[The feed turns on with Italy waving happily at the camera]
Hello, everybody!!!
So, so, so, um a friend of mine came on board recently! His name is Germany!
Anyway, anyway, he's kind of bad at talking to women. People too, but mostly women… well actually mostly everybody, but that's not what's important right now.
I decided that it'd be a good idea to try and help him out! So here you go, ladies!!!
Oh, whoops! I meant this one!
See? Isn't he awesome?
So anybody who's interested in him should let me know so I can introduce you!