OK for the last time for real
eastcoastrider41: hey
Silvaspider009: hey whats goin on
eastcoastrider41: nm u
Silvaspider009: aw im sad:-(
eastcoastrider41: why?
Silvaspider009: NaUgHtYcOoKiE0 really cut me deep today
eastcoastrider41: ? whos that
Silvaspider009: i dont want to say her name...:-(
eastcoastrider41: jewel?
eastcoastrider41: mandi?
Silvaspider009: mandi
eastcoastrider41: what the fuck did she do now
eastcoastrider41: bitch u out again?
Silvaspider009: yea, kinda...ok, no
eastcoastrider41: prolly said the same damn thang, bout how she loves her man and you'll never understand cause you have chronic faults?
Silvaspider009: :-( yea
eastcoastrider41: man don't listen to that bullshit, she has no right to keep coming back and saying that shit
Silvaspider009: she said that she doesnt even want to be my friend
eastcoastrider41: she trippin
eastcoastrider41: whoever doesnt want to be your friend is nutso
eastcoastrider41: ur the best friend i have
Silvaspider009: thank you, you my best friend to
eastcoastrider41: even if u werent my best friend tho i'd want to be ur friend that shit is retarded
Silvaspider009: i feel really bad though because i feel stupid for thinking that i could be with her, i just wanted to change way to much
eastcoastrider41: I want to save all the boys I get with
Silvaspider009: y you say that
eastcoastrider41: i dunno, i guess i'm attracted to ones i can't change, so i feel ya
Silvaspider009: *sigh* yea
eastcoastrider41: life sucks sweetheart
eastcoastrider41: wish they told us that a long time ago
Silvaspider009: haha yea
Silvaspider009: thanks for the love on your lj
eastcoastrider41: your welcome, leave me some feedback if u can
Silvaspider009: yea no prob
eastcoastrider41: what are we gonna do Paul?!
Silvaspider009: i dont know. the way i see it we either take the beating or quit
eastcoastrider41: i keep takin it i guess
Silvaspider009: i guess so
Silvaspider009: how do you get INTO relationships?
Silvaspider009: or
Silvaspider009: how do you know your in one?
eastcoastrider41: when you care about the other person more and cant be without them
Silvaspider009: but it gotta be mutual, i think thats what im missing
eastcoastrider41: ahh
Silvaspider009: yea
Silvaspider009: no one feels that about me:-(
eastcoastrider41: I do
eastcoastrider41: wel, u know
eastcoastrider41: better this way than a goldigger
Silvaspider009: BUT I WANT A RELATIONSHIP, Im tired of being single. but nobody sees that because to them my felings never mean shit
Silvaspider009: yea i guess ur right ang
eastcoastrider41: when you stop looking shit happens
Silvaspider009: oh no. no no no all the girls in my past came from no where and they CRUSHED my hear, and drowned my soul in depression
Silvaspider009: Heart*
eastcoastrider41: maybe it needed crushing?
Silvaspider009: aw:-(
eastcoastrider41: i'm just kidding
Silvaspider009: no i think your right, because all of this has been a learning experience
eastcoastrider41: i know
Silvaspider009: but u know what
eastcoastrider41: que?
Silvaspider009: at night when im about to sleep i think about mandi and how much fun i woulda had, and everything i would have done for her...
Silvaspider009: but
Silvaspider009: in the morning I think about jewel and just thinking about her name makes me smile but makes my heart sad as hell
eastcoastrider41: yeah when I wake up there's this panic
eastcoastrider41: and the emotion makes my heart stop for a second
eastcoastrider41: wondering if he's with me or not
eastcoastrider41: and when i fall asleep i think about how we met and everything i wanna do to him, but when i wake up i realize he doesnt care
Silvaspider009: mmm...what do you think?
Silvaspider009: mmm
eastcoastrider41: I think I just found a shitload of Disney songs on ourtunes!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Silvaspider009: huh?
eastcoastrider41: random
Silvaspider009: haha aiight
eastcoastrider41: i went looking for aladdin songs
eastcoastrider41: and found lots of random disney songs
Silvaspider009: ahh
Thats why i love you ang. Its one o clock in the morning and your still here for me. And you still gave me good advice.
For all those that dont know, Mandi is gone. Gone out of my life, and on to that list of girs whom I stupidly thought I could be happy with. Wrong, insted I just end up making their lives worse. But like I said before, its all been a learning experience. It breaks down like this... I meet a girl, find out that she's PHENOMINAL, then i want somethin more, something better, thats when I fuck up. cause you see thats the point when I put feelings into it, but its growing increasingly obvious that my feelings are stupid. either that or that they dont mean shit. because when it comes to these girls and the question of if they could ever be with me, well lets just say they would rather go back with there ex, or stay where its safe. so as you may see im the only one who gets hurt. So believe me when I say "NOBODY, SEEN THE TROUBLE I SEEN". I cant believe anyone has ever felt my pain before, pain that doesnt get better with each failed attempt but worse. In the end its my fault, I should have learned a while back that my feelings are, for the lack of a better word, worthless. and thats not gonna change, so I PROMISE TO GOD, HAND TO THE BIBLE that im not going to try anymore. single for me, thats it. no more hurt. ugh.
OK THATS THE LAST TIME I TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF.
Silvaspider009: hey whats goin on
eastcoastrider41: nm u
Silvaspider009: aw im sad:-(
eastcoastrider41: why?
Silvaspider009: NaUgHtYcOoKiE0 really cut me deep today
eastcoastrider41: ? whos that
Silvaspider009: i dont want to say her name...:-(
eastcoastrider41: jewel?
eastcoastrider41: mandi?
Silvaspider009: mandi
eastcoastrider41: what the fuck did she do now
eastcoastrider41: bitch u out again?
Silvaspider009: yea, kinda...ok, no
eastcoastrider41: prolly said the same damn thang, bout how she loves her man and you'll never understand cause you have chronic faults?
Silvaspider009: :-( yea
eastcoastrider41: man don't listen to that bullshit, she has no right to keep coming back and saying that shit
Silvaspider009: she said that she doesnt even want to be my friend
eastcoastrider41: she trippin
eastcoastrider41: whoever doesnt want to be your friend is nutso
eastcoastrider41: ur the best friend i have
Silvaspider009: thank you, you my best friend to
eastcoastrider41: even if u werent my best friend tho i'd want to be ur friend that shit is retarded
Silvaspider009: i feel really bad though because i feel stupid for thinking that i could be with her, i just wanted to change way to much
eastcoastrider41: I want to save all the boys I get with
Silvaspider009: y you say that
eastcoastrider41: i dunno, i guess i'm attracted to ones i can't change, so i feel ya
Silvaspider009: *sigh* yea
eastcoastrider41: life sucks sweetheart
eastcoastrider41: wish they told us that a long time ago
Silvaspider009: haha yea
Silvaspider009: thanks for the love on your lj
eastcoastrider41: your welcome, leave me some feedback if u can
Silvaspider009: yea no prob
eastcoastrider41: what are we gonna do Paul?!
Silvaspider009: i dont know. the way i see it we either take the beating or quit
eastcoastrider41: i keep takin it i guess
Silvaspider009: i guess so
Silvaspider009: how do you get INTO relationships?
Silvaspider009: or
Silvaspider009: how do you know your in one?
eastcoastrider41: when you care about the other person more and cant be without them
Silvaspider009: but it gotta be mutual, i think thats what im missing
eastcoastrider41: ahh
Silvaspider009: yea
Silvaspider009: no one feels that about me:-(
eastcoastrider41: I do
eastcoastrider41: wel, u know
eastcoastrider41: better this way than a goldigger
Silvaspider009: BUT I WANT A RELATIONSHIP, Im tired of being single. but nobody sees that because to them my felings never mean shit
Silvaspider009: yea i guess ur right ang
eastcoastrider41: when you stop looking shit happens
Silvaspider009: oh no. no no no all the girls in my past came from no where and they CRUSHED my hear, and drowned my soul in depression
Silvaspider009: Heart*
eastcoastrider41: maybe it needed crushing?
Silvaspider009: aw:-(
eastcoastrider41: i'm just kidding
Silvaspider009: no i think your right, because all of this has been a learning experience
eastcoastrider41: i know
Silvaspider009: but u know what
eastcoastrider41: que?
Silvaspider009: at night when im about to sleep i think about mandi and how much fun i woulda had, and everything i would have done for her...
Silvaspider009: but
Silvaspider009: in the morning I think about jewel and just thinking about her name makes me smile but makes my heart sad as hell
eastcoastrider41: yeah when I wake up there's this panic
eastcoastrider41: and the emotion makes my heart stop for a second
eastcoastrider41: wondering if he's with me or not
eastcoastrider41: and when i fall asleep i think about how we met and everything i wanna do to him, but when i wake up i realize he doesnt care
Silvaspider009: mmm...what do you think?
Silvaspider009: mmm
eastcoastrider41: I think I just found a shitload of Disney songs on ourtunes!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Silvaspider009: huh?
eastcoastrider41: random
Silvaspider009: haha aiight
eastcoastrider41: i went looking for aladdin songs
eastcoastrider41: and found lots of random disney songs
Silvaspider009: ahh
Thats why i love you ang. Its one o clock in the morning and your still here for me. And you still gave me good advice.
For all those that dont know, Mandi is gone. Gone out of my life, and on to that list of girs whom I stupidly thought I could be happy with. Wrong, insted I just end up making their lives worse. But like I said before, its all been a learning experience. It breaks down like this... I meet a girl, find out that she's PHENOMINAL, then i want somethin more, something better, thats when I fuck up. cause you see thats the point when I put feelings into it, but its growing increasingly obvious that my feelings are stupid. either that or that they dont mean shit. because when it comes to these girls and the question of if they could ever be with me, well lets just say they would rather go back with there ex, or stay where its safe. so as you may see im the only one who gets hurt. So believe me when I say "NOBODY, SEEN THE TROUBLE I SEEN". I cant believe anyone has ever felt my pain before, pain that doesnt get better with each failed attempt but worse. In the end its my fault, I should have learned a while back that my feelings are, for the lack of a better word, worthless. and thats not gonna change, so I PROMISE TO GOD, HAND TO THE BIBLE that im not going to try anymore. single for me, thats it. no more hurt. ugh.
OK THATS THE LAST TIME I TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF.