I'm back
Okay, so it's been ages since I've updated. No doubt those of you reading this have figured that I have abandoned my journal. If anybody's reading this at all. But no, I've just been...lazy perhaps? busy? I have thought many times about writing in here again but have refrained from it because there's too much to update about. But screw that. Screw whatever you've missed about my life. That's the past, let's talk about the present, about the future, about the abstract.
I'm living back with my parents again. Lost my bedroom to my sister and am now sleeping on a bed in my step-dad's office. At least I get to sleep in a bed again.
Work's going well. Dave's really warmed up to me and it's highly unlikely that I should be fired. I have threading the film down, next I'll learn to break down and build up the films. How exciting.
Job perk: smoking pot while watching a private viewing of Nightmare Before Christmas.
I really want to get my hair cut. And I'm going to. But once again, I want to do something different, something unique. But I can't dye my hair any random color or have it too crazy because of work. And I can't handle anything too high-mainenance. But I still want something different. I want a hairstylist that won't be afraid to make suggestions or get creative. I need someone who won't fear that I'll be dissatisfied. If I don't like it, I'll just buzz my head. It doesn't look very good on me, but I did it for cross country all four years of highschool, and am willing to do it again if necessary.
I may dye it jet black.
Even now that I've gotten over my social paranoia, there are still a few times when I wish that I had a solid group of friends. People that not only could I call up and hang out with, but who would call me up and such. But I am a drifter, always have been, and always will. I need to not just accept this but embrace it.
I'm pleasantly surprised that the high school friends I've kept most in touch with are not the people who were my greatest friends, but the people whom I cared most about. Jameson and Matt to be specific, and I've been getting in touch with Jeremy now too. Joe as well, we'll always be friends even though we will continually be more and more distant.
Today I played Ultimate Frisbee with a group of people I used to think hated me. Damn perceptions.
So often when I think of my life, I think of the future, of the things I'll do and the achievements that will be mine. I forget about today. I forget that right now is about more than saving money to go traveling, it's about living. I'm doing much much better at living that I used to, I'm on the right track, I just need to keep down it.
Eventually, my step-dad will finish building his office in the garage and the room will be all mine. I've been laying it out in my head; painting the walls so they look like brick, arranging my bed, desk, bookcase; planting an indoor tree in a beat-up metal garbage can, proper placement of a manaquin, the artwork on the walls, a large bulliten board where I will put up my photographs, a map of the world with pushpins where my penpals live, yarn connecting the pins to their pictures.
I've been thinking about changing my clothing. Too many people say I look emo. I know I shouldn't change my clothes because of what other people think, but the truth is, I don't like a lot of what I wear, I just wear it for convenience. Considering making some of my own clothes again. Once again, I'm a drifter, I have no scene, no style to conform to but what I create on my own. The challenge is finding clothing that expresses me while still allows me to drift between very different subcultures.
I could keep writing, but I shall stop, and will write more later. If you've read this, please post something, so I can know you're there.
I'm living back with my parents again. Lost my bedroom to my sister and am now sleeping on a bed in my step-dad's office. At least I get to sleep in a bed again.
Work's going well. Dave's really warmed up to me and it's highly unlikely that I should be fired. I have threading the film down, next I'll learn to break down and build up the films. How exciting.
Job perk: smoking pot while watching a private viewing of Nightmare Before Christmas.
I really want to get my hair cut. And I'm going to. But once again, I want to do something different, something unique. But I can't dye my hair any random color or have it too crazy because of work. And I can't handle anything too high-mainenance. But I still want something different. I want a hairstylist that won't be afraid to make suggestions or get creative. I need someone who won't fear that I'll be dissatisfied. If I don't like it, I'll just buzz my head. It doesn't look very good on me, but I did it for cross country all four years of highschool, and am willing to do it again if necessary.
I may dye it jet black.
Even now that I've gotten over my social paranoia, there are still a few times when I wish that I had a solid group of friends. People that not only could I call up and hang out with, but who would call me up and such. But I am a drifter, always have been, and always will. I need to not just accept this but embrace it.
I'm pleasantly surprised that the high school friends I've kept most in touch with are not the people who were my greatest friends, but the people whom I cared most about. Jameson and Matt to be specific, and I've been getting in touch with Jeremy now too. Joe as well, we'll always be friends even though we will continually be more and more distant.
Today I played Ultimate Frisbee with a group of people I used to think hated me. Damn perceptions.
So often when I think of my life, I think of the future, of the things I'll do and the achievements that will be mine. I forget about today. I forget that right now is about more than saving money to go traveling, it's about living. I'm doing much much better at living that I used to, I'm on the right track, I just need to keep down it.
Eventually, my step-dad will finish building his office in the garage and the room will be all mine. I've been laying it out in my head; painting the walls so they look like brick, arranging my bed, desk, bookcase; planting an indoor tree in a beat-up metal garbage can, proper placement of a manaquin, the artwork on the walls, a large bulliten board where I will put up my photographs, a map of the world with pushpins where my penpals live, yarn connecting the pins to their pictures.
I've been thinking about changing my clothing. Too many people say I look emo. I know I shouldn't change my clothes because of what other people think, but the truth is, I don't like a lot of what I wear, I just wear it for convenience. Considering making some of my own clothes again. Once again, I'm a drifter, I have no scene, no style to conform to but what I create on my own. The challenge is finding clothing that expresses me while still allows me to drift between very different subcultures.
I could keep writing, but I shall stop, and will write more later. If you've read this, please post something, so I can know you're there.