TM-239: Hair
I’m going to let you all in on a secret. Be sure to pay attention - it’s not one I’m in the habit of telling. Are you prepared? Are you leaning in close? Then I’ll tell you: my body is covered in blue fur.
Shocking, I know! And certainly nothing anyone could have guessed from the clues available. Really, it’s a very closely-guarded secret. But you see, it seems that someone in this mansion (obviously an exceptionally talented detective) has discerned the secret. Because for some reason, whenever a stray blue hair is discovered, I am the one deemed responsible. Can you imagine? The audacity of some people!
I’ve even written a limerick about my troubles:
There once was a man from Westchester
Who his teammates had started to pester
For his fur - what a pain!
Had clogged up the drain
At least thirty times each semester*
As protest against this inherently unfair and bigoted treatment that is largely based on hearsay, I have decided to forgo showering until my good name is cleared. Should the smell become unbearable, a garden hose may be used for bathing improvisation. But I shall prove, conclusively, that I am not the cause of our copious plumbing troubles.
After all, Kurt Wagner is still a frequent visitor to these hallowed halls.
*Of course, Edward Lear I am not, but I feel my command of meter is more than adequate, even if my ability to warp grammar for my purposes, as evidenced by the second line, may merit an improvement plan.
Shocking, I know! And certainly nothing anyone could have guessed from the clues available. Really, it’s a very closely-guarded secret. But you see, it seems that someone in this mansion (obviously an exceptionally talented detective) has discerned the secret. Because for some reason, whenever a stray blue hair is discovered, I am the one deemed responsible. Can you imagine? The audacity of some people!
I’ve even written a limerick about my troubles:
There once was a man from Westchester
Who his teammates had started to pester
For his fur - what a pain!
Had clogged up the drain
At least thirty times each semester*
As protest against this inherently unfair and bigoted treatment that is largely based on hearsay, I have decided to forgo showering until my good name is cleared. Should the smell become unbearable, a garden hose may be used for bathing improvisation. But I shall prove, conclusively, that I am not the cause of our copious plumbing troubles.
After all, Kurt Wagner is still a frequent visitor to these hallowed halls.
*Of course, Edward Lear I am not, but I feel my command of meter is more than adequate, even if my ability to warp grammar for my purposes, as evidenced by the second line, may merit an improvement plan.