certain things turn ugly when you think too hard
Yeah. At the moment I can honestly say that I'm happy. I dont feel this way very often. Selffish of me, perhaps, but still everything is great.
This evening have been made a capital B in THE POWER OF B! It feels unreal. I have the most amazing friends that anyone can ask for. They make me feel so happy, and... worth it. I have been given the new nickname : CHRONIC B! I think its totally sick. Melissa, Jamel & Kyle mean the world to me and I litterally dont even feel worthy. Tomorrow we are going into Queens to all bond, I cannot wait. I dont understand why I have such insane self issues, I guess when I was younger and was always made fun of left some scars... whatever the mystery lives on. For once in my goddamn life I guess I found my... nich? HAH that sounds dumb.
I havent even spoken to Malinda in a really long time, or even seen her and as happy as I am I really miss her. I dont understand how she can go about not speaking to me for months and expect me to play the role of best friend every time I do see her and demand me to be around her constantly. As much as I miss her and love her with all my heart it still makes me weary of everything that has changed. She feels nothing has changed and that everytime I see her it must be the magic it always was, thats fine with me, but not even trying to understand or accept that I have made close friendships with other people while she isnt around is simply unfair ; because she constantly shoves the fact that she and Tim are happy down my throat and that I have to accept it. I do, and I have come to terms with it all, and it makes me very happy to know that she is happy. I want her to be happy, she deserves it because she is simply amazing, but she doesnt want me to be happy with Melissa and everyone, only her. The parade with her was alot of fun, it gave us a chance to catch up but I cannot understand how she gets to insulted when she see me with other people.
Yeah and then there is the whole boy trouble, I'm working on it. The only problem is I have no idea what I'm doing... HA this sucks.
I'm going to sleep. goodnight.
This evening have been made a capital B in THE POWER OF B! It feels unreal. I have the most amazing friends that anyone can ask for. They make me feel so happy, and... worth it. I have been given the new nickname : CHRONIC B! I think its totally sick. Melissa, Jamel & Kyle mean the world to me and I litterally dont even feel worthy. Tomorrow we are going into Queens to all bond, I cannot wait. I dont understand why I have such insane self issues, I guess when I was younger and was always made fun of left some scars... whatever the mystery lives on. For once in my goddamn life I guess I found my... nich? HAH that sounds dumb.
I havent even spoken to Malinda in a really long time, or even seen her and as happy as I am I really miss her. I dont understand how she can go about not speaking to me for months and expect me to play the role of best friend every time I do see her and demand me to be around her constantly. As much as I miss her and love her with all my heart it still makes me weary of everything that has changed. She feels nothing has changed and that everytime I see her it must be the magic it always was, thats fine with me, but not even trying to understand or accept that I have made close friendships with other people while she isnt around is simply unfair ; because she constantly shoves the fact that she and Tim are happy down my throat and that I have to accept it. I do, and I have come to terms with it all, and it makes me very happy to know that she is happy. I want her to be happy, she deserves it because she is simply amazing, but she doesnt want me to be happy with Melissa and everyone, only her. The parade with her was alot of fun, it gave us a chance to catch up but I cannot understand how she gets to insulted when she see me with other people.
Yeah and then there is the whole boy trouble, I'm working on it. The only problem is I have no idea what I'm doing... HA this sucks.
I'm going to sleep. goodnight.