HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREATEST GIRL IN THE WORLD
Guys. It is. Okay, technically it is an hour and nineteen minutes AFTER Liz's birthday EST, but fuck that shit. As long as I am awake, it's still goten0040 's birthday. EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIZ. DO IT NOW.
Did you do it? DID YOU? I'LL KNOW IF YOU'RE LYING. YOU. RIGHT THERE. I SEE YOUR SHIFTY EYES.
Five reasons to say Happy Birthday to Liz:
1. She is fantastic. She has a GORGEOUS voice, she is ninety thousand kinds of sweet, and she is very, very pretty.
2. She is an AMAZING writer. Seriously. She inspires and awes me constantly with everything she does. She's the best co-author any girl could ever have.
3. She writes Kames, which she pretty much owns the market on. If she didn't, WHAT WOULD WE HAVE TO READ? WHAT, I ASK YOU? THE WORLD WOULD SPIRAL INTO CHAOS. DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN? DO YOU???
IF YOU DO I DISAPPROVE OF EVERYTHING YOU REPRESENT.
4. It's not just her birthday, it's her twenty first birthday. And none of us are there to force shots down her throat, as is tradition I was mostly sober on my twenty first birthday. It is now my mission in life to live vicariously through others by making everyone I know puke on theirs. Liz is probably ecstatic I am not present, actually. Meaning that y'all need to make her remember this for the rest of her life. PRESSURE.
5. If you don't say Happy Birthday to people, it kind of makes you a douchebag. No lie. Every time you refuse to wish someone good things on their birthday, a unicorn dies in a flutter of sparkles and rainbows and DEATH. You don't want unicorns to die, do you? No you do not. SO GO WISH LIZ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Liz, I hope you had an awesome time. Like this:
And this:
And I hope you tell everybody this:
Did you do it? DID YOU? I'LL KNOW IF YOU'RE LYING. YOU. RIGHT THERE. I SEE YOUR SHIFTY EYES.
Five reasons to say Happy Birthday to Liz:
1. She is fantastic. She has a GORGEOUS voice, she is ninety thousand kinds of sweet, and she is very, very pretty.
2. She is an AMAZING writer. Seriously. She inspires and awes me constantly with everything she does. She's the best co-author any girl could ever have.
3. She writes Kames, which she pretty much owns the market on. If she didn't, WHAT WOULD WE HAVE TO READ? WHAT, I ASK YOU? THE WORLD WOULD SPIRAL INTO CHAOS. DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN? DO YOU???
IF YOU DO I DISAPPROVE OF EVERYTHING YOU REPRESENT.
4. It's not just her birthday, it's her twenty first birthday. And none of us are there to force shots down her throat, as is tradition I was mostly sober on my twenty first birthday. It is now my mission in life to live vicariously through others by making everyone I know puke on theirs. Liz is probably ecstatic I am not present, actually. Meaning that y'all need to make her remember this for the rest of her life. PRESSURE.
5. If you don't say Happy Birthday to people, it kind of makes you a douchebag. No lie. Every time you refuse to wish someone good things on their birthday, a unicorn dies in a flutter of sparkles and rainbows and DEATH. You don't want unicorns to die, do you? No you do not. SO GO WISH LIZ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
Liz, I hope you had an awesome time. Like this:
And this:
And I hope you tell everybody this: