(no subject)
i literally just started crying for no reason. I got called in for work training for friday at 1pm. That sucks cause i had a hair cut appointment friday at 2, so i go to change it and it turns out she cant do it wednesday, thursday , saturday or sunday. Great...i just canceled it and said i would call back later, then cried. Cause of a hair cut appointment? That can't be right.I cant make another one because i dont know when the hell i can use the car, or get a ride or when im working. I think i had the sudden realization i have become completely dependent on people since i got here. I cant do anything unless someone gives me a ride, or someone feels like hanging out. I hate it. Yes it's temporary, but still, it's just making me ill. I've reverted back to being a teenager, and i hated being a teenager. My life consist of watching HBO or being on the internet till someone decides Im worth their time. I'm not really needed for much of anything these days, and no one really needs me around. I'm not depressed, and contrary to popular belief i do not "like being miserable" are you kidding me? I'm just in this weird, and temporary rut here and i just hate it. Everything just seems to be moving in slow motion when im used to fast forward, i just want to settle back into life here and it's taking way longer than i thought.I dont yet regret my decision to move here, but im scared that might happen.I'm not talking shit about austin, it's not the city, it's my unsuccessful adaptation to the city so far. Im sure things will change in time, im just going to be doing a lot of venting for a while till i get it all out. I need some major distractions, I've been doing too much thinking.