2 in one day?
So, sometimes we find motivation is the craziest of areas. Sometimes its just to prove people wrong, or sometimes it is to prove yourself right. Sometimes its because we're pissed about something and sometimes its because thigns are so good you just wanna keep them rolling.
Right now, I'm the pissed off guy. Not like "mad" mad. But, rather just looking at things and pissed that they actually are happening. Right now grandpa claims he is on his last legs and he is doing everything possible to push himself over the edge. Not a day goes by... no, wait.... not a conversation goes by that i don't hear about how much better off he'd be not on this world. Fuck, what do you say to that? How can you actually take those words and process them? How is it that every time I hear a bump I spring to my feet to check it out, to make sure everything is ok - and when i get there, its the same thing. "I'm done, kid."
Shit, that sucks. Fuck, that sucks. God Damn, that sucks. Get the idea? I'm scared to death here. And I can't help but let it drive me a little crazy. Maybe that's part of the reason I've really let this past month get to me. No matter where I go I cannot escape from one thought to the next. I keep wondering what's going to happen when that day comes. When he does leave us. This is the worst thought I think anyone can have, but I wonder if I will get looked at as someone who should have done more.
Shit's getting to me. Maybe, for the time being, I need to tell you all "I'm done, kid."
Right now, I'm the pissed off guy. Not like "mad" mad. But, rather just looking at things and pissed that they actually are happening. Right now grandpa claims he is on his last legs and he is doing everything possible to push himself over the edge. Not a day goes by... no, wait.... not a conversation goes by that i don't hear about how much better off he'd be not on this world. Fuck, what do you say to that? How can you actually take those words and process them? How is it that every time I hear a bump I spring to my feet to check it out, to make sure everything is ok - and when i get there, its the same thing. "I'm done, kid."
Shit, that sucks. Fuck, that sucks. God Damn, that sucks. Get the idea? I'm scared to death here. And I can't help but let it drive me a little crazy. Maybe that's part of the reason I've really let this past month get to me. No matter where I go I cannot escape from one thought to the next. I keep wondering what's going to happen when that day comes. When he does leave us. This is the worst thought I think anyone can have, but I wonder if I will get looked at as someone who should have done more.
Shit's getting to me. Maybe, for the time being, I need to tell you all "I'm done, kid."