in which lore writes fanfic
'Tis better to be vile than vile esteemed,
When not to be, receives reproach of being,
And the just pleasure lost, which is so deemed,
Not by our feeling, but by others' seeing.
- William Shakespeare (Sonnet 121)
It is said that it's near impossible to tame a cat. While a dog will warm up to just about anyone, a cat's relationship with others is always on his own terms and he tends to be rather mistrustful. It was not difficult for anyone to discern which of the two animals Hayato most resembled, and so it was that he met the news of the music club advisor going on maternity leave with a certain sense of unease. While he was not a member of the club per se, he often spoke with Hanazawa-sensei about various things... like the piano that he most certainly did not enjoy playing, like the student council members that he absolutely did not have a soft spot for, etcetera. Far be it from him to begrudge the woman for having a baby, but the whole thing was rather an inconvenience and it left him feeling somewhat adrift.
On top of that, for some reason completely unfathomable to him, Hanazawa-sensei had asked Hayato to find Mizushima Iku, a student teacher, to be her stand-in while she was on leave. She'd left this task to him via a memo, however, so he hadn't even been able to protest. How could he? ...not that he would, of course. Such displays of emotion and impropriety were completely against his personal code, the boundaries of which were always changing as he saw fit. Still, the very idea seemed rather ridiculous. How could you rely on a student teacher who would only be at Seigetsu temporarily? What if he left before she came back?
Well, no matter. It was none of his affair, after all.
Hayato recalled that Mizushima was Tsukiko's homeroom teacher, so he tried her classroom first, but the moja-megane (so Mizushima had been dubbed by Tsubasa) was nowhere in sight.
"Um, Mizushima-sensei usually hangs out in the infirmary, so you'll probably find him napping there," Tsukiko offered. Hayato resisted the urge to ask why on earth anyone would ever want to "hang out" in a nurse's office, but he'd seen stranger things, he supposed, and kept his mouth tactfully shut. He thanked Tsukiko for the tip, a fake but polite smile as usual on his lips, and made his way towards Hoshizuki-sensei's office.
Walking to the infirmary, Hayato ran through his few thoughts regarding Mizushima-sensei. He'd never been in a class taught by the man, of course, being in a different department, but Mizushima's reputation preceded him. It seemed that nothing good was ever said about him; all that Hayato knew was that Mizushima was notorious for being a pervert who spent even more time harassing Tsukiko (the only female on campus) than he did evading Haruki-sensei and skipping class -- and that was saying something. The idea of having such infamy after such a short period would be amazing to some, Hayato supposed.
The sun was now setting and the brilliant orange sunlight was streaming through the large hallway windows. The Seigetsu buildings had surfaces that were mostly glass, which was an annoyance at times like these. Hayato raised the notebook in his left hand up in front of his face to keep the sun out of his eyes. When had it gotten so late? He quickened his pace.
"Excuse me," he said, a matter of courtesy as he slid open the infirmary door. The white curtains around the one bed in the infirmary were mostly drawn, but the two sides of the curtain did not quite meet, as if the person laying there had been in a careless hurry to get to sleep and didn't even care who saw him. The light from the sunset, streaming in now that the door was open, penetrated the gap in the curtains much to the apparent dismay of the bed's occupant, as he began to groan and mutter some curses.
"What, Haruki-sensei, you found me already?" Mizushima yawned. "…wait, you're too quiet to be Haruki-sensei," he whined this next part, his voice muffled behind the pillow he was now desperately trying to wrap around his head to block out the light.
Though he prided himself on being fair, there are always certain traits that annoy a person and Hayato absolutely despised two types of people: those who whine, and those who try to shirk their duties. Unfortunately for him, Mizushima was both. Still, Hayato could hardly threaten a teacher with his infamous chalkboard torture, so he tried to maintain civility. "No, I'm not Haruki-sensei, but--"
"Well then shoo already. Don't you know that you're interrupting my hard-earned beauty sleep?" Mizushima interrupted, still sounding muffled. When Hayato did not immediately comply, he added, "Come on, shoo!" Apparently he was now trying to block Hayato out as much as he was the light.
Hayato's lips curled into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "…but Haruki-sensei is just down the hall." The distinct sound of rustling fabric was heard as Mizushima bolted upright, but Hayato continued, "If you won't comply, I suppose I'll have no choice but to speak with Haruki-sensei about your whereabouts, Mizushima-sensei~"
There was a distinct sound of more yawning, then of joints cracking, and then of glasses being swiped off of a side table. The curtains were yanked open all the way, suddenly, and Mizushima gracefully climbed out of bed. Then one step, two steps, three steps and he was standing right in front of Hayato. Out of the people he knew, Hayato was considered to be fairly tall; perhaps he was not as tall as Tsubasa, but Hayato was only three inches shorter than the student council treasurer. Mizushima, however, was even taller. "Heh~ I'd heard that Tsukiko-chan was the only girl at Seigetsu, but perhaps I was mistaken?" His tone indicated that this was not at all the case, he was only being facetious. "You're quite a beauty, too, Kotori-chan," Mizushima leered, looking down at Hayato through his glasses.
The fake smile reappeared. "It's 'Aozora', sensei." Hayato spoke his surname most emphatically, locking the other man out. While he didn't mind Tsubasa's nickname for him so much, this one definitely rubbed him the wrong way. He wouldn't dignify the rest of Mizushima's sentence with a response.
"Uh-huh," Mizushima replied carelessly. It was clear he had no intention of calling Hayato by his actual name. Looking bored, the blue-haired teacher sat down in Hoshizuki-sensei's chair, his ankles crossed. "So? You have my attention now. What did you want from me?"
"Hanazawa-sensei's going on maternity leave and she wants you to be the substitute music club advisor until she gets back," Hayato replied, quickly getting to the point. The sooner he left this place, the better.
"Uwaaaah, that sounds troublesome." Mizushima's expression then changed to one of mischievousness. His eyes then narrowed into cat-like slits as he tilted his head, peering at Hayato. "Well, then at least I might see your pretty face every day." Hayato had heard that one of the first things Mizushima had said to his class was that he had no interest in talking with boys or being nice to them -- these impolite words were meant merely to provoke him, and Hayato wouldn't fall for it.
"I regret to inform Mizushima-sensei that I am not a member of the music club."
"Eh~ And yet you're delivering a message on behalf of the club's advisor? How obedient. ...Or maybe you're just stupid?"
"I am at least above a person who comes to school to practice sexual harassment instead of doing his job."
Mizushima frowned exaggeratedly, feigning great offense. "…you are not very cute, Kotori-chan."
"I am a man, after all, sensei." Hayato smirked. "Well, that was all I needed to say. If you'll excuse me…" He turned on his heel and left the infirmary quickly, sliding the door shut behind him not without somewhat of a feeling of triumph.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hayato now figured that he'd washed his hands completely of Mizushima-sensei and after a few days went by without incident, he had nearly forgotten completely about their meeting in the infirmary. It would turn out, however, that Mizushima would have the last laugh and it was a great surprise to Hayato when Tsukiko told him that Haruki-sensei wished to speak with him. Hayato had never met the man before, though he knew that he was Tsukiko's homeroom teacher. What on earth could Haruki-sensei possibly want with him?
He'd soon get his answer. Upon arriving at Haruki-sensei's desk in the faculty office, Hayato was met with a short, orange-haired man with his hands in the gesture of prayer. "Please, Aozora-kun! I'm begging you, please join the music club!" Haruki-sensei cried.
Startled, Hayato's face momentarily showed an expression of shock. Of all the things he was expecting, this was certainly one of the last on the list. He quickly recovered and said in as calm a voice as he could manage, "Excuse me?"
"Ah, sorry sorry. I'm sure this is a bolt out of the blue for you…"
("An understatement," Hayato thought.)
"…but you see, Mizushima told me that he's temporarily in charge of the club. I'm sure you know as well as anyone how much he's been skipping out on his duties as a student teacher, and I was sorta worried about him advising a club, of all things." Haruki rambled on and on about Mizushima's "potential" and how he just needed some "motivation". Hayato felt his eyes start to glaze over and wondered when the little man would get to the point. "…so he told me that if you would just join the music club, he'd promise to do both duties properly."
The last statement brought Hayato crashing back down to earth. "…I'm sorry?"
"Well, Mizushima says he doesn't know any of the students in the music club and it would be a 'great help' if you could join and help him out, you see," Haruki explained. "I know you're busy with student council and all, but maybe you could just join temporarily to pacify him?"
"But I barely know Mizushima-sensei and it would hardly--"
"Really? Somehow, that wasn't the impression I got when he was talking about you…" Haruki interrupted, looking thoughtful. What on earth had that horrible man said about him to Haruki-sensei, Hayato wondered. Haruki's expression then changed to a very somber one. "I'm seriously begging you here, Aozora-kun. He's driving me crazy and surely you participating in music club for a little while is a small price to pay for his cooperation? You'd be really doing me a favor here."
Hayato suppressed a sigh. There was no getting out of this situation, at least without losing face, so he reluctantly agreed, being sure to emphasize that he would have to quit as soon as possible. He made up excuses about not having enough time, not being interested in music, half truths. Excusing himself after Haruki's lengthy, exaggerated show of gratefulness, Hayato left the office and immediately came face to face with his current least favorite person in the hallway. "You look unhappy, Kotori-chan~" Mizushima smirked, not even pretending not to know the reason.
"That would be because a certain irresponsible teacher is insisting on adding to my list of duties," Hayato let out his trapped sigh from earlier. Saving face with this teacher would be a complete waste of time.
"Well," Mizushima grinned as he turned to leave, "I'll see you in the music clubroom tomorrow." He walked away gaily. Hayato half-expected the man to start singing a happy tune and skip down the hallway.
Hayato could feel a headache coming on.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The problem with a music club as opposed to a school orchestra was that there was no quality control. While it was one thing gathering people who liked music and allowing them to discuss their passions, it was another thing altogether to allow people who were complete beginners to "perform" on stage in front of an unsuspecting audience. Hayato had never really thought about it before, but the notion occurred to him after a mere week of having to sit in on some of the club practice sessions. (thankfully, Haruki-sensei had negotiated on his behalf and Hayato did not have to go to every single meeting) Mizushima had caught him trying to put in his earplugs at a later date and confiscated them, unfortunately.
"Don't you think that's a little disrespectful, Kotori-chan?" Mizushima practically purred, snatching the earplugs out of Hayato's hands. He did notice, however, that however awfully off-key the music was, Mizushima-sensei always listened quietly without showing a hint of discomfort. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it, so Hayato began to wonder whether the man himself was tone-deaf. What a choice for music club advisor.
Fed up one day, Hayato called Mizushima out of the room and asked, "Do you really think they're ready for a concert? It's only a few weeks away!" The date was set for around Mizushima's last day of teaching. It had been set for a later date, but the club members wanted to thank him for helping out.
"Don't be so arrogant, Kotori-chan. You didn't even want to join in, right? Don't complain when you've twisted my original request so much already."
"They already have a pianist!"
"Heh~ I suppose that's true."
"You didn't answer my question, Mizushima-sensei."
"Hm? Oh, yes. They're pretty awful-sounding." Hayato was completely at a loss for words. So Mizushima knew that the music club wasn't ready to perform and he was just holding back out of politeness? What was he thinking? "It's just that…" Mizushima interrupted Hayato's thoughts with a line spoken so softly that Hayato could barely hear him.
"Eh?"
"It's just that… I envy those who can put all of their heart and soul into something like that without expecting anything in return. You can't demand anything of music, yet they come here day after day. There's no way that they themselves don't know that they sound horrible, so what can you or I possibly say to them when we're only spectators?"
Hayato found that he had absolutely nothing to say in response to that, so he stomped off rather unhappily. Mizushima made no move to stop him, watching him leave with a look of amusement, though his eyes were curiously a little sad.
It wasn't merely that he hadn't had a comeback that irritated him, however, but also... what Mizushima said had touched him a little. The heretofore rather empty cavity on the left side of his chest hurt.
Just a little.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For reasons even he didn't fully understand, Hayato found himself wanting to play the piano even more than usual. After school, when the buildings were mostly empty and abandoned, he could find a quiet moment of solitude. Hayato made his way to his usual piano room and walked over to the piano, lifted the lid, sat down.
"So Kotori-chan really can sing, too, hmm?"
Somehow, Hayato wasn't even surprised that Mizushima-sensei had found him. "Did you need something, sensei?" he asked, voice carefully devoid of tell-tale emotions.
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't."
"You're speaking in riddles again."
"I thought you smart types liked solving puzzles."
"Goodness, Mizushima-sensei, when did you decide I was a 'smart type'? That aside, are you implying that you yourself are a puzzle? One that I'd be even remotely interested in solving, at that? I figured you were more subtle than this."
"If I'm too subtle, then you won't get it because you're stupid."
"...so which am I?"
Mizushima smirked. "The jury's still out on that one."
Hayato's heart -- for that's what it had to be -- started to ache again, and he cursed the organ for it. Why get so worked up over some idiotic student teacher he barely knew? An idiotic student teacher who was a horrible flirt and a liar, at that. Hayato rose from his seat and moved for the door. "If you didn't need anything from me, I'll be leavin--"
"That's no good, Kotori-chan."
In one swift motion, before Hayato could even register what was going on, Mizushima grabbed him by the hand. He forcibly pulled and there was an all-too-brief sensation of lips touching. There was another smirk, something like a "see you later", and then Hayato was alone in the piano room, wondering if he'd imagined the whole thing up.
"If I'm too subtle, then you won't get it because you're stupid."
He was running now, like a madman, through the halls of the school, his footsteps dull thuds echoing in time with his quickening heartbeat. Where had that man disappeared to?
Hayato collided, suddenly, with Tsukiko, who let out a cry of surprise as she tumbled to the ground. "H-hayato-kun?"
"Tsukiko-san! I'm sorry, errr." His usual composure was gone, his mind a storm of confusion. Suddenly he blurted out, "I thought Mizushima-sensei was always hitting on you!" Had it been a trick? Just a way to kill time? A way for a bitter man, angry at the world, to laugh at someone even lower than himself? Where was the one truth hidden amongst the lies?
Tsukiko blushed. "N-no, not at all! Everyone has been spreading such rumors? In fact..." she trailed off.
"In fact...?"
"He was always asking me about you, Hayato-kun. From the beginning."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Mizushima-sensei always had a hateful look on his face. He was always sad, even when he was smiling. Hayato had realized this after only two or three days of being forced to attend club meetings with him. When had it started, his fascination with this man? It wasn't something so stupid as love at first sight -- Hayato had detested him, even forgotten about him.
But somehow, just over the course of a few weeks, this unsolvable riddle of a person had barricaded himself inside the left side of Hayato's chest where no one else had managed to be before. Just because he looked sad and envied the music club members. It was inconceivable.
It was easy for Hayato to find Mizushima, a few days later, in the infirmary. He was asleep again, dreaming about things Hayato probably couldn't even imagine. Just as Hayato was about to wake him, Mizushima whispered, "Nee-san..." and Hayato's stubborn courage died away.
How much could he presume to know about Mizushima-sensei?
He took a few quiet steps backwards and tried to leave the way he'd come, but Mizushima stirred. "Hayato?" He was sitting upright now and stretched a little.
Hayato froze after hearing his name spoken for the first time by this person. "I didn't mean to wake you." he said mechanically.
"You've been avoiding me, Kotori-chan."
"No. No, I haven't." If anything, he'd been searching for him, his eyes, his whole body drawn to the man like a moth to flame.
"You're right, I just wanted to complain about something."
"..."
"You don't pity me, do you?"
"I don't think a blackguard like you deserves any pity, least of all mine."
"Heh~ A 'blackguard', huh? Sounds like you have me all figured out."
"Not in the least."
"Well, don't let that stop you." A laugh, then "Come here." His voice was more serious than Hayato ever considered possible. Mizushima's eyes darkened and he licked his lips a little too slowly.
"No, I..." There was still so much he didn't know, so much he doubted. His heart, just found, could not handle being pushed so far.
"Hayato. I won't tell you again. Come."
Realizing suddenly that his heart simply would have no choice, Hayato stepped out of his personal code completely. He obeyed.
『TITLE』 the cat and the bird and the piano
『RATING』 idk PG?
『CHARACTERS』 mizushima iku + aozora hayato
『WORDCOUNT』 3,329
『NOTES』 oh my god why do I ship this? PLOTHOLES EVERYWHERE. IDEK.
『SUMMARY』 mizushima is a puzzle none have been able to solve and hayato's not sure he wants to try. in the end, which of them is the cat and which of them the bird?