I get excitement at your feet...
I saw ‘Tarnation’ last night. I cannot express my reaction to this film. It brought up a lot of really painful stuff for me and made me cry, but in the end I walked out with a tremendous amount of respect and awe for Jonathan Caouette. At his honesty and bravery, at his beautiful strength. Because I wasn’t just watching it as an innocent observer, I’ve been there. Right there. In some ways better, in others much worse, but we each have our own stories and his was brutal enough to at least impress me in some 'kindred fucked-up childhood' kind of way. It was his naked emotion and frustration that touched me, that made my heart pound, because it was all so fucking familiar. To live in that dark and helpless place at such a young age, it does damage you - but it’s up to you how you overcome it. It’s up to you to find the beautiful moments, to see the genius in surviving it, to find a way to live with it and make it your own. But first, you have to own up to it.
I haven’t yet. But I walked out of that movie with a weird kind of hope for myself. I wish I could tell him that. That he opened my eyes. And quite possibly even saved me from myself.
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