’re crushing my hand.”
“Drugs!” Michael yells. “I. Want. My. Drugs.”
Ryan manages to wiggle his hand free of Michael’s steel grip. “I’m going to go ask the nurse to check you again, okay?”
Michael just glares. The nurse looks scared as she comes into the room but she quickly checks Michael out. “I’m going to get the anesthesiologist.”
“Good idea,” Michael tells her.
Michael remembers how painful the epidural is. He holds Ryan’s hand through the entire process, sure that it’s probably broken by now, and once the mixture of drugs starts to take affect he lies on his side and gently massages feeling back into said hand. “Sorry,” he mutters.
“It’s fine,” Ryan replies and winces.
Ike calls with regular updates on the twins as Michael’s labor proceeds. Noah and Loren are clearly upset that their baby brother is being born without them and they demand to talk to their Daddy, which ever that one is. They don’t want to talk to Ryan when he takes the phone, which clearly hurts his feelings, and they chew Michael’s ear off for even daring to give birth when they aren’t awake. Michael’s able to calm them down and assure them that Jack still hasn’t arrived and when he hangs up the phone he gently kisses Ryan’s forehead.
It takes thirteen hours for Michael to reach the point where he can push. Ryan helps to hold one of his legs up, and it takes Michael nearly an hour to push Jack out. He’s wet and pink when Dr Waltz sets him on Michael’s chest, but he’s screaming loudly and has all his fingers and toes. Michael cries a little bit because his baby is finally here and he’s sort of perfect.
After Michael pushes the placenta out and Dr Waltz fixes his tears the nurses take Jack to the nursery. Ryan goes with the baby to make sure he doesn’t get lost in the hospital and Michael takes a cat nap before they both return.
Jack is swaddled in a yellow blanket Ryan brought from home. He’s kind of tiny at only six pounds four ounces, but he’s still healthy.
“You should probably call your mom,” Michael says as Jack yawns and looks at him with wet brown eyes. Like his brothers he has Ryan’s dominant nose, but other than that he’s all Michael. Unfortunately he has Michael’s large ears, and his dark hair, but he’s still adorable for a newborn.
When Ike arrives with the twins and for some reason Conor and Devon as well the twins are still upset.
“Daddy,” Noah whines. “Why’d you have the baby without us?”
“Sorry baby,” Michael replies.” He wanted to be born while you were asleep.”
The twins seem satisfied with that answer. They argue over who gets to hold Jack first, and because they argue Michael lets Conor hold the baby first. “What are you doing here?”
“Ryan called me,” Conor replies, cradling Jack against his chest and supporting his head. “He didn’t want Ms Ike taking care of the twins and dogs all by herself.”
“And you?” Michael asks, eying Devon with suspicion.
“Dude, Ryan alerted the entire Lochte clan,” Devon replies, taking Jack from Conor to the twins’ displeasures, “I’m surprised Kristin and Megan aren’t here already.”
“Shit,” Michael curses. “I forgot to call my mom.”
“Michael,” Ike scolds. Noah is sitting on her lap and when Devon hands Jack over he looks like he’s about to piss himself in joy. Loren opens his mouth to protest but Ryan scoops him up and hushes him.
Debbie is reasonably pissed that Michael didn’t inform her that he went into labor. “Michael Fred,” she hisses through the phone, “I should have been the first person you called.”
“Sorry,” Michael says into the receiver. “But he’s here now. Did you get the pictures?”
Loren finally gets to hold Jack, and the rest of the Lochte clan make their appearances. When it’s time to go home Loren and Noah throw a fit because they don’t want to leave their new brother but Conor promises to spend the night which makes up for it.
Michael only spends two days in the hospital. The twins visit on both days after pre-school is finished and while they’re in school they draw pictures for Jack. Michael finds them all taped to the fridge when he finally gets home from the hospital.
Loren and Noah insist on showing Jack his new room.
Michael settles into the new rocking chair, still sore, while Ryan holds Jack and the twins show the baby everything in the room. When Ryan puts Jack in his crib to sleep, Noah wraps his tiny hands around the bars and peers in at his brother. “Does he like his room Daddy?”
“Of course he does,” Ryan replies, lifting the four-year-old up to get a better look while his brother crawls onto Michael’s lap.
“How’d you know?” Noah asks. “He can’t even talk!”
“Because daddies know baby talk duh,” Ryan replies dramatically. “He says he loves his room and he loves his brothers even more.”
“Really?” Noah questions, eyes getting wide.
“Jeah,” Ryan nods. “Wanna know a secret?”
Noah nods. Ryan leans in close and says, “I think he likes you guys more than us.”
“No he doesn’t!” Loren says. “He didn’t want to leave Daddy’s belly. He likes Daddy the best.”
“He loves all of us,” Michael quickly corrects.
When it’s time to go to bed Loren chews his lip and asks, “Can we sleep with Jack? Cause… cause he doesn’t have a brother like Noah and he might get lonely.”
Michael doesn’t think it’s a good idea because Jack won’t sleep through the night but it’s a Friday, meaning the twins can sleep in the next morning, and he finally gives in. Ryan sets up a blow up bed in the middle of the floor and makes it comfortable with blankets. The twins fall asleep easily and even somehow manage to sleep through most of the night, but when Jack wakes them up for the third time they give up and return to their own room.
Ryan is given the first two weeks off after Jack is born, and everything this time post-pregnancy is a lot easier. Jack does all the normal newborn things like never sleeping through the night and generally being fussy, but it’s a lot easier because there’s only one of him and his brothers are willing to help. Of course Michael can’t leave them unsupervised, and they don’t want to change a diaper after they realize how gross it is, but they’re willing to hand Michael a diaper and understand that they need to be big boys now that they’re big brothers.
“Are we done making babies?” Ryan asks sleepily one night. Jack is awake against his chest, but he’ll soon tire and fall asleep.
Michael looks him dead in the eye and says, “I want a daughter.”
Ryan groans.
ryan lochte/michael phelps
nc17, 7128 words
warnings for mpreg
Michael decides he wants another baby.
The twins are three now, going on four, and Michael wants another baby, preferably now. He doesn’t bother asking Ryan if he wants another one or not because if he wants his dick anywhere near Michael’s vagina again then he’s going to give Michael another baby.
When Michael’s vagina comes back he puts the twins to bed and then proceeds to jump his husband. Ryan is lying on their bed playing a game of Halo when Michael steps into the bedroom and shuts off the X-box.
“Hey!” Ryan protests but shuts up when Michael throws his shirt off and crawls onto the bed. Ryan fingers automatically fondle Michael’s boobs, which are a lot smaller now because his first pregnancy ruined them, but Ryan is still obsessed with them, and he squeezes them gently. Michael swings his legs over Ryan’s waist and straddles his crotch.
Ryan digs his fingers into Michael’s hair and kisses him while Michael moans against his lips and rocks his hips. “Get naked,” Ryan demands when they break apart. Michael does as he’s told.
It doesn’t take long for Ryan to pin him to the bed, naked cock sliding over Michael’s bare thigh. “Where do you want it?” He asks, pulling away a little to run his fingers down the folds of Michael’s pussy to his asshole. Michael might get a pussy sometimes, but that doesn’t mean when he gets it he doesn’t want to be fucked in the ass.
“Fuck my pussy,” Michael breathes and kisses Ryan again.
Ryan reaches for a condom because Michael has him trained well - he knows if he wants his dick anywhere near Michael’s vagina then he needs to wear a condom - but Michael threads their fingers together and prevents him from reaching one.
“I want another baby,” Michael states.
Ryan makes a face. Michael adds, “Give me another baby.”
When Ryan doesn’t do anything but open and close his mouth a couple of times Michael says, “If you don’t get me pregnant I’m going to find someone else who will.”
“Listen you slut,” Ryan finally says. Michael glares. Ryan clears his throat and says, “Do you really want another baby?”
Michael nods and reaches for the lube. He coats his fingers in it and wraps them around Ryan’s dick, gently flicking his wrist. Ryan is distracted from his protesting for a little while but not even Michael’s handjob skills can convince him just to stick it in. “We already have two Mike,” he says.
“I know,” Michael replies. “And I want another one. I thought you wanted a lot of kids?”
Ryan groans and fucks into Michael’s fist. “I just - I’m still swimming.”
“Yep,” Michael says.
“Shut up,” Ryan whines. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to have a baby.”
Michael stops jacking Ryan off to kiss him. He smears lube over Ryan’s jaw and then licks it off. “I want another baby.”
“But like swimming,” Ryan protests. “I don’t want you at home with the twins and a newborn baby by yourself.”
“I can handle it,” Michael retorts, irritated. “Ryan I want another kid. Don’t you want more kids with me?”
“Of course I do MP,” Ryan replies and kisses the irritation out of Michael. Michael runs one set of fingers through Ryan’s hair and uses the others to go back to jacking him off. Ryan kisses down Michael’s throat and draws a nipple into his mouth, toys with it for a bit before he kisses Michael again.
“I want to make a shit ton of babies with you MP,” Ryan says. “Like you know how much I like you pregnant.” Michael rolls his eyes and nods. Ryan continues, “But like. I don’t want you to feel like you have to have babies cause you’re retired. And like the twins were total shits at first and we got overwhelmed and like if I’m gone at a meet or doing like an interview I don’t want you at home all by yourself with the twins and a newborn getting overwhelmed.”
Ryan’s protesting is kind of sweet. He wants babies with Michael, which is a relief, he just doesn’t want Michael getting too overwhelmed with them. Michael kisses Ryan hard. “Donna said we could call her any time we need help. And the twins are older, and yeah they’re kind of shits sometimes, but they’re good kids. I can do this. We can do this.”
Ryan bites his lip and then, “Okay.” He kisses Michael back just as hard, sloppy and wet. “Let’s make another baby.”
Michael hooks his leg up high on Ryan’s waist and then it’s one, two, three and Ryan is sliding home on the third thrust. Michael gasps as Ryan pulls out and slides back in, starting a slow rhythm that he isn’t use to. Usually they fuck hard and fast, but when Ryan kisses him softly Michael knows Ryan’s in a different mood tonight and that he’s just along for the ride.
Ryan pulls back and lifts Michael’s leg a little higher, fucks in harder than before. Michael throws his head back and mewls, works his fingers down and starts working at his clit. Ryan makes a frustrated noise and knocks Michael’s fingers out of place, replacing them with his own.
It doesn’t take much to make Michael come. Ryan presses his legs against his chest and fucks him the way he wants to be fucked, fingers working at Michael’s clit. On one particularly brutal thrust Michael comes with a shout. Ryan fucks away and doesn’t come until Michael reaches up and draws him into a kiss, biting at his lower lip.
Ryan pulls out and ducks his head to lick at Michael’s pussy and Michael moans, ready for it, until he remembers that they’re supposed to be making another baby. “Stop,” he struggles to say, “gotta make a baby, remember?”
Ryan actually frowns but stops what he’s doing. “I want to eat you out,” he whines.
“I need all your demon sperm to make a baby,” Michael replies.
“What if I fuck you again tonight?” Ryan questions.
Michael needs all the sperm he can get to make this baby but he also really wants Ryan to eat him out. He stares down at Ryan who’s biting at Michael’s thigh and making Michael horny again.
“FineNo,” he says, “no you cannot put your brother in the fire.”
“Oh,” Noah says and waddles away to play with the dogs.
Michael’s left staring in horror after his son. Loren walks up and tries to touch his stomach but he isn’t tall enough to reach so he touches Michael’s knees instead. “I won’t put the baby in the fire.”
“Thank you,” Michael says, relieved that at least one of his sons isn’t a budding psychopath.
It turns out, with much gentle prodding from Ryan, that Noah still isn’t exactly sure what’s going on. He knows what babies are, but he doesn’t understand that the baby is in Michael’s stomach. He’s fascinated with the fire pit in the backyard, and even more fascinated watching things go in it, and not understanding that the baby is a real thing thinks that it can go in the fire. Ryan explains that he can’t, but Michael’s still a little bit creeped out.
Their families are excited about the new baby, and Debbie even more excited that this one isn’t going to be born out of wedlock and that Ryan’s finally made a decent man out of Michael.
With this pregnancy Michael doesn’t start to show until he’s three and a half months pregnant. He doesn’t feel as fat as with his previous one, mostly because he doesn’t have to eat for three this time around, but like his first pregnancy Michael craves nasty things and has horrible morning sickness.
Ryan is training for his last Olympics ever so he’s gone most mornings, but he always leaves a bottle of water in the bathroom for Michael to drink once he’s done vomiting his stomach up. It’s sweet, and Michael hopes that this time around things will go a lot smoother, with a whole lot less bitchiness on his part.
Michael is wrong.
Being pregnant and taking care of twins really kind of sucks.
The twins are older and can walk and talk and go potty by themselves but being four-year-old boys means that they’re rowdy and constantly wanting to play. They have each other, which makes things easier, but when Michael’s barfing his brains out and the twins are demanding to be fed Michael kind of regrets letting Ryan knock him up.
Michael’s up by eight each morning and by eleven he’s completely exhausted and trying his hardest not to bitch at his children. They’re not the same little shits they used to be when they were first born, but they can still be devil children when they want to be. Michael’s also constantly irritated because of his hormones and it doesn’t take much to make him snap, but Ryan tries his best to get done with practice and training and be home so Michael’s not all alone.
The morning sickness wells up and then dies down as Michael heads into his twelfth week, but unlike with his first pregnancy, Michael is constantly exhausted. On most days, as soon as Ryan gets home, Michael curls back up in bed or lies on the couch trying to muster some energy.
Ryan becomes concerned, but Dr Waltz assures them that it’s just a negative side effect of pregnancy, and it’ll pass once Michael settles into the second trimester.
Ryan has to pick up the slack of entertaining the kids, which isn’t really fair, but he never complains. Instead he just waits on Michael hand and foot and comes up with interesting ways to keep the kids from getting bored. Without him Michael would be lost.
It’s summer too, so the kids are at home at not at pre-school, and it’s hot as balls outside and inside. Michael collapses on the couch in shorts and a wife beater, but not before turning the air conditioning on as low as it will go.
It’s quiet because the dogs are outside and so are the kids and his oversized husband. Michael plans to take a short nap before he helps Ryan make dinner and make up for all the shit he’s piled on his husband over the past two weeks.
“Is the baby in there?” Lo asks.
Michael opens his eyes. Noah and Lo are supposed to be having a water fight in the backyard with their dad. Lo is staring at Michael’s stomach where his shirt has ridden up, exposing the little swell of his belly.
“Yeah he’s in there,” Michael replies touching his stomach.
Lo bites his lip. “Can I touch?”
“Come here,” Michael says and picks Lo up when he’s close enough. He’s wet and is going to make everything around him wet, but he’s showing interest in the baby which Michael thinks is a good thing. He places his tiny hands on Michael’s stomach and rubs. “Daddy says if you talk to the baby the baby can hear us.”
Michael’s not far enough long for the baby to hear them but he’s not going to tell Lo that. “You should say hello.”
Lo grins and leans forward. “Hi -” he stops and looks confused. “Daddy what’s his name?”
“Er,” Michael says, “he doesn’t have one yet.”
“Daddy,” Lo says in horror. “Daddy he needs a name!”
“I know,” Michael replies. “But he’s not going to be born for a long time. What do you think we should name him?”
“Loren,” Lo giggles.
“Loren?” Michael says and grins. He tickles Lo’s stomach. “But your name’s Loren!”
Lo just laughs as Michael continues to tickle him. He has to stop when Lo tells him that he came inside to go potty and might pee himself, but Lo looks up at him with his baby blue eyes and asks, “are you gonna come play with us?”
Michael was feeling sick to his stomach earlier, but the sickness is starting to fade away and Lo’s giving him that dumb puppy look he inherited from his father Michael finds hard to resist. “Fine,” Michael sighs. “But let’s go potty first.”
Lo grins wide and gently slides off the couch. He follows closely behind Michael as he slips into his room and then disappears into the bathroom to relieve his bladder. Michael quickly changes into a pair of trunks and then throws on one of Ryan’s old t-shirts when he sees himself in the mirror.
He still has left over pudge from the twins that never seemed to go away, not even when he got back in shape and got back to competing. With the extra pudge he looks further along than he really is.
“Daddy,” Lo says, distracting Michael from his stomach. “I can’t reach the sink.”
“Did you flush the toilet?” Michael asks. “I didn’t hear it flush Loren Steven.”
Lo blushes but goes to flush the toilet. When he’s done Michael lifts him up so he can wash his hands and then they head outside to find the other two members of their family.
The dogs are outside running around the backyard in the sprinklers but Ryan and Noah are nowhere to be found. There are popped water balloons everywhere, but Michael manages to find two or three that haven’t popped. “Here,” he says handing one to Lo and preparing for the ambush that’s sure to come.
It doesn’t take long for the ambush to happen. They take three steps towards the dogs and then Ryan comes around the corner in his white speedo and a water gun and sprays them both while Noah tries to throw water balloons at them that either bounce or miss.
Lo starts screaming, but it’s a happy scream, and tries to throw his one water balloon at his brother but it hits the house instead. Michael manages to hit Ryan in the chest and then he grabs Lo and runs towards the sprinklers.
Ryan and Noah chase after them but Ryan slips in the wet grass and lands on his ass. At first he just lies there and Michael curses under his breath, afraid that Ryan’s broken a leg or something which would really suck if Michael was stuck pregnant and taking care of twins and his crippled husband, but Ryan starts yelling “man down!” and Michael takes his opportunity to attack.
“Quick!” He yells, handing Lo the last water balloon. “Get Daddy while he’s down!”
Lo runs over to Ryan and climbs on him, dropping the water balloon on his chest. It doesn’t pop but Ryan makes a dramatic gasping noise. Noah tries to throw a water balloon at Michael but Michael gets him around the waist and mouths at his belly, making any attempts futile.
When Michael’s done trying to eat his baby Noah gets serious and asks, “Is Daddy okay?” because Ryan hasn’t moved. Loren is sitting on his chest poking him but Ryan is playing dead.
“Daddy,” Lo calls. “I think he’s dead.”
Michael gets on his knees next to Ryan and places Noah on the ground next to him. “Did you poke him?”
Lo nods. Michael puts on his thinking face. “Did you give him a kiss?”
Lo shakes his head. He gives Ryan a kiss but Ryan still doesn’t move. “Hm,” Michael ponders. “Did you tickle him?”
Both boys start to tickle Ryan but they have to stop because Ryan starts to laugh and tries to roll away. He gets too far away from them and they both loose interest in tickling their dad and ask if they can play with Herman and Carter in the sprinklers instead. Stella’s left her brothers to curl up under a nearby tree and get dirty.
When the twins run towards the sprinklers Ryan crawls back to Michael’s side. The idiot’s managed to get grass stains all over his speedo that will be impossible to get out. “Why are you even wearing that?” Michael asks.
“Why are you wearing a shirt?” Ryan retorts, ignoring the question. He reaches out and touches the hem of Michael’s shirt but doesn’t try to pull it up. He knows better.
“I’m pregnant,” Michael states, not taking his eyes off the twins. The dogs are good babysitters but sometimes everyone gets rowdy and someone ends up hurt. It’s usually one of the dogs.
“It’s just me and the kids,” Ryan points out, playing with the shirt. His knuckles scrape over Michael’s stomach.
“You’re a pervert,” Michael says. “You just want to see me without a shirt.”
Ryan grins and doesn’t even try to deny it. Michael rolls his eyes but takes the shirt off and when Ryan whistles Michael slaps him on the thigh.
“You know I find you sexy no matter what, right?” Ryan says and touches Michael’s stomach.
“You’re saying that now,” Michael replies and swats Ryan’s hand away when it tries to inch higher. “But wait until I’m as big as a whale.”
“But there’s only one in there,” Ryan argues, “you’re not going to be big as a whale this time.”
Michael doesn’t reply. Ryan sits up and looks Michael dead in the eye. “I love you.”
Michael shakes his head, but he can’t help but smile, just a little bit. “You just want in my pants.”
“Damn right,” Ryan replies seriously.
Michael almost manages to slap his thigh, but Ryan is up racing towards the sprinklers before Michael can reach him. Michael rolls his eyes playfully but follows after him, and then spends the rest of the afternoon chasing his family through the sprinklers.
The exhaustion finally goes away when Michael hits the twenty weeks mark. They drop the twins off at Grandma Ike’s and then head to Dr Waltz’s office where they find out that their baby his healthy and also a boy. Michael’s kind of frightened to be having another boy to add to the lot, but Ryan’s excited and even starts to come up with names on the way to Ike’s.
“No,” Michael says to Jax, but doesn’t disagree that Jack might be a good name.
The twins also start pre-school and are surprisingly happy about it. They’re only gone for three hours and are barely four blocks away, but they’re so happy to be big boys now that they don’t complain when they have to get up a bit earlier and can’t stay at home with their dads anymore.
Ryan’s the one who has a fit about it.
When he gets home from practice the kids are still at school. He frowns at Michael the first day and mopes around the house as Michael sorts through old baby stuff left over from the twins. They have the money to buy the baby all new stuff, but they’ve always lived below their means and there’s no point in buying all new stuff when they have a lot of hand-me-downs that still fit. Maybe they’ll buy new furniture, maybe.
“When do the twins come home?” Ryan whines.
“We have to pick them up,” Michael explains.
“When’s that?” Ryan asks and flops on the couch. He curls up around Stella who licks his face.
Michael stops sorting through clothes to look at him. “In thirty minutes you big baby.”
Ryan makes a face. “Not my fault I miss them.”
Michael shakes his head and throws a few onsies at him. “Make yourself useful and help me fold these.”
Ryan starts to grumble but folds the clothes like he’s been asked to. He makes them leave ten minutes before they really need to, and spends the entire walk to the pre-school trying his best to subtlety tell Michael to walk faster.
“I’m pregnant you dick,” Michael says. “And it’s fucking hot.”
“Sorry,” Ryan says and falls back to hold Michael’s hand and walk with him.
The twins are happy to see them but don’t want to leave the school. Ryan seems upset about this because when he was a kid he never wanted to stay in school.
On the walk home he grumbles, “Are you sure you didn’t have these kids with Adrian and not me?”
Michael laughs and gives Ryan a kiss on the cheek. “They’re all yours Lochte, but I’m not sure about this one.”
“You slut,” Ryan whispers.
The next two months are easy.
Michael grows much larger, and the twins take more interest in his growing belly. They volunteer to decorate the brand new nursery and after painting three of the walls light grey, Ryan paints the last wall with special blackboard paint and lets the twins draw cartoons all over it to welcome their new baby brother into the family.
Michael begrudgingly agrees to sell their old baby furniture and buy all new furniture when his vagina comes back. It’s less painful this time around, and he knows better than to blame everything on Conor. The twins are confused by the arrival of boobs, but unlike their father soon lose interest in them when they’re told they’re not allowed to touch or play with them.
“That goes for you too,” Michael scolds when Ryan tries to touch them.
Ryan frowns and looks at Michael’s chest sadly. Michael sighs and says, “Maybe if you’re good.”
“You’re the best,” Ryan says and kisses him. Michael just pushes him away and demands that Ryan make him a banana sandwich and maybe, just maybe Michael might let him touch his boobs. Ryan makes the sandwich in record time, and even makes a second one without having to be asked. When the twins are at the neighbor’s house playing with the neighbor’s girls Michael lets Ryan fondle him in exchange for a good fingering.
A week shy of the eight month mark Ryan leaves to go to LA with Conor and everyone else to do a shoot for Speedo. Michael was invited, probably by default, but turned down the offer but not before Ryan had to convince him not to send an angry email to Peter about how it’s not funny to get him invites to photo shoots when he looks like a walrus.
They have a rule that the twins aren’t allowed to spend the night in Michael and Ryan’s bed, but Michael’s seven months pregnant and lonely and stupid Ryan is doing a stupid photo shoot for stupid Speedo.
“Hey guys,” he says to the twins as they brush their teeth. “Do you want to sleep in Daddy’s bed tonight?”
The twins’ eyes get wide. They finish brushing their teeth, grab their favorite blankets, and then head to Michael’s room where they curl up on either side of him. It’s warm with the both of them and their extra blankets they can’t seem to sleep without, so Michael’s forced to kick all of his sheets to the end of the bed.
He feels less lonely with his babies in his bed with him, but it means Michael can’t shift around like he wants. The baby is lying on his bladder and keeps trying to punch Noah -- whose managed to fall asleep with his head on Michael’s belly -- in the face.
Eventually he manages to fall asleep, but he’s woken by someone else crawling into bed. At first Michael thinks it’s one of the dogs, but realizes quickly that it’s his husband. “Ryan?”
Ryan kisses his shoulder. “Why are there babies in our bed?”
“Was lonely,” Michael mumbles, still groggy from sleep. His lisp is thick and it slurs his words, but Ryan just laughs against his skin and lifts Loren out of the way to spoon him. Loren protests in his sleep but Ryan lays him gently against his chest and the toddler calms down.
“You’re home early,” Michael says as he turns to give Ryan a kiss. Noah head slides off his belly and for the first time all night Michael shifts into a comfortable position.
“I didn’t want you to be too lonely,” Ryan explains.
“So sweet of you,” Michael replies and falls back asleep.
When the twins wake up and find that their daddy is home they climb all over him and cover him with kisses.
At eight months Michael begins to visit Dr Waltz ever week. They discuss Michael’s diet, and his exhaustion, and agree that everything is going fine until they start to discuss Michael’s birth plan and Dr Waltz tells him that there’s no C-section this time.
“What do you mean I have to give birth?!” Michael yells.
Dr Waltz looks at him like he’s stupid. “How else is the baby supposed to come out of you?”
“A C-section,” Michael hisses. “I thought I was going to have a C-section”
Dr Waltz sighs. “Mr Phelps-Lochte,” he says, “it’s not possible for you to have a C-section this time, unless there’s an emergency with your labor.”
“I want a C-section,” Michael grumbles.
“If something goes wrong with your labor then you will have a C-section,” Dr Waltz explains, not fazed by Michaels’ temper tantrum. “But if not your labor will be a natural one.”
Michael’s temper tantrum doesn’t stop on the way home.
“People shit themselves Ryan!” Michael yells. “They shit themselves!”
Ryan makes a face. Michael continues, “People shit themselves and things tear. My fucking vagina can tear.”
“Women give birth all the time Mike,” Ryan replies “I’m sure -”
“I’m not a fucking women!” Michael cuts him off with a shout.
“I didn’t say you were,” Ryan hisses back, voice rising in anger. “I’m just saying like you have the body parts and like a C-section is a fucking major surgery so if the doc says it’s not necessary then don’t have it.”
Michael doesn’t reply, just stares angrily out the window. He doesn’t want to push a baby out of the vagina he’s not even supposed to have; he wants the baby, of course, but he wants to be drugged up and not able to feel anything when it comes out of him.
When they arrive home Ryan doesn’t even help him out of the car like he usually does. Noah and Loren are still at pre-school which means there’s nothing to distract them from the shitty fight they had in the car. Michael tries to busy himself with tidying the twins room, but soon gives up when he realizes that he can’t reach the floor to pick up any toys.
As he waddles back into the living room he has to pass Ryan in the hall. Ryan gives him a sheepish look and Michael uses his large stomach to pin him against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” Michael says. “I didn’t mean to get angry at you. I’m just scared, okay?”
“It’s okay,” Ryan sighs and rubs Michael’s stomach. Jack moves around but doesn’t kick. “Why are you scared?”
“I’m going to shit myself,” Michael mumbles. Ryan stifles a laugh. “Ryan it’s not funny, okay? I’m going to shit myself or something’s going to tear or what if they have to cut me?”
“Mike,” Ryan laughs. “That shit’s like normal, okay? No one’s gonna notice.”
“Everyone’s going to be staring at my gaping vagina,” Michael continues.
Ryan scoffs. “Dude, it’s just gonna be me in there and like nurses. They’re use to gaping vaginas.”
“And what about you?” Michael asks. “You’re going to have to look at it too.”
Ryan kisses him. “Dude I was in the room when Zaydin was born. I can handle a gaping vagina.”
Michael makes a face and rolls his eyes. “I want an epidural,” he states. “I want one as soon as I go into labor.”
“I don’t think it works that way,” Ryan says, scrunching his nose. “But I’ll try to get you drugged up as soon as possible.”
It’s December, but it’s still irrationally hot for winter and Michael’s three days overdue. He’s hot, he’s fat, and he can’t see his feet. He wants the baby out, and he wants it out now.
“Maybe he feels extra safe in there,” Ryan tries to reason when Michael bitches about the baby. “It’s a scary world out here MP. He wants to stay in his daddy’s stomach for protection.”
“Get the fuck away from my stomach,” Michael hisses.
Ryan steps away. He gives Michael that dumb puppy face that makes Michael feel like shit, but Ryan should know better by now not to touch him so much. “Fine,” Michael grumbles when Ryan continues to give him that look. “But I want him out Lochte. This is all your fault.”
Ryan must know it’s not in his best interest to point out that Michael was the one who demanded he impregnate him because he doesn’t say anything, just gently rubs Michael’s belly and urges for Jack to make his way into the world. “Daddy’s here,” he tells the baby, “I’m not gonna let anything hurt you, jeah?”
Jack doesn’t reply. He remains still in Michael’s belly where he seems content to never leave.
Michael suffers through another three days of being pregnant before Jack decides he’s ready to come out. The twins are finally in bed-they’ve been refusing to go to bed because they’re afraid Jack might be born when they’re asleep-and Michael’s just finally starting to fall asleep when he pisses himself.
“Fuck!” He curses, pissed that he didn’t even realize that he needed the bathroom.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan asks around his toothbrush.
“I pissed myself,” Michael explains with embarrassment. He’s peed himself only once during this pregnancy, when he really needed to use the bathroom and Ryan wouldn’t make him stop laughing. It had been embarrassing, and luckily they were at home and Ryan didn’t make fun of him for it, just offered to put Michael’s clothes in the washing machine for him.
As Michael climbs off the bed he realizes that he still hasn’t stopped peeing. There’s still some urine trickling down his thigh and he quickly says, “Lochte don’t say shit,” giant ears red from humiliation.
Ryan goes into the bathroom and spits in the sink before he returns to the bedroom. As Michael goes into the bathroom to shed his urine covered pajama bottoms Ryan starts to strip the bed.
“Hey MP,” Ryan says while Michael sits on the toilet, frustrated that he still isn’t done pissing. “This doesn’t smell like urine.”
“Lochte that’s gross,” Michael replies. “Why did you smell the sheets?”
Ryan pops his head into the bathroom. “Because you’re nine months pregnant? MP I think your water just broke.”
Michael looks up. “I - shit.”
Ryan begins to grin like a madman.
Michael doesn’t start to have contractions for another thirty minutes. They hurt, with the pain traveling from his lower back to his front, but they aren’t debilitating. Ryan calls Dr Waltz to let him know that Michael’s in labor, but they still have to wait until the contractions are seven minutes apart, which could take hours. He also calls Ike who, at first, is angry at being woken up at near midnight but soon changes her tune when her son informs her that they’re going to have a baby soon.
Ike comes straight over. There are tears in her eyes, of course, and she gives both of them several kisses on the cheek.
It takes another five hours for Michael to get anywhere close to seven minutes apart. The twins thankfully sleep through the five hours despite the excitement in the air. The dogs are restless and Herman cuddles with Michael on the couch as Michael tries to breathe through the contractions.
When the contractions are finally seven minutes apart Michael gives the boys a kiss on the forehead (he feels bad for Ike because she’s the one who has to deal with them when they wake up and realize Jack is going to be born without them) and then makes Ryan drive as fast as possible to the hospital. His contractions finally really fucking hurt and Michael wants drugs as soon as possible. Ryan has to keep him from chewing the nurse out when she informs him that he’s only three centimeters dilated and won’t get his epidural for another hour.
“I want my drugs Lochte,” Michael hisses through a contraction. He’s sure he’s breaking Ryan’s hand as he holds it but Ryan can deal because this is all his fault. “You either get me my drugs or you get me a C-section.”
“Ow, ow, ow,” Ryan mutters. “Mike you’re crushing my hand.”
“Drugs!” Michael yells. “I. Want. My. Drugs.”
Ryan manages to wiggle his hand free of Michael’s steel grip. “I’m going to go ask the nurse to check you again, okay?”
Michael just glares. The nurse looks scared as she comes into the room but she quickly checks Michael out. “I’m going to get the anesthesiologist.”
“Good idea,” Michael tells her.
Michael remembers how painful the epidural is. He holds Ryan’s hand through the entire process, sure that it’s probably broken by now, and once the mixture of drugs starts to take affect he lies on his side and gently massages feeling back into said hand. “Sorry,” he mutters.
“It’s fine,” Ryan replies and winces.
Ike calls with regular updates on the twins as Michael’s labor proceeds. Noah and Loren are clearly upset that their baby brother is being born without them and they demand to talk to their Daddy, which ever that one is. They don’t want to talk to Ryan when he takes the phone, which clearly hurts his feelings, and they chew Michael’s ear off for even daring to give birth when they aren’t awake. Michael’s able to calm them down and assure them that Jack still hasn’t arrived and when he hangs up the phone he gently kisses Ryan’s forehead.
It takes thirteen hours for Michael to reach the point where he can push. Ryan helps to hold one of his legs up, and it takes Michael nearly an hour to push Jack out. He’s wet and pink when Dr Waltz sets him on Michael’s chest, but he’s screaming loudly and has all his fingers and toes. Michael cries a little bit because his baby is finally here and he’s sort of perfect.
After Michael pushes the placenta out and Dr Waltz fixes his tears the nurses take Jack to the nursery. Ryan goes with the baby to make sure he doesn’t get lost in the hospital and Michael takes a cat nap before they both return.
Jack is swaddled in a yellow blanket Ryan brought from home. He’s kind of tiny at only six pounds four ounces, but he’s still healthy.
“You should probably call your mom,” Michael says as Jack yawns and looks at him with wet brown eyes. Like his brothers he has Ryan’s dominant nose, but other than that he’s all Michael. Unfortunately he has Michael’s large ears, and his dark hair, but he’s still adorable for a newborn.
When Ike arrives with the twins and for some reason Conor and Devon as well the twins are still upset.
“Daddy,” Noah whines. “Why’d you have the baby without us?”
“Sorry baby,” Michael replies.” He wanted to be born while you were asleep.”
The twins seem satisfied with that answer. They argue over who gets to hold Jack first, and because they argue Michael lets Conor hold the baby first. “What are you doing here?”
“Ryan called me,” Conor replies, cradling Jack against his chest and supporting his head. “He didn’t want Ms Ike taking care of the twins and dogs all by herself.”
“And you?” Michael asks, eying Devon with suspicion.
“Dude, Ryan alerted the entire Lochte clan,” Devon replies, taking Jack from Conor to the twins’ displeasures, “I’m surprised Kristin and Megan aren’t here already.”
“Shit,” Michael curses. “I forgot to call my mom.”
“Michael,” Ike scolds. Noah is sitting on her lap and when Devon hands Jack over he looks like he’s about to piss himself in joy. Loren opens his mouth to protest but Ryan scoops him up and hushes him.
Debbie is reasonably pissed that Michael didn’t inform her that he went into labor. “Michael Fred,” she hisses through the phone, “I should have been the first person you called.”
“Sorry,” Michael says into the receiver. “But he’s here now. Did you get the pictures?”
Loren finally gets to hold Jack, and the rest of the Lochte clan make their appearances. When it’s time to go home Loren and Noah throw a fit because they don’t want to leave their new brother but Conor promises to spend the night which makes up for it.
Michael only spends two days in the hospital. The twins visit on both days after pre-school is finished and while they’re in school they draw pictures for Jack. Michael finds them all taped to the fridge when he finally gets home from the hospital.
Loren and Noah insist on showing Jack his new room.
Michael settles into the new rocking chair, still sore, while Ryan holds Jack and the twins show the baby everything in the room. When Ryan puts Jack in his crib to sleep, Noah wraps his tiny hands around the bars and peers in at his brother. “Does he like his room Daddy?”
“Of course he does,” Ryan replies, lifting the four-year-old up to get a better look while his brother crawls onto Michael’s lap.
“How’d you know?” Noah asks. “He can’t even talk!”
“Because daddies know baby talk duh,” Ryan replies dramatically. “He says he loves his room and he loves his brothers even more.”
“Really?” Noah questions, eyes getting wide.
“Jeah,” Ryan nods. “Wanna know a secret?”
Noah nods. Ryan leans in close and says, “I think he likes you guys more than us.”
“No he doesn’t!” Loren says. “He didn’t want to leave Daddy’s belly. He likes Daddy the best.”
“He loves all of us,” Michael quickly corrects.
When it’s time to go to bed Loren chews his lip and asks, “Can we sleep with Jack? Cause… cause he doesn’t have a brother like Noah and he might get lonely.”
Michael doesn’t think it’s a good idea because Jack won’t sleep through the night but it’s a Friday, meaning the twins can sleep in the next morning, and he finally gives in. Ryan sets up a blow up bed in the middle of the floor and makes it comfortable with blankets. The twins fall asleep easily and even somehow manage to sleep through most of the night, but when Jack wakes them up for the third time they give up and return to their own room.
Ryan is given the first two weeks off after Jack is born, and everything this time post-pregnancy is a lot easier. Jack does all the normal newborn things like never sleeping through the night and generally being fussy, but it’s a lot easier because there’s only one of him and his brothers are willing to help. Of course Michael can’t leave them unsupervised, and they don’t want to change a diaper after they realize how gross it is, but they’re willing to hand Michael a diaper and understand that they need to be big boys now that they’re big brothers.
“Are we done making babies?” Ryan asks sleepily one night. Jack is awake against his chest, but he’ll soon tire and fall asleep.
Michael looks him dead in the eye and says, “I want a daughter.”
Ryan groans.