(no subject)
Just had a long, drawn out telephone fight with my mom. The arguement started out on a topic totally unrelated to the fact I'm a lesbian, but ended with her telling me that I need to "realize it's no one's business", "stop wearing it like a badge", and "stop being so political".
...
I hope I don't shove my sexuality in people's faces. I'm open about it if people ask, but I don't automatically tell everyone I meet that I'm a dyke. Maybe I'm a little more open about it on my LJ, 'cause I feel people should know what they're getting in to if they friend me, but... she really hurt my feelings, saying that. She complained that if I see something on TV that I feel is being unfair to gays and lesbians, I get upset. Isn't that a natural reaction? I have the same problem with racial and religious slurs. She acts like I use it as an excuse to feel persecuted, or something.
She swears up, down and sideways that she's okay with my sexuality. But I've never brought a girlfriend home, and she's never been in a situation where she really has to face up to the fact. Maybe I'm taking words said in anger too personally, but... you know, I'd love it if my being a lesbian wasn't a big deal. I really would. But the world, the country we live in, makes it a big deal. A lot of people, when they find out, act as if I've decieved them in some way, as if I've been "passing". I'd love it if my sexuality was no one's business, but the government comes into my bedroom and makes it their business.
She said she didn't want to have a political debate with me-- I said that just because some larger issues came into play didn't mean that we were getting poltical.
"I can't save the world," she told me, "so I don't want to think about it."
Which I really think is what it boils down to.
God, I just. I want to lay down and cry, but there's supposed to be cable repair man coming soon to fix my DVR.
-Meredith
...
I hope I don't shove my sexuality in people's faces. I'm open about it if people ask, but I don't automatically tell everyone I meet that I'm a dyke. Maybe I'm a little more open about it on my LJ, 'cause I feel people should know what they're getting in to if they friend me, but... she really hurt my feelings, saying that. She complained that if I see something on TV that I feel is being unfair to gays and lesbians, I get upset. Isn't that a natural reaction? I have the same problem with racial and religious slurs. She acts like I use it as an excuse to feel persecuted, or something.
She swears up, down and sideways that she's okay with my sexuality. But I've never brought a girlfriend home, and she's never been in a situation where she really has to face up to the fact. Maybe I'm taking words said in anger too personally, but... you know, I'd love it if my being a lesbian wasn't a big deal. I really would. But the world, the country we live in, makes it a big deal. A lot of people, when they find out, act as if I've decieved them in some way, as if I've been "passing". I'd love it if my sexuality was no one's business, but the government comes into my bedroom and makes it their business.
She said she didn't want to have a political debate with me-- I said that just because some larger issues came into play didn't mean that we were getting poltical.
"I can't save the world," she told me, "so I don't want to think about it."
Which I really think is what it boils down to.
God, I just. I want to lay down and cry, but there's supposed to be cable repair man coming soon to fix my DVR.
-Meredith