[As the feed comes on, you are greeted by a horrible
screeching and various other cawing. An elderly hand reaches down to pick up the Guide and as it turns, you are greeted with a golden bearded face who looks very distraught and tired. He fumbles with the guide for a few moments and, considering technology escapes him because he is old, he forgets to turn off the record function.]
[He stands and sets the Guide back on a side table, giving the viewer a good look at the sources of the screeching. It appears two velociraptors, one in a tube top, the other wearing a very appropriate wife beater, are currently having an argument. Hohenheim sits in a chair between them and proceeds to look awkward and miserable.]
Ah...you see. I'm not exactly the best person to come to in regards to--
[The female velociraptor screeches angrily at the male, who then in turn screeches at Hohenheim]
Well, that's all well and good. I think it's perfectly within your right to have a say in how many children you ha--
[More angry screeching.]
Yes, but...I understand that she might eat the babies once they hatch but that shouldn't--
[The female screeches loudly and leaps up onto the desk threateningly.]
I don't think insulting my mother will--
[The female just turns and ignores Hohenheim, instead focusing her attention back onto the male, screeching horribly. The two continue to "argue."]
Ah...if you'll both excuse me, I need a drink of water. [He stands.]
I'll be right back.
[And with that, Hohenheim wanders out of the room and...doesn't. Come back. The feed times out about fifteen minutes later as the Velociraptors patiently wait for absolutely nothing.]
(OOC: Yes Hohenheim is a planned parenthood counselor. Yes, I know I'm a horrible person.)