You may have seen my Facebook status: “Gary Geniesse is really trying to keep a positive attitude despite the ridiculous amount of manure he feels is being shoveled his way
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Ed and I went through a bunch of manure as well, we all do. Something that helped me was to pick the top five priorities and focus on them. It meant quitting work and putting my career on hold but it made life so much easier. Pick the five most important things and leave everything else on hold. The fall-out is rough (loss of a salary) but makes your life go smoother.
Another good thing that helped us was schedule a night together. Whatever you do during that night is up in the air but make sure to make time for each other. For some reason Thursday is just easier though not this semester. It's Saturday morning now.
A word of warning, get your oldest to an earlier schedule. School starts at 7:45 and you really need to have child at school by 7:40. Shift your schedule by August.
Having a little one is hell and insured I only had one myself. I resigned a long time ago that I am an older kid mom. I can't get enough of Bug but she is getting to be fun and she is eight.
Wife sounds beaten down. No amount of rest helps without some changes. Send her out the door for a day. If she is like me, she will freak out and panic that she has no idea of what to do. Send her out anyway.
You need to save the perfectionist for something else. There is no perfect with parenting and it only gets harder. Sometimes, you have to accept good enough. Save perfect for work and get by with good enough at home.
Don't talk with food in your mouth is a rule we enforce outside of the home. Bug has all kinds of bad habits in the house. Amazingly, when we made this rule, the problem went away all together. It wasn't cool, it didn't get good or bad attention, and she got bored with the game. If she does do it outside of the house, punishment is harsh. We end the fun and go home.
I don't know if any of this will help you but it helped us. I think you might be doomed because you have two and they will feed off each other. You might separate bed times and eat dinner with the older one to make the talking with food go away.
It gets easier as they get older. 4th year was the worst for us and I was ready to run for the hills.
We are finishing dinner at 7 and heading into bed time routine. She should be in bed at 7:30 and lights out by 8. That half hour is meant for required (homework) reading time. She also gets up at 6 to catch the bus by 6:55 (she's bused across town.)
I also get most of my school work and other must dos done after she goes to bed. I hit bed anywhere from 10-2 depending on needs. Get things done as soon as possible to avoid problems down the road. There is always a level of drop everything and take Bug to the emergency center, doctor, etc. that makes getting things done ASAP. Once recently I stayed up all night because a homework was due and a medical incident occurred over several days. That's filed under good enough because there was an improvement. No waiting till the last night.
In computer geek terms, we practice the Agile Management method at home and it's working.
Ed and I went through a bunch of manure as well, we all do. Something that helped me was to pick the top five priorities and focus on them. It meant quitting work and putting my career on hold but it made life so much easier. Pick the five most important things and leave everything else on hold. The fall-out is rough (loss of a salary) but makes your life go smoother.
Another good thing that helped us was schedule a night together. Whatever you do during that night is up in the air but make sure to make time for each other. For some reason Thursday is just easier though not this semester. It's Saturday morning now.
A word of warning, get your oldest to an earlier schedule. School starts at 7:45 and you really need to have child at school by 7:40. Shift your schedule by August.
Having a little one is hell and insured I only had one myself. I resigned a long time ago that I am an older kid mom. I can't get enough of Bug but she is getting to be fun and she is eight.
Wife sounds beaten down. No amount of rest helps without some changes. Send her out the door for a day. If she is like me, she will freak out and panic that she has no idea of what to do. Send her out anyway.
You need to save the perfectionist for something else. There is no perfect with parenting and it only gets harder. Sometimes, you have to accept good enough. Save perfect for work and get by with good enough at home.
Don't talk with food in your mouth is a rule we enforce outside of the home. Bug has all kinds of bad habits in the house. Amazingly, when we made this rule, the problem went away all together. It wasn't cool, it didn't get good or bad attention, and she got bored with the game. If she does do it outside of the house, punishment is harsh. We end the fun and go home.
I don't know if any of this will help you but it helped us. I think you might be doomed because you have two and they will feed off each other. You might separate bed times and eat dinner with the older one to make the talking with food go away.
It gets easier as they get older. 4th year was the worst for us and I was ready to run for the hills.
We are finishing dinner at 7 and heading into bed time routine. She should be in bed at 7:30 and lights out by 8. That half hour is meant for required (homework) reading time. She also gets up at 6 to catch the bus by 6:55 (she's bused across town.)
I also get most of my school work and other must dos done after she goes to bed. I hit bed anywhere from 10-2 depending on needs. Get things done as soon as possible to avoid problems down the road. There is always a level of drop everything and take Bug to the emergency center, doctor, etc. that makes getting things done ASAP. Once recently I stayed up all night because a homework was due and a medical incident occurred over several days. That's filed under good enough because there was an improvement. No waiting till the last night.
In computer geek terms, we practice the Agile Management method at home and it's working.
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