Banned Books Week begins today.
That time of the year again - Banned Books Week - to reflect on the attempts to keep ideas away from people via banning, challenging or removing books.
And it's time once again for me to post my Banned Books Week theme song. Names in parentheses are the authors of those particular verses; verses by me are un-parenthese'd. Feel free to add your own verses (based on true accounts)
Remember, folks: It's just as bad to ban books for "noble" reasons. If certain books make you uneasy because of their racist / misogynist / anti-semitic / homophobic content (Huckleberry Finn / Taming of the Shrew / Mein Kampf / It's Okay to Wait), then talk about them, balance them with other material, discover that there's other great books out there besides the ones written by dead white straight men and add those to the curricula. The solution to unwanted free speech is MORE free speech, not less.
BANNED BOOKS WEEK
Lyrics: Jane Mailander & Co.
Music: "MacNamara's Band"
(Unfortunately, these are all true stories. Other people's contributions are noted with bylines in parentheses. Feel free to add your own verses -- just make sure they are all true stories of censorship and attempted censorship. I also ask that the last two verses - the Huck Finn, and the "last week in September" verses - remain the last two verses.)
Oh, my name is Holden Caulfield, I'm a member of the banned,
An angry adolescent in a city grim and grand.
I use four-letter words that any kid can understand,
So JD's masterwork's a master target to be banned.
I'm Charlotte A. Cavatica, a member of the banned.
I saved my pig-friend Wilbur from the sausage-maker's hand.
But I had 500 spiderlets without a wedding band,
So one school's PTA made sure that CHARLOTTE'S WEB was banned.
My name is Robin Hood, and I have got a merry band.
The tales of our adventures are acclaimed in every land.
But I rob the rich to feed the poor -- a blatant Commie plan.
So one girl's mother told her daughter's school I should be banned.
My name is Anna Frank, and I'm a member of the banned.
I had to hide in secret from the Fuhrer's harsh command.
But my diary's a "downer," and my talk of sex is cand-
Id, so THE DIARY OF ANNA FRANK is often banned.
THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES is a member of the banned,
Though scientists agree that Darwin's view of life is grand.
"It contradicts the Bible!" and "Biologists are damned!"
So say the fundamentalists who fight to keep it banned. (Janet Sherman)
My name is Judy Blume, and I'm a member of the banned.
My fanmail comes in tons from kids who say I understand.
The books I write for teenagers are never safe and bland,
So frightened angry parents do their best to have me banned. (Roberta Rogow)
My name is Geoffrey Chaucer, I'm condemne'd out of hand,
For 20th-century mores which I fail to understand.
The Miller kissed the lady's arse -- should he have kissed her hand?
For then perhaps my CANTERBURY TALES would not be banned! (Nigel Parsons)
We are the Brothers Grimm, and we are members of the banned,
We went collecting fairy tales around the Fatherland.
But our ogres are too hideous and our heroines are too bland,
So critics on both right and left insist that we be banned! (Roberta Rogow)
I'm Oz the Great and Terrible, a member of the banned.
A little girl from Kansas travelled through my magic land.
The witches of the North and South are good, and lend a hand,
And that's against Leviticus, so Baum's away! It's banned.
My name is John, Lord Greystoke, I'm a member of the banned.
I wed my Jane in private ceremony in England.
But folks who haven't read the book believe our love is scand-
Alous, and that's why they insist that TARZAN OF THE APES be banned! (Tom Hubbard)
My name is Harry Potter, I'm a member of the banned.
They say that I'm Satanic 'cos I've got a wand in hand.
They're just a bunch of Muggles, and they do not understand
The only magic that I make is fiction that is grand! (Lee Gold)
My name is Winston Smith, and I'm a member of the banned,
Rewriting history each day by government command.
Too many countries think rebooting people would be grand -
So that's why 1984 is added to the banned. (Bill Laubenheimer)
I'm a lawyer name of Atticus, a member of the banned.
My Southern town despised me for defending a black man.
I showed their racist hearts - but my little girl said "Damn,"
That's why they say our tale TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD gets banned!
(Tom Hubbard, ed. Jane Mailander)
My name is little Tango, I'm a member of the banned.
My picture book is dangerous, they say, in children's hands!
My daddies hatched my borrowed egg, their family to expand.
And why our love is bad this penguin does not understand!
My name it is Melinda. I'm a member of the banned.
I refused to keep my mouth shut when my boyfriend forced his hand.
But date rape is "pornography," some preacher folks demand.
Well, I will not stay silent - I will Speak, let them be damned!
I'm Huckleberry Finn, and I'm the LEADER of the banned!
A target for the censors since the century began.
It's never the same reason; it's at different folks' demand.
The river ain't my problem -- it's the fear of being banned!
It's the last week of September, when we honor all the banned--
The books that disappear from shelves and schools like shifting sand.
So fight them in the school boards -- watch your OWN well-meaning hand!
For no books are as dangerous as the folks who get them banned!
And it's time once again for me to post my Banned Books Week theme song. Names in parentheses are the authors of those particular verses; verses by me are un-parenthese'd. Feel free to add your own verses (based on true accounts)
Remember, folks: It's just as bad to ban books for "noble" reasons. If certain books make you uneasy because of their racist / misogynist / anti-semitic / homophobic content (Huckleberry Finn / Taming of the Shrew / Mein Kampf / It's Okay to Wait), then talk about them, balance them with other material, discover that there's other great books out there besides the ones written by dead white straight men and add those to the curricula. The solution to unwanted free speech is MORE free speech, not less.
BANNED BOOKS WEEK
Lyrics: Jane Mailander & Co.
Music: "MacNamara's Band"
(Unfortunately, these are all true stories. Other people's contributions are noted with bylines in parentheses. Feel free to add your own verses -- just make sure they are all true stories of censorship and attempted censorship. I also ask that the last two verses - the Huck Finn, and the "last week in September" verses - remain the last two verses.)
Oh, my name is Holden Caulfield, I'm a member of the banned,
An angry adolescent in a city grim and grand.
I use four-letter words that any kid can understand,
So JD's masterwork's a master target to be banned.
I'm Charlotte A. Cavatica, a member of the banned.
I saved my pig-friend Wilbur from the sausage-maker's hand.
But I had 500 spiderlets without a wedding band,
So one school's PTA made sure that CHARLOTTE'S WEB was banned.
My name is Robin Hood, and I have got a merry band.
The tales of our adventures are acclaimed in every land.
But I rob the rich to feed the poor -- a blatant Commie plan.
So one girl's mother told her daughter's school I should be banned.
My name is Anna Frank, and I'm a member of the banned.
I had to hide in secret from the Fuhrer's harsh command.
But my diary's a "downer," and my talk of sex is cand-
Id, so THE DIARY OF ANNA FRANK is often banned.
THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES is a member of the banned,
Though scientists agree that Darwin's view of life is grand.
"It contradicts the Bible!" and "Biologists are damned!"
So say the fundamentalists who fight to keep it banned. (Janet Sherman)
My name is Judy Blume, and I'm a member of the banned.
My fanmail comes in tons from kids who say I understand.
The books I write for teenagers are never safe and bland,
So frightened angry parents do their best to have me banned. (Roberta Rogow)
My name is Geoffrey Chaucer, I'm condemne'd out of hand,
For 20th-century mores which I fail to understand.
The Miller kissed the lady's arse -- should he have kissed her hand?
For then perhaps my CANTERBURY TALES would not be banned! (Nigel Parsons)
We are the Brothers Grimm, and we are members of the banned,
We went collecting fairy tales around the Fatherland.
But our ogres are too hideous and our heroines are too bland,
So critics on both right and left insist that we be banned! (Roberta Rogow)
I'm Oz the Great and Terrible, a member of the banned.
A little girl from Kansas travelled through my magic land.
The witches of the North and South are good, and lend a hand,
And that's against Leviticus, so Baum's away! It's banned.
My name is John, Lord Greystoke, I'm a member of the banned.
I wed my Jane in private ceremony in England.
But folks who haven't read the book believe our love is scand-
Alous, and that's why they insist that TARZAN OF THE APES be banned! (Tom Hubbard)
My name is Harry Potter, I'm a member of the banned.
They say that I'm Satanic 'cos I've got a wand in hand.
They're just a bunch of Muggles, and they do not understand
The only magic that I make is fiction that is grand! (Lee Gold)
My name is Winston Smith, and I'm a member of the banned,
Rewriting history each day by government command.
Too many countries think rebooting people would be grand -
So that's why 1984 is added to the banned. (Bill Laubenheimer)
I'm a lawyer name of Atticus, a member of the banned.
My Southern town despised me for defending a black man.
I showed their racist hearts - but my little girl said "Damn,"
That's why they say our tale TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD gets banned!
(Tom Hubbard, ed. Jane Mailander)
My name is little Tango, I'm a member of the banned.
My picture book is dangerous, they say, in children's hands!
My daddies hatched my borrowed egg, their family to expand.
And why our love is bad this penguin does not understand!
My name it is Melinda. I'm a member of the banned.
I refused to keep my mouth shut when my boyfriend forced his hand.
But date rape is "pornography," some preacher folks demand.
Well, I will not stay silent - I will Speak, let them be damned!
I'm Huckleberry Finn, and I'm the LEADER of the banned!
A target for the censors since the century began.
It's never the same reason; it's at different folks' demand.
The river ain't my problem -- it's the fear of being banned!
It's the last week of September, when we honor all the banned--
The books that disappear from shelves and schools like shifting sand.
So fight them in the school boards -- watch your OWN well-meaning hand!
For no books are as dangerous as the folks who get them banned!