Things are crazy
When you think about life and death you really never think it would ever happen to you or someone that you know. The truth is in the reality of it. You never know when you're time is up. I was listening to a Billy Joel song called, "Only the good die young." And it made me think of how true that song really is. Anna Nichol Smith died and though people don't really care about her that much we have to realize the significance of her age...she was only 39 years old. She just had a daughter and her son was killed only a couple of months ago. My friend, Grace, then made a blog about marrying for money instead of love. My parents always told me to marry for money first and love second. I wonder if that is what Anna did. Regardless, she had a lot of money from a man she claimed to love. All the fame, all the money didn't really matter because at the end of the day she wasn't happy. Money can buy you all these materialistic things but it can't buy you love or happiness. I try not to worry about money too much because it's just a materialistic thing. I'm a simple girl. For one valentines day one year, I got a keychain with my name on it from a different state and I was thrilled because it was the thought process behind it. He didn't spend alot of money on it but he knew it would make me happy. The little things can make someone so much better. A note left in there make up bag that just says "smile, i love you." Does it get the same point across as diamonds? Of course, even a better one because it's from the heart.
I think we all think about what is going to happen tomorrow instead of focusing on today. Why think about what is going to happen tomorrow if we don't even know if tomorrow is going to happen? That's why I never want to go to bed mad because if I don't wake up in the morning, I don't want the last memory of me is being mad. Sometimes with all the stress in the world and the world that surrounds you some people forget about the important things. Really people there is a bigger world than just the one that surrounds you.
It's easy for me to put on a smile and go on my merry way. But when I lie awake at night and think about my life this past month, I haven't been happy with the way it has been going. I am just completly frustrated with everything and everyone. I guess I just figure by shuting myself down that things would just getting better. Life is stressful and I realize that. I guess I am just learning to cope with that. Everyone's life doesn't revolve around me and I realize that. But then I realized that the people who should know me best should know when something is wrong. I have a man that loves me, great friends who care about me, I'm living in the city that I love...what more can a girl ask for?
I have never been good at expressing my feelings. I just bottle them up inside until I can't take it anymore and then I explode. I'm trying to express my feelings more. Hell, I've cried more this past month than I have in my entire life. I don't think I can handle any more tears, fights, stupid comments, stupid people or another F on a test. I just want the tears and the fights to go away. I can handle the stupid comments, but I'm kinda sick of being walked all over. I'm not going to just sit there and take it anymore...just to let you know.
I think we all think about what is going to happen tomorrow instead of focusing on today. Why think about what is going to happen tomorrow if we don't even know if tomorrow is going to happen? That's why I never want to go to bed mad because if I don't wake up in the morning, I don't want the last memory of me is being mad. Sometimes with all the stress in the world and the world that surrounds you some people forget about the important things. Really people there is a bigger world than just the one that surrounds you.
It's easy for me to put on a smile and go on my merry way. But when I lie awake at night and think about my life this past month, I haven't been happy with the way it has been going. I am just completly frustrated with everything and everyone. I guess I just figure by shuting myself down that things would just getting better. Life is stressful and I realize that. I guess I am just learning to cope with that. Everyone's life doesn't revolve around me and I realize that. But then I realized that the people who should know me best should know when something is wrong. I have a man that loves me, great friends who care about me, I'm living in the city that I love...what more can a girl ask for?
I have never been good at expressing my feelings. I just bottle them up inside until I can't take it anymore and then I explode. I'm trying to express my feelings more. Hell, I've cried more this past month than I have in my entire life. I don't think I can handle any more tears, fights, stupid comments, stupid people or another F on a test. I just want the tears and the fights to go away. I can handle the stupid comments, but I'm kinda sick of being walked all over. I'm not going to just sit there and take it anymore...just to let you know.