(no subject)
Went to Stix last night after poker and got trashed off 6 beers. How did that happen? I don't know. Amanda Guzik brought one of her friends to the bar and somehow she knew i was queer and though Ryan was my boyfriend. Just because you see someone with me doesn't mean they're gay you know. I hang out with Cherylee a lot, so I must be Asian. See how silly that is? So I got so drunk I left the bar at 1:30 ready to pass the fuck out and texted Ryan and Cherylee that I was passing out and not to disturb me. The things we do when we're drunk :-D.
Ryan Ebbert called me in the middle of the night. He got into another bad fight with Kegan because they broke up. He's interning in Columbia, MO this summer and he didn't wanna have to worry about cheating or anything. I reassured him that Kegan could get any guy he wanted down here and that obviously he wanted to be faithful and stick with him.
Why do I always turn out to be the friend people wanna tell their guy problems to? With people I like that is. It also frustrates me how all this guys trip and fall out the closet and into the arms of these guys within a matter of minutes. It happened to Ryan, it happened to Josh, it happened to Nick, and it happened to this kid Justin that I used to know. However, it's been about 3 years for me and I'm just not getting close to possibly having something with Pete. Being dissed and denied has really messed with the confidence I have that people are interested in me. I've noticed that I have to depend on Pete's phone calls to be assured that things are going well. I'm like this little battered and beatened dog and that's been set on the side of the road time and time again. I wish I had the full confidence in myself where I didn't need to depend on the reassurance of others. However, I still want to finally be cared and loved.
Ryan Ebbert called me in the middle of the night. He got into another bad fight with Kegan because they broke up. He's interning in Columbia, MO this summer and he didn't wanna have to worry about cheating or anything. I reassured him that Kegan could get any guy he wanted down here and that obviously he wanted to be faithful and stick with him.
Why do I always turn out to be the friend people wanna tell their guy problems to? With people I like that is. It also frustrates me how all this guys trip and fall out the closet and into the arms of these guys within a matter of minutes. It happened to Ryan, it happened to Josh, it happened to Nick, and it happened to this kid Justin that I used to know. However, it's been about 3 years for me and I'm just not getting close to possibly having something with Pete. Being dissed and denied has really messed with the confidence I have that people are interested in me. I've noticed that I have to depend on Pete's phone calls to be assured that things are going well. I'm like this little battered and beatened dog and that's been set on the side of the road time and time again. I wish I had the full confidence in myself where I didn't need to depend on the reassurance of others. However, I still want to finally be cared and loved.