Shut Your Eyes: Pimpage, Playlists, and Procrastination
You might have noticed that there hasn’t been a new chapter of Shut Your Eyes recently. MY FAULT. Um. I’m working on it. But since I seem to have expressing myself with words at the current moment, I’m going to tell the entire story. Through song!
No, wait, why are you running away? Come back.
Okay, so those of you who stuck around for the third paragraph of this post win. Stuff. I don’t know, I’ll write you a drabble. When I learn how to string words into sentences again. Anyway, I might as well say rn that this post is only endorsed by one half of the crack writing team over at Our Secret Space, and that would be the half whose college nickname was Crackie. What’s going to go down is that I have carefully compiled my SYE playlist, which is full of songs that I feel represent the story in its entirety.
And by that I mean songs that I listen to at work that end up inspiring me to move my writing along. not working rn, but still This is not a fanmix - my epically awesome writing buddy goten0040 is making one of those once the end rolls around, and it’s going to be amazing and feature her song (which, if you haven’t listened to, you need to. IMMEDIATELY) as well as other songs featured in the story. That will be all official and downloadable.
I mean…I suppose I could make this into a mix, but I have moral compunctions against uploading music. And they revolve around the fact that I work for the government and would rather not get caught. But if any of you really MUST HAVE a song, I'm going to try to hunt down links that other people put up. I cannot guarantee quality and/or whether anyone's going to get super pissed off at me for doing so. If a link doesn't work or sucks or something, or for those that don't have links because I couldn't find them- I can probably email the song to you. Mayhaps?
Anyway, we’ve got seventeen songs, and they are in order, miracle of all miracles. There are no spoilers for the chapters that have not been written. Maybe atmospherically, but the whole fic goes to the dark place ninety percent of the time, so you probably should not be surprised. Also, music-wise, we sort of go from semi-well known to obscure to I-heard-this-on-Z100. Or K-Roq. I do not discriminate between coasts.
...Wait, what do you mean there are places between NYC and LA? LIES.
There will be lyrics and youtube clips and lame, vague explanations behind the cut.
YOU ACTUALLY CLICKED? OMG YOU ACTUALLY CLICKED. SO.
The first and last songs are actually crack!songs. I don't particularly love them, but they're kind of mainstream James-esque prologue/epilogue type things that amused me. The rest are serious and Kendall's POV. CONSIDER THAT A WARNING.
1.
James - Prologue. Total crack, but come on, it applies goddamnit. Also it makes me giggle because I'm sadistic.
Stand Still, Look Pretty by The Wreckers *
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at myself
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty
2.
Kendall takes a leave of absence from the Wild.
You Are A Tourist by Death Cab for Cutie *
And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And you find your destination with so many places to call home
'Cause when you find yourself the villain
In the story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions
Are in need of redemptions
3.
Kendall sees James again.
Wide Eyes by Local Natives *
Oh some evil this way comes
They told me how they fear it
Now they're placing it on their tongues
Oh to see it with my own eyes
Oh to see it with my own eyes
4.
Los Angeles, Kendall's general feelings of helplessness. (Note: the Youtube video isn't one hundred percent great b/c this song doesn't do so well live).
To Be A Dancer (I Am Alive) by Lovers *
It's all stagnancy in this town
It's all pageantry and monopoly in this town
It's all hierarchy in this town
It's all self-defeat, there's no poetry in this town
I needed an answer
I needed a song
I wanna be a dancer
When the music comes on
5.
Kendall and James tentatively start hanging out again. No lie. This is my Kendall and James theme song for this story.
Keep Me Warm by Ida Maria *
Believe me I can play games 'cause I know all the rules
Believe me I can pretend because I've studied the masks
But I don't want to play a single piece of theater for you
I don't want to stage a single piece
Oh you, you keep me warm
You, you keep me warm
All your cigarettes and cup of coffee
It keeps me warm
6.
Kendall gets more deeply involved with James's world.
Undertow by Warpaint *
Better not to be the first one diving in
Though you caught me and you know why
You breathe in the deepest part of the water
What's the matter? You hurt yourself?
Open your eyes and there was someone else
Now I've got you in the undertow
Now I've got you in the undertow
Why you wanna blame me for your troubles?
Ah ah ah you better learn your lesson yourself
Nobody ever has to know what's on my mind tonight
7.
James gives Kendall some TLC. With his mouth. On his penis. Also, feelings.
Spanish Sahara by Foals *
So goddamn this boiling space
Let's banish the horror
The place that you'd wanna
Leave the horror here
Forget the horror here
Leave it all down here
It's future rust and it's future dust
I'm the fury in your head
I'm the fury in your bed
I'm the ghost in the back of your head
'Cause I am
8.
Joseph and Chris and FEELINGS. Um, so. I ADORE this song, but it's not widely known, so there are no links. The band's first album was released, god, last month? And there's only the one live live video which is kind of crap quality, but Alisa Xayalith has a fucking fantastic voice, and I love her. And, um. Yeah. This song is abrasive and rough and it captures so much emotion and if you want it let me know and I will email it to you. OR BETTER YET JUST GET THE ENTIRE ALBUM. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH ABOUT THE NAKED & FAMOUS.
Jilted Lovers by The Naked & Famous
I'm not hearing
Any other way
Shut my eyes
Head rests on my hands
Quietly
Hiding once again
Jilted lovers
Hiding in the unrest
How do we
Survive to make amends
Fight the lies
Voices in my head
Multiply
I am such a mess
9.
Very much about Kendall trying to figure out if what he's doing is right or wrong; with James, with Logan. With everyone. I think it's also kind of a little fuck you to Chris and Joseph, because honestly this song and Jilted Lovers can be interchanged with how they fit in the order of the story.
Ghosts by Ladytron *
Made you up and split from a thousand enemies
Now I see you from the corner
Clock strikes and I know you will be drinking alone
There's a ghost in me
Who wants to say I'm sorry
Doesn't mean I'm sorry
10.
SEX. IT HAPPENS.
T by Glasser *
Let us consciously decide
That we will be each other's guides
To navigate the room
Oh...
Let me breathe for you
Let me breathe for you
Let me breathe for you
11.
STUFF. WHAT? I CANNOT TELL YOU. THAT WOULD BE A SPOILER. But ugh, live videos. NO DESIRE to see Passion Pit live.
Eyes As Candles by Passion Pit *
Why do I always need to need you when you're fleeting?
Where do you go when I'm around?
What have I done, what have I lost that's so defeating?
And have the nerve to wear a crown?
Oh Na na na na na na hey, hey
I've waited and waited for someone to take it
Don't fight it, don't bother, an inch for another
Don't listen, don't hear them, they're in this together
I've learned well, now hear me, there's much to be fearing
I'm used to your absence, your faceless distraction
I've painted your patterns but found them attractive
12.
STUFF.
Three Wishes by The Pierces *
We'd be so less fragile
If we're made from metal
And our hearts from iron
And our minds from steel
And if we built an army full of tender bodies
Could we love each other
Would we stop to feel?
And you want three wishes
One to fly the heavens
One to swim like fishes
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
13.
Also, do not know how two Warpaint songs ended up on here. Also, could not find the song on it's own, but I did find it on an awesome Never Let Me Go fanmix. So you could always check out that post here. Never Let Me Go is an amazing movie. Or make me send you the link.
Lissie's Heart Murmur by Warpaint
I went looking, went searching under the water
Seeking and searching
'Til you pulled me under
To where you are
To where we build our house
And so we sink so far down
That we can't go back now
14.
STUFF. No link, but I happen to know of a great TSN fanmix by burning_pile that has the song plus Second Chances, which was half the inspiration for A Song You'll Regret. It also has other great music that I'm too brain dead to think of off the top of my head rn (this post is taking eons).
Good Intentions by Paper Route
I want to be your heart that breaks
I want to be your hiding place
I want to be your one solution
I just got no execution
15.
STUFF.
Cry When You Get Older by Robyn *
Young boy in the traffic light
What your daddy never told you
Is love hurts when you do it right
You can cry when you get older
16.
My other cracky song. Which isn't really cracky but happens to be on my playlist, despite the fact that I would never actually use it in any fanmix because it is so mainstream that I imagine everyone already has it. Awwww, The Fray, my babies, I remember when I first heard Cable Car in the Student Union at Boston University.
You Found Me by The Fray *
Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by a telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of first and Amistad
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me
♥ ♥ ♥
OH WAIT DID YOU THINK WE WERE DONE?
NOT YET.
phantompearl suggested a song in one of my old posts that fits perfectly with the story. Suggestions are awesome- if anyone else has any, I will document them here.
Also, Alexz Johnson is one of my favorite female singers, SO.
L.A. Made Me by Alexz Johnson *
Tell me tell me why - are you in it for the dough?
Tell me tell me why - are you selling out your soul?
Tell me tell me why my baby...
Again, I just want to stress that all of this is my own personal Shut Your Eyes writing playlist, and is in no way like, the official mix for SYE.
There will be one by Liz, eventually, and it will be awesome. Like SYE. Which is here. And you should read it. Because now that I wasted two hours of my life doing this, I can actually focus on finishing the next chapter. O_O
AND LISTEN TO LIZ'S AWESOME SONG FOR FUCK'S SAKE. IT IS FANTASTIC. SHE IS SO TALENTED.
No, wait, why are you running away? Come back.
Okay, so those of you who stuck around for the third paragraph of this post win. Stuff. I don’t know, I’ll write you a drabble. When I learn how to string words into sentences again. Anyway, I might as well say rn that this post is only endorsed by one half of the crack writing team over at Our Secret Space, and that would be the half whose college nickname was Crackie. What’s going to go down is that I have carefully compiled my SYE playlist, which is full of songs that I feel represent the story in its entirety.
And by that I mean songs that I listen to at work that end up inspiring me to move my writing along. not working rn, but still This is not a fanmix - my epically awesome writing buddy goten0040 is making one of those once the end rolls around, and it’s going to be amazing and feature her song (which, if you haven’t listened to, you need to. IMMEDIATELY) as well as other songs featured in the story. That will be all official and downloadable.
I mean…I suppose I could make this into a mix, but I have moral compunctions against uploading music. And they revolve around the fact that I work for the government and would rather not get caught. But if any of you really MUST HAVE a song, I'm going to try to hunt down links that other people put up. I cannot guarantee quality and/or whether anyone's going to get super pissed off at me for doing so. If a link doesn't work or sucks or something, or for those that don't have links because I couldn't find them- I can probably email the song to you. Mayhaps?
Anyway, we’ve got seventeen songs, and they are in order, miracle of all miracles. There are no spoilers for the chapters that have not been written. Maybe atmospherically, but the whole fic goes to the dark place ninety percent of the time, so you probably should not be surprised. Also, music-wise, we sort of go from semi-well known to obscure to I-heard-this-on-Z100. Or K-Roq. I do not discriminate between coasts.
...Wait, what do you mean there are places between NYC and LA? LIES.
There will be lyrics and youtube clips and lame, vague explanations behind the cut.
YOU ACTUALLY CLICKED? OMG YOU ACTUALLY CLICKED. SO.
The first and last songs are actually crack!songs. I don't particularly love them, but they're kind of mainstream James-esque prologue/epilogue type things that amused me. The rest are serious and Kendall's POV. CONSIDER THAT A WARNING.
1.
James - Prologue. Total crack, but come on, it applies goddamnit. Also it makes me giggle because I'm sadistic.
Stand Still, Look Pretty by The Wreckers *
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even want to look at myself
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty
Click to view2.
Kendall takes a leave of absence from the Wild.
You Are A Tourist by Death Cab for Cutie *
And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And you find your destination with so many places to call home
'Cause when you find yourself the villain
In the story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions
Are in need of redemptions
3.
Kendall sees James again.
Wide Eyes by Local Natives *
Oh some evil this way comes
They told me how they fear it
Now they're placing it on their tongues
Oh to see it with my own eyes
Oh to see it with my own eyes
4.
Los Angeles, Kendall's general feelings of helplessness. (Note: the Youtube video isn't one hundred percent great b/c this song doesn't do so well live).
To Be A Dancer (I Am Alive) by Lovers *
It's all stagnancy in this town
It's all pageantry and monopoly in this town
It's all hierarchy in this town
It's all self-defeat, there's no poetry in this town
I needed an answer
I needed a song
I wanna be a dancer
When the music comes on
5.
Kendall and James tentatively start hanging out again. No lie. This is my Kendall and James theme song for this story.
Keep Me Warm by Ida Maria *
Believe me I can play games 'cause I know all the rules
Believe me I can pretend because I've studied the masks
But I don't want to play a single piece of theater for you
I don't want to stage a single piece
Oh you, you keep me warm
You, you keep me warm
All your cigarettes and cup of coffee
It keeps me warm
6.
Kendall gets more deeply involved with James's world.
Undertow by Warpaint *
Better not to be the first one diving in
Though you caught me and you know why
You breathe in the deepest part of the water
What's the matter? You hurt yourself?
Open your eyes and there was someone else
Now I've got you in the undertow
Now I've got you in the undertow
Why you wanna blame me for your troubles?
Ah ah ah you better learn your lesson yourself
Nobody ever has to know what's on my mind tonight
7.
James gives Kendall some TLC. With his mouth. On his penis. Also, feelings.
Spanish Sahara by Foals *
So goddamn this boiling space
Let's banish the horror
The place that you'd wanna
Leave the horror here
Forget the horror here
Leave it all down here
It's future rust and it's future dust
I'm the fury in your head
I'm the fury in your bed
I'm the ghost in the back of your head
'Cause I am
8.
Joseph and Chris and FEELINGS. Um, so. I ADORE this song, but it's not widely known, so there are no links. The band's first album was released, god, last month? And there's only the one live live video which is kind of crap quality, but Alisa Xayalith has a fucking fantastic voice, and I love her. And, um. Yeah. This song is abrasive and rough and it captures so much emotion and if you want it let me know and I will email it to you. OR BETTER YET JUST GET THE ENTIRE ALBUM. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH ABOUT THE NAKED & FAMOUS.
Jilted Lovers by The Naked & Famous
I'm not hearing
Any other way
Shut my eyes
Head rests on my hands
Quietly
Hiding once again
Jilted lovers
Hiding in the unrest
How do we
Survive to make amends
Fight the lies
Voices in my head
Multiply
I am such a mess
9.
Very much about Kendall trying to figure out if what he's doing is right or wrong; with James, with Logan. With everyone. I think it's also kind of a little fuck you to Chris and Joseph, because honestly this song and Jilted Lovers can be interchanged with how they fit in the order of the story.
Ghosts by Ladytron *
Made you up and split from a thousand enemies
Now I see you from the corner
Clock strikes and I know you will be drinking alone
There's a ghost in me
Who wants to say I'm sorry
Doesn't mean I'm sorry
10.
SEX. IT HAPPENS.
T by Glasser *
Let us consciously decide
That we will be each other's guides
To navigate the room
Oh...
Let me breathe for you
Let me breathe for you
Let me breathe for you
11.
STUFF. WHAT? I CANNOT TELL YOU. THAT WOULD BE A SPOILER. But ugh, live videos. NO DESIRE to see Passion Pit live.
Eyes As Candles by Passion Pit *
Why do I always need to need you when you're fleeting?
Where do you go when I'm around?
What have I done, what have I lost that's so defeating?
And have the nerve to wear a crown?
Oh Na na na na na na hey, hey
I've waited and waited for someone to take it
Don't fight it, don't bother, an inch for another
Don't listen, don't hear them, they're in this together
I've learned well, now hear me, there's much to be fearing
I'm used to your absence, your faceless distraction
I've painted your patterns but found them attractive
12.
STUFF.
Three Wishes by The Pierces *
We'd be so less fragile
If we're made from metal
And our hearts from iron
And our minds from steel
And if we built an army full of tender bodies
Could we love each other
Would we stop to feel?
And you want three wishes
One to fly the heavens
One to swim like fishes
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
13.
Also, do not know how two Warpaint songs ended up on here. Also, could not find the song on it's own, but I did find it on an awesome Never Let Me Go fanmix. So you could always check out that post here. Never Let Me Go is an amazing movie. Or make me send you the link.
Lissie's Heart Murmur by Warpaint
I went looking, went searching under the water
Seeking and searching
'Til you pulled me under
To where you are
To where we build our house
And so we sink so far down
That we can't go back now
14.
STUFF. No link, but I happen to know of a great TSN fanmix by burning_pile that has the song plus Second Chances, which was half the inspiration for A Song You'll Regret. It also has other great music that I'm too brain dead to think of off the top of my head rn (this post is taking eons).
Good Intentions by Paper Route
I want to be your heart that breaks
I want to be your hiding place
I want to be your one solution
I just got no execution
15.
STUFF.
Cry When You Get Older by Robyn *
Young boy in the traffic light
What your daddy never told you
Is love hurts when you do it right
You can cry when you get older
16.
My other cracky song. Which isn't really cracky but happens to be on my playlist, despite the fact that I would never actually use it in any fanmix because it is so mainstream that I imagine everyone already has it. Awwww, The Fray, my babies, I remember when I first heard Cable Car in the Student Union at Boston University.
You Found Me by The Fray *
Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by a telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of first and Amistad
Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me
♥ ♥ ♥
OH WAIT DID YOU THINK WE WERE DONE?
NOT YET.
phantompearl suggested a song in one of my old posts that fits perfectly with the story. Suggestions are awesome- if anyone else has any, I will document them here.
Also, Alexz Johnson is one of my favorite female singers, SO.
L.A. Made Me by Alexz Johnson *
Tell me tell me why - are you in it for the dough?
Tell me tell me why - are you selling out your soul?
Tell me tell me why my baby...
Again, I just want to stress that all of this is my own personal Shut Your Eyes writing playlist, and is in no way like, the official mix for SYE.
There will be one by Liz, eventually, and it will be awesome. Like SYE. Which is here. And you should read it. Because now that I wasted two hours of my life doing this, I can actually focus on finishing the next chapter. O_O
AND LISTEN TO LIZ'S AWESOME SONG FOR FUCK'S SAKE. IT IS FANTASTIC. SHE IS SO TALENTED.