(no subject)
So fuck you
And your untouchable face
And fuck you
For existing in the first place.
the 19 Management party was monday. 19 years of 19 Management. a bit of a bittersweet reunion for me, i'd say. first time i've seen the likes of Will, Zoe, and Darius in what seems like ages. sure, the last i'd seen Will was at his birthday when we'd gone out on a pisser and ended up back at the flat falling asleep on either side of Holly Valance, but before then it'd been months since, and again and again. it was also nice to see Kelly and Tamyra and Christina, all lined up in their prettiest outfits and brightest smiles. it made me wonder how close that lot are, and back to how much i miss Zoe and D. how much i miss Will. like i said, it was nice to see everyone, though.
the actual show was really easy to show who is favoured and who isn't in this company. the rate of priority lined up from least to most. my set was second up only after Paul Hardcastle (whoever the cock he is). then after me is Sarah, Michelle, Sam & Mark, Rachel, Kelly, Emma, Victoria, and Will. intermission followed by the mighty 8, who were missing Rochelle so they really were S Club 7 for a brief moment in time. pity that, since Rochelle is my favourite. there was a set with The Big Blue after that, where Zoe, Clay, Ryan Malcolm, and Darius all did a song each, followed by their closing number with a duet by Will and Emma. Then Cathy Dennis, then Annie Lennox. aside from the big band set, that's how things are around here. me at the bottom rung.
it just feels ridiculous that i'm even singing still, at least under watch of Simon Fuller. i resent him much like many other pop acts and stars do, for their own individual reasons, but all drawing back to one thing. his greed. if it were up to me i'd have left 19 by now in pursuit of a backing that actually gives a toss about me and what i'm trying to do. if it were up to me i'd be working with Robbie like he's said time and again he would love to do. he could be my manager and i wouldn't have to worry about things being unfair. quite frankly he's one of the only people in the industry i fully trust not to fuck me over.
fucking hell. i've been unfair to him and it's due time i do something to change that.
And your untouchable face
And fuck you
For existing in the first place.
the 19 Management party was monday. 19 years of 19 Management. a bit of a bittersweet reunion for me, i'd say. first time i've seen the likes of Will, Zoe, and Darius in what seems like ages. sure, the last i'd seen Will was at his birthday when we'd gone out on a pisser and ended up back at the flat falling asleep on either side of Holly Valance, but before then it'd been months since, and again and again. it was also nice to see Kelly and Tamyra and Christina, all lined up in their prettiest outfits and brightest smiles. it made me wonder how close that lot are, and back to how much i miss Zoe and D. how much i miss Will. like i said, it was nice to see everyone, though.
the actual show was really easy to show who is favoured and who isn't in this company. the rate of priority lined up from least to most. my set was second up only after Paul Hardcastle (whoever the cock he is). then after me is Sarah, Michelle, Sam & Mark, Rachel, Kelly, Emma, Victoria, and Will. intermission followed by the mighty 8, who were missing Rochelle so they really were S Club 7 for a brief moment in time. pity that, since Rochelle is my favourite. there was a set with The Big Blue after that, where Zoe, Clay, Ryan Malcolm, and Darius all did a song each, followed by their closing number with a duet by Will and Emma. Then Cathy Dennis, then Annie Lennox. aside from the big band set, that's how things are around here. me at the bottom rung.
it just feels ridiculous that i'm even singing still, at least under watch of Simon Fuller. i resent him much like many other pop acts and stars do, for their own individual reasons, but all drawing back to one thing. his greed. if it were up to me i'd have left 19 by now in pursuit of a backing that actually gives a toss about me and what i'm trying to do. if it were up to me i'd be working with Robbie like he's said time and again he would love to do. he could be my manager and i wouldn't have to worry about things being unfair. quite frankly he's one of the only people in the industry i fully trust not to fuck me over.
fucking hell. i've been unfair to him and it's due time i do something to change that.