012 || THAT'S THE NEWS AND I AM OUTTA HERE || VIDEO
[If you're tuning in to Channel Five this evening, this is what you see:]
I dunno. To me, it's sorta creepy...
Yeah, I don't remember signin' up for this sorta surveillance.
You can't sign up for anything, idiot. You're a shadow clone.
Shuddap, so are you.
[There is Naruto. And Naruto. And Naruto. Three Narutos are sitting at a news desk talking with each other. A fourth Naruto leans into the frame and rests some glasses of water on the desk for the other three before disappearing. The conversation continues.]
And what's the deal with the bright red, y'know? How can anybody be stealthy wearin' a color like that? How come nobody ever sees this guy?
No kiddin'. Dunno 'bout you guys, but I'm gonna make sure nobody gets in my room on Christmas Eve.
You'll probably be gone on Christmas, idiot. You're a shadow clone.
Shuddap, so are you.
[One of the Narutos puts his hand to his ear and seems to be listening through an earpiece.]
Uhh, right. Now we go to Naruto the Ninja with the nightly weather report.
[The view cuts over to an individual dressed completely in black like a real ninja and holding a sword. He doesn't look happy as he stares at the camera. An image of the five-day weather outlook on the ship appears behind him.]
... It's a spaceship. Whaddaya guys expect. Geez. It's gonna be warm, y'know? Now back to you, Naruto.
[The feed doesn't move for a long time, just showing the ninja.]
Pssst... say the line.
Oh, right. [Ninja!Naruto rolls his eyes and swipes with the sword.] CUT back to you... goddam--[BLEEP]
[The view quickly shifts back to the news desk with all the Narutos looking off screen before one speaks up.]
... We'll be back after a few short messages from our sponsors.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
I dunno. To me, it's sorta creepy...
Yeah, I don't remember signin' up for this sorta surveillance.
You can't sign up for anything, idiot. You're a shadow clone.
Shuddap, so are you.
[There is Naruto. And Naruto. And Naruto. Three Narutos are sitting at a news desk talking with each other. A fourth Naruto leans into the frame and rests some glasses of water on the desk for the other three before disappearing. The conversation continues.]
And what's the deal with the bright red, y'know? How can anybody be stealthy wearin' a color like that? How come nobody ever sees this guy?
No kiddin'. Dunno 'bout you guys, but I'm gonna make sure nobody gets in my room on Christmas Eve.
You'll probably be gone on Christmas, idiot. You're a shadow clone.
Shuddap, so are you.
[One of the Narutos puts his hand to his ear and seems to be listening through an earpiece.]
Uhh, right. Now we go to Naruto the Ninja with the nightly weather report.
[The view cuts over to an individual dressed completely in black like a real ninja and holding a sword. He doesn't look happy as he stares at the camera. An image of the five-day weather outlook on the ship appears behind him.]
... It's a spaceship. Whaddaya guys expect. Geez. It's gonna be warm, y'know? Now back to you, Naruto.
[The feed doesn't move for a long time, just showing the ninja.]
Pssst... say the line.
Oh, right. [Ninja!Naruto rolls his eyes and swipes with the sword.] CUT back to you... goddam--[BLEEP]
[The view quickly shifts back to the news desk with all the Narutos looking off screen before one speaks up.]
... We'll be back after a few short messages from our sponsors.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]