Agape Love
Recently, God has been speaking to me about love.
God surprises me each time when I flip open my bible or daily devotion. I am in awe of what He has deposited in my life over the past week!
It’s quite funny to think back on how I was conversing to God when it first happened. I remembered asking God, “Why do we have to do this now? I am thankful, yes! I am very grateful for your great love for me and Jon as we’re in a blissful marriage. So, not now please… let’s move on to another topic!”
But God still insisted on laying down the foundation of LOVE for me to understand wherever I was or whatever I was doing. Now, don’t underestimate God’s omnipresent and omnipotent character.
Yesterday when I was spending time together with Johey and Aunty Lee for Lifetracks (basic foundation studies) at church, I learnt more about God, about how relational He is as a true living God. We were learning from a recorded video by Ps Jono and he gave this excellent analogy.
“We could know all about the Queen without having a relationship with her. And so, if she were to walk into the room, you could tell her - I know everything about you, but still, she will not know you as she doesn’t have a relationship with you.”
How true.
I have met several girl friends, Christians and non-Christians alike, often asking me the definition of love. The conversation does not stop there as it often moves on to “How did you know when you met THE ONE to settle down with, etc”
Firstly, I start by saying “Be in a relationship for the right reasons.” I say this from experience as I suffered the consequences after stepping out of a crap one and I was to blame. If you are in a relationship and looking to be loved for fear of being lonely or wanting to settle down because you are no longer young or desperately wanting to move out from a terrible family home, don’t! Ever so often, we end up disappointed in our other half as he/she doesn’t live up to our expectations of loving us adequately. Or maybe, we are in a relationship blinded by love and expect our other half to fit into our definition without taking the time to know one another and appreciate them for who they are.
What to do then?
Sort out the 'giants' in your life and decide what you want before stepping into a relationship. While dating, you can tell if your other half is truly THE ONE for you by the way he/she treats you and his/her family. Most importantly, ask yourself if you can see your other half going through the rest of your life together - in good and bad times.
And if you’re happily attached now and wondering how I knew Jon was THE ONE. My answer is THE ONE is often a man whose heart is after God as his character will be moulded to be Christlike - kind, compassionate, humble, gentle and patient (Col 3:12).
A man as described above would then be one who would relentlessly look out for others and not be self-centred. Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.”
I was simply challenged when I read the above.
Many of my friends and beloved cell group members have been true advocate of the above statement. They go out of their way to welcome new members into church or reach out to others who are facing issues by sharing the love of God.
Then, I looked at myself and realised how poorly I displayed my love for the unlovable ones, including those who had previously hurt me. I have a thorn in my heart when it comes to certain people but I really have to work on it, with genuine love to cure myself out of this bitterness or hurt I feel sometimes.
To end off, I pray that all of us, including myself will understand and apply the meaning of these infamous verses (we often read at weddings) in our lives and relationships - “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." (1 Cor 13:4-7)
There are many different problems that will cause us to stumble in our relationships such as financial hardship, physical abuse, emotional scars in your childhood or left behind by your loved ones, stubbornness, lack of time/communication/attention or even death of a loved ones that make you think twice about this life we’re living for.
I am thus challenged to not live life just for the moment as it is more than about us. It is about others. Like me, you could probably start asking yourself today, “Who can I serve?”