[fic] Street of Dreams 1/1 (Band of Brothers, gen, Guarnere-centric)
So, the authors of Berlin by Christmas have been revealed. I was right, Leigh did write "Dead Men and Dreamers"! Yay for me, I win. ^_~
(Just the title alerted me, darling. It was a Leigh title. Also, no one writes Lipton like you do-- no one could actually crawl inside Speirs scary brain. You have slain me with the beauty of this story, honestly. ( Read more... )
(Just the title alerted me, darling. It was a Leigh title. Also, no one writes Lipton like you do-- no one could actually crawl inside Speirs scary brain. You have slain me with the beauty of this story, honestly. ( Read more... )
I'm also friending you, if you don't mind, for many reasons, including the fact that I think Leigh will kill me if I don't.
Let me first say that I read this fic very quickly before running off to Christmas with my father's family. I loved every sentence and spent the whole day internally glowing from it. You did a marvelous job.
One thing that threw me, and for a second made me think Leigh had written it (partly because you are both such magnificent authors) was that it had all my weaknesses to the point where it felt like whoever had written it must have known me. I think I initially commented that it almost felt like something I would write - I can't avoid backstory, and this fic is rich in that, in flushing out the character beyond what you see on screen and it had many of the same cameos I would include (particularly Perco and Lieb). But I knew it wasn't me because I am not nearly so adept at imagery (well, and that I knew I didn't write it....).
I read it a second time that night, when I had more time. And a third time later. Each time I like it better - and I did eventually realize you must have written it. I really do love this fic - every word. I have a soft spot for Bill, even if at times he rubs me wrong, he fascinates me and you wrote such an amazing Bill here. Someone above mentioned it wasn't just mini-Bill but an honest young Bill that you wrote, and that is hard to do and you did it so well.
Okay, on to more specific comments (and of course I read the ones Leigh left and I'm gonna try not to say all the same things - but she stole some of my words!):
"Wasn' gonna do nothin'," he grins, mouth full.
I loved the whole opening paragraph. I loved the imagery, the "careless monkeys" description, the way you so deftly painted the beautiful scene, making me see it all. I love the way you describe Bill's hands - I think maybe Leigh said it was making him aware of the dream - and I love the way you describe his thoughts with the orange. In the Depression food is precious, and an orange should not be wasted, but the temptation for trouble...
Regardless, as much as I loved the paragraph, it was this line that made me know I would love the fic. I'm the biggest sucker/stickler for things being in character and this sentence is so perfect. It's not mini-Bill, it's young Bill. I can picture it. And it's so him. *innocent, I swear*. I can see the mask angelic look he puts on.
Bill kicks the table to see how long it takes for the librarian to notice.
I love this line, this description, this image. I had only regained my composure from the joy of the line above when this one hit. So perfect!!! I dunno exactly why, but this sentence fits him like a glove.
I like the cities. I get the feeling that Bill is content to stay in Philly, his brother eager to see the world. And yet Bill will see more of it and his brother will die on the sands of Italy, which he is now pointing out to Bill. sigh.
he's looking at the sanctuary of St. Andrew's Catholic Church, at Adam's First Communion, when he spilled just a little of the wine-- Christ's blood-- down the front of his pristine white shirt.
I love this image. It put chills all up and down my spine. This foreshadowing that no one could have expected. *shivers* Such a pwerful image.
That's a lie. That's not what happened. The truth is that Bill Guarnere never dreamed at all.
Survivors guilt. So Bill. What he maybe should have done but didn't, because really, he couldn't know. But that twist you put in the story is heart-breaking. He feels like he should know, should react, but how....
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I would've. :) And I approve.
(LIPTON LOVES LUZ BEST. See? It's even more alliterative.)
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Ah, but "Perco" and "Luz" are both much funnier sounding names than "Lipton" which is just a brand of tea. Thus, they obiously belong together.
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