Let me tell you motherfuckers somethin bout myself
My name's Buck and I like to fuckin FUCK. I watch power rangers and wack off yes its true. I also rain down pain upon niggers named Asscrack Fuckedy. My dad was once a Navy Seal but he got discharged for being gay. He also fucked a general's wife so he was pissed and tried to frag my dad but my dad got the better of him and fucked him too before popping off 9 desert eagle rounds into his bitch ass. My grandma is an ordained minister in the church of ass kicking and she taught me everything she knows. So basically that means you should never fuck with me unless you wanna get fucked with. I'm a master of the double flying knee. Ask anybody who has felt the pwnage of it and they'll tell you it's a force to be reckoned with. The same could be said about my dick and balls but that's another story for another time and another fuckin crime. Ya know what I'm sayin? Ya feel me? Ya dig? Well anyway back to the fuckin point. My point is I'm one bad mutha, who don't take shit from anyone. I'll christen your ass with a hot wax candle and brand you with a piece of metal shaped like a dick if you're not careful. I blast fools for the slightest shit, so don't step to this. I'm rock hard right now but that's another matter entirely. I have a massive finger that i'll shove into your fuckin eye if you touch me. AND I HOPE YOU SAVED ROOM FOR MY FIST BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RAM IT INTO YOUR STOMACH! When I work out I feel like I'm cumming. You know, like cumming like sex/fucking/ramming/touching/loving that kinda cumming, you know. So I work out and I feel like I'm cumming and then I relax and party and rock out and fuck and fuck again and it's fuckin awesome. That's why they call me Sir Fucks A Lot. My life is so fuckin awesome it's unbelievable. I rock out like 24/7 and party and fuck and rock out and eat and party again and then fuckin have unbelievable sex its fuckin amazing you should fuckin try it sometime you fuckin prudes.
Back to my fuckin story though. You know, the one about me being the ultimate goddamn motherfucking badass and me rocking this fuckin planet to its core. You know that story? That's the fuckin story I'm talkin about here so if you don't wanna hear about that story well you know what? You better fuckin leave right now and stop reading this shit before you get your ass kicked because that's the fuckin story that I'm tryin to tell here and if you don't like it I'll fuckin kick your ass plain and simple ok? That's how it fuckin works. I'm the badass, and you're the glass jawed motherfuckin pussy. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. Get it? Got it? Good. Well anyways, about that. I fuckin party harder than anyone you've ever fuckin met guaran-fuckin-teed bro. I swear to motherfuckin christ, and I will whoop your ass on his honor, that I am seriously the best beer drinking badass in this town. Get this - I fuckin counted how long it took me to chug a beer once, and I couldn't even count because it was like 2 milliseconds. That's just one small example of how fucking cool I am. If you don't believe it, fuckin watch me. Read em and weep is what I'll tell ya when I'm done because I know I'm serious as fuck about this shit and you're just a pretender and besides that, I'll lay the motherfuckin smackdown on your bitch ass any day of the goddamn week.
The next example of my awesomeness is just the fact that I'm such a fuckin dank ass nasty beast in bed. Not only am I the ultimate freak, but I fuck for hours on end without stopping. The only time I stop is to let the girl catch a breather while I switch it up into my next titillating position. I've mastered the art of tantric sex and I can go literally forever and I'm never fuckin satisfied and yet I'm completely and utterly satisfied at the same time. I have to switch girls because they get tired after the first 2 hours and frankly they just can't handle it. I'm a machine and I'm so good at it that girls can't even look at me without imagining the way i'll blast their pussies into oblivion with my gi-normous monstrosity of a dick. The last girl I fucked said she had 1,000 orgasms within minutes and that's nothin compared to the usual amount I give these hoes. Usually it's around 12,000/minute. They had to invent a new abbreviation just for me because I'm such a good fucker. Og/M orgasms/ minute bitches. And I know you're thinkin "yeah right?" But let me tell you somethin: Don't knock it until you've tried it bitches because I am 100% for real that I will ruin your life and have you fiendin for this shit constantly. That's really all I've got to say about that shit right now because actions speak louder than words and I'm fuckin right now so why the fuck would I wanna talk about fuckin WHILE I'm fuckin. Ya heard?
So let me talk about kicking ass and partying and rocking out and ruling the world and being the ultimate motherfuckin badass some more. I just can't say enough about this. There aren't enough words in the english language to describe how fuckin cool I am first of all. So I can't even properly begin to try and explain to you idiots. One time a group of about a thousand scholars ganged up together to share their thoughts and try and think of a word to describe how much of a badass I am. They thought and thought and thought for years to no avail. And then guess what happened. One day all their fuckin heads exploded because they realized the true degree of sheer awesomeness that permeates throughout my life and their puny little brains couldn't handle it.
In conclusion, your bitch ass needs to fuck off and go to hell and suck an egg and fuck yourself and suck your own dick and most of all, fork over the fat cash stacks into my dank ass face while I laugh at you for being such a pussy ass prick sucker.
P.S. Sit on a sprinkler and rotate or else suffer hellish wrath at the hands of my ultimate destruction and domination over your pussy ass life.
The end.
Back to my fuckin story though. You know, the one about me being the ultimate goddamn motherfucking badass and me rocking this fuckin planet to its core. You know that story? That's the fuckin story I'm talkin about here so if you don't wanna hear about that story well you know what? You better fuckin leave right now and stop reading this shit before you get your ass kicked because that's the fuckin story that I'm tryin to tell here and if you don't like it I'll fuckin kick your ass plain and simple ok? That's how it fuckin works. I'm the badass, and you're the glass jawed motherfuckin pussy. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. Get it? Got it? Good. Well anyways, about that. I fuckin party harder than anyone you've ever fuckin met guaran-fuckin-teed bro. I swear to motherfuckin christ, and I will whoop your ass on his honor, that I am seriously the best beer drinking badass in this town. Get this - I fuckin counted how long it took me to chug a beer once, and I couldn't even count because it was like 2 milliseconds. That's just one small example of how fucking cool I am. If you don't believe it, fuckin watch me. Read em and weep is what I'll tell ya when I'm done because I know I'm serious as fuck about this shit and you're just a pretender and besides that, I'll lay the motherfuckin smackdown on your bitch ass any day of the goddamn week.
The next example of my awesomeness is just the fact that I'm such a fuckin dank ass nasty beast in bed. Not only am I the ultimate freak, but I fuck for hours on end without stopping. The only time I stop is to let the girl catch a breather while I switch it up into my next titillating position. I've mastered the art of tantric sex and I can go literally forever and I'm never fuckin satisfied and yet I'm completely and utterly satisfied at the same time. I have to switch girls because they get tired after the first 2 hours and frankly they just can't handle it. I'm a machine and I'm so good at it that girls can't even look at me without imagining the way i'll blast their pussies into oblivion with my gi-normous monstrosity of a dick. The last girl I fucked said she had 1,000 orgasms within minutes and that's nothin compared to the usual amount I give these hoes. Usually it's around 12,000/minute. They had to invent a new abbreviation just for me because I'm such a good fucker. Og/M orgasms/ minute bitches. And I know you're thinkin "yeah right?" But let me tell you somethin: Don't knock it until you've tried it bitches because I am 100% for real that I will ruin your life and have you fiendin for this shit constantly. That's really all I've got to say about that shit right now because actions speak louder than words and I'm fuckin right now so why the fuck would I wanna talk about fuckin WHILE I'm fuckin. Ya heard?
So let me talk about kicking ass and partying and rocking out and ruling the world and being the ultimate motherfuckin badass some more. I just can't say enough about this. There aren't enough words in the english language to describe how fuckin cool I am first of all. So I can't even properly begin to try and explain to you idiots. One time a group of about a thousand scholars ganged up together to share their thoughts and try and think of a word to describe how much of a badass I am. They thought and thought and thought for years to no avail. And then guess what happened. One day all their fuckin heads exploded because they realized the true degree of sheer awesomeness that permeates throughout my life and their puny little brains couldn't handle it.
In conclusion, your bitch ass needs to fuck off and go to hell and suck an egg and fuck yourself and suck your own dick and most of all, fork over the fat cash stacks into my dank ass face while I laugh at you for being such a pussy ass prick sucker.
P.S. Sit on a sprinkler and rotate or else suffer hellish wrath at the hands of my ultimate destruction and domination over your pussy ass life.
The end.