U-S-A U-S-A
So as you all know by now, the 29th olympics have kicked off in Beijing for a week now. I'd say things have been going damn good as I stay up late at night watching them. I mean, did you all see that opening ceremony? Jesus, it was fucking immaculate. On top of that, there was the wide world of hats in the parade of nations at the opening. I love just..any Carribean or Central/South American nation simply because so many of them just had the kinda hats you could just hang out in. But while it's true the olympics are a subject of this entry, I'm sure by now you guys know what I'm really talking about.
I'm talking about Michael Phelps.
There is no way this man can be human, and I think I've got it down to about two theories on the subject. The first involves him (Phelps) being some manner of the spawn of Poseidon/Neptune/Dagon/insert sea god name here.
The second one, I believe is far more plausible. For starters, we must look at the musuclature of the average human being.
For comparison, I will theorize that this is what Michael Phelps musculature is like...
That's right, Michale Phelps is nuclear powered. I'm calling it now. This will probably come out sometime onc the Olympic over, but the man cannot help the fact he was BORN this way. It's not doping, it's simply evolution. After the Olympics, it is rumored Phelps will return with the gold to the secret undersea utopia of Atlantis and raise it into a modern city on the hill we can only hope to attain on our pitiful land cities. Thankfully, Phelps will be merciful and spare us if only to laugh on our inability to fly through the water like a speed boat.
....christ I'm bored.
I'm talking about Michael Phelps.
There is no way this man can be human, and I think I've got it down to about two theories on the subject. The first involves him (Phelps) being some manner of the spawn of Poseidon/Neptune/Dagon/insert sea god name here.
The second one, I believe is far more plausible. For starters, we must look at the musuclature of the average human being.
For comparison, I will theorize that this is what Michael Phelps musculature is like...
That's right, Michale Phelps is nuclear powered. I'm calling it now. This will probably come out sometime onc the Olympic over, but the man cannot help the fact he was BORN this way. It's not doping, it's simply evolution. After the Olympics, it is rumored Phelps will return with the gold to the secret undersea utopia of Atlantis and raise it into a modern city on the hill we can only hope to attain on our pitiful land cities. Thankfully, Phelps will be merciful and spare us if only to laugh on our inability to fly through the water like a speed boat.
....christ I'm bored.