more work musings
suddenly so much to write...
after a bit of time feeling down and trapped and guilty, i turned that around and took control of my situation. in other words, i’m over my job, i’m over this conference, and it’s about time i do something about it. so, i’m packed up and heading to the airport several hours early tomorrow to get on a standby list. i’ll make it home early and do some work that needs to be done, making better use of my time. and, tonight i outlined some very specific action items for myself in terms of looking for a new job. i’ve been doing a little here and a little there, and things are starting to become more clear.
at this point, i think i’m committed to trying a career change (or as jonathan calls it, a career affair). it’s not clear to me yet whether i want to take a more horticulture-related path, a more design-related path, or a hybrid path, assuming one exists. in order for me to answer that question, i need more information and i may simply need to take one path to see what i think. so i’m contacting people to network and ask questions; i’m researching companies and organizations; i’m looking into a horticulture internship; and am going to become a member of at least one trade association so that i get that on my resume and open other doors. (i’ll get newsletters, access to job listings, trade publications, etc.) and i’m going to try my best not to feel guilty about the timing should another job opportunity present itself....
i say that because my supervisor is getting ready to go out on maternity leave and we’re already down 2 people. i’ve been feeling guilty for thinking about leaving, but i’m also feeling guilty for not being interested in my job. i’m really doing my department a disservice by not caring. i’m also doing myself a disservice - once again sticking with something that doesn’t make me happy b/c of others. so, i’m trying to let that guilt go. i have no control over my supervisor’s schedule or choices, and i have no control over other’s decisions to stay or leave. i only have control over my own decisions and this current situation just isn’t working for me. plus, i’ve been there almost 2 years and it’s been my experience that 2 years is sort of the tipping point. if people stay at a job past 3 months, one of two things seems to happen: they’re usually there for 2 years before making a move or they stay for a long time. i will not be staying for a long time. i will miss the benefits greatly (i mean, in this day and age, can you believe that my health insurance is actually paid for 100% by my company??? and while i contibute a measly 2% to my 403b, they contribute 10%), but i have to go.
so there it is. in black and white (or black and tan - hehehe). that’s the big realization i came to today.
i know i still have details about chicago and my weekend here with jonathan to fill in. there are definitely a few things we did or saw that i’d like to mention. so hopefully i’ll get to that soon. for now, tylenol pm is kicking in, so i gotta go to bed.
after a bit of time feeling down and trapped and guilty, i turned that around and took control of my situation. in other words, i’m over my job, i’m over this conference, and it’s about time i do something about it. so, i’m packed up and heading to the airport several hours early tomorrow to get on a standby list. i’ll make it home early and do some work that needs to be done, making better use of my time. and, tonight i outlined some very specific action items for myself in terms of looking for a new job. i’ve been doing a little here and a little there, and things are starting to become more clear.
at this point, i think i’m committed to trying a career change (or as jonathan calls it, a career affair). it’s not clear to me yet whether i want to take a more horticulture-related path, a more design-related path, or a hybrid path, assuming one exists. in order for me to answer that question, i need more information and i may simply need to take one path to see what i think. so i’m contacting people to network and ask questions; i’m researching companies and organizations; i’m looking into a horticulture internship; and am going to become a member of at least one trade association so that i get that on my resume and open other doors. (i’ll get newsletters, access to job listings, trade publications, etc.) and i’m going to try my best not to feel guilty about the timing should another job opportunity present itself....
i say that because my supervisor is getting ready to go out on maternity leave and we’re already down 2 people. i’ve been feeling guilty for thinking about leaving, but i’m also feeling guilty for not being interested in my job. i’m really doing my department a disservice by not caring. i’m also doing myself a disservice - once again sticking with something that doesn’t make me happy b/c of others. so, i’m trying to let that guilt go. i have no control over my supervisor’s schedule or choices, and i have no control over other’s decisions to stay or leave. i only have control over my own decisions and this current situation just isn’t working for me. plus, i’ve been there almost 2 years and it’s been my experience that 2 years is sort of the tipping point. if people stay at a job past 3 months, one of two things seems to happen: they’re usually there for 2 years before making a move or they stay for a long time. i will not be staying for a long time. i will miss the benefits greatly (i mean, in this day and age, can you believe that my health insurance is actually paid for 100% by my company??? and while i contibute a measly 2% to my 403b, they contribute 10%), but i have to go.
so there it is. in black and white (or black and tan - hehehe). that’s the big realization i came to today.
i know i still have details about chicago and my weekend here with jonathan to fill in. there are definitely a few things we did or saw that i’d like to mention. so hopefully i’ll get to that soon. for now, tylenol pm is kicking in, so i gotta go to bed.