Why, god, why?
What have I done to deserve this life?
Things with Mom are worse then we all thought or knew. She's been weak and having trouble getting up and stuff. The family has been coming over trying to convince her to go to the hospital and stuff. Lisa came down to see her and came out of the room telling us to call 9-1-1 for her. We did and they took her to the hospital. I stayed home. I can not deal with hospitals and haven't stepped foot in one for maybe ten years or so.
They called with updates and stuff and the family was at the hospital. The news is grim and not good at all. She's dying and not going to make it. The cancer spread to her other organs.
Why us? It was just nine years that Grandmom died and next month it will be nine for Dad.
At my age I should be worrying about boyfriends, college and work, not making decisions on putting one's mother on a respirator and other grim details that will have to be made.
And I still haven't cried over any of this. I just can't. Hell, I never ever cried when Dad died.
Stefanie isn't taking this well at all being that she's closest to Mom. Lisa said to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid like try to kill herself. I don't think she would since she's too chicken for the most part but I don't know what she would do if she got desperate enough.
Why can't I just have one miricle in my fucked up, cheated life?!
What's going to happen to us? Who knows if we'll be able to keep the house, pay bills, etc. Will we have to move? We'll probably have to get second jobs or better paying jobs, drivers licenses, and other stuff. stuff that never a major thought until a few hours ago.
Life has just taken a turn down a dark, route that I don't want to naviage. I'd rather relive last year with the old house and stuff, then deal with this.
Why? Why? Why?
Things with Mom are worse then we all thought or knew. She's been weak and having trouble getting up and stuff. The family has been coming over trying to convince her to go to the hospital and stuff. Lisa came down to see her and came out of the room telling us to call 9-1-1 for her. We did and they took her to the hospital. I stayed home. I can not deal with hospitals and haven't stepped foot in one for maybe ten years or so.
They called with updates and stuff and the family was at the hospital. The news is grim and not good at all. She's dying and not going to make it. The cancer spread to her other organs.
Why us? It was just nine years that Grandmom died and next month it will be nine for Dad.
At my age I should be worrying about boyfriends, college and work, not making decisions on putting one's mother on a respirator and other grim details that will have to be made.
And I still haven't cried over any of this. I just can't. Hell, I never ever cried when Dad died.
Stefanie isn't taking this well at all being that she's closest to Mom. Lisa said to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid like try to kill herself. I don't think she would since she's too chicken for the most part but I don't know what she would do if she got desperate enough.
Why can't I just have one miricle in my fucked up, cheated life?!
What's going to happen to us? Who knows if we'll be able to keep the house, pay bills, etc. Will we have to move? We'll probably have to get second jobs or better paying jobs, drivers licenses, and other stuff. stuff that never a major thought until a few hours ago.
Life has just taken a turn down a dark, route that I don't want to naviage. I'd rather relive last year with the old house and stuff, then deal with this.
Why? Why? Why?