Wonder Woman: The Animated Movie
It was pretty good, I suppose, though I'm still not sure that Kerri Russell was the best choice to voice Diana. Her voice makes Diana seem young, which is appropriate for the movie/timeframe, though feels lacking.
That said, let's get to the review...
The opening battle, hell most of the fighting, was a thing of beauty. I loved that they really put an effort into setting up Artemis, Persephone, and Alexa through their actions then and there. Though I do admit they sort of overplayed things with Alexa. Sure she's a bookworm though to basically put her as an Amazon who can't fight worth a damn, whut? They all train to fight so she should be able to at least be half decent and if she was really that bad well... even in a warrior society there are those who need to do other things, why send someone who can't stand on their own two feet into battle(even if it's some big important battle, it only causes problems like seen there where others had to compensate for her inadequacy)? Wtf.
Another wtf was the whole Ares/Hippolyta thing and the implication that Thrax(?) is their son. The bedroom line Ares delivers starts it and the 'prayer for a child, one not created through an unholy union'(which kind of implies rape) line when talking about Diana's "birth" makes it seem true. Ugh. I mean really? REALLY? I sort of had this face 'D:' for a moment though the movie moves rather quickly though as the boy is soon killed, Ares is locked away, the Amazons are hooked up with their island, and Diana is created.
Blah, blah, blah. We get a feel for the characters and where they stand on the isolation policy. Hippolyta's all 'screw men', though flip-flops a lot on this since it's implied that she's the one who revealed the island to Steve to allow him to land. Artemis agrees, Themyscira rocks. Alexa is all for getting of the piece of rock they've been 'stuck' on. Diana is curious and young.
Moving along again we suddenly have Steve Trevor on the island. He doesn't do himself any favors as he comes across as an utter pig in nearly every scene he's in, which plays for a cheap laugh, only owning up to it when he's accidently touching the lasso later on. Eventually Diana catches him with a kick to the crotch. Diana does a bit of 'dirty fighting' in this movie. She pulls Artemis's hair, kicks Steve in the crotch, and hits Deimos in the head with a high heel. Anyway they go through the whole selection process, Diana sneaks in and wins.
While that happens Persephone, the main guard of Ares, backstabs(literally) Alexa and makes off with Ares because, surprise! They're in wuv. And that is absolutely all the character development we have for Persephone. She's the one who betrayed her sisters to get it on with the god of war. Why? Well she later tells Hippolyta it's because 'we are women' and this means they need men and children(well, she says 'families' though I think that was stupid since family is what you make it and the Amazons are shown as being like one big family). Essentially this gives us our Big Bad who Diana must face while she's dropping off Steve.
So off to NY they go! And what's the first thing Diana does in Man's World? Well teach a little girl to beat up some little boys with a stick of course! Okay, I laughed and it was a cute/good moment("Go, unleash hell!') though srsly? SRSLY? Some random kids alone in Central Park at night? Where the fuck are their parents? Huh? What did you think I was going to complain about? Oh right, peace emissary teaching kids to beat one another up. Idk, it worked for the cultural differences and was a small shot at making her into the role model for young girls, I guess. Mostly it was cute in a 'oh fuck' kind of way.
So then we head to Steve's work to try and track Ares, were we run into Etta Candy. Oh gods, cringe in horror at what they've done to Etta. Not only is she the same paper cut as every other woman in the movie but she's just... Ugh. She's some flirty secretary type who throws herself at Steve, forgive me, 'Stevie' and shoots dirty looks at the perceived 'threat'(re: Diana). I can accept everything and anything else but that was just... come on! Oi...
So stepping back slowly from that room and closing the door behind us so as to never be reminded of this travesty again we find that apparently the best way to find Ares is just to wait out his destruction until it becomes obvious where he is. Which, tbqh, is nearly all of the actually looking part they do. Given a moment of downtime Steve suggests they take in some sights. Which, of course, means he takes her to a bar and tries to get her drunk. What a gentleman. Outdrinking an Amazon however proves to be too much of a challenge for him. Eventually he falls on his arse in a drunken stupor while trying to kiss her. Realizing how long this is getting let's move things along a bit. She beats up some thugs, she beats up Deimos, she fails to stop Ares from opening the door to the underworld and ends up in the hospital.
Okay. Not too bad. I mean the fight with Ares was forced to be quick though I don't get why he just lets injured!Diana and Steve go, not that I'd want him to have killed them. It's just, even if he is eager to get moving, you'd think finishing off your enemy is a worthwhile enough thing to give pause for. So he gets freed of the bracer things binding his power and sets out to screw over the world.
So, skipping the speech at the hospital that I don't wouldn't want to touch with a fourty-nine and a half foot pole, there's the big final battle in which Ares turns into an anime villian. Crazy long white hair/ridiculous embellishments on the outfit/growing bigger with power? He's a shonen manga reject alright. I couldn't take the fight seriously from then on out though I do admit that Diana preformed wonderfully in the end of it and I LOVED the whole zombie thing. It was a little fucked but it fed the zombie fan in me who's been getting neglected.
In all it was a good end, ignoring the Diana/Steve thing, and the tiny bit of Cheetah at the end was rather fantastic.
*looks up* Okay, I really didn't mean to do that. I suck at doing reviews without ummm... 'reviewing'. The short...
Thing I loved the most- Artemis fucking rocked.
Thing I loathed the most- Etta Candy wannabe.
Thing I dwelled on that makes no fucking sense to dwell on because it's just some stupid small detail- (read on)
The saddles. Now call me crazy, it's true, but I never really noticed how Amazons are almost always shown as using western saddles until this movie. That style of saddle doesn't make any sense for them. First of all it came out of the Americas, who got horses from Europe way after the Amazons were established, so there's no way of them having it. There's even no reason for them to make such a saddle unless all of them were shown using a lasso all the time or working with cattle on horseback, the horn is just a pointless feature. It's just really weird. It would have made more sense for them to either go bareback(which given the lack of bridle half the time could have worked at least for the part with Diana going on a casual ride) or one of these, I'd even accept an english saddle since it's kind of like that only with stirrups and a smooth front.
I have no clue why I felt the need to address that, sorry. It's really something that pops up in most American movies(animated or not), our history with the western telling us that everyone rides with a saddle with a horn.
In apology, here's some screencaps from the first part of the movie...
((only included because of my saddle tangent))
Awwwww.
To sum it up it's an entertaining movie which I will be forcing others I know to watch. Some of it could have used a good deal of improvement though it wasn't an overly facepalm inducing thing.