HUMOR: The customer is NOT always.... (True stories)
"An Accent Waiting To Happen
Wi-Fly Away
(I work as technical support for an Internet service provider in Belgium. Most of the calls are about wifi not working properly. It is known with us that the wireless range of our modems isn’t exactly great.)
Me: “Good morning, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I’m [Customer] and I’m having problems with my wifi connection.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you have problems with your wifi connection. Do you see your network in the list of network connections on your computer?”
Customer: “Yes, I do see it, but it says I cannot connect because it’s not within range.”
Me: *fearing the worst, that she’s two floors away and the connection is too weak* “Okay… How far are your physically away from the modem?”
Customer: *long pause* “…I think I’m about 150km away.”
Me: “… uh… Miss, you do know the wifi technology is limited to about 10-15m max?”
Customer: “Oh…” *long pause* *click*
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An Accent Waiting To Happen
Call Center | Kingston, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Crazy Requests
Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name] and I’ll be your-”
Caller: “I need your name and your state.”
Me: “My name is [My Name]. And I’m sorry, but what was the other thing?”
Caller: “I need you to spell your name and tell me what state you’re in.”
Me: “[I spell my name] and I’m currently in New York State.”
Caller: “You have an accent. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
(I have never been told I have an accent before, in fact I’ve been noted to have remarkable little accent given that I grew up in New Jersey. The woman on the phone speaks like me and has no distinguishable accent.)
Me: “Um, where do you want me to transfer you to?”
Caller: “You have an accent. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
Me: “Okay, but where do you want me to transfer you? What department?”
Caller: “You have an accent. I can’t understand you. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
Me: “Okay, but I can’t-”
Caller: “You have an accent. I can’t understand you. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
Me: “I can’t promise-”
Caller: “I can’t understand you. Transfer me.”
Me: “I can’t promise you’ll get-”
Caller: “Transfer me.”
Me: “-a representative from Texas-”
Caller: “Transfer me.”
Me: “I’m putting you-”
Caller: “Transfer me-”
Me: “-back in the queue-”
Caller: “Transfer me.”
(I put the call right back in the queue and wrote a warning in my team’s chat to anyone who gets her next. About 10 seconds later in the chat my coworker on the other side of a divider from me wrote, “I have a woman who says I have an accent and wants to be transferred, but won’t say where to. What do I do?” That’s when I noticed another coworker, also in New York State, but in a different city, had gotten this woman before me and put her back in the queue. The woman eventually hung up on my other coworker.)"
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Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage
Grocery Store | Lawrence, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers
"(I am standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier asks the customer in front:)
Cashier: “Do you want paper or plastic?”
Customer: “It doesn’t matter, I’m biSACKtual.”
(After he left, the cashier turned to the bagger:)
Cashier: “It’s a good thing the other guy wasn’t here today; he’s hydrophobic.”
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Acting Stupido
Hotel | Dahlgren, VA, USA | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging
Guest: “Oh, Marla is a pretty name; but it doesn’t sound very Italian.”
Me: “Why would I have an Italian name?”
Guest: “You’re Italian, right? I mean, you look Italian.”
Me: “Nope, not Italian. Mom’s Mexican and Dad is White.”
Guest: “So, you’re kinda Italian?”
Me: “Nope. Not kinda. Not at all.”
Guest: “Well, you should be. You would be a pretty Italian.”
Me: *smiles and hands them their key* “So, since I’m not Italian, I am ugly?”
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Read more>> http://notalwaysright.com/page/8
Wi-Fly Away
(I work as technical support for an Internet service provider in Belgium. Most of the calls are about wifi not working properly. It is known with us that the wireless range of our modems isn’t exactly great.)
Me: “Good morning, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I’m [Customer] and I’m having problems with my wifi connection.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you have problems with your wifi connection. Do you see your network in the list of network connections on your computer?”
Customer: “Yes, I do see it, but it says I cannot connect because it’s not within range.”
Me: *fearing the worst, that she’s two floors away and the connection is too weak* “Okay… How far are your physically away from the modem?”
Customer: *long pause* “…I think I’m about 150km away.”
Me: “… uh… Miss, you do know the wifi technology is limited to about 10-15m max?”
Customer: “Oh…” *long pause* *click*
____________________________________________________________________
An Accent Waiting To Happen
Call Center | Kingston, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Crazy Requests
Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name] and I’ll be your-”
Caller: “I need your name and your state.”
Me: “My name is [My Name]. And I’m sorry, but what was the other thing?”
Caller: “I need you to spell your name and tell me what state you’re in.”
Me: “[I spell my name] and I’m currently in New York State.”
Caller: “You have an accent. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
(I have never been told I have an accent before, in fact I’ve been noted to have remarkable little accent given that I grew up in New Jersey. The woman on the phone speaks like me and has no distinguishable accent.)
Me: “Um, where do you want me to transfer you to?”
Caller: “You have an accent. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
Me: “Okay, but where do you want me to transfer you? What department?”
Caller: “You have an accent. I can’t understand you. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
Me: “Okay, but I can’t-”
Caller: “You have an accent. I can’t understand you. Transfer me. I live in Houston, Texas.”
Me: “I can’t promise-”
Caller: “I can’t understand you. Transfer me.”
Me: “I can’t promise you’ll get-”
Caller: “Transfer me.”
Me: “-a representative from Texas-”
Caller: “Transfer me.”
Me: “I’m putting you-”
Caller: “Transfer me-”
Me: “-back in the queue-”
Caller: “Transfer me.”
(I put the call right back in the queue and wrote a warning in my team’s chat to anyone who gets her next. About 10 seconds later in the chat my coworker on the other side of a divider from me wrote, “I have a woman who says I have an accent and wants to be transferred, but won’t say where to. What do I do?” That’s when I noticed another coworker, also in New York State, but in a different city, had gotten this woman before me and put her back in the queue. The woman eventually hung up on my other coworker.)"
____________________________________________________________________
Don’t Have Baggage About Types Of Baggage
Grocery Store | Lawrence, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers
"(I am standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier asks the customer in front:)
Cashier: “Do you want paper or plastic?”
Customer: “It doesn’t matter, I’m biSACKtual.”
(After he left, the cashier turned to the bagger:)
Cashier: “It’s a good thing the other guy wasn’t here today; he’s hydrophobic.”
____________________________________________________________________
Acting Stupido
Hotel | Dahlgren, VA, USA | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging
Guest: “Oh, Marla is a pretty name; but it doesn’t sound very Italian.”
Me: “Why would I have an Italian name?”
Guest: “You’re Italian, right? I mean, you look Italian.”
Me: “Nope, not Italian. Mom’s Mexican and Dad is White.”
Guest: “So, you’re kinda Italian?”
Me: “Nope. Not kinda. Not at all.”
Guest: “Well, you should be. You would be a pretty Italian.”
Me: *smiles and hands them their key* “So, since I’m not Italian, I am ugly?”
____________________________________________________________________
Read more>> http://notalwaysright.com/page/8