[video]
[The feed comes on to show Barry sitting at a table. His tone suggests that he's talking about something serious.]
Now, many of you may have noticed someone dying the other day. Since it wasn't me, this leads me to believe that there is a second serial killer onboard.
This presents an obvious problem. [His tone becomes absolutely furious.] If there's a serial killer replacing me, then WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH THESE BUSINESS CARDS!?
[He pulls a smll card out of his poncho and thrusts it towards the camera. It reads:]
Bartholomew Z. Choppah
Room 3-13
Serial Killer
Exotic Dancer
Marriage Councilor
[There is a picture of him giving a thumbs up in the upper left corner.]
But this goes beyond all that! I happened to like the guy who died... I don't relly know his name, but I sent him a bag of meat for Christmas! WE HAD A MEAT BOND! Is this the kind of world where one serial killer can kill the meat-brother of another arbitrarily!?
[He slams his fist upon the table.]
ANARCHY AND MADNESS!!
[He calms down slightly.]
So. To the new serial killer on this heap: please step forward so we can negotiate a system of some kind. Oh, and so I can reap my terrible vengeance for your mindless slaying of my meat brother by... I don't know, chopping off your big toe or something.
[He reaches to turn off the feed but hesitates.]
Oh, since there's a serial killer going around, we may experience a slight decline in the population here. So just a heads up, someone should probably get to work on reproducing to make up for that. That's it. Bye.